dream of us in a year

“Fuck it. I’m not doing this. You just go and take her to the school.”

“Excusez-moi. I recall it was you that signed us up for this, not me.”

“Well, where the fuck is she then? It’s been hours.”

“Maybe if you hadn’t dragged us out of the TVA faster than I leave for the bathroom after some Taco Bell, we could’ve asked.”

Logan growled and continued his pacing.

Wade rolled his eyes and looked out the kitchen window for what felt like the bajillionth time today. They’d gotten up this morning ready to pick up Laura from the TVA, only then remembering the minor detail they’d forgotten to ask. They had no idea when she’d be arriving. It was now the afternoon. Which meant Wade had been forced to see Logan devolve from relative confidence to irritation to pacing back and forth in front of the door. And he’d had to run around making sure Logan didn’t drain all their alcohol. It was not easy being the lesser addict in a house full of addicts, he was running out of floorboards to hide shit in.

“Will you two knock it off. Acting like you’re about to give birth.” Al grumbled. “What happened to watching Golden Girls?”

The show had been paused much to Wade’s annoyance. He had the daunting task of catching Logan up to way too much pop culture and they couldn’t even get through a few episodes of a single show. Wade understood it wasn’t every day you met the daughter of yourself in another universe who was made using your DNA so technically she’s also your daughter, but jeez, Logan got snappy when he was nervous.

“Here, take Dogpool, her kisses are the rough equivalent of a Xanax.” Wade picked up Mary from the floor and held her up for Logan to hold.

“Her breath smells like roadkill. I’m not holding your fucking dog.”

Wade cuddled her to his chest. “Don’t listen to the big mean man Mary. You smell like flowers and rainbows. Why don’t you give Papa some kisses?” Mary licked him happily. Yup, there was nothing like puppy kisses to calm you down.

Logan growled again and pulled Mary away to put her on the floor. He grabbed Wade’s arm and forced him down to a seat at the kitchen table, before putting his hands on the table and leaning towards him. Wade felt like he was being interrogated in a shitty cop show. Or maybe a shitty porno.

Logan’s face was caught in the perpetual frown it’d had all day but he seemed hesitant to speak. “Laura… in this universe, what-” Logan paused and looked away. “What was she to me?”

“Umm.” Wade felt like it was pretty fucking obvious but he wasn’t sure how Logan would react to him saying it aloud. Or how Laura would react if she hadn’t wanted Logan to know. The last thing he wanted was two Wolverines trying to kill him. He was fine with the usual one, thanks.

“Please. Wade. I just want to know what to expect.” Holy shit, Logan’s please face was much better than his own. The man probably didn’t even know he was doing it. Totally unfair.

“Okay, but can you stop looming over me like you’re putting me in detention? It’s making me horny.”

Logan sat down and watched him intently. He was rubbing at the skin between his knuckles.

Jesus, how did one summarize the most devastating superhero movie on the planet?

“She’s your daughter.” Wade started and Logan flinched. “Well not your actual daughter, there were no birds and bees involved.”

“The hell does that mean?”

“Well, Peanut when two or more people want to touch each other very much-”

“No, you idiot. How was she born then?” Logan snapped.

“They used your DNA at a lab in Mexico. She was part of an experiment to make mutant babies. Her nurse helped her escape, they found you, and yadda yadda, sad depressing things happened until you helped her and her friends get to Canada where they’d be safe. Well, I say you but…”

“Yes, I know. Her Logan.” This Logan sighed and put his head in his hands. “What am I doing? I’m not her fucking dad. Maybe the reason she’s not here yet is because she doesn’t want to see me. She probably just went straight to the mansion. I wouldn’t fucking blame her.”

“Okay, slam the brakes on the pity bus. She’s not asking you to be her dad. In fact, we don’t even know what the hell she wants. So let’s cool the self-hatred down to whatever minimum you can get it. Laura talked to you, she helped us, and most importantly she’s right fucking there.”

“What?”

Wade frantically pointed out the window to where they could see the entrance to the TVA subway. There was a girl standing just outside with long dark hair and pink sunglasses, looking around as if searching for someone.

“Ah, fuck.” Logan jumped from his seat and rushed out the door, Wade following closely behind.

“Bye, Mary Baby! I love you! We’ll be back soon!” Wade shouted as he left the apartment. “Oh and bye Al too, I guess.”

Al grunted from her armchair and flipped him off.

They ran down the stairs and out the door, across the street to where Laura was waiting. Logan got there first and Wade watched as he nodded to her. “Hey.”

“Hey.” Laura said back and then they just stared at each other like they were having some telepathic Wolverine communication.

“Hi Tiny Wolvie! Welcome back to the real world!”

Laura gave him the slightest smile. “It’s good to be back.”

“Thought we’d go get ice cream. Eat off the interdimensional jet lag. All kids love ice cream, right?” Wade started walking in the direction of the nearest ice cream parlor.

“I don’t know if I still count as a kid but I do like ice cream.”

“Okay excuse me, all teenagers like ice cream. All human beings like ice cream. It’s a universally uniting factor of existing on this Earth.”

Logan appeared to have run out of vocabulary beyond ‘hey’ and was walking next to them in silence. It was gonna be a long day.

“So what made you come here and not O Canada? And on that note why were you even in the Void in the first place? I feel like we’re missing an important exposition dump here.”

Laura shrugged and Wade caught her glancing at Logan. She took a moment to think about it. “It’s nice in Eden, safe. They encouraged us to live normal lives there or as normal as we can get anyways. But I didn’t want to be normal, I couldn’t. I wanted to be like-” Laura cut herself off and took a breath. “I wanted to help people. I started sneaking out, listening to police scanners, stupid shit like that. I guess that’s how the TVA found me. Paradox offered me the same thing he offered you. Move to another universe, leave this timeline to die.”

Logan finally spoke up. “And what did you do?”

“I told him he could go fuck himself and then I banged up their stupid time ripper so they had to wait to try again.”

Logan smiled. Wade noticed they had the exact same smile. Always small and glancing away while they did it like they were trying to hide that they could feel positive emotions sometimes.

“Anyways, they caught me and I got thrown in the Void. I was there for I think more than a year. I don’t know, time is a bit fuzzy in there.”

“So how old are you now?” Logan asked.

“Well, if it has been a year then I guess I’d be seventeen.”

Wade stopped walking and gestured to the shop they’d stopped at. “Still a good age for ice cream.” He opened the door with a flourish and a ring from the little bell above. “After you, Princesita.”

“Don’t fucking call me that.” Yup, they have the same glare too.

Wade waited for the two to step inside before entering the parlor himself and almost turned right back around. It was extremely crowded today, a shit ton of families and children. Wade felt the eyes on him immediately. It was always worse when there were children. They would gawk and their parents would heroically reprimand them as if they weren’t staring just as much. And he could hear when they talked about him because they were never quiet enough.

Wade looked like the ooze had fallen on a pepperoni pizza instead of ninja turtles, he knew this and clearly everyone in this room was thinking the exact same thing. He’d been dealing with looks and whispers for years now, but somehow it still sucked every time.

“What the hell are they looking at?” Logan growled. Oh great, even Logan had noticed, absolutely wonderful. Laura was frowning as she looked around too.

He was ruining this for them.

“It smells like diapers in here. You guys order. I’ll be outside where I can breathe the fresh polluted city air.” Wade hastily shuffled out the door and ignored Logan calling for him.

He sat on a chair outside, the table in front of him was all sticky with melted ice cream.

He needed his hair system. Or a hat or a hoodie. Fuck, what he really needed was a new fucking face but he’d long given up on that happening. Vanessa had once told him his skin meant he could survive anything. That it had come with the powers that had saved him so she was grateful for it. Wade never really had it in him to agree.

Maybe he should just leave. He didn’t really know why he was here in the first place. This was Logan and Laura’s moment. Daddy and daughter time not daddy, daughter, and weird bald roommate time.

Wade stared as a pigeon landed on the table in front of him, working its way through an abandoned bit of waffle cone. He tossed it another little piece.

“Mr. Pigeon, I think you’re my only friend in the whole wide world.”

Mr. Pigeon cooed at him and flew away in a flutter.

“Fuck!” Wade stood up. “I should just fucking leave.”

The bell above the door rang as someone stepped out. Wade looked away, he didn’t need any more staring. He could practically hear what they were thinking. Oh look mama, the pepperoni man is talking to himself now! Yes sweetie, let’s just walk in the other direction.

Wade felt a tap on his shoulder. “Come on, bub.” Logan and Laura were back, three ice creams in hand.

“Holy shit, how’d you get this so fast? There was a big ass line.”

Laura smirked. “We may have cut the line.”

“Are we talking metaphorical cutting or…”

Laura shrugged and took a bite of her cookies and cream.

“Here, just take this.” Logan handed him an absolute monstrosity of an ice cream cone. “You didn’t tell us what to get you so we just put stuff on it.”

It was two scoops of chocolate raspberry swirl and birthday cake with a dumping of rainbow sprinkles and oreos, all in one of those nice big waffle cones.

It was moments like these where Wade wanted to fall to his knees and beg for Logan’s hand in marriage. If he was being completely honest, he felt that way most of the time since he’d moved in but that had to be a normal response to having Logan Howlett in close proximity to you at all times.

“I take it back, fuck Mr. Pigeon. You’re my bestest friend in the whole wide world.” Wade eagerly attacked his ice cream.

“Yeah, whatever. Slow down. I’m not getting you a fucking bib.”

Wade just hummed happily.

“What you looking at, bub?” Logan growled at a man nearby gawking at them. He squeaked and hurried off. “Is that park we went to yesterday nearby?”

Wade nodded, trying to pretend Logan scaring that guy off wasn’t stupid attractive. He set off towards the park.

“I don’t understand. People weren’t staring at us like that yesterday.” Logan grumbled as they walked.

Wade shrugged. “It was later in the day. We didn’t go anywhere with lots of kids.” There had been stares yesterday too, just less. Wade always noticed them.

“I think you look badass.” Laura chimed in between inhaling her ice cream.

“Thank you, Laura. That’s very sweet but badass doesn’t get me on the cover of Vogue.”

“I’ve seen so many mutants you just look normal to me.” Logan said. “You’re just you and you look… you look fine.”

“Oh my gosh, The Wolverine just said I look fine. Wade exclaimed. This is the best day of my life. Did you hear that Laura?”

“Why are you acting like that? I just said you looked fine.”

Laura snickered.

“Thank you for the compliment, Peanut.” Wade waggled his imaginary eyebrows. “I didn’t know you were so attracted to me, you should’ve said so earlier!”

“What, no.” Logan spluttered. “I take it back, you’re hideous. Get away from me.”

“Nope! No take-backs!” Wade sing-songed, feeling slightly better.

They arrived at the park and took a seat on a bench underneath some oaks, spanish moss hanging down beside them. It was a nice day, all the days had been nice.

“Yes, that was a Good Omens reference. And before you ask, yes, the last season did make me cry.” Wade whispered. He then busied himself by attacking his frankly huge ice cream. Wade was very skilled at eating while speaking but he was hoping if he stayed quiet enough Logan or Laura would start talking to each other.

Unfortunately, they both seemed content to stare off into the trees and sit in silence. Typical.

After what felt like forever, Logan finally spoke up. “Laura.” He hesitated. “I just. I wanted to thank you. For what you said back in the void.”

Laura shrugged. “No need to thank me. I knew you’d come help us.”

“You couldn’t have known that though. I’m not the same person as your… as your Logan.”

Laura continued to eat her ice cream for so long that Wade thought she just wasn’t going to respond.

“I know you’re not the same person but you’re like him. I knew him so I know you.” She answered simply.

Logan swallowed and glanced at Wade, then grimaced at what he saw. Wade was not eating his ice cream very elegantly.

“So, the TVA told us you want to join the X-Men.” Logan continued after another pause.

“Maybe. I’m not really sure yet.”

Logan grunted. He glanced at Wade again, this time a little more helplessly and Wade took it as his cue to swoop in.

“You know the X-Men aren’t all that. Most of them have sticks so far up their asses, those things have never seen the light of day.”

Logan glared at him.

“What? She should know what she’s in for! The sticks are reaching their brains!”

Laura smiled. “Does that go for all X-Men?”

“Absolutely. Especially big hairy ones with kitty cat hair and that always forget to close the toothpaste tube.” Wade raised up his ice cream to take another bite, only for Logan to push it into his face. Wade yelped and scrunched up at the feeling of ice cream in his nose.

Laura laughed. Bright and happy, a real laugh. It sounded nice and she seemed surprised at herself for it. Logan’s eyes softened and Wade knew he’d be the brunt of many jokes trying to get that laughter back.

He was okay with that.

They made their way back to the apartment once Laura’s stomach rumbled and they realized it was around dinner time. Wade had insisted on cooking at home because they had just gotten groceries and they were not made of money for fuck’s sake.

Laura was introduced to Blind Al, who just like with Logan, was remarkably nice. Wade was extremely jealous.

“How come you’re not so nice with me?” He pouted.

“Cause you’re a little shithead. Now go cook us some food. I’m starving.”

“Jesus, so bossy.” Wade leaned over to whisper at Laura. “She gets hangry.”

Laura was then brutally attacked by a tiny dog slobbering all over her jeans.

“Oh, and this is Dogpool, also known as Mary Puppins. She’s got a lot of love in her heart so feel free to pick her up, get a feel of that tongue.”

“She’s so cute.” Laura picked Mary up and gave her some head scratches, taking care not to get licked in the face.

“Finally someone who appreciates the beauty of my beloved baby. My only child.”

“If you’re done with the dog, can you help me out here?” Logan called from the kitchen.

Laura handed Mary over to Al and followed Wade over to the kitchen where Logan was digging through the fridge. “What’s on the menu, Peanut?”

“Thought we’d make those noodles we got yesterday.”

“Fuck, yes.” Wade shuffled around Logan to help. The kitchen was a tight fit for three people but they made it work. Laura was put on vegetable-chopping duty. She unsheathed her claws to do it before Logan quickly told her that wouldn’t be necessary and handed her a knife.

Wade was on noodles and sauce. Logan was working on the pork he’d picked out at the grocery store, occasionally staring at whatever Wade was doing.

“Can you stop with that fucking face, I know what I’m doing, thank you.” Wade snapped after a particularly judgy look from Logan.

“Alright, alright. Just making sure.”

“I’m so hurt you don’t trust me. I made you some bomb ass pancakes yesterday.”

“Anyone can make pancakes, bub.”

“Oh sorry, I wasn’t aware I was talking to Gordon fucking Ramsey. What do you suggest then, Chef?”

“The sauce needs sesame oil and put in more of the chili.”

Wade mimicked him in an exaggerated low voice but did what Logan said. He stuck a finger in the sauce and licked it. Fuck, it did actually taste better.

Logan gave him an ‘I told you so’ look.

Wade rolled his eyes and grumbled.

“Is this good?” Laura asked from her station at the counter.

Logan put a hand on Wade’s waist as he squeezed behind him to get to Laura. Wade could feel the exact second his brain stopped functioning and there was nothing but a loading screen circling behind his eyes. He felt the spot where Logan had touched him like a burn on his skin. He had visions of putting an apron over his Deadpool suit and cooking with Logan for the rest of his fucking life.

“I’m gonna go put on some music!” He yelped and quickly escaped the kitchen.

Jesus fucking Christ, this was bad.

“Can someone please tell me the tags on this fic? What the actual fuck is happening to me?” He hissed.

It wasn’t just that Wade was attracted to Logan. Of course, he was, a fucking rock would be attracted to that man. The problem was that he wasn’t just attracted to him. That he could’ve handled. The problem was Wade wanted to cook with him and live with him and tie them together at the hip and sleep in the same bed. And not sleep as in fucking (although he obviously wouldn’t mind that either), he would be happy literally just sleeping next to him. Hearing him breathe at night. Making him laugh. He wanted to know everything about Logan. He wanted to tell Logan everything about himself.

It terrified Wade to think it but he hadn’t felt this way about anyone except for Vanessa. He hadn’t talked about his grandmother or his childhood to anyone but her and there he had been, spilling his guts to a man he’d known for a little over a week. It was insane.

And he still loved Vanessa. Didn’t he? He’d saved the world for her. He’d thought of her the whole fucking time. Maybe he just needed to see her again, talk to her. She’d been, not only his fiance, but his best friend for years, and a part of him just wanted to tell her everything and hear what she thought.

Wade pulled out his phone and opened Vanessa’s messages but hesitated. For once he didn’t know what to fucking say.

He took a deep breath and shoved everything to the back of his mind. He was great at that. He looked back down at his phone, instead opening up his ‘X-Fuckers’ group chat and texted Colossus, Ellie, Yukio, and Domino about Laura and how he’d be by later to drop her off. He also texted Dopinder to ask him to take them to the school.

There. Everything was perfectly fine and he had everything perfectly under control. He ignored the barrage of messages that immediately followed his text and threw his phone on the couch.

Al cleared her throat. “If you’re done with your little panic attack, you promised us some music.”

Right.

Wade went over to their Tonstad cabinet with the record player on top and looked through the records lining the shelves.

“Hey, chefs!” Wade shouted. Logan and Laura looked through the counter window into the living room. “What about this?” He lifted his In The Zone album.

They gave him identical disgruntled looks.

Wade groaned and threw himself onto the couch face down. Nobody in this house liked him.

He heard the steps of someone walking near him and shuffling through the records. He didn’t look up, he was too busy moping. He couldn’t even play Britney Spears in the comfort and safety of his own home, what was the world coming to?

The sound of glass shattering came from the record player. Wade looked up quickly but it was just part of the music Laura had chosen. She was standing next to Logan by the records and nodding her head to the familiar guitar.₁

“Fucking dad rock. I should have known.” Wade mumbled into the couch.

He got a hard poke in the shoulder. “Get up. You’re supposed to be watching-”

Wade gasped. “My noodles!”

He rolled off the couch and ran for the kitchen, the others following behind. They continued with their cooking, everything smelled fucking delicious and the music did actually help calm Wade from his earlier panic. He moved his hips to the beat and started shimmying a bit to the music.

“There is not enough room in here for dancing.” Logan grumbled.

Wade smiled and started moonwalking around the kitchen. He didn’t like to dance much outside the suit but anything that annoyed Logan was worth doing. Laura gave a confused laugh as he winked at her.

“Please stop.”

“Come on, Honey Badger. You approved of this song! You won’t even enjoy it?”

“I can enjoy it without looking like a fucking idiot.”

Wade grabbed a spoon and started lip-sync serenading Laura with it. “Turn out the light! Don’t try to save me. You may be wrong, for all I know, but you may be right.” Laura rolled her eyes but she was smiling. She started drumming the beat onto the counter with two forks.

He turned from Laura towards Logan, obnoxiously close. “Weeell, remember how I found you there, alone in your electric chair. I told you dirty jokes until you smiled.”

Logan growled and turned the other way but Wade could see he was struggling to keep a straight face.

“You were lonely for a man. I said. Take. Me. As. I. Am.” Wade emphasized every word with a poke. “Cause you might enjoy some madness for a while.”

“I’m gonna move out. This is ridiculous.” Logan started shoving ingredients back into the fridge and putting anything they had used into the sink.

“If I’m crazy then it’s true, that it’s all because of you and you wouldn’t want me any other waaayyy.”

Al sighed as the floorboards creaked from Wade’s dancing. “If this is ridiculous, you should’ve let him put on the Britney Spears.” She mumbled.

Wade danced around the little space. He tugged at Logan’s arm and tried to get him to dance. He was gonna get this man to loosen up if it killed him. Logan growled and took a swipe at him but Wade just twirled away to avoid it.

“Guitar solo!” Wade shouted, shredding on his air guitar. “Keep us going on those drums Laura!”

Wade shimmied up to Logan, still going on his air guitar. “You know, maybe you just don’t actually know this song. Is that it?”

“I know the fucking song, Wade.”

“Hmm no, I don’t think you do.”

“I know it better than you, you’re not even singing.”

“Prove it then, big guy.”

Logan grabbed the spoon from Wade’s hand and proceeded to do the grumpiest singing Wade had ever heard. “You may be right! I may be crazy!”

Wade grabbed another spoon and quickly joined him, singing for real this time. “Hey! But it just may be a lunatic you’re lookin’ for!”

“Turn out the light.” Wade clapped delightedly as Laura joined in very quietly. “Oh, don’t try to save me.”

“You may be wrong for all I know, you may be right.” Suddenly they were all scream-singing together. Logan was even smiling, for fuck’s sake. Wade wished he could take a picture and carry it around in a heart-shaped locket or something. “You may be wrong but you may be right! You may be wrong but you may be right! YOU MAY BE WRONG BUT YOU MAY BE RIGHT!”

Mary started howling as they got louder until the song faded away and they were all left breathing hard.

“Why didn’t the Lord make me deaf instead.” Al grumbled.

The ramen turned out delicious, even if the pork was slightly charred from Wade distracting Logan. Wade chatted nonstop as they ate, trying to pull the others into conversation or trying to get them to laugh. Laura was very quiet, only speaking up occasionally. It would take her time to warm up to them. Wade really hoped she would visit them and not just disappear to the mansion. He knew that would tear Logan up and to be honest, he’d be pretty sad about it too. She was a good kid.

After dinner, Al gave Laura a hug before she left. “Since this idiot invited a roommate without asking that means I get to too. So if that fancy boarding school of yours don’t work out, you better come back and stay here with us. I’ll make Wade sleep on the floor.”

“I second that invitation although I’d prefer not to sleep on the floor. My back is very sensitive.”

Logan just nodded and looked at Laura fondly.

“Are you coming?” She asked him, as she petted Mary goodbye.

“I don’t know if I’m ready to go back there, kid.”

Laura hid her disappointment well and turned away to leave.

“But… when I’m ready, I’ll come visit you.” Logan took a deep breath. “And if you wanted to visit us too, I- I’d like that.”

Laura faced the door for a moment, before quickly turning back to throw her arms around Logan. Before he could even realize what was happening, she let go and practically ran out the door.

Wade hurried to follow. “Have fun you two! Not too much fun though, I want the apartment in one piece when I come back.” Wade wished he had time to unpack the look on Logan’s face as his arms hung limp at his sides, he was still staring after Laura.

Al linked arms with Logan and pulled him away. “Come on, handsome. I got you all to myself tonight.” Wade pushed away his worry for Logan, Al would take care of him.

Wade closed the door and ran to follow Laura down the stairs, out the building to where a familiar yellow taxi was waiting. “Our chariot awaits.” He told Laura, who was looking at the sky with a carefully blank expression. He opened the door and shuffled in after her.

“Hello Wade! It is so good to see you! You disappeared during your birthday party, everyone thought you were dead!” Dopinder exclaimed cheerily from the driver’s seat.

Oh. He’d forgotten about that. That might explain the onslaught of messages he’d gotten after texting the group.

“You could say that I did die in a way but now I’ve been reborn, resurrected as Marvel Jesus and have returned after saving the world to bless you all with my presence.”

“Saving the world?” Dopinder beamed. “I thought you didn’t do saving the world?”

Wade put a hand to his chest. “I’m a changed man, Dopinder. Anyways, this is Laura. She’s a friend of mine and she helped save the world too.”

“Nice to meet you, Miss Laura!”

“Nice to meet you too.” Laura mumbled. Her focus seemed elsewhere. Wade hoped she wasn’t about to have a teenage angst moment.

“Have you told everyone you’re back Wade? They were all pretty worried.”

“Uh no, but I will. I’m thinking of having another little get-together to celebrate me finally becoming a world-saving superhero and also I have someone I need to introduce you all to.”

“Is it the proctologist you told us you wanted to see?”

Laura made a grossed out face.

“No! Jesus, Dopinder there’s a fucking child in the car. God!” He turned to Laura. “That was a joke. I don’t need to see a proctologist, at least not anymore.”

Wade poked his head through the space between the front two seats. “No, the person I need to introduce you all to is someone I picked up along my little life-changing adventure. A little nobody known as…” Wade lowered his voice to a whisper and got as close to Dopinder’s ear as possible. “The Wolverine.”

The car screeched to a halt at a red light, almost sending Wade flying. Dopinder’s jaw dropped as he turned to Wade. “The- the..”

Wade nodded with a solemn look and plopped back into his seat. Dopinder turned to face the road, his mouth still open.

“I can not believe I, Dopinder, will meet The Wolverine. A true superhero.” He had a look of awe on his face.

“Ahem, did you not hear me say I saved the world? That’s pretty superhero-level stuff if you ask me.”

“But I thought The Wolverine was dead? How are we going to met a dead person?”

“That, my friend, is a very long story that I will tell in great detail and complete accuracy at the aforementioned get-together. So you better be there.”

Dopinder gave a salute.

They sat in silence for a while, only the soft sound of Indian music coming from the radio and Wade clicking away on his phone as he invited people to the apartment. His phone was never on silent cause he liked to be obnoxious like that.

“He was right.” Laura said, looking out the window.

“Hmm?” Wade was still staring at his phone. He was trying to word a way to invite Vanessa without seeming desperate or weird.

“Logan. He is different from my Logan. More… at peace? Or open? I don’t know.” Laura mused. “I think you’re good for him. How long have you two been together?”

Wade blinked a few times as he loaded what she just said.

“Logan, Logan. That sounds familiar.” Dopinder said.

“No, no, no, no, we aren’t together. That’s very sweet of you to think he’d want a human naked mole rat but let’s come back to reality please.”

Laura frowned. “Are you fucking serious?”

“Logannn. It’s on the tip of my tongue!” Dopinder was still thinking.

Laura turned to face Wade. “But you live together!”

“I also live with an old blind lady and we are not having intimate relations. Do I need to explain the concept of a roommate to you, Princesita? Because you will be having one very soon.”

“Shut the fuck up. I was with you two all day. I saw the way you talk to each other, the way you look at each other.”

“You also met us in the void. I don’t know if you recall this Dory, but you picked us up after we’d been fighting. He hated me.”

“Fighting?” Laura’s voice was getting much louder. “Is that what happened in that van? Because I genuinely couldn’t fucking tell.”

Wade didn’t want to admit that there’d been a point where he hadn’t really been able to tell either.

“Logan!” Dopinder gasped. “That’s the name of The Wolverine! You’re dating the Wolverine?!?” The car screeched to a halt again causing Wade to slam into the front seat.

“Jesus fuck, Dopinder! I’m giving you a negative tip.” Wade rubbed at his nose.

“Yes, yes he is.” Laura answered Dopinder’s question for him.

“No, no I am not. Why the fuck are you so passionate about my love life?”

“Because he’s happy!”

“I can’t make him happy in a totally platonic best buddies way?”

Laura hesitated. “Well… yes but-“

“Nope, no buts. I’m tired of this conversation.”

“I hope I’m invited to your wedding.” Dopinder whispered.

“Oh my god, there’s not gonna be a wedding. I was engaged once and look how that turned out. My ex-girlfriend now has a stable relationship with her office fuck-buddy. But not to worry, I will be heroically winning her back any day now.”

“You had a girlfriend?” Laura said, disbelievingly.

“Yes. Holy shit, I’m getting deja vu. Why is that so difficult to believe?”

Laura opened her mouth to respond.

“Actually, don’t answer that.”

“I’m just surprised you’re into women to be honest.” Laura answered anyways. Damn her.

“You know usually people think I’m only into women so that’s kinda a nice change of pace. But no, Deadpool is into everybody, he does not discriminate.”

Laura shook her head. “But you’re not into Logan?”

“No, I am not into Logan.” Wade stated firmly

There was a beat of silence.

“Wow, that was probably the least convincing sentence I’ve ever heard you say.” Dopinder confirmed.

“Dopinderrrrrrr.” Wade whined. He rolled down the window. “I’m jumping out now.”

Laura grabbed his arm and pulled him down. Jesus, she was strong.

“Stop that.” She reached over him and closed the window. “It’s fine. We don’t have to talk about it anymore.” She sat back down with her arms crossed and looked away from him pointedly.

Wade sighed dramatically and slumped into his seat.

He didn’t like Logan. He was not into Logan. He wasn’t wondering what he was doing right now and he definitely didn’t miss him because that would be pathetic. He loved Vanessa. Only Vanessa. Wade repeated these thoughts like a mantra because what else could he do? Even if he did hypothetically have more than platonic feelings for Logan, what would it do? Logan certainly didn't feel that way. Wade was lucky enough to have him as a friend.

Laura was still looking out the window, rubbing at the skin between her knuckles. Wade knew Logan well enough by now to recognize it as a sign of nerves. It was remarkable how similar they were despite having spent their whole lives apart. It made him want to apologize to her, although he had no idea what for.

Eventually, Wade felt the familiar rumble of cobblestone under the car as they pulled up to Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters.

Dopinder parked in the driveway and eagerly went ahead to knock on the door. He’d spent so much time ferrying Wade back and forth from here and hanging out with his friends that he was a welcome favorite at the school. Wade rolled his eyes fondly as the front door opened to much exclaiming. They’d probably make Dopinder an X-Men before they ever made Deadpool one.

Wade noticed Laura had gotten out of the car but was making no move to follow. She was looking up at the mansion with wide eyes, hands clenching and unclenching.

“Hey, don’t be scared. Sticks up butts, remember? I’m sure they’ll sort you into Gryffindor or whatever.”

“The fuck is Gryffindor?” She mumbled.

“Forget about it, the world doesn’t need more Potterheads. In fact, getting rid of some will probably be your first X-men mission.”

She started to fidget with her backpack but still didn’t take even a single step forward. Wade went over to stand next to her and stare up at the striking (and frankly intimidating as all fuck) stone walls of the school.

“You know you never really answered my question.”

“What question?” She asked, not once looking away.

“Why you came here, instead of going back to Eden.”

Laura sighed and messed with her backpack some more. “It’s… it’s complicated.”

Wade shrugged. “I love complicated.”

Laura glanced at him and seemed to consider it. Whatever she saw in Wade’s face must have reassured her because she began to speak and once she started, she rushed through her words like she needed to get it all out, needed to say this out loud.

“Back in Eden, none of the other kids met their parents and they never will. They didn’t understand me, they just couldn’t. Why I was still so angry, so upset over this man I’d known for only a week, why I kept sneaking out every night, why I couldn’t just let it go. They told me it didn’t matter, that those weren’t really our parents. Nothing but a few strands of DNA. I know they said that to make themselves feel better but I couldn’t take it.” Her breath was coming faster, the words spilling out of her.

“I met my father.” Her voice cracked slightly on that last word. “He saved me, saved all of us. My father was an X-Men. I need to do this, Wade.” When she finally looked at him, her eyes were shining.

“Alright I’m gonna hug you now. Is that okay?” Wade asked.

Laura rolled her eyes but nodded. Wade wrapped her up in his arms and ignored that she was shaking a bit.

“I saw him and for a second I felt like a little girl again.” Laura said wetly from Wade’s shirt. “I know he’s not my dad, I know that, but I just. I don’t know. I don’t really know what I’m doing here.”

“That’s fine. I never know what I’m doing.”

“I’m sorry I pushed you on the whole dating thing. I shouldn’t have assumed.”

“Nah, it’s fine.”

“I can kill your girlfriend’s office guy if you want?”

“I think I’ll pass on that but I’ll keep you in mind, Mini Peanut.”

Laura let go of Wade and wiped at her eyes.

“You know, you are remarkably emotionally intelligent for a Wolverine. Did you go to anger management classes? I need to get Logan to go to one of those.”

Laura smiled softly. “Guess I’m just way cooler than Logan.”

“Attagirl.” Wade gave her a nudge towards the door. “I don’t know about you but I’ve had way too many emotions for one day. Let’s wrap this chapter up. I need my beauty sleep.”

They walked through the door to a chorus of “Wade!”

Wade saw a flash of white and pink hair before he was being hugged from two sides.

“Hi Wade!” said the person from his left side.

“Hi Yukio!!” Wade hugged her back while the person on his right let go of him and punched him in the shoulder.

“The fuck’s this I hear about you teaming up with Wolverine. I thought we were the dream team, bro! You’ve fucking betrayed me.” A familiar New Zealand accent shouted, despite standing right next to him.

“Nice to see you too, Russell. Not my fault you took off on some little training wheels mission, on my birthday I might add. So, you ask yourself who really did the betraying.” Wade ruffled the boy’s hair and noticed he was getting taller. That wasn’t allowed, Wade would have to steal a shrink ray from the minions.

“Are you really dating The Wolverine?” Ellie spoke from behind him.

Wade yelped and turned around. “No and stop using your goth emo vampire powers to sneak up on me. I’m gonna get you a bell.”

Yukio pouted. “You promised to tell us if you met someone.”

Wade’s heart melted. “I know Yukio, but there really is nothing going on. You would be the first to know I swear. We just epically saved the world together. Really heroic stuff, X-Men level one could even say. You should recommend me to your higher-ups.”

“I knew you weren’t getting laid by the fucking Wolverine. Nobodies that lucky, not even me.” Domino spoke up from beside Dopinder.

“Thanks for the vote of confidence.” Wade scowled.

He noticed Laura still standing just in front of the door, looking overwhelmed.

“Alright, everyone shut the fuck up. I’ve brought you another little baby X-Men so you’re welcome.”

Everyone turned to look at Laura.

She set her jaw and glared at everyone. Right, classic Wolvie defense mechanism.

“Ignore the face she’s actually a huge softie.”

“Wade. A word with you, please.” Colossus called from a room near the entrance.

“Duty calls.” He pointed at Laura firmly. “Be nice.”

He abandoned Laura to be surrounded by friendly X-Men and only felt kinda bad about it. She’d be fine.

Wade pranced into the office Colossus was in. “What, no warm welcome from you big guy? I’m hurt. I thought we had something special, babycakes.”

“Welcome back, Wade. It is good to see you.” Colossus patted him on the shoulder, which hurt like a bitch.

“But, I need you to explain this to me.” Colossus pointed at a TV that was currently showing the news. There was a shaky camera video of Wolverine and Deadpool fighting off the horde of Deadpool variants with a news anchor's voice talking over it.

“Absolutely terrible videography skills. I’ve seen iPad kids record better than that. I really can’t explain shoddy camera work to you, film is an art. It’s a medium we’re not currently in but-”

“No, Wade. Explain how The Wolverine is alive and fighting beside you!” Colossus exclaimed, his metal hands gesturing at the TV.

“It’s a long story and if you all would just be patient enough to wait for storytime with Deadpool when you all come over to my apartment soon, I will tell you everything and you can even meet him!”

“Meet him? He is still with you?” Colossus beamed. “This is wonderful news! He must join the X-Men at once!”

“Woah, no. He doesn’t have to do anything.”

“Of course, he must!” Colossus smiled. He pointed over to the wall of picture frames behind the small desk. “He belongs here!”

Wade got closer to the wall and stared at it while Colossus rambled on about how good it would be for the X-Men image and how excited the students would be and other bullshit. On the wall, there were photos of the X-Men. The real X-Men, not the extra ones that were in Deadpool movies cause they couldn’t afford more actors.

There was Cyclops, Jean Gray, Storm, Rogue, Beast, and more. Professor X could be seen in most of the pictures, looking proudly over his students. And of course… Logan. Always with a face like he didn’t want to be there. Yet there he was, in not just one but several pictures.

This was Logan’s family. And Wade had been shitty enough to drag him to another universe where they weren’t alive.

“I’ll ask him.” Wade replied softly. “But I wouldn’t get my hopes up.”

After trying (and failing) to get all his friends to pinkie promise they would come to his apartment later that week and giving Laura one last hug, Wade went back home. Dopinder had rambled about Wolverine and the X-Men the whole drive back no matter how much Wade tried to change the subject.

He was tired. The last week had been exhausting physically and now it seemed the world wanted all the little Inside Out people in his brain to be exhausted too.

“No, Inside Out is too neat. The inside of my brain looks more like that one episode of SpongeBob. Except with more fire.” Wade sighed as he finally pushed his way up the stairs and through the door.

“Daddy’s home!” Wade called then froze in the doorway. The living room was dark and there was an old jazz record spinning on the player.₂

“Why does it sound like an Olive Garden in here? Did you bring me breadsticks?”

“Shhh!” Al waved her hands at him frantically to shut up.

Wade made no effort to be quieter. “Is that Nat King Cole? This song was in Moulin Rouge! I’ve always wanted-”

Al threw a pillow at his voice and missed widely.

“Wow, that totally hit me.” He deadpaned.

“Just hush and listen, boy!” Al pointed towards the bathroom, at least Wade thought that was what she was pointing at.

At first, he could just hear the water from the shower but once he got closer he could hear… singing?

Wade’s jaw dropped and he rushed to the bathroom door as silently as he could to press his ear to it. The voice was muffled with the shower and the door but it was unmistakably Logan. He was singing softly, just barely audible and it wasn’t half-yelling like earlier that day, it was real singing.

“And then one day, one magic day he passed my way.” It was stupid how beautiful it was. Logan’s voice was low and rich. It made Wade want to slam his head through the wood and yell ‘Here’s Deadpool!’ He sank down to the floor and leaned his head against the door.

“You better lock this man down or I’m gonna do it for you.” Al huffed.

Wade grabbed Mary and cuddled her close for emotional support. The little Deadpools in his head were definitely screaming and throwing papers around now. Logan would be pissed if he opened the door and saw Wade sitting there like a creep but he just couldn’t help it. He wanted to implant that voice in his brain. Put it on a record and listen to it everyday.

The song ended with just a whisper and Wade couldn’t hear Logan anymore but he could imagine it.

“The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.” The piano and flute faded away. Wade ever so slowly laid himself down on the floor and stared at the ceiling.

He was insanely, massively, irrevocably, fucked.