Anal douching
“What was that?” Logan started not sure how to feel,the mix of emotions that happened in the span of 10 seconds was insane.
Disgusted, angry, sad, guilty, and horny
“What was what? Fuck I don’t know Logan, what if I told you It’s because I forgot to take my ADHD medicine.”
"No, because you don’t have medication because your healing factor burns it off.”
"Actually, my power isn’t a healing factor, more of a constantly dying." Wade got shut up as Logan got in the car and slammed the door.
Wade sighed and walked over to the driver seat, getting in.
“Um” Wade started but stopped as Logan gave Wade a bag of chips and his green tea without a word, leaning back and closing his eyes.
“Did you just steal that for me?”
“We saved the world, so who gives a shit? and I didn’t do it for you; I did it because the guy in the store pissed me off.”
“Sure sure”
Silence
The sound of a chip bag opening
“So are you going to drive?” Logan commented, eyes still closed.
“This is so freaking annoying!” Wade suddenly burst out
Logan opened an eye. Was Wade annoyed at him? ?
“Or don’t drive,” Logan said hesitantly.
“No-what no, it’s not about that." Wade said pulling off his Deadpool mask.
“I feel like I’m taking advantage of you—your body language tells me you want me, but I know you can't...It’s not because it's me; it’s because of your mutation! It’s so hard to not flirt with you.“ Wades words flooded out like a dam breaking.
“Wade I don’t care if you want to fuck me, bub. I mean, it’s obvious; why else would you get horny around me? I know” Logan said his face was heating up. Sitting up more, his eyes opened, not really wanting to admit this aloud, but if it would make Wade calm down, he would.
Logan wasn’t blind nor dumb; he knew Wade was attractive to him.
"No, Logan, you.... I don’t want to fuck you." Wades voice dropped low and defeated
Wade didn’t just want to fuck him anymore.
Wade wanted more.
Confusion drafted across Logan’s face. “I know what I smell. Wade, out of all the people, I would expect you not to be shy about this,” he said.
Wade gave a little smile and turned on the car.
“Yeah, your right." Wade said Lieing to tired, and honestly, he didn’t have the strength to tell Logan, especially while his mutation was acting up.
Wade wasn’t hungry for his snacks anymore but ate them because Logan stole them for him.
For him
After a few minutes of driving, Logan was back to reclining his seat and closing his eyes.
"Didn't you learn from the first time?” Wade tried to joke, but honestly he wasn’t in the mood for himself.
“I’ll take my chances,” Logan replied, glad that his hard on finally went away.
“How long until we get to whatever we’re going?”
"Uhhh, 5 minutes?”
“Want to explain who we’re meeting?”
“Like I said, I know a guy that knows a guy. ”
"Wow, thanks Wade, that’s so much information." Logan sarcastically replied
“Why didn’t you steal anything for yourself?” Wade asked as soon as the question popped up in his head.
“I forget to eat, so I just didn't,” Logan replied.
“You forget to eat? How do you forget to eat? Food literally makes my day.”
“Didn’t eat much in my timeline; beer was all I wanted; I couldn’t starve,” Logan shrugged.
“Oh, that explains why I only see you eating if I give you food..." was responded, not sure if he should joke or slip off his persona.
“Food can make a day.” Logan said, thinking about when he and his X-men friends used to eat dinner together.
“Are you agreeing with me for once?” Wade said flabbergasted.
“Not anymore, dickhead.” Logan barked out, sitting up with a huff and realizing Wade was pulling up to a modern house isolated by trees all around.
“Wade what the fuck is this?” Logan said, making up his mind that he was not going to some random house.
“What did you expect some doctors office?” Wade said parking the car
"Yeah,” Logan said, reaching over to turn the car back on. Wade put his hands on Logan’s shoulder to keep him away. “We may have saved the world, but we’re not rich, and we can’t steal a doctor's appointment, plus we're supporting a small business.”
Logan huffed and stopped reaching to turn the car back on. “Isn’t this kind of how you became Deadpool? Trusting a random'scientist’ “
Wade rolled his eyes with a huff, opening his car door. “The situation was a little different from that.“ He stepped outside and stretched before leaning back in. “I promise you, Logan, you don’t have to worry. I would never let anyone go through what I had to, especially you. I checked.“
Logan, flushed by the sudden slip off of Wades persona and feeling slightly awkward, how was Logan supposed to react to someone declaring they cared about him?
"Okay,” Logan said after running through a thousand responses, ‘no fuck off. ‘You care about me? Hardly’ ‘don’t lie’ ‘I’ll do it, but not because of your prep talk.’
"Woah, that didn’t take much convincing lesson learned; all you got to do is pull on big bad wolf's heart strings." Wade teased yelping as Logan swung and clawed out at him while Wade was closing the door.
Logan got out of the car with an attitude, his claws still out as he marched around to get to Wade.
“I just told you how much I care about you, and this is the thanks I get???” Wade started to speed walk to the door and rang the doorbell multiple times in fear as an angry edged wolverine stalked him.
The door opened, and it was a tall, older, chiseled man. “hello?” He said, and next to him was
“Blind AL??” Wade shouted, and Logan was so surprised his claws went back in.
“Wade? I know that’s your voice. What did I say? Leave me and my vacation alone!” She creaked out.
"Wait, wait, Granny, you said you were going to a beach house or something.”
Logan now stood next to Wade, “All of you shut up, I’m here for an appointment.”
The guys face lit up in understanding.
The wrong understanding: “Oh, your here for the Anal douching.”
Silence
“What no, we’re here for the mutant thingy!” Wade said
“What does that even mean?” Logan said starting to get pissed off with everything.
"Oh, sorry, yeah, it’s when—never mind, just come inside,” the guy explained, stepping back so they could follow.