Elevated

Darcy looked smug the entire way down the elevator and into the cab. It was a long time to be smug about a handful of words. The same handful of words stuck with Nora the entire night, into the cab home, and then continued to stick while she puttered around her apartment the next two days.

Bucky didn’t say a lot, Nora knew that well. If he could get away with not saying something, he wouldn’t. Instead, he would wait or shrug or look at her with his very blue eyes. She couldn’t figure out why he had opened his mouth to say that.

Alone in her apartment, staring at the ceiling from her plush rug, Nora blushed again. Bucky’s words in the lounge had sparked a fire across her cheeks that lingered down to the lobby and every time she remembered them it started right back up.

She had been embarrassed to talk to him after crying all over his jacket. She was sure he felt awkward about it when he took a couple steps into the lounge and Steve had to shove him the rest of the way. She had already been worried about how they would get past it to go for coffee again the next week. Then he’d told her she was beautiful and she couldn’t stop blushing at the memory. How the hell was she supposed to get in an elevator with him and not remember it?

She covered her face with her arms and Luna got up to try and nudge under them with her nose. She still couldn’t read Bucky at all.

Clint had been weird all weekend. It was making him bad at his job.

Bucky was pretty sure the man could still hit a penny with an arrow from two hundred yards, but he couldn’t block a punch to save his life. Bucky spent ten minutes landing increasingly harder hits on him in the sparring ring before deciding enough was enough and employing a vicious takedown that left him flat-backed and wheezing on the floor. Bucky eyed him with distaste.

He'd been trying to get better at asking questions so he waved a hand at Clint’s overall form and said, “Why?” hoping he could infer the ‘do you suck’ that belonged at the end. The man made a pathetic sort of groaning noise and threw both hands over his face. It was fairly alarming. Bucky shot a look at Steve who was slouched on a bench nearby. He shrugged, looking mystified.

The doors at the end of the room swung open and Sam practically bounced into the gym, rocketing across the floor and towards the ring. He drew up near Steve and his wide grin faltered at the sight of Clint lying prone, “What’s wrong with him?”

Sam had been visiting his sister and gotten back late the previous night. Bucky squinted at him. Sam liked to sleep in. He didn’t usually have a problem doing so, either. His presence in the gym at all that morning was deeply suspicious.

Clint gave another low groan from the floor. Bucky left him there and slipped between the ropes to find his water bottle. He didn’t need it, Clint was being so pathetic he hadn’t broken a sweat, but he thought it might help to have something to do when Sam started in on whatever he was there for.

Sam shot Clint one more odd look, then rounded on Bucky, gleeful smile clawing its way back onto his face, “What’s this I heard,” There it was, Bucky thought, “about you calling Nora beautiful?” Bucky shot a furious look at Steve, who threw his hands up and shook his head. Sam glanced from Bucky to Steve and said, “Were you there? Why didn’t I hear it from you?”

Steve, for all he tried to encourage Bucky to open up, took a page from Bucky’s book and shrugged. Bucky wondered who the fuck Sam had heard it from.

Sam rounded on Bucky again, “Did you?”

Bucky took a drink. He considered not answering. He considered leaving the gym altogether. He could go to the lab to find Nora. Maybe she’d hold his hand again. But he had committed to the whole speaking thing and he supposed this was as good a way as any to practice. He tossed the plastic bottle towards the bench and turned to Sam, squaring his body like one might before a fight, “Yes.”

“Why?”

Bucky thought that was a pretty fucking stupid question, but he answered it anyways, “She is.”

Sam looked thrilled. For a second Bucky thought that might be it, but he continued, “But why Nora?” Bucky looked at him. He was committed to the conversation, he just really didn’t understand what Sam was asking. Sam got it, “I mean, they’re all beautiful right?” He looked back at Steve, “How did Darcy look?”

Clint made a truly terrible noise from under his arms. They all looked at him.

“Oh shit, man.” Sam said. His grin slipped, “I can only deal with one of you at a time.”

Bucky frowned. Obviously, Clint liked Darcy, but why was that anything to do with Sam? And why did Sam seem to think that he was dealing with Bucky? “What?” He asked aloud, hoping it encompassed at least a little of his confusion.

“Come on!” Sam shouted, throwing his hands up, “I’ve been trying to get you to admit that you like Nora for weeks! Why the hell do you think I’ve been telling you every time I text her?”

Over Sam’s shoulder Steve’s eyebrows shot up. He opened his mouth like he was going to say something, then thought better of it.

That was- comforting. Bucky had been a little worried that Sam might be interested in Nora. He would’ve hated to have to run his friend out of the country. He frowned. Did Sam think he needed help admitting he liked Nora? Was Sam trying to help him get a date? His frown turned into a scowl. He’d never needed help getting a date in his life.

“I like Nora.” Bucky said firmly. Because he did. A lot. Sam and Steve both stared at him in open-mouthed surprise. Clint sat up slowly, his arms falling away from his face, so he too could stare. Bucky leveled a finger at Sam, “Fucking butt out.”

He thought it might have worked on Sam, who remained quietly dumbstruck, but it didn’t work on Steve who chirped suddenly, grinning, “Are you going to ask her out?”

Bucky’s immediate answer was yes. He wanted to do that. It was a good idea. He thought he might even manage to go somewhere. Except-

Except the thing that lived in his chest. The one with the claws that liked to tell him he was worthless and terrible and dangerous. The one he’d been managing to ignore pretty successfully for weeks. It had a vice grip on his heart. It reminded him, in its slimy hissing voice, about how he’d thought he’d broken Nora’s wrist. About how her fear had felt when he thought it belonged to him. He remembered all the things he had broken without ever meaning to.

He could ask Nora on a date. He thought, after her pretty blush at his compliment, that she might even say yes. But what if she did, the thing whispered, and then he broke her for real? What if he hurt her? What if her fear belonged to him forever? It was Bucky’s turn to make a terrible noise.

“What’s the problem, Buck?” Steve asked, his smile slipping away into concern.

He thought he had been doing well so far, but the problem got stuck. It snagged like a burr, catching all its little hooks on the inside of his throat and refusing to budge. He tried again and the words came out strangled, then stuck again, “What if I-“

Steve seemed to understand. He looked sad, “Bucky you don’t think you’d hurt her?”

Sam frowned at him, but didn’t say anything for a minute. Sam knew about all the times Bucky had broken something by accident. The thing in his chest flexed, claws sinking a little bit deeper, “You break a lot of furniture Buck.” He said finally, “But you haven’t hurt any of us. I’m not saying it’s impossible, but do you really think you would?”

Bucky forced himself to think about it. To seriously consider it past the aching in his chest. It always happened when he was holding something in his left hand. He couldn’t feel it well and he struggled sometimes to judge the pressure he was using. If he got upset and forgot what he was holding, he would grip a little too tight. He’d thought once he didn’t know how he could forget he was holding onto Nora, that was still true, but he had also never broken anything by accident with his right hand. Maybe it was that simple. Slowly, because he thought he might be out of words, he shook his head.

“Nora said-“ Clint started from his seat in the middle of the sparring ring. He paused and winced a little, like he was sure he was going to blow something up with the information, “She complained about our communication. With the elevator thing and then the lab,” he waved his hands to mime an explosion, “I think if you’re worried about asking her out because you don’t want to hurt her, she’d probably want to hear about it.”

That was a good idea, Bucky thought. Nora deserved to know that he was worried about hurting her. She deserved to know it wasn’t impossible that he lose track of himself. He just wasn’t quite sure how to tell her when he wanted so desperately for her to keep looking at him the same way she always did.

He thought of her blush. Maybe not quite the same way.