this rodeo clown wouldn’t know a flapjack from a flyswatter!

Moon Knight (TV 2022) Deadpool (Movieverse)
M/M
G
this rodeo clown wouldn’t know a flapjack from a flyswatter!
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Chapter 1

Wade let out a loud sigh of relief as he stepped through the front door of his apartment, kicking the door shut behind him and taking a seat on the sofa, his legs extending before him onto the coffee table as he heard his phone make the familiar ping of a text message and he groaned, rolling his head back against the fabric of the sofa and stifling a yawn.

He took out his phone and unlocked it, navigating his way to his texts and seeing it was from Steven.

“Hey.. you around mate?”

He pondered not replying for a moment, before realising he couldn’t ignore him - not Steven. He’d known him for a few years now and he was a.. complicated soul? He knew Marc too, of course, and had heard all about Jake but still had yet to meet him. He was kinda glad he didn’t, cos he sounded like a prick. Marc was fine, he wasn’t really one for Wade’s sense of humour, however. Steven loved it - he was precious to Wade. He cared for and looked out for him, even though he was more than capable of looking after himself, he just sort of had a “save me” aura about him that was hard to ignore.

Pushing his thumbs to the keypad, Wade replied quickly - “I am home, and dinners on the way!” he hit send and then opened up the app for delivery on the nearest Chinese takeout place and made a quick order, dashing things into the basket and not really caring what or how much of what. He was famished.

He ordered the food and leaned his head back on the sofa again, his phone falling flat on his chest as he fell asleep briefly. A loud knock at the door startled him awake and he realised he’d fallen asleep in his suit and pulled the mask up his face halfway before wiping the drool away from his mouth that had fallen out in his quick snooze. Opening the door he saw Steven, takeout bags in hand and a smile on his face.

“Hiya!” He greeted, pushing past Wade gently and into the apartment, setting the bags down on the coffee table and heading to the kitchen to grab two plates and some forks. Returning, he set them down and began digging into the plastic bags, taking out containers and setting them on the table in front of him.

Wade shut the door and sat beside him, still fuzzy from waking up and he shook his head, scratching at it gently as he looked at Steven with a bewildered expression.

“How did you get the food?”

“I saw the driver downstairs and he’s seen me here enough times to realise I was coming up here anyway so he gave it to me,” he shrugged lightly, chomping down on a spring roll as he looked at Wade, “and how was your day? You look shattered, mate..”

“Yeah, ya could say that. It’s been a long one, that’s for sure..” he plopped down next to Steven, his hand reaching for a box of noodles and stabbing his fork into the steaming mix, twirling up a forkful and slurping the noodles down hastily.

The two of them ate, realising Wade had ordered not one, not two, but five portions of sweet and sour chicken so I guess they were having that for supper too probably. Steven set about placing the leftovers in the fridge once the two of them were done and cleared the coffee table away, letting Wade relax as it was his apartment after all and he had come to spoil his evening with his own thoughts and feelings.

Steven was… different to most men. He was sensitive and gentle. Wade loved to nickname him “his precious” and Marc was “naughty boy” which was just a joke, and Wade always said it with such a dramatic flair.

Wade removed his mask from his head finally and stood up to wander into the bedroom, undressing and throwing on some comfies. He shrugged into a loose fitting hoodie and shuffled back towards the kitchen, grabbing a beer and sitting down on the sofa again, flicking the tv on.

“So what’s on your mind, buttercup?” He took a swig of the beer, focusing on the tv but waiting for Steven to begin talking.

“Well..” Steven began, nervously fiddling with his zipper of his jacket and looking down at his lap, “I guess.. I was just feeling a bit lonely. I’ve been thinking a lot and that just doesn’t always do me a whole load of good really..”

Wade glanced over at Steven, taking in his sad demeanour and shaking his head softly, “Tomorrow’s always a better day, Steven. You don’t have to feel lonely tonight, anyway. You can crash here and we can watch shitty movies all night!” He held the mouth of the beer bottle between his teeth and clapped his hands like a seal waiting for a sardine.

Steven laughed gently at the show, his mouth curving up into a one-sided smile and finally shrugging out his jacket as Wade mentioned he could stay the night and he folded it over the back of the sofa before relaxing somewhat into the corner, his hand twiddling with his curls anxiously as he watched the tv.

“You ok?” Wade asked, finishing off the beer and frowning at the other man, his hand reaching out to push his upper arm gently to elicit a response.

“Yeah, just thinking. It’s all I ever do! I just feel off is all,”

“Have you tried feeling on?” Wade inquired innocently, hiding his smile.

Steven let out a fake laugh, shrugging and folding his arms before standing up and making his way over to Wade’s extensive DVD collection lining the wall opposite the tv. He let his index finger pass over a few of them before tilting his head to read them better.

Wade stayed quiet, allowing Steven the chance to pick a movie and not overwhelm him too much with his responses - sometimes people just need to vent and Wade knew that - as overbearing as he could be at times.

Selecting a movie, he brought it back and popped it into the dvd player and hit play - suddenly the title screen for Night at The Museum loaded up and Wade let out a chuckle. Of course he’d chosen that.

A few hours had passed and they were already onto Night at The Museum 2 and Steven was happily halfway through a pint of ice cream with some of it smeared around his mouth - the clearest indicator that something was delicious. Wade was tucked up onto the sofa with his legs crossed beside him and his head on a cushion as he watched the movie, laughing outrageously loudly at certain parts and jerking his leg out uncontrollably as he did so, kicking Steven a couple of times.

“Oi!” He’d grumbled at him the fourth time it had occurred and shoved Wade’s legs down off the sofa and onto the floor.

Wade snickered and sat up a bit, his head dipping to the back of the sofa once again and murmured a “sorry my precious” in response before his eyes had fallen shut completely and he was letting out soft snores from his mouth that lay agape.

Steven carried on watching the movie and once it was over he tried to rouse Wade, calling out all sorts of things such as “say what if you’re a doughnut”, “last one to speak gets to wash the dishes” and the final attempt, “free lapdances!” before realising he was fully conked out.

He prodded Wade’s upper arm gently and letting out a soft sigh, he clicked the tv off and stood up to gather a blanket from the basket in the corner of the room and draped it over Wade, then sat beside him on the sofa, pulling his phone out to play on one of his numerous phone games that kept him occupied and his mind focused on something.

Slowly, he drifted off to sleep on the sofa beside Wade, listening to his gentle snores fill the room and the sound of his even breathing.

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