this rodeo clown wouldn’t know a flapjack from a flyswatter!

Moon Knight (TV 2022) Deadpool (Movieverse)
M/M
G
this rodeo clown wouldn’t know a flapjack from a flyswatter!
All Chapters Forward

come on and take it back

                            Slumped into the couch now

                          Tell me what am I to do?

I don't know a thing man

I think my brain is made of glue

 

 

 

— 

 

 

When his eyes snapped to, Marc’s body jerked as he launched himself forwards out of his seat in the sofa. Where was he? Looking to his right he saw Wade, eyes shut and snoozing on the sofa beside where he’d been sat. What… the…?

 

“Wade!” He spoke, clearing his throat afterwards and realising how croaky he sounded.

 

“Fuck sake, WADE!” He kicked the bottom of the sofa hard and it moved back slightly across the hardwood flooring, making a screech.

 

Wade’s eyes flew open and his hands came up to defensively protect himself as he looked at Marc confusedly, then blinking down at the blanket draped over him. Pulling it back and stretching his arms out, he stood up and booped Marc on the nose.

 

“Why’d you have to show up and spoil everything?” He teased, gazing at him steadily as Marc ran his hand through his own curls, tousling them up and frowning at Wade.

 

“What have you two been doing?” He spoke, a tinge of jealousy to his tone which didn’t go unnoticed by the other man in the way he put emphasis on the ‘you two’ part.

 

“We had a cozy night in with some takeout, what’s it to you, Mr. Serious? He’s having a fucking hard time as usual and you ain’t willing to help him out so maybe just let him have the light a bit more, eh?”

 

“Sounds like you’re sweet on him,” Marc breathed out, his eyes furiously staring into Wade’s own. He liked Wade, he was familiar to him with his sense of self.

 

“Sounds like you’re jealous, Marc. There’s no need, really. I mean come on, we’re hardly married! We fuck sometimes - what’s your point? Steven is my friend and you’re my fuck. Is that so hard to understand?” He strolled off to the cabinet on the other side of the room and opened it up, rifling through some boxes stuffed in there and tossing random things out behind him onto the floor.

 

Marc just stood where he was, looking down at himself and the outfit that Steven had adorned the day before. He scoffed and folded his arms, watching the other man rambling about in the cabinet.

 

“What are you-“

 

“It’s almost October! I need to decorate!” Wade spoke quickly, then pulling out a large skeleton decoration to be hung in the window, “Do me a favour and put this up, doll?” he asked sweetly, standing up straight to pass the skeleton along to Marc over the sofa, his fingertips brushing along the back of Marc’s hand as he did so.

 

Marc took the silly skeleton and looked at it, his brow knitting together in an annoyed frown, “Dunno why you like this stuff so much.”

 

“Why not? Also I can see that look on your face - if you’re gonna be grumpy all day you can just go home. Don’t kill my vibe!” Wade held his hands up, feigning being shot - the vibe dying of course.

 

Marc let out a snicker and shook his head.

 

“I’m good. You know me - takes me a minute or two to wake up. My bad.” He affixed the skeleton decoration to the little plastic hooks in the window that stayed there all year round for when Wade decorated for every potential occasion.

 

“Ta-da!” Marc spoke, turning to see Wade pulling out an array of pumpkin string lights and ghost style tinsel to be hung around the doorframes. He set to work placing things delicately to the walls and let Marc watch as he was extremely particular about the placement of his holiday decorations.

 

When he was finally finished, he placed a couple of small figurines in front of the tv - a bat, a pumpkin, a werewolf, a witch and a moon. The moon was from a prior werewolf decoration that had been damaged a few years ago, however Wade held onto the little moon for.. reasons.

 

Seeing it, Marc half smiled, punching Wade playfully on the shoulder as he mumbled, “Looks good in here.” He wandered off into the kitchen and grabbed a water from the fridge and chugged it down before shouting back to the other room, “You mind if I shower? I need to get out of these Steven clothes..”

 

“Knock yourself out,” Wade called back, enthralled by a piece of paper he’d seen that had fallen out of the cabinet that contained some crayon scribblings from a while back. He shoved it back into the box and closed the cabinet door, huffing.

 

Making his way over to the window he peered out and stood with his hands behind his back, deep in thought as he waited for Marc to emerge from the shower, and emerge he did.

 

Stepping into the living room in nothing more than a towel wrapped around his waist and with damp hair, Wade gulped as he turned around to greet him again and took in the sight before him.

 

“I didn’t jerk off in the shower.”

 

“More for me.” Wade smiled innocently, moving over to Marc and sliding his forearms around his middle, just under his arms and splayed his hands across his back. “I knew you’d be like this today from the way you woke me up. You know I like it.” He smirked at Marc, pressing his fingertips into the soft bare flesh of his back gently.

 

“Like what?” He narrowed his eyes, but then forgot every thought in his head when Wade brought his knee forwards, pushing it between Marc’s thighs between the towel and letting it stay there as he essentially propped Marc up slightly. They were the same height but in this case Wade had to stoop a little in order to achieve the correct angle of his thigh to brush against Marc teasingly.

 

Marc gazed over Wade’s shoulder and at the window, seeing his reflection and then as quick as his eyes had met the glass he’d switched again.

 

 

Steven suddenly gasped loudly, pushing himself away from Wade as Wade confusedly stared at him.

 

“Oh bloody hell what’s happening? Are you and Marc.. are you? Oh bloody hell!” He repeated, embarrassed and then dashing off to the bathroom to gather his clothes and put them on.

 

Wade rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, chewing on the inside of his lip as he waited for Steven to emerge.

 

“Steven, sorry.” He spoke gently, holding his hands up in apology as he walked over to him when he appeared in the doorway, dressed and distressed.

 

He was playing with his hands nervously as Wade stepped closer, his hand laying flat on Steven’s chest as he spoke, “Marc and I have a.. complicated thing going on. But I can assure you that you are nothing more than my friend and I love you Steven, I wouldn’t ever ruin our friendship and if you want me to stop then I’ll stop it with Marc, just say the word.” He smiled softly, the corners of his mouth arching.

 

Steven let out a quiet huff of contentment and met Wade’s gaze as he patted his arm that was still extended as his hand was pressed to Steven’s now clothed chest. Wade dropped his hand and nodded at him, meaning his words.

 

“Um, I mean, it’s whatever really mate.. I’m not that fussed. It was just a bit weird coming to at that particular moment. No wonder my jaw hurts some mornings, it all makes sense now..” he laughed, joking with Wade to make him feel more at ease and the corners of his eyes crinkled.

 

Wade gasped at him, covering his mouth as he let out a laugh and shook his head, “You’re silly, little precious one. Anyway, did you see I decorated in your absence?” He gestured to the room and flicked a bit of the ghost tinsel that was hung around the doorway.

 

Eyes roaming the room, Steven’s finally landed on the moon statue in front of the tv and smiled at it, going over to pick it up and look at it closer.

 

“I like it, but, what even is this from?” He chuckled, rolling it over in his hand and seeing the little sticker affixed to the bottom of it stating “WerewolfMoon”

 

“It did have another part to it but got broken. It’s always the moon for werewolves though and never Moon Knight.” He pouted, feigning upset as he cracked his knuckles before speaking again, “So, wanna get some lunch? I’m glad you seem to be feeling somewhat better than yesterday,”

 

“Yeah, I do. Let’s get pizza.” Steven nodded and placed the moon back down, heading to the door and beckoning Wade to come with.

 

“One sec!” Wade murmured, running off to the bedroom to grab something and coming back with his game tokens for the machine at the pizza joint. Couldn’t forget those. He was definitely gonna whoop Steven’s ass this time.

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