outrageous

"Peter! Peter!" Debbie continued to poke Peter, who was sound asleep. "Peter! I have to go home! Tina is going to kill me!" She grabbed the boy by the shoulders and shook him wildly. "PETER!"

Peter cried out as he woke up in a panic. "WHAT? What? Who?" He opened his eyes and greeted Debbie with a smile on his face. "Good morning, baby."

"Peter! It's 6:30. Mr. Stark doesn't know I came here last night. Besides, if I don't make it home in time, Tina…"

Peter grabbed the girl by the waist and gently pulled her onto him. "I'll drive you. I haven't been to a Gallagher family reunion in a long time."

Debbie calmed down. "Seriously?"

"Visiting my girlfriend's family always makes me happy." Valentina was Peter's biggest fan, a smart and nice kid. Debbie's previous choices in men nearly caused her to have a heart attack. Her previous lover before Peter was Billy Maximoff, the nephew of the neighborhood drug lord Pietro Maximoff. Debbie was thirteen at the beginning of this terrible two-year relationship, and when he came to Valentina and asked for birth control pills, the girl's first move was, of course, to go and knock on their door. Wanda, the boy's mother, said she was overreacting. She had given birth to twin boys when she was fourteen, so what was the big deal? Her strange husband, Vision, had come to the door and apologized. He was a gentleman, polite, and very calm. The entire neighborhood, including Valentina, was surprised how such a man had survived in the Maximoff family. And he was a lawyer! He was probably the only person in this slum with a real-world profession.

Peter started to kiss Debbie as she lay on top of him when she stopped him. "Wait, I didn't calculate my calendar! If I get pregnant, Valentina will kill us both!"

The boy whined. "I don't like this calendar thing at all. Can't we use a condom?"

"But I love the feeling of you, Peter," Debbie whispered as she placed several kisses on Peter's neck that drove him crazy.

"Oh my God! Debbie!"

Debbie giggled. She finished the math in her head. "Okay. We can do it."

Peter swallowed hard as he watched Debbie, sitting on his

stomach, take off her shirt. "When do you think we can switch to birth control?"

"The last time I suggested something like this to Valentina, she was about to set Billy's family's house on fire! She would come over here and set Tony on fire. Do you want to watch that?"

Peter seemed to be hypnotized as he moved his hands to her breasts. "I'm a horny teenager in love. I don't care if the world goes down as long as I can have sex with you."

The girl giggled and began to move her hands over him with a slowness that drove Peter crazy.

At the same time, Tony, unaware of the risky morning sex between the two horny teenagers in his house, was rolling his eyes at Pepper, who was having coffee with him in the kitchen. "You should spend more time with him," she said. "I know it's been a year since we lost May, but still…"

Tony, who had to adopt Peter after Aunt May's tragic death, wasn't the most loving father in the world. He was annoyed that the boy kept calling him sir. He was also annoyed when he said Tony. But calling him dad! God, he could kill this kid one day.

"Debbie takes care of him instead of me. They eat and study together all the time. Maybe I should adopt that girl too? The two of them play together? And I can get out of your grip?"

Pepper spat out her coffee. “Are you out of your mind? Are you telling me you just left them alone without supervision?” She slapped his shoulder and lowered her voice in horror. “Peter asked me about the birth control pill the other day! How do you get it, is it possible to get it without going to the doctor?”

Tony shrugged. “He’s a robotics intern at Stark Industries. I refuse to believe my adopted child is that stupid. He must know how to deal with birth control."

“Tony! Talk to him!”

Tony squealed. “No way! I can’t give sex education to a sixteen-year-old! I don’t even have a full education about sex! It is a complicated activity even for me!”

The woman took a deep breath. “You’re thirty-eight! How… Oh my God! Talk to him or I won’t lift a finger if Debbie’s family comes to you crying with a pregnancy test result.”

“What am I supposed to say?” Tony protested. “Debbie’s not his first girlfriend, he’s learned something by now…” he thought. Debbie was definitely Peter’s first girlfriend. “Worst case scenario, I’ll be a grandfather at thirty-eight?”

“Peter would be a father at sixteen! Are you crazy? I can’t believe we’re even discussing this! I said you’re going to talk!”

The man rolled his eyes. “Oh my God! Okay!”

Pepper looked at her watch. “Peter said to wake him up at seven.” She got up from the table.

Tony stopped her. “Wait, you’ve given me enough guilt to go upstairs and check on my idiot son.”

Pepper joined Tony as he left the kitchen and headed up the stairs to Peter’s room. The woman shrugged at the man who sneered at her. “I want to make sure you’re being nice enough to Peter!”

“Okay, Mama Bear.”

When they arrived in front of Peter's room, Tony quickly opened the door to torment Peter who never woke up in the mornings and while he was hoping to burst into the room, he screamed and closed his eyes when he saw Debbie in her underwear, having sex with Peter. Her one hand was over Peter's mouth and her head was thrown back with pleasure. Peter was holding the girl by her waist. Debbie, in a panic, slid off of Peter and onto the bed, next to him, while Pepper stared at the teens with her jaw agape. Peter was already stuttering, "Mr. S…tark…Sir…I can explain."

* * *

"Lip! Ian! Debbie! Liam! BREAKFAST!"

Valentina denied the burning smell of the last pancake in the pan and turned it off after she plated it.

Lip cursed as he stumbled down the stairs. "Fuck Tina! It's Sunday! What's wrong with you?"

"The first day of school tomorrow. I thought you'd at least make an effort in the last twenty-four hours to change your sleep schedule."

"You thought wrong." Lip, who had eagerly and unknowingly scooped the burnt top pancake into his mouth, grimaced as he tasted it. He opened his mouth to spit the wet bits back onto the other pancakes, when Tina arrived in time and pressed the hot spatula to his lips. Lip desperately backed away from the plate and pushed his sister away. "Fucking psycho!"

Tina shrugged. "I told you not to eat like a pig! You're licking Karen Jackson with that mouth. I'm pretty sure you have an STD. I can't let you get us sick! The girl has like a hundred husbands!"

"Karen is a sex addict!" Lip protested before taking frozen peas from the fridge and placing them on his lips. "Unlike you, she's accepted it and is getting treatment! You keep bringing random guys home every day!" Before Tina could attack him again, he left through the back kitchen door.

Ian came down the stairs with Liam in his arms, sat the boy down at the table, and went to the coffee machine to make coffee. "Did he go to Karen again?"

Valentina huffed. "I don't know what he sees in that skunk! Didn't he go to the doctor because he caught gonorrhea just last week?" The girl breathed as she ran a hand through her hair. She went to sit next to Liam. "Good morning, baby."

Liam smiled admiringly at his sister "Debbie went to that rich boy's house again. He told me he would bring me candy if I didn't tell you, but I won't hide anything from you Tina."

Tina wrapped her arms around the boy and kissed his hair "My smart boy." She turned to Ian "This is the performance I expect from all of you for Debbie! If Debbie gets pregnant or goes and marries one of those drug lords, I will burn you all down, except for Liam. He always brings me good intelligence, yeah, baby. Yeah." She left a few more kisses on her brother's hair in quick succession. Liam was giggling in happiness. When the doorbell rang, Ian said "I'll get it." and went to open the door. Debbie, who had her head bowed, was accompanied by a middle-aged man in a suit and sunglasses and the girl's boyfriend, whom Lip and Ian called "the sissy boy".

"Debbie?"

When the girl shouldered him through the door, Ian wanted to close the door but Tony stopped him "Can I talk to one of Debbie's parents?"

"I'm her brother, what happened?"

"A legal guardian?"

"I said I'm his brother!"

"Someone over eighteen?"

Ian got angry and shouted inside "Valentina!" He left the door open and went into the house.

"You wait in the car, Peter," Tony said but when Peter stayed where he was, he didn't insist. Valentina came out the door right after Ian, with her messy hair and a worn-out old

t-shirt and cropped shorts. "Peter! How's my favorite extra family member, huh?" The girl hugged Peter as Tony pulled them apart with a fake cough. "Honey, if I were you, I'd wait a little while before hugging this rapist."

Peter growled. "Oh my god! Don't call me that!"

Valentina stopped hugging the boy and looked at the man who still hadn't bothered to take off his sunglasses. "Excuse me, honey?" she said in a voice that mimicked the man's. "Do we know each other?"

"Tina, this is my adoptive father. Tony Stark," Peter said. "And this is Valentina. Debbie's sister. She's awesome."

Tony grinned, holding back a sly comment about how cute and kissable the girl looked. “I bet you anything she’s amazing.” He held out his hand for her to shake.

The girl crossed her arms over her chest, ignoring Tony's flirtation, but she had to admit that he was impressive. "We don't shake hands around here, Mr. Stark. What do we owe this visit to?"

He doesn't know who I am, Tony thought. Peter was a little annoyed that the imbecile hadn't announced to the world that his father was Iron Man.

"We did something," Peter said sheepishly. "My father thinks I should apologize."

Valentina's heart skipped a beat. God! She was surprised that Debbie had even stood that long without climbing on top of him. She pitied Peter, who was crushed and cowering in front of her.

"Debbie slammed the door in my face. If you can go up and check on her for me, I'll forgive you for whatever you did, Peter," she said. "Let the grown-ups talk about this. Okay?"

The boy looked at Valentina with grateful eyes and ran inside, holding himself back from yelling at his father, "See, she is cool! She is not like you."

Valentina took a step back and waved her hand inside. “Here you go, Mr. Stark. Have some burnt pancakes and cheap, crappy coffee while you explain what the hell our kids were doing.”

Tony took off his sunglasses as he entered the house and grinned to himself. He liked Valentina. She was also trying to figure out why she found Tony so attractive.