She's impatient, and I'm complacent
Misty would have been frozen in place if you had informed her two years ago that she would be moving to New York City with her best friend Crystal - assuming you could even hold her attention beyond the phrase "best friend".
It didn't feel real. She felt both excitement and existential dread. This all felt like something she did not even come close to deserving. But it's not like she could stay away either.
Every moment with Crystal made her feel like a little girl again, only this time around she was content and a bit more confident. The feeling in itself was captivating if not addicting.
It was the same way back in the wilderness too. It was crazy to think how they were surrounded by so much darkness and were able to form light within each other by just being in the same room. The energy that shifted between them held no bounds and by some miracle of means they were able to communicate without even saying a word. Misty and Crystal's friendship was magical.
It wasn't always as peaceful as she let on, to Misty's regret. She isn't known to be the best with boundaries, never quite was. Crystal sometimes felt suffocated around her when they were stranded, she could tell, but usually she was able to match her energy.
She just had a way of noticing the little things about the dark haired woman. Misty could do that with anyone, but their bond just had a certain strength, one that's inexplainable.
Whenever they were together it was like they were the only people who truly mattered out of everyone else in the world. It felt unique and special. Whatever pain they had, they shared, and when things got to be too much, it would all disappear with the touch of a hand. Misty was mesmerized at how she managed to befriend someone on her same wavelength.
Well, close enough, It was as good as it was going to get, she was satisfied with that.
On the contrary, no matter how much they seemed to be in tune with each other, Misty’s drive came from self hatred, and Crystals came from pure unadulterated hope. Misty had no choice but to cling to that and do her best to stick with it.
Crystal had these dreams that were larger than life, and Misty was this poison that drenched everything she touched. Somehow Crystal built up an immunity. How could she ever let her go? Crystal was stuck with her, whether she liked it or not.
Signing a lease made sure of that.
Together they stood side by side in their brand new apartment. Tragically furnished and shabby, but it was theirs. Misty looked around the small space with heavy disappointment. It no where close to what she had expected, but it was something.
Her and Crystal were in this together in this. It was wise to look on the bright side.
She turned to Crystal, who was smiling at her with that infectious optimism that Misty loved so much. She never failed to amaze her. Somehow she could see the beauty in everything, even in the run-down apartment they were standing in. Misty was in awe.
She envied her friend's naivety. She thought of how different things would be for her if she even had a fraction of that. Misty had this parasitic positivity, infecting everything in its wake, even herself. It was good for nothing.
As they started to unpack what little they had, Misty felt both unburdened and misplaced. She no longer had to worry about her parents' carelessness or the constant feeling of loneliness the Jersey small town thrust upon her, but it was strange being here alone with Crystal.
Especially since their apartment was a studio with only one bed.
The place may or may not bring their relationship to a new level, and she wasn't sure if she was ready for it, but she could feel it for certain.
She didn't want to risk losing Crystal’s friendship by accidentally spilling her true feelings, she had a tendency to lose control over her own mouth.
Of course, she was walking a thin line. One misstep, and everything could come crashing down. But she also knew that with Crystal by her side, she was capable of anything. She made her feel like a god. She wanted to make Crystal feel like a god too. It was the least she could do after all that Crystal had done for her.
Crystal was the one to bring up the idea of moving to the city together. Before the plane crashed Misty had her sight set on a community college nursing degree. But Crystal showed her the potential she had.
There were so many things she didn't know about herself until she met her. In retrospect, when your days are spent having words like ugly, untalented, useless, and freak thrown at you, its not too long before you eventually start to believe it.
Now she was a student of NYU, and she was majoring in acting, as was Crystal. She had given Misty the benefit of the doubt, grew faith in her, and now she had faith in herself.
Was this happiness? Could this be what it felt like to not hate yourself?
Misty couldn't believe she’d made it this far. From being stuck in the wilderness, depending on others to depend on her like some reflective drug - to standing in this new home she was going to make with her best friend, pursuing their dreams. It was almost too good to be true.
While putting away their clothes, Crystal hummed a show tune they both cherished, and upon glancing over, Misty caught her eye. A blinding light, she was her star, and Crystal was her lighthouse, always guiding Misty towards the right path. Without her, Misty would be lost.
She’d be empty, ruining people just to fill that void. Exactly how she used to.
Crystal made everything seem easy. Misty knew that acting wasn't as simple as it seemed, but Crystal never let that discourage her. She always approached her craft with a sense of fearlessness that Misty could only dream of.
Misty used to dream of that confidence. To be able to walk into a room and immediately feel like she belonged. To not second-guess herself at any given moment. Crystal made it look so easy, but Misty knew that it was anything but.
Still, Misty was determined to follow through. She would work as hard as she could and take any necessary risk, even if it meant facing her fears head-first. She owed that much to herself, and to Crystal.
This was where she was meant to be. In this shabby little apartment with her best friend, chasing their dreams together. She looked out the window and saw the city’s buildings and busy streets. It was like a beacon, calling out to her, promising endless possibilities. Misty felt untouchable.
She turned to Crystal and smiled. "We're really doing it, aren't we?"
Crystal grinned back at her. "Looks like it."
__
Crystal had to find a job to live freely in the city, which ironically meant that she wasn't completely free. Capitalism was an inescapable curse, but the excitement of independence was liberating, especially after leaving behind her small town
She dreamt big. She was always a dreamer, but it's not like you can get rid of such a prominent part of yourself so easily.
For so long she had been clinging onto her youth, that branch eventually had to snap. Surely her sixteen year old self was terrified, but now she finally found a friend. A best friend.
She convinced Misty to come with her, but she couldn't shake off the selfishness and guilt. If the two girls never crossed paths, their lives would have been undoubtedly different than they are now.
Misty had small plans of becoming a nurse, unlikely to ever leave Wistayok. Crystal couldn't even imagine that life for herself.
She never would have been able to move to New York without Misty. Never. She would have been too damn scared.
Crystal didn”t like visiting that place in her mind, so she rarely did. Whenever those dark thoughts surfaced, she just replaced it with something else. Less realistic thoughts.
Her job didn't pay well, but it was a start. Misty was also looking for a job, or she said she was at least, it wasn't the ideal financial situation, but they'd do just fine. They had to. This barista gig wasn't that bad. She sometimes didn't know how to act around food ever since they were rescued but she's been chill about it. As much as she could be anyways.
There was a part of her that wanted to collect every single edible menu item and hoard it in a safe corner, but she pushed ideas like that away. It was easier living with her friend to help mediate those habits, but she couldn't live on that dependency.
No matter how much Misty wanted her too.
See, she knew Misty better than anyone on this doomed planet, she was aware of that part of her. She always thought Misty was the same even before the plane crashed, but she didn't want to face the repercussions of asking, not yet at least.
She was going to make the best out of what she had. She was grateful. This was her chance to prove herself.
And she cared so deeply for Misty, Crystal could tell that the longer the blonde spent around her the more possessive she got, which was fine, she could deal with that, in fact she actually found it endearing.
Point is, she knew her best friend, and she could deal with her, but when you added others into the equation she had less control. Especially if she wasn’t around as much.
Whatever, she could handle it.
New York City was insane. Everyday was an experience, but also brought forth challenges she had never faced before moving here. On the plus side, Crystal was constantly learning new things, and she loved learning new things.
This was her life now. It was surreal.
If only her parents could see her now. They were semi-supportive, but it wasn’t like they wouldn’t have been more proud if she chose the predictable law school path. How boring was that?
Still she was thankful, even more so when she found out how Misty’s parents won’t even talk to her anymore. Though she doesn’t know that Crystal also knows about this, and she hopes to keep it that way.
Crystal told herself this was exactly where she was meant to be. There were thousands of other people selling their soul for an acting degree, but this was something she deserved, and she was going to let everyone know.
The sun was setting, her shift was thankfully coming to an end. Not many customers were coming in so she watched people pass by through the window, thinking about how much she had changed. It was almost as if she was a completely different person now. The freakishly timid girl who had yet to find her voice was gone. She was born anew.
But even as she reveled in the glory, she couldn't help but wonder what the future held. Would all it be for nothing, so much was at risk, she couldn't even calculate the outcome.
Success was a long shot. But she had high hopes. She wasn't going to let anything or anyone pull her down. She was gonna shine so bright that she burned.
Crystal found it hard to do most things. Whenever she wasn’t around Misty, she was all she thought about. The way she laughed, the way she beamed, and the sound of her voice, all of it was soothing.
Crystal could say with her full chest that she never slept more peacefully than when she slept beside Misty. It also got cold at night, and their heat system was shitty.
She felt a strange nostalgia from the wilderness, they hadn’t slept beside each other then, but whenever they’d go outside they would huddle close to one another. So close they could literally feel each other's breath, it felt nice to be this close again.
It wasn’t the same when they were rescued and went back to living in their own houses. They would jump at any opportunity to hang out or have sleepovers and when that wasn’t possible they would spend every moment on the phone together.
Something must be in the city air, because things certainly have shifted, and Crystal can’t exactly place what it is, but whatever it may be, it felt nice.
The end of her shift rolled around. On her walk home she enjoyed the evening and just let herself take everything in for a moment of realization.
Every breath of air was like a jolt of electricity. She wore headphones over her head, playing Cyndi Lauper on her Walkman. She was home. This was happening, it has happened, and it felt fucking amazing.
She found her place within the beauty of chaos, she no longer needed to sleep in order to dream.
The cafe wasn't too far from their studio so she arrived home within fifteen minutes. Misty sat on the floor, probably analyzing her class schedule in order to prepare herself. She liked to stay ahead with things like this.
Crystal smiled warmly as she proceeded to enter, sitting her bag down on the wooden table, then dramatically falling backwards onto the bed.
“How was work?” Misty questioned enthusiastically,
“I’m so sore.” Crystal deadpanned, leading Misty to laugh sardonically at her friend.
“How was job hunting?” She added, simultaneously stretching her limbs before sitting up to properly engage in conversation.
“Oh! I applied to be a busser at Rita’s Diner! Speaking of, we should probably buy a phone.”
“Yeah, Cal has been up my butt about that, I'll stop and get one tomorrow.” Crystal agreed.
Cal was her manager, he had poor hygiene and an odd vocabulary, she didn't know what to think about him. He had hired her instantly. Crystal was unsure why, but she was in no place to question it.
Misty toyed with the seams of her knit lilac sweater, “I should have brought my phone from back home, no one ever called me unless it was to harass me, so it's basically brand new..”
“Nah, It’s fine, we don't need it corrupting our energy.” She giggled while taking off her shoes and jacket. Misty smiled timidly, still showing a hint of vibrancy. How that was even possible was beyond her comprehension.
Crystal wanted to tell her that, she really did, but wound up swallowing those words, and instead throwing her shoes to the other side of the room resulting in a loud bang, causing them both freeze before erupting into a fit of childlike laughter.
Misty got up from the floor and made her way towards the kitchenette to make some Kool-Aid. Crystal was happy to watch from afar, patiently waiting as she moved around with natural grace.
She wanted nothing more than to walk up behind her and wrap her arms around the blonde. There was a longing on the cusp of her breath, it made her neck burn with anxiety and her shoulder tense. It was suffocating. Crystal hadn't the slightest clue on what to make of it. Leave it up to Misty Quigley to keep everyone in her vicinity utterly perplexed.
As Misty filled the jug with water, Crystal went to their dresser to change into her pajamas. It was oddly domestic. She was in no way opposed to that, she could easily get used to it. They have grown so close they didn't mind changing clothes in front of each other, that's what best friends do right?
At least, Crystal paid it no mind, she wasn't sure about Misty. The blonde always had her front turned while undressing so she was unable to get a good read on it. She had to feel at least some sort of comfort to do it though right? Otherwise she’d just get dressed in the bathroom.
Misty finished up with making the drink and poured them both a glass. Crystal accepted gratefully and moved to sit at the table. “So what's going on with your class schedule?”
Misty took a sip of her Kool-Aid before, “It’s looking pretty wicked this semester. I’ve got some really interesting classes though, like Intro to Philosophy and Poetry Writing. What about you?”
Crystal shrugged, “Just the usual core classes. It sucks, but it’s necessary I guess. I’m more focused on trying to make enough money to pay rent and bills.”
Misty nodded, understanding her perfectly, “Yeah, I get it. But don’t worry, we’ll figure it out. Maybe we can even find some gigs on campus or something.”
“Ooooh! Imagine we get casted in the same thing!” Crystal shrieked, hopeful excitement washing over her face.
“Okay, If you had to choose one play for us to get casted as leads in, what would it be?” Misty asked conversationally.
Crystal pondered for a moment before answering, “Definitely Romeo and Juliet. I know it’s basic, but it’s a classic for a reason. Plus, you put on an amazing accent.”
Misty laughed, “I can totally see that.”
There was a moment of tense silence.
“Do you really think I put on a good accent?”
“Duh, why would I lie about that?” Crystal answered, playfully shoving her friend's shoulder.
“I dont know..” The blonde spoke bashfully, feeling shy under Crystal's praise.
She covered Misty's hands with her own, “Misty Quigley! Do not doubt yourself. I’ve seen you act, trust me when I say that I know that you know exactly what you're doing.”
Misty beamed gratefully at those words, feeling the warmth of her hands hit her soul. “I'm just nervous, you know? What if I mess up?” She expressed.
“Everyone messes up, it's part of the process. Even if you do, it's not the end of the world. I will always be here to support you.” Crystal assured, getting up to embrace her friend in a hug.
Misty physically melted, leaning into her arms. Crystal pulled away, but kept her hands on Misty's shoulders,"You're going to do amazing, I just know it."
"What would I do without you?” She voiced aloud, staring deeply into Crystal's eyes, facestruck with bittersweetness, the kind you could only find on someone as woefully giddy as the curly haired girl.
Crystal was unsure how to answer that, unable to answer her own question from earlier. Where would she be without Misty? All she was able to conclude was that they had met each other for a reason. It was fate. That's all she could determine.
They began getting ready for bed. Misty took her time putting on her sleep clothes while Crystal brushed her teeth. The brunette could tell something was on her mind but left it alone.
They soon climbed into bed, both of them turning off the lights on the bedside tables on their side.
“Crystal?”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you for being my best friend.”
Crystal felt a lump form in her throat, “Thank you for being mine.”
They drifted off peacefully close to one another. With the only sounds being the city outside and their breathing, somehow, they were only able to focus on one another's breath.