Sound
Logan was hunched over, his forehead nearly touching the floor. His hands were placed over his ears and his eyes were squeezed shut. With a frown, Wade knelt down beside him and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, hoping the contact would help soothe Logan during his meltdown “It’ll be ok, peanut.”
Gently, Althea asked “can you tell us whats wrong, baby?”
“Shut up!” Logan frantically bit out, showing his teeth and letting out a vicious snarl “both of you, please just shut the fuck up!”
Taken aback, Althea found herself shocked into silence. Logan was a mean, grumpy, traumatized little asshole, but he was never rude to her. Althea placed a hand on his shoulder to steady herself as she lowered herself to the ground to sit beside him, unwilling to let his anger scare her away.
Aside from the putrid smells, and the constant hustle and bustle, the biggest reason why Logan was never able to stay in any city for too long was the constant, ear shattering, noises. Every conversation, every tiny sound, every goddamn party - he could hear it all and it was making him anxious and stressed; It was a constant and never ending sensory assault and he just wanted it to end.
“Too loud” He finally replied, shaking his head as if it would help the excess noise go away. The thought of driving his claws through his eardrums was extremely tempting, even though he knew the peace would be short lived, it would be a few blissful seconds of rest from this never ending torment.
As if reading his mind, Wade placed his hands on top of Logan’s and held firm.
“What’s too loud?” Althea asked, rubbing his back.
“Everything!” He violently flinched after a car alarm went off two blocks away.
On some level she knew what he was going through. Being blind meant her hearing was much more sensitive than most, which sometimes lead to moments where she felt extremely overwhelmed by the sheer amount of sensory bullshit that went on all around her.
From what Wade had explained, Logan’s hearing, smell and sight, was closer to that of a wolf than an actual humans. He could hear sounds as faint as a heartbeat from several rooms away and visibly recoiled from establishments that utilized the mosquito alarm. She couldn’t imagine the absolute torture that he was experiencing right now.
Althea rubbed Logan’s back “there, there, honey, it’ll be ok.”
“I’ll be right back” Wade said to Althea.
He went into the bedroom and opened the closet. On the top shelf, hidden behind some sweaters, was a box with the emblem for Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters emblazoned on the lid. Inside was a pair of noise canceling headphones. They closely resembled a pair of regular headphones, black, with yellow detailing and very minimalist and unassuming in design. They were designed and built by Forge, upon request by Wade, as a way to make trips to the grocery and malls easier for Logan.
Each side of the speakers had a barely noticeable button smack dab in the middle. Pressing it once would activate the headphones and cancel out all sound. Pressing them again would filter sound and reduce it to a level that would allow Logan to experience sound the way a regular person would and pressing it once more would turn them off.
Outside of their home, his beau turned into a non verbal, impenetrable fortress of toxic masculinity, unwilling to show any weakness or let anyone in. With the life Logan had lived, and the incredible amounts of abuse he had suffered, Wade wasn’t surprised that he was like this. With a sigh, Wade tightened his grip on the headphones and looked down at them. He hoped Logan would like them and at least consider wearing them outside the house.
With a quick stride, he returned to Logan’s side. Wade took Logan’s hands in his, lowered them and then quickly slipped the headphones on. He pressed the button and the effect was immediate. Logan stopped moving for a moment, his distress melting away, then slowly opened his eyes and sat up.
“….s'quiet” Logan murmured.
Logan then got up, and wandered toward the window. With greedy eyes he took in the sites of New York in silent awe, looking very much like a baby deer that had just been introduced to the world only moments ago.
“I can’t hear anything!” he said incredulously, after staring out the window for a few minutes.
Althea smiled and said “you’re yelling, honey.”
Careful not to startle him, Wade cautiously walked up to Logan. He tapped him on the shoulder, waited until Logan was facing him, and pressed the button, allowing him to hear once more without feeling overwhelmed.
“After your meltdown at the grocery store…I wanted to help, so I had Forge custom make these for you, peanut. Only had to threaten him just a little.”
He then said, excited as could be “it’s got two modes. One can block out all sound and the other, the one you’re using now, reduces sound so you can hear like I do. Now you can go shopping with us! Or not, I mean, if you don’t want to then you don’t have to, but I’d really like it if you did peanut, but like…no pressure. So, do you like them?” Wade asked with a smile as he fidgeted with his hands.
Logan was silent for a long moment, unsure of what to say. He wanted to tell Wade how unbelievably grateful he was for the gift; that every ounce of kindness his pack had shown him was chipping away at his walls of self hatred and shame and was teaching him that it was ok to be loved and vulnerable. But he had never been good at telling other’s how he felt.
As overwhelmed as he was, all Logan could muster was a very pathetic “yes” before he turned and walked away.
Logan walked over to Althea, took her hand, and helped her up and to the couch. He sat down beside her and said, full of remorse and embarrassment “I apologize for cussing at you, Althea. It won’t happen again.”
“Good. You know better than that, Logan.” She regarded him for a long moment with a knowing smile, and patted his hand “I’d scold you, but there’d be no point. You’re doing a fine job doing that all on your own.”
Logan let out a sigh that sounded more like a growl, and face palmed. He felt embarrassed, tired, and wanted to run into the bedroom, shut the lights off, and hide for the next sixty years.
“It’s all good, honey badger” Wade sat down, sandwiching Logan in the middle of the couch between himself and Althea “no one got hurt, and nothing was destroyed, so don’t be so hard on yourself, Lolo. As I said, it’s all - oh!”
Logan suddenly grabbed Wade and pulled him close, then rubbed his nose against Wade’s. While living with the wolf pack, Logan had learned that after a fight, the subordinates would always rub noses with the dominates as a way to say sorry and to reconcile with their pack mates.
He did this for a long moment, hoping his feelings would be conveyed, before pulling away. With his hands still on Wade’s shoulders, he nervously swallowed and waited for Wade to speak.
Wade blushed furiously then rambled “w-wow, Lolo, I love you too. That’s what that meant, right? That you love me more than you love alcohol and cigars and all the meat in the world?”
“Wade” Althea interjected.
Ignoring her, he then switched topics “You know, Lolo, I bet you could wear those to bed. Sleeping on your side might be a bit difficult but, I mean, It’d be a really good nights sleep -“
“WADE!” Althea thwacked Wade’s ankles with her cane “you’re rambling. Let the poor boy speak.”
“Poor boy” he chortled “he’s over 200, Al. He’s older than you. Though you are pretty ancient. Say, didn’t you used to sit next to Jesus in elementary school?”
“Motherfucker!” She made a move to stand, but then was stopped by Logan, who placed a gentle hand on her arm.
He cleared his throat, blushed, and said, as if admitting a deep dark secret “Can’t hear your heartbeats with em’ on. Can’t hear, can’t sleep. Makes me anxious.”
“Awwwww, Peanut! ” Wade gushed, at the same time Althea muttered “cutest shit I ever heard.”