Wade was attracted to men, and he was open about it. It wasn’t something he ever tried to hide, and when he found himself drawn to Logan, he didn’t see the point in pretending otherwise.
He’d make his little jokes, his flirty comments, and he was always a little too close to Logan, he would touch Logan’s arm, or ruffle his hair.
Most people would’ve been embarrassed by how obvious it was, but not Wade. He wore his feelings like a badge, that was just him.
Logan… was confused. He didn’t know what to think. He understood that men could be attracted to other men, just like women could love women. He knew Chuck was in love with Erik, even if they tried to keep it under wraps. They acted like it was a secret, but Logan had seen the way Chuck’s gaze softened when Erik was around. Still, they kept it hidden because it wasn’t allowed, not in Logan’s world. Loving another man was something he’d been taught to see as wrong, sinful, unnatural.
But Logan felt like something inside him was fighting it, a stubborn feeling that he couldn’t shake. He knew his care for Wade was deeper than platonic love, he just didn’t know how to care for him. How could he admit to wanting something he was told he could never have?
Logan was slumped on the couch, downing another beer, trying to drown out the questions in his head, when Wade barged in. He didn’t even knock. He never did.
“Morning, peanut. Oh, beer already?” Wades voice suddenly changed from teasing to concerned when he saw the bottle in his hand.
“Yeah.” Logan’s response was gruff. He hated the way he could hear the concern in Wade’s voice, like he was something fragile and Logan wasn't fragile
“Any specific reason, Lolo?” Wade flopped onto the couch next to him, close enough that their shoulders touched. He leaned his head on Logan’s shoulder, his familiar warmth settling making Logan feel calmer.
Wade grabbed the bottle from Logan’s hand and set it on the table.
“No.” Logan’s growl deepened, but he didn’t push Wade away. He hated how Wade just took the bottle from him, but at the same time, he felt a little relieved, he didn't need the bottle now that Wade was here.
“Come on, peanut. You’ve been acting weird all week.” Wade’s voice softened, and he leaned closer, trying to catch Logan’s eye. Logan turned his head.
“I’m fine, Wade. Drop it.” Logan’s voice was harsher than he intended, but he needed to say it. If he didn’t, he’d fall apart. And he couldn’t fall apart.
Wade didn’t listen, of course. He never did. He studied Logan, and Logan could feel his gaze, burning into him, searching for answers. He hated the way his heart ached under that stare, hated the way he could see something in Wade’s eyes that made him feel things he wasn’t ready to feel. Wade cared, and Logan knew it was more than just concern. It was love.
Wade loves him.
No, he doesn’t, you stupid fuck. That’s not allowed.
He can’t love him. He can’t, right?
Logan realized he’d been staring at Wade for too long, and a wave of sadness washed over him, heavy and cold. He looked away, his eyes finding the floor.
“I’m scared,” he whispered, barely loud enough for Wade to hear. He didn’t know why he said it. Maybe because he was tired of fighting, tired of pretending he didn’t feel anything.
Maybe because it was Wade, and Wade was the only one who made him feel safe enough to be weak.
For Wade, he could be vulnerable.
Only for Wade.
No one else.
“What’s going on, peanut?” Wade’s voice was soft, tender in a way that made Logan’s heart clench.
God, that stupid nickname made Logan’s heart burst. It wasn’t even clever, but the way Wade said it, like it was the sweetest thing in the world, made Logan’s defenses crumble.
“I’m… I’m feeling things I’m not supposed to feel.” Logan’s voice trembled, and he looked down, trying to hide the tears brimming in his eyes.
“It’s not supposed to be like this. I’m not allowed to feel this. But I do, and it hurts every moment I’m away from you, Wade. But it’s wrong.”
Logan took a shaky breath, his chest tight with fear. Wade searched his eyes, understanding what he meant. Wade was the only one who could understand him.
“It’s not wrong. I promise you it’s not wrong.” Wade’s voice cracked, and Logan looked up, startled to see that Wade was crying too.
“We can’t die, peanut. But if it’s wrong, then we’ll just spend eternity being wrong.” Wade’s words were fierce, a promise, and Logan wanted to believe them, but he didn’t know how. He looked down, his body trembling, his hands clenched so tight his knuckles were white.
“I can’t fight this, Wade. God hasn’t been kind to me, ever. What’s one more sin?” Logan’s voice was thick with pain, and every word felt like a confession, a plea for something he wasn’t sure he deserved. The weight of his words went so much deeper than just his love for Wade. It was everything.
Every wound, every scar, every moment he’d been forced to endure. His whole life had been suffering, and if God was real, then why had He let this happen? Why had He let Logan live this long, only to keep him from what he wanted most?
Wade wrapped his arms around Logan, pulling him close, and Logan didn’t resist. He let himself be held, feeling Wade’s warmth seep into him, thawing the cold that had been buried in his chest for so long.
“It’s not a sin, peanut. Love was the law, and religion was taught.” Wade’s voice was soft, but there was a strength to it, a quiet certainty that made Logan want to believe.
And that was it. That was what Logan needed to hear. He broke, and he clung to Wade, sobbing into his shoulder, letting out everything he’d been holding in for so long.
“I love you, Wade. I love you, Wade Winston Wilson. I fucking love you,” he said, his voice raw and broken, but there was a smile there, a genuine smile, the first one in a long time.
“You fucking love me or you love fucking me?” Wade’s grin was mischievous, but his eyes were soft, and Logan could see the tears there, see how much he was trying to hold it together.
“You’re an idiot, you know that.” Logan laughed through the tears, his heart feeling lighter than it had in years.
“Hey, I can be wise. That ‘love was the law’ line was pretty deep, if I do say so myself.” Wade winked, and Logan’s heart skipped a beat.
“I hate you,” Logan chuckled, but there was no heat behind the words, no anger.
“Oh, but you love me.”
“I do,” Logan said, and this time, he didn’t try to hide it. He let the words hang in the air, let them be real. He poured every ounce of love he had into them, hoping Wade would understand, even if he was terrible at showing it. Even if he was scared.
Wade leaned in, capturing Logan’s lips with his own, and Logan felt his heart leap, felt something inside him break free. He’d never felt this before, never felt love through a kiss. It wasn’t just about the way Wade’s lips moved against his; it was the way they fit together, like they were meant to, like they’d always been meant to. It felt… nice. More than that, it felt safe. It felt like home.
Wade was his home.
When they finally pulled apart, Logan opened his eyes to see Wade smiling at him, that big, goofy, beautiful smile that always made his heart race. Logan leaned his forehead against Wade’s, and for the first time, he let himself relax, let himself breathe. They didn’t say anything. They didn’t need to.
Wrapped in each other’s arms, they fell asleep like that, tangled up together on the couch, as if the world outside had finally stopped, and it was just them. It was the closest thing to peace Logan had ever felt.