But He is Human, Right?

I was only fourteen the first time I met him. Well, met isn’t the right word, far from it, saw is far better. It was brief, he was being walked back to his cell as I was walking to my room. I don’t know if we made eye contact or if that was just in my imagination; either way it was a brief interaction that I didn’t think much of. But I remember his eyes, hollow, empty, dead. I didn’t track his metal arm or his menagerie of guns, just his blank stare. There was nothing behind those eyes, absolutely nothing. I remember hoping that my eyes wouldn’t end up like that.

I didn’t see him again for another ten years. He was likely in his cryo sleep, that’s where they always kept him. I wasn’t permitted over there, not yet, I hadn’t climbed that ladder that far up yet. I was getting closer though. All the pain, all the damage, it was all worth it to get closer to the top.

”Rumlow, my office, now,” Alexander Pierce said.

I paused, mind racing. This was worse than getting sent to the principal's office in grade school. When Pierce contacted you, it was rarely a good thing. It was best to stay out of his way.

I hadn’t remembered doing anything wrong recently. I’d kept my head down when I could and only raised it when I knew it would benefit me. That’s how HYDRA worked, you kept the system in mind but you always came first. It was just like the real world, only with less lies and sugarcoating.

”Yes, sir,” I replied without hesitation. Even if your mind was racing, you had to always show a blank face.

Pierce was currently climbing the ranks in S.H.I.E.L.D, getting close to the leader Nick Fury. I was given a similar task. HYDRA trusted me enough to allow me to infiltrate S.H.I.E.L.D and that’s exactly what I did. I was working on making my way through their STRIKE force, the people in charge of S.H.I.E.L.D’s weapons. If I could control the weapons, I could control the people and with HYDRA controlling me, together we’d be able to accomplish our mission.Though, of course, together is a relative term.

But for now, STRIKE was going to have to be put on the back burner as whatever Pierce wanted now would definitely take priority.

I followed Pierce into the back. I stuck close to him, making sure no one, especially Pierce, could notice my anxious breathing. I’d learned how to hide my emotions and I was good at it too, that’s why I was trusted, because no one knew what I was feeling. I was an open book when it came to my thoughts and completely shut off with emotions. I’d even heard rumors of people saying I didn’t feel anything at all. Things would be easier if that was true.

”Take a seat, Rumlow,” Pierce ordered. He nodded his head towards a wide but short chair on the other side of his desk.

I sat. Pierce didn’t. He lingered over me, stalking me with his eagle eyes. I showed no sign of fear but also not a hint of challenge. I was a good soldier, I didn’t disobey my superiors, that’s why they trusted me. But I also didn’t back down, I was built stronger than that.

”What do you know about the Winter Soldier initiative?” he asked.

”Never heard of it,” I replied truthfully. At the time the dots between the Winter Soldier initiative and the man I saw when I was fourteen were further apart than Venus and Mars. 

“Well you’re about to, I have something I want you to see,” Pierce replied, nodding his head to the back corner of his office.

I turned to see him, the Winter Soldier. I had never been snuck up on before. I had surveyed everything in the room. All the furniture, all the windows, every exit, and especially every person, but I’d completely missed him. Needless to say, I was surprised. I tried not to show it on my face, but it had been awhile since someone had gone that undetected by me, I don’t know if my mask covered my shock enough.

No matter what I looked like, the Winter Soldier didn’t react to it at all. He didn’t react to anything, just stared blankly. He wore all black, tight fitting clothes, and was coated in weapons. He looked absolutely deadly, but there was something else, something I couldn’t see but knew was there.

”Who is he?” I asked flatley, turning back to Pierce.

”Not who, what,” Pierce replied, “That’s HYDRA’s fist, has been for almost forty years. He’s our secret weapon, the perfect weapon. Perfect marksman, master of any weapon short and ranged, cunningly swift, and most importantly completely obedient.” Or in other words, everything HYDRA wanted out of all their soldiers. In other words, exactly who I had to be to survive and more importantly climb. But had to be and wanted to be were very different. And had to be and capable of being were even further. No human could be that perfect, what had they done to get him that way?

Pierce got up and walked over to the Winter Soldier. I followed him with my eyes, not making a sound. There was something going on here and if I wanted to figure out what it was, I was going to have to keep my mouth shut and my ears sharp.

”He could kill you in an instant,” Peirce said, “You wouldn’t even see it coming.” He ran a hand across the Winter Soldier’s gun harness, he didn’t even flinch. I was pretty sure he didn’t even blink, or if he did he was somehow doing it at the same time I did.

Is that why I was here? Just to test out a proven weapon. No, there was more to the story, I could sense it. I wasn’t here to be killed, his threat meant nothing. I had to keep my cool, no reason to get worked up over nothing. Peirce wouldn’t send me to die, not yet, I was too valuable at the moment. Of course, circumstances can change but I was good at adapting.

“Is he human?” I asked, avoiding asking direct questions in favor of finding out my role here piece by piece. It was a tedious process, but far safer than just flat out asking. You always had to be on guard when dealing with HYDRA, or anyone for that matter.

”Mostly,” Peirce replied, grabbing the Winter Soldier by the metal arm. The soldier didn’t flinch, didn’t move. He looked unreal.

He didn’t offer anything more, which was code for me to drop the subject. No reason to push now when I would find it out in time, I always did. I’d learned patience, it was one of my most valuable tools. 

“He’s top secret, isn't he?” I asked, still avoiding the most pressing question in my mind or why I was here.

”To the outside world he doesn’t even exist,” Peirce answered “But as far as HYDRA secrets go he is barely the tip of the iceberg.”

I nod, taking my time to process the information. I couldn’t take my eyes off the Winter Soldier and his soulless gaze. Every time I thought I saw something behind those eyes, a second thought would prove me wrong. There was nothing there, he was completely empty. What had they done to him? Could they do that to me? I wanted to say no, but I’d seen behind the curtain, I knew what HYDRA was and I had accepted that a long time ago. There was no backing out now, there was only up.

”So, you think you could take him?” Peirce asked.

”Probably not,” I replied honestly, I could tell it was what he wanted to hear though. He was proud of his toy, he wasn’t going to totalorate it being broken so easily.

”Smart answer,” Peirce said, “Do you know much Russian?”

”Of course, sir,” I replied, “It was part of my training.” And every other HYDRA soldier training as well, but I didn’t need to point that out. There was no reason to show sass, he probably had a reason for asking such a pointless question.

”Good,” he said, tossing me a red book with. A red one with a black star carved into it, “Page 24,memorize it and get back with me tomorrow. I’ve got an important assignment for you, take it seriously, I don’t accept failures.”

HYDRA never does. This was nothing new, Peirce was just stating the obvious.

”Yes, sir,” I said, holding the book firm but keeping my eyes on Peirce.

”Good, you’re dismissed.”

I nodded and stood up. I gave a small bow, nothing that showed submissiveness, just respect. HYDRA needed respect, it was how you not only climbed but just survived. I walked out, resisting the urge to take a last look at the Winter Soldier.

I closed the door behind me and set all thoughts to the back of my mind. You didn’t think in HYDRA, or at least if you did you didn’t show it. I opened up the book Pierce gave me. The whole thing was written in Russian. I thumbed through it as I walked, it wasn’t long but it was dense. Little of it made sense, just words and discoherent notes. It was mostly filled with math honestly, not a subject that HYDRA spent much time teaching. I knew basic math, stuff I’d learned in school before getting involved with HYDRA, but that was so long ago. I’d been with HYDRA since I was ten; I didn’t have any formal schooling after that. I barely know my times tables, but put me in front of a gun and I can identify it, dismantle it, reassemble it and fire it in a matter of seconds.

I flipped to page 24. There was a list of ten Russian words and some notes around it.

I closed the book for now, I would worry about it tonight, for now I had to focus on S.H.I.E.L.D. I doubted Peirce just called me in to have a nice chat and give me some summer reading, he had a mission for me. I would have to make sure that didn’t interfere with my role in S.H.I.E.L.D. I was positive that Peirce would get me an excuse with the higher ups but I would have to deal with the people in STRIKE.Depending on what Peirce had in store for me it would somehow interfere with me climbing those ranks. I’d have to talk with Snyder, the current leader of STRIKE. We were on good terms, multiple times she had put her trust in me. I needed to maintain that relationship, not disappearing without words. And definitely not letting on that I had something more important than STRIKE. As far as Snyder was aware, there was nothing on my mind other than STRIKE, I had to keep it that way.

Luckily HYDRA, although not real school, had plenty of classes on lying. Lying I was good at, no not good, perfect. Lying was the first step in manipulation, both the easiest and hardest step to master. HYDRA didn’t teach the rest of the steps, if they did, one might use it against them and HYDRA couldn’t let anyone think about that too much.

I pocketed the red book and twitched my neck to recenter myself. Time to get to work.

I woke up early the next morning, earlier than usual. The words had been memorized. Ten random words with little to no connection. I knew not to ask questions, I was smarter than that, but I didn’t understand the point of these words. On the page it called them TRIGGER WORDS… trigger what? The winter soldier was already… what were Peirce’s words ‘completely obedient’… he seemed pretty confident when he said that. No matter, no need to ask questions, that wasn’t my job. If I needed to know, someone would tell me, that’s just how things worked.

 I rolled out of bed and threw on my exercise clothes to start my morning workout. Had to keep in shape, I was not one to skip leg day. I exercised until the sun came up. After that I ate breakfast, took a shower and prepared for my meeting with Peirce. No, that wasn’t what I was preparing myself for, not mentally at least. I was preparing to stare into those soulless dead eyes of that Winter Soldier. 

I knocked on the door of Peirce’s office and waited for his familiar demanding voice to wave me in. When I entered his office, I instantly looked for the Winter Soldier… he wasn’t here, I was positive of that, I double checked just to make sure.

”Rumlow,” Peirce greated, not bothering to say anything else.

”Good morning, sir,” I replied, giving a friendly but still on edge voice. No reason to get too comfortable.

”You know the words?”

”Тоска, Ржавый-“

”You can stop there,” Peirce said, cutting me off quickly. Was that worry I heard in his voice? No, that wasn’t possible, he wouldn’t show vulnerability in front of me.

”Yes, sir,” I replied, not pushing forward.

”Alright, take a seat Rumlow, it’s time to discuss your mission,” Peirce said, leading me back to the short, wide chair.

I took one look back to the corner of the room just to make sure the Winter Soldier wasn’t there, he wasn’t, not yet at least. Good, I didn’t want to see those half dead eyes ever again.

Peirce slid across a messy folder with a picture of a man paper clipped to the front. I’d seen him before, I couldn’t pinpoint where, but I knew he was familiar. I picked up the folder and began to thumb through it to keep my hands occupied as Peirce explained.

”This is Ambassador Earl Whip Cooper.” Peirce said. Dots started to connect in my head, that’s where I knew that picture from. He was an Australian diplomat that was here to monitor the government’s progress with a new trade law. “As far as the world knows, he’s just here to run through some standard procedures, but we have reason to believe his true purpose is to set up and recruit young teenagers into an underground organization nicknamed the ‘Freedom Fighters.’

”A little on the nose there,” I said jokingly. I was hoping I might get lucky enough for a snicker but the only reaction I got was a huff that might have been in amusement but was much more likely in annoyance.

”We’re going to stage an assasination attempt on him,” Peirce went on, “You’ll hop in at the last moment to save him. Cooper’s a trusting person, he’ll cling to you immediately after that. Get in good graces with him. He’ll make you a secretary guard, that’ll give you a good enough reason why you won’t be around S.H.I.E.L.D. for a while. Get in close with him, keep him distracted, that’s where the weapon will come up.”

Peirce tilted his head to the corner. He was there, the Winter Soldier. I had been keeping my ears sharp for when he entered, I thought for sure I would hear the door, but nothing. He’d evaded my detection yet again. 

“The Winter Soldier will gather every detail and information and secret possible from Cooper, and once everything has been obtained, we’ll get rid of the leftovers.”

I nodded my head, “Understood, sir.”

”Now, let’s address those words you memorized.” Pierce stood up and motioned the Winter Soldier over. I watched with my eyes as he prowled over and stood next to Pierce with almost robotic movements.

”Those little key words and the secret to mastering this blade.” Pierce rubbed a hand across the Winter Soldier's check. He didn’t flinch, he didn’t look, he just stood ghostly still.

”But he is human, right?” I asked.

Peirce glared at me. I gulped, right we had dropped that yesterday, I shouldn’t have brought it back up. 

“You’ll repeat those words to the soldier every morning. With those words, he’ll be under your control. If he starts acting out, just repeat those words and he’ll fall right back under your command. If that doesn’t work, let us know, we’ll send tech support down.”

“Yes, sir.” I held back the urge to ask once again if he was human and just nodded my head. I knew my place in line, clearly he knew his as well.

“Good, now, go ahead and recite the words to it, slowly and with dominance. Stand up and look it in the eyes, don’t hesitate and stay firm.”

”Right, yes, sir.” I stood up and looked the Winter Soldier in the eyes. I rolled back my shoulders and stretched my neck. I copied the movement my teachers would also take before teaching me a lesson. It was time for the student tobecome the master. I showed no mercy or fear or worry in my eyes and I began to speak, “тоска, ржавый, семнадцать, рассвет, печь, девять, мягкий, возвращение домой, один, грузовой вагон.”

”Good, test it out,” Peirce said, a twisted smile appearing on his face.

”Umm, sit?” I said, unsure what more he wanted from me.

The Winter Soldier didn’t blink, he just gracefully moved to the floor, sitting down criss-cross applesauce like an innocent child, but that was from what he actually was.

”Good work, we’ll have it stick around you for a few days so you can get used to the feeling of wielding this weapon and soon we’ll set the plan in motion.”

“So, he’ll just follow me around?” I knew it was a stupid question when I asked it, but I couldn’t help it. I didn’t like being watched. 

Pierce didn’t dignify that with a response. Instead he stood up and dismissed me. I nodded, turned and left. The Winter Soldier followed me without a sound, without a breath, without any sign at all he was even there.