home, sweet not-so-home
Kate had insisted he nap on the way there. Something about his body needing to recover from dying less than- geez, was that really only like, three hours ago? It felt like forever. He doesn’t remember time stretching like this in the Hex, but now it just seems to go on and on and it was always too slow and-
Anyway, he’d slept. Mostly to pacify Kate, but also to try and escape his own spiraling, vicious thoughts, too.
He’d woken up screaming. He doesn’t remember what he dreamed about- a blessing.
Billy. The name was constantly on his lips, now, rolling the syllables over his teeth, his own voice sounding wrong and unfamiliar in his ears. Billy.
Please be here, Billy.
But that was a while ago now. So like, it’s chill.
More or less.
“We’re almost there,” Kate says, checking the GPS, and he nods, eyes fixed out the window.
“Alright.”
“Are you ready?” she asks, hesitantly, and there is water in his lungs and a name on his tongue and a red glow closing in on him.
“Yep.”
He sees her start the words, then think better of it, protest dying on her lips. “Okay,” she says simply instead. She checks the mirror again, frowning.
“What?”
“Nothing,” she assures him. Kate is not a particularly good liar, he has learned. Or at least she isn’t to him. “I just- thought I saw something.”
He blows a bubble with the gum he’d stolen from Kate’s car door, shifting the weight of his chin on his hands. “Something?”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“Gee,” he drawls, “Now what reason would I ever have to worry?”
Kate rolls her eyes, waving a hand at him. “You’re a bit of an asshole, you know that?”
Thomas had heard that before- he laughs. “No way, really?”
Kate stares at him. Tommy stares back, frowning in confusion.
“What?”
“Nothing, you just sounded-” She stops, turning back to the road. “Nothing.”
“Okay, weirdo,” he teases, kicking his feet back up on the dashboard.
“That’s not very road safe of you, y’know,” she huffs good-naturedly, and he snickers, slouching further.
“I move at the speed of sound. What car crash is going to hurt me?”
“Wait, can you be caught off guard?” she asks, and he pauses, considering it.
“Huh. I’m not actually sure.” He bites his lip, then adds, “Billy can. Surprise me, I mean. So.”
“Because of the twin thing? Or because of... whatever it is that his powers are besides for “bringing people back from the dead”?” She glances at him, shrugging. “You never elaborated.”
“Still not gonna,” he informs her. She rolls her eyes dramatically before looking back at the road.
“Huh. Here we are, I guess.”
Tommy watches the fades “Welcome to Westview” sign blur past them, ignoring the thick feeling in his throat. “Yep. Home, sweet home.”
Kate’s hand brushes his shoulder, and she asks, “Do you need a min-”
“No,” he says quickly, his voice breaking on the word. “No.”
Kate watches him, then nods. “Okay. In we go, then.”
“Down the road,” he mumbles in return, and they drive on.
“Turn here,” he instructs when they get to his street, and Kate listens. The houses rolling by are familiar, and yet not at the same time, and every person he sees is like a punch to the stomach.
Where are you, Billy?
“What are you going to do?” Kate asks, glancing at him. “If your brother... isn’t there.”
His fingers drum against his knee, a repetitive and rapid motion. “I haven’t thought about it.”
“Tommy.”
His gaze darts to the window, then to her, then back to the window. “I... can’t. Yet. I dunno, I’ll figure it out. Just-” He swallows, his throat dry. “I’ll figure something out.”
“Okay,” Kate agrees. She’s really awesome like that. And also insane. So very, very insane. Who even does all this? For someone they don’t even know?
He’s glad she’s here, though. He really is.
It would... suck, to do this on his own.
“Slight problem,” Kate says, slowing the car to a stop, and Tommy follows her gaze.
“Huh.” He stares at the graffitied empty lot, and frowns. “Shit.”
“Shit?”
“Well, I didn’t know it wasn’t...” He gestures mournfully, letting his head fall in his hands. “...well. Real.”
Kate opens her mouth, then closes it again. “Oh. Right, yeah.” She sucks a breath through her teeth, resting her hand lightly on his shoulder. He leans into the contact, eyes burning. “Are you... okay?”
He pulls his knees up to his chest, worrying his lip between his teeth. “I mean- ugh. It’s not really like this should change anything for me? But like- even the house wasn’t real. That’s just so-”
“You’re allowed to be upset about your weird not-real childhood,” Kate offers gently.
“I have a lot of things I should be a lot more upset about.”
“That doesn’t mean you can’t be upset about this.”
He sits up abruptly, reaching for the door. “I’m going to- I’m gonna go. Look around, I guess.”
“Do you need a minute?” Kate asks, putting the car in park, and he shrugs stiffly.
“I dunno. I mean, it doesn’t much matter, does it? I’ll be done by the time you make it over, ha.” He grins wryly at her over his shoulder- humor’s a pretty decent coping mechanism. “Benefits of superspeed, I guess. I can speedrun breakdowns, too.”
She seems to hesitate, for a moment, before she reaches out, grabbing his wrist. “You don’t have to speedrun your grief. I mean, it’s shitty. You can let it be shitty.”
“No,” he says honestly, pulling away. “No, Kate, I can’t.”
Her eyes get all... sad, and shiny, and he rolls his eyes, flicking her arm.
“Kate. I am fine. Or I will be, once I go speedrun a breakdown in the empty lot of my imaginary childhood home where I died the first time. Cool?”
“Not really,” she protests, but he just rolls his eyes again, nudging the car door open with his knee.
“Be back in a second. Don’t do anything I would do.”