Introductions
She woke up not in the BioSyn Sanctuary, and not in her body. She still stood on two legs, but her arms were proportional longer, her head was small, she had more fingers, and she had a head of gray hair with brown roots. She had a crown and a brown skirt, shirt, leather jacket, and a leaf crown.
Rexy walked and walked until she found a place named 'Richard's Club & Bar.' She walked inside, finding a man in an orange coat inside. "Hey," he waved at her as she sat down, near enough to him to talk, but not too near.
"I'm MatPat, who are you?" he asked, "Roberta," she answered before widening her eyes at what she sounded like. "Do I really sound like this?" she questioned, getting Mat to raise his eyebrow "You seemed confused," Mat said.
"I'm not in my body. I was mighty, that island's queen, I found others of my kind, and then I was here," Roberta said. Mat leaned in, "What did you look like?" he asked, passing a paper and pencil that was on his table. Roberta slowly drew, ending up with a child-like drawing of a Tyrannosaurus in front of a giant entrance reading 'Jurassic Park.'
Mat raised his eyebrows as he realized who Roberta was, but nodded and didn't mention it, deciding he didn't want to break about the multiverse to a dinosaur who knew barely anything about humans. The doors opened to reveal a blonde woman in a red suit with pale white skin and red cheeks and a man with bleached blonde hair and brown beard pulling a unconscious grey robot with purple accents.
The woman sat and waved at the four in the room as the robot woke up and turned to the man it sat next to. "Bald," a robotic voice said, to which the man covered his face. "Hi, I'm Charlie," the woman said as the robot turned on, "Hello, lady," it said before powering down.
Roberta and Mat introduced themselves as the beared man said his name was Doug. "This is a hivemind called Twitch Chat," he said as Roberta asked, "Why does it speak in one voice then?" The man pulled out a remote control, "Because if they all spoke at the same time, it would sound like this."
He pressed the button and the robot started to spew out thousands of voices all saying different things. The vocal barf made the other people's hurt before Doug turned it off. The door opened to reveal a lion and a three foot cookie.
Mat focused on the Diet Coke he had in his hand when he heard the cookie speak. "Can you please annoy someone else?" the lion asked, "Well, it's not my fault you don't know about hard work." Mat stopped what he was doing, quickly looking with his eyes to see a gingerbread woman with carrot pigtails and a farmer getup.
Her voice reminded him of Ro, but it was still different. He could hear Ro in the voice, but it was still it's own. Doug looked at his watch and facepalmed, "No, you cannot seduce the lion," he looked at his watch again, "Or marry the lion to the pope." Twitch Chat turned on as the lion looked confused, scared, and weirded out at the same time, "Let me fuck the lion."
The lion quickly climbed into a booth far from Doug and Twitch Chat and sat as the cookie sat down in front of Mat. "Hi, I'm Carrot Cookie!" she exclaimed, getting his attention, "Oh, I'm MatPat." A tall man with short brown hair in a brown suit with a green, polka-dotted bowtie walked in nervously and sat down on one of the bar stools.
He felt all the eyes in the room on him and cleared his throat before speaking, "He- Hello, I'm A-A-Amos." He slightly waved at the group, not expecting any waves back. That's when he noticed the robot, cookie, and lion in the room, and two kids ran in.
The ginger-haired girl seemed more wild while the blonde seemed more controlled. "Where do ya think we are?" the ginger asked, "I don't know, Mebh," the blonde responded before a glass of milk appeared before each of them.
Charlie moved to sit with them and introduced herself, "I'm Mebh Óg MacTíre and this is Robyn," Mebh introduced the two of them as a giant yellow rabbit walked into the club and sat with the lion. He took off his mask to reveal a man with graying hair and beard.
A beer appeared in his hand and he started to drink as another man walked through, this time being 3'6" and having hairy feet. He walked and sat at a bar stool mumbling a tune about bunting knifes and cracking plates.
The man grabbed a glass and went behind the bar to pour himself a drink, "Oh, hello," he said. He walked back to his stool, "I'm Bilbo. Bilbo Baggins," the hobbit said as the door opened. A man in a black-and-white pinstrip suit with green hair walked next to a teen in black.
The man was cracking inappropriate jokes as the woman barely contained a smile. They sat down as the man turned toward you. "I know, weird collection of characters, right?" The girl turned his head away before introducing themselves.
"I'm Lydia and this is BJ, don't ask for his real name, bad stuff will happen." Most of the group wondered what she meant, but BJ could see what the orange glasses wearing man was thinking in his mind. The man knew him, and BJ got an idea of what this was.
BJ shared a glance with the man, who simply stared back and did a small 'I see you motion' with one of his hands on the table. The next guest was another normal guy in a black ensemble and glasses and a teen girl in dark jeans, a denim jacket, and a shirt with small stripes in various colors.
He was a big man with dark brown hair, and he carried a typewriter, his, unknown to the others, second Smith Corona model. He sat down in one of the booths, opened the typewriter and began typing, slightly ignoring the others. The girl sat next to him and pulled out her phone, texting someone, before sitting there, doing nothing.
He consistently looked up at them with his eyes, but always looked away almost immediately afterward. The next guests were a blonde haired lady in a pink, princess dress and a crown, along with a man in a white ringmaster uniform with white gloves and cane.
"If you know me, how come I don't know you?" she asked as they walked in. "Ah, multiverse stuff, you might meet another version of me in the future," the man cryptically said before sitting down.
Their next person to meet was a man in a blue, bedazzled outfit. None of them could easily describe what he was wearing, but nonetheless, he scatted his way to a seat. The next person walked through, a brown haired woman in a blue suit with yellow highlights that had sand, dirt, blood, and grime baked in.
She looked around the menagerie of creatures and softly said, "Okie dokie." She sat down and was about to introduce herself, when a man with brown hair appeared. He wore a grey with red sleeves varsity jacket, jeans, and a mechanical mask with red lights.
He looked scared of something, yet seemed to calm down after he sat down and had a drink. He was followed by a person in an orange suit and big, black, bulky mask. The suited person sat down at a table and took off their mask, revealing a man with brown hair, sideburns, and mustache wearing black glasses. Their two final guests arrived at the same time, one in the door, and the other through the window.
The door guest was a small, pale white woman in a red and blue jester outfit with yellow highlights and pom pom buttons. The window guest wore a red and blue body suit with black webbing patterns all over, a spider logo, and white eye lenses.
He took off the mask, revealing a young adult with brown hair and a slight stuble, just barely visible. Both of them looke over everyone and sat down, the woman a little more nervous than the boy.
As everyone calmed down, they started to mingle, introduced themselves, talk to each other, when a man in a hat, overcoat, dress shirt, slacks, dress shoes, and suspenders, all split in half, one half red, the other blue, appeared.
"Hello, before we begin with the business I brought you here for, here's a song to ease you." The group turned quiet as BJ leaned to Lydia's ear and whispered. "Including both of your school's musical productions, talk about a self insert," the man, sitting down and holding a clarinet, flicked his fingers in a subtle motioned towards BJ, who suddenly had a zipper on his mouth. He pouted as the song began revealing a blonde haired woman.
Je M'en Fiche from The Hello Girls
Louise:
You've got us, right from reveille
Rolling heavily out of bed
You've got our full attention all day~
We've got our after hours
And those are ours to spend
Well I intend to spend 'em this way
Amos looked over and had a mental battle. The woman singing looked like Roxie, but then where was Velma? Why would the man not annouce her name if she was so obsessed with being in the limelight?
I'm gonna let my regulation hair down
I'm off the clock and off the leash
Yes, there's a rule or two it's time to tear down
You're upset
Je regrette...
Je m'en fiche!
Amos continued the battle as he focused on the piano player, who looked like Mr. Flynn. Lights revealed a woman in the back, well there was Velma, but weren't her and Roxie a double act? Why was she in the back?
Grace:
If people don't want to wake up early, that's fine. But I don't think we should stay up late carousing. Suzanne...? Help me out here.
More lights turned on, revealing the woman playing this Suzanne. Amos's brain wracked even harder, the woman was one of the Masters of Ceremonies at the club that he and Roxie went to sometimes. He still went there sometimes, they became friends, she knew what happened between him and Roxie, so why was she performing with her?
Suzanne:
Look pal, I gotta level
We need some revelry 'round this joint
We're getting dull -- All work and no play~
You're preaching for propriety
We've been quiet enough
'Cause once the epaulettes are off
I'm sorry, but all bets are off
I'm going off the hook and out of my headset
I'm gonna dare to eat a quiche
Against this plan of mine I know you're dead set
C'est la vie
Mon amie-
Je m'en fiche
As Amos tried to comprehend what he was seeing, Genie was having a fun time. He was schmoving and grooving in his seat at the tune.
Louise and Suzanne:
If I were Spanish, I might fight you mano a mano
If I were German, I might shriek in a shrill soprano~
But I'm not Spanish, or German, or even Italiano, capisce?
That's why the way that I say it is this:
Je m'en fiche!
The man from earlier stood up and played a Swanky Ass And Funky As Fuck™ clarinet solo. As it winded down a trio of men were shown in lights in the back. Another woman got lights, and thankfully Amos didn't recognize her.
Helen:
Boys! Boys watching us!
Amos focused on the three men and felt that his brain was about to explode. There was one he didn't recognize, but why was the judge of Roxie's trial there, and why was Officer Fogarty next to him? Or is it Prosecutor Harrison? Amos couldn't understand why those two looked so similar.
Officer 1, Officer 2, Officer 3,Grace, Louise, Suzanne:
Evening, ladies. We didn't mean to scare you.
We heard music.
Is there something going on here tonight?
We're sorry about the ruckus, lieutenant. These ladies were just-
You bet there's something going on!
Oh yeah...? What is it?
Well, it's a... dance. A subscription dance, see? Kind of an Army mixer, for a good cause.
Are we invited?
A dollar gets you in the door...
We gotta tell our buddies. Our whole regiment ships out tomorrow!
We gotta dance now before the Germans are calling the tune. You know?
The lights filled the stage revealing a group of men and women, a few of which Amos recognized from around his life, during Roxie's shenanigans.
Women (Men):
If I get dragged before a judge or drummed out (Ooo~)
I'll have to find another niche (Ooo~)
But I'll repeat it, just in case there's some doubt
Je voudrais
M'amuser!
Je m'en fiche!
Louise and Suzanne:
Don't be sore
Je t'adore
But on your way out shut the door
Women, All:
I'm not done
Having fun
(Small Instrumental)
Je m'en fiche
The group clapped for the performance, except for Amos, who was trying to comprehend why he recognized these people. The clarinet man stepped off the stage as everyone else disappeared into the alcove.
"Thank you, thank you!" he exclaimed, quieting the group, "I am Richard." He walked behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of A&W Root Beer. "I am also the one who brought you here," he confessed as he removed BJ's zipper.
"You all are here to react to yourselves, because I am not original," the man turned to a wheel he spawned don't of nowhere and was about to spin it when- "Wa- a- ait!" Amos got the man's attention, but really the man knew and was prepared.
"Yes, Amos?"
"Why di- did they loo- oo- ook like people I kn- know?"
"Yes, all of you are from different universes, so some people know others, because in those universes, they are fictional. To specifically answer your question, like how there are multiple versions of a person, there are multiple versions of a look. So those people are recreations of my high school theater troupe, which did Chicago, which is your universe, and The Hello Girls, which had the song we just did."
Richard spun the wheel and hid the result from the others. "I'll get the room ready, introduce yourselves." He left to another room, leaving the group to say their names to each other.
He returned to the lobby, and beckoned them into the room. They walked in to a read room with giant stairs and gold accents. There was a set of couches with a TV, "Welcome to a recreation of the Hazbin Hotel!"