Moving Forward
Steve did not want to look at the journal with Bucky still sitting in front of him, so he simply closed it and pushed it off to the side. Bucky still seemed a bit shaken, but was starting to calm down. The boys had never talked so much after one of Bucky's sessions, so Steve was at a lost on what he should do now. Bucky was the first person to break the tension.
"How was your lunch with Sam?"
"Oh, it was good. Yeah, he is actually going to be out of town for the next few days it's his mom's birthday"
"Okay"
Bucky was aware that Steve went to lunch every Thursday with Sam while he was in his therapy session, but Steve figured he just thought it was two friends making an effort to hang out, not a long con game to keep Sam off his back. The more he thought about it, the more concerned he got that Bucky saw him making an effort with Sam, but he hasn't done anything much with Bucky that wasn't focused on the Winter Soldier.
"Did you want to go out to lunch some time Buck?"
"What?"
"I... I, well, just mean if ever wanted to get out of the tower or something. We could do that, you are not under house arrest"
"Oh, right, I don't know, maybe"
"Okay, sure. Just let me know"
They sat in silence again, Steve was starting to wish that he had brought his laptop out with him, at least then he would have something to do with his hands. Luckily, the chime of his phone that was sitting on the counter interrupted them. As he got up to go and check what it was, Bucky got up to follow him.
"And since when do you leave your phone out here?"
"What are you talking about"
"I mean I have been here over a month and that thing is practically glued to your pocket, you check it almost every minute"
"Well, I'm sorry if my checking to see if the world is under attack it so cumbersome to you"
"Come on now punk, I ain't saying that, just something I noticed. But you have never left it sitting out like that, especially for how long you left it there"
"I had come home in a hurry, forgot where I left it"
Bucky was giving him a look, one that said if you are going to lie, at least come up with a better one than that. Which made Steve, as usual, get defensive and double down.
"What's it you what I do with my phone anyways?"
"It's nothing, just asking a question"
"Whatever", Steve mumbled as he looked down at his phone, there had in fact been multiple messages left unread, luckily none of them were urgent. They were mostly about diner tonight, or people checking in on Bucky. The rest of the Avengers were eager to meet the infamous James Buchanan Barnes, but until he showed a willingness to, they got all of their updates from Steve.
"What time is diner?"
That question surprised Steve, Bucky had never asked about the team diners, Steve figured he would opt to ignore them if it were not for him constantly bringing it up.
"Oh, um, at 7, why?"
Bucky just shrugged, which Steve did not take as a form of denial.
"Would you like to go?", he clocked how Bucky instantly went rigid, and assumed he had guessed wrong. He immediately began backpedaling.
"You don't have to, I can just go down and get us some food to bring up"
"No, well", Bucky was leaning agains the counter in the kitchen, drumming his fingers along it.
"That's, sort of, the other thing"
"What other thing?"
"That my therapist suggested"
"Oh"
There was silence again, Steve wondered if Bucky was expecting him to have understood where he was going with this, but he did not want to make any more assumptions. When he realized that Steve was not going to finish for him, Bucky let out a dramatic sigh.
"She gave me the whole speech about meeting people and intertwining myself with modern day, with modern day and my freedom. I'm sure you got the same speech when you first got out of the ice from your therapist"
"Um, what?"
"Oh come on punk, the whole you grew up in a different century with different social norms and technology, and other stuff, and the only why to learn about it and to start excepting that this is now our reality, is to be apart of it. You know, don't isolate, meet people, take part in the world around us"
"Oh, well..."
"Steve, are you telling me your therapist did not give you the same crap. No wonder you are still so wound up tight, they probably sucked at their job"
"I...I, you know..."
"Or... are you saying? No, that can't be right. Steve, you did go to therapy when you first woke up, right?"
"Well, when I first woke up Shield was trying to pretend I was still in the 40s, there was no therapist waiting in the room when I woke up, no"
"Okay, but what about in the weeks after? You have seen someone, right?"
"I-"
"STEVE!"
"What?"
"How is it possible that you have not been to a therapist. Shield should have thrown your ass in a chair before letting you on the field, it was quite literally in their protocols"
"I told them the serum help heal my mind too, and how do you know about Shield's protocols"
"I read everything about everything that had to do with Hydra when I first start regaining consciousness. That's not the point, Steve the serum does not do shit for your mind like that. Why did you lie?"
"I don't know, I knew I didn't need to go to therapy, it seems like it was worth the shot".
To Steve's surprise, Bucky started laughing at him. He had expected anger, or maybe exasperation, but not laughter. Bucky was laughing so hard that he had to take a seat on one of the chairs pushed in to the kitchen counter.
"What Buck, what are you laughing?"
But Bucky wasn't answering, he just kept laughing. Steve rolled his eyes and look back to his phone, sending a quick text to answer Natasha, telling her that Bucky was back from therapy and was fine. Bucky's laughter was simmering into a light chuckle by the time Steve was hitting send.
"Are you done yet?"
"First of all, I needed a good that laugh, so, thank you. Second, that is the biggest load of horse shit I have ever heard. You are telling me these people let you get away with that bullshit?"
Steve rolled his eyes, but he was feeling incredibly grateful to hear Bucky sound like his old self again.
"Well not anymore, these people need back up when it comes to you"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means that I am coming to dinner, to see what other bullshit you pull on your friends"
On one hand, Steve saw this as huge progress to have Bucky join them for dinner, on the other hand, Steve now had to worry about what Bucky was going to say to the team about him. Although, he could not help the smile on his face as he sent a text to Tony to save a place for him and Bucky at dinner.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Steve had almost expected Bucky to try and back out last minute, instead Bucky kept bugging him about whether or not he was wearing the right thing. Steve tried to tell him that it did not matter, this was not a formal event, but he could tell that this was where his anxious energy was cumulating, so he entertain Bucky's questions. When the pair enter the common room, Natasha and Clint were already setting out the food on the table. Well, Nat was setting the table, Clint was trying to taste as much of the food as he could, while Natasha kept swatting his hand away.
Natasha noticed them first, she came straight up to the boys, giving Bucky a good look over, before crossing her arms and nodding her head once. At that, she silently went back to what she was doing. Clint, who was more focused on stealing a roll of bread to notice them, only looked up when Steve cleared his throat.
"Cap! Long time no see, it's funny, I almost think I see you less now that you live here, then when you didn't"
Bucky gave him a sideways glance, but Steve just shrugged it off, moving further into the room.
"Anything I can help with"
"No, Steve", Natasha wave him off, "you are usually the one to do this, we got it this time. Foods ready, so when everyone gets here we can start".
"Do you usually set the table for a meal you don't attend Steve", Bucky was looking at him unimpressed, but also not surprised.
"Yes, he does, and it's annoying. How are any of us supposed to keep up with that", Clint jokingly pouted from behind the salad bowl. That made Steve chuckle. "Clint, you couldn't keep up with a bird", "Hey! I can be very helpful, if you just left something helpful to do behind", Clint retorted back.
"Birdbrain wouldn't clean if the president was coming over", at some point Tony had come into the room, and could not resist joining in to dog on someone. Wanda had come in as well, and was giggling as she sat down.
"Why would I clean for the president, what's he ever done for me? Besides, you are one to talk Tony, you don't clean either, you just pay someone else to so for you"
"Yes, but at least I make sure it gets done. You on the other hand, Jarvis has told me what your room looks like"
"Oh, well I am sorry that I don't have powers, or super strength to help me, or rich enough to pay someone else to do everything for me"
"Are you boys going bicker all night, or can we at least eat?", Natasha snap at them while joining everyone sitting at the table
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. I have to get back to the lab tonight anyways, might as well start"
There was a good chunk of time where not much was talked about, besides the occasional asking for found to be passed, or compliments on how the food tastes. As everyone ate their first few bites of food to calm their hunger, the conversation started to pick up again, which seems to just be a continuation of the conversation they were having before dinner. Only, this time it was directed toward Bucky.
"So what, are you going to be another compulsive handy helper, or are you going to be adding to the mess?"
If Clint had not been making direct eye contact with him, Bucky never would have known he was the one being asked. He honestly had expected to just show up and observe, not get in on any conversations. But when has anything gone the way Bucky expected it too? However, Tony seemed to jump in to answer for him.
"Well, if he never leaves his room, how much mess can cyborg here make? He certainly won't be surpassing you Clint"
"Tony", Steve cut in with a warning. They three of them have all been very cautious of each other since Bucky had moved into the tower. Steve had told Tony about his parents before ever asking to allow Bucky to move in, and Tony had been really understanding. He knew that it was not Bucky's fault, but he did say that it was going to take time for him to fully except that the person that killed his mom was Captain America's best friend and would be living under the same roof as him. However, this was Bucky's first time meeting everyone, Steve did not want there to be any confrontation.
Bucky, on the other hand, did not seem to mind the cyborg comment, in fact, there was a slight twinkle in his eyes, as if he took it as a compliment.
"I was raised in a house that expected everyone to pick up after themselves, which I appreciate", Bucky answered.
"Good, I can't handle another Clint leaving his shit around every where"
"Natasha, you are supposed to be on my side"
"I will be on your side when you stop leaving dirty cups out for someone else to clean up"
Clint wore a fake betrayed look on his face, while everyone laughed.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. At least don't be so goody two-shoes as Steve over there"
Steve gave a Clint a smirk that quickly turned into a frown at the way Bucky was chuckling next to him.
"Steve may be virtuous, but he aint no goody two-shoes, that's for sure"
"Oh?", Wanda was giggling
"Oh pray tell, does our resident angel have a dark side", Tony was looking excited to get some dirt on Steve.
"Steve only does things when he has something to prove"
"Oh, come on Buck, that's not true"
"Oh really punk? Sure you know how to mind your manners, but I always had to fight you about picking up your art supplies, or going out into the cold to take the trash out. The only time you ever did those things was when you were starting to get sick and didn't want me fussing at you"
"Is that how you always knew"
"Punk you can't lie to save your life, I could always see through it. But you suddenly volunteering to do chores was such an obvious one"
"Is there another side to Steve we do not know? One that is not all Mr. Perfect", Tony was looking between Bucky and Steve as if he could pry stories from their minds.
"Mr. Perfect? Oh please, Steve is the most reckless person I have ever met, and sure most people think that is because he is so selfless. No, I think he actually gets a kick out of doing the complete opposite of what he is told"
The whole table erupted into a laughter that told Steve that they probably believed Bucky, why did he want him to come to dinner again? Steve shifted in his chair feeling a bit self conscience. Bucky picking him apart reminded him that he was the only one who ever truly understood him, he always saw through him. Growing up, Bucky saw all of Steve flaws, and still chose to stick by him, even followed him into battle. Although, that was exactly what got Bucky in to the situation he was in. That was one flaw that Bucky didn't see, and it was fatal, Steve was the catalyst for everything bad that had happened to Bucky since the moment that they met each other.