A Rude Awakening
When Steve Rogers pushed the bully who was picking on the young girl, he did not think that it would change his life in anyway. In fact, the interaction was going about how he had expected, a moment after he gave the larger boy a shove, Steve found himself flat on his ass in the grass. He looked toward the young girl, who seemed to be too stunned to move, and yelled "run!", to her. Luckily, she did, just as the bully grabbed a fistful of Steve's shirt collar, and pulled him back to his feet. Steve winced in anticipation to a punch that never came, instead, another boy was pushing the boy off of him. It was Steve's turn to be frozen in shock, he watched in silence as the new kid laid into the bully. After a few good punches, the kid let up, "remember that the next time you want to lay a hand on him", he spit at the boy on the ground. The bully scrambled to his feet and ran away. "Hey, you okay?", Steve blinked before he realized that he was addressing him, "um...yeah. Thanks", he mumbled. This new kid smiled brightly at him, Steve could not help but notice how handsome this kid was, which made him even more confused why he helped him. "The name's James, but people usually call me Bucky", the kid, Bucky, held his had out for Steve to shake, which he did, but Steve knew it was weak, he blushed softly, ashamed, "I, um, my name's Steve. Uh, Steve Rogers". Bucky gripped his had tighter, while clapping him on the shoulder with his other hand, "well Steve Roger, I have to thank you for helping my sister". Oh, Steve though, that's why this guy stepped in, his sister was in trouble, and he wanted revenge on the guy that did it. Steve nodded his head, starting to pull back and head home, leaving Bucky to check on his sister. "Hey, where ya going punk?", Steve pause, looking back at him. Bucky just smirked, "come on". Steve wasn't sure what caused him to follow Bucky that day, but he would be forever grateful that he did. Even in the years to come, when Bucky would dig into Steve about getting into fights, lecturing him as he cleaned up his face. Not when Bucky tried to convince him to move in with him after his ma died, and not even when they had to say good bye the night Bucky shipped off. No, Steve would forever be grateful, because Bucky was his best friend, and reminded him that there were good people in this world.
When Steve found Bucky strapped down to that table at the base in Azzano, he felt so many emotions at onces. He was overwhelmed with relief that he had found him alive, but his heart shattered while Bucky mumbled out his name and rank. Watching the confusion in his eyes as Bucky struggled to keep up with Steve brought tears to his eyes. He also felt a bit of joy as Bucky was able to joke through the moment, as he used up some of his limited energy to ask, "is it permanent?". When they had finally made it back safely to base camp, Bucky pulled him into a tight embrace the moment they were inside Steve's tent. There were so many questions they both wanted to ask, but words seemed to fall short for the moment, so they were content holding on to each other in silence, reminding themselves that the other was still alive. In the coming days, Bucky eventually pulled the full story out of Steve on how he turned from a straggly asthmatic, to a 6'2" pile of muscles over night. As thrilled as he was that he would never have to spend another night laying awake watching Steve sleep, hoping that this newest round of sickness would not be the one that finally takes him away, Bucky couldn't help but lecture Steve on how stupid it seemed to let some random scientist experiment on him. He also had to fallow that up with how ignoring orders to run a solo rescue mission was probably one of the most dangerous things he could have done, and he did not even hesitate to do so. Steve had told Bucky that there was nothing that could have stopped him from trying to get him back. Whatever rebuttal Bucky had planned died on his lips, a misty eyed, firm nod of his head was the only response that Steve got before the matter was dropped for good. Not too long later, as Steve watched Bucky fall from the train, a horrible voice in his head spoke up, "I guess something can stop you from going after him". Steve had tried to drown that thought with alcohol, before he learned the first downside to his enhanced body.
Peggy's voice was pleading with him through the radio, Steve hated the sadness in her voice. He could imagine a life with her, after the war. Perhaps Steve would be able to pursue an art career, they could even have a couple children. Bucky could live next door to them, with his family, their kids would be best friends and grow up to protect each other, just like Bucky and Steve did as kids. It sounded like a great life, a life that Steve wanted, but that life became impossible when Bucky fell, and Steve broke his promise to Bucky when he did not go after him. However, if he can do this one thing, he could save so many lives, and his death could mean something. With the decision made, he pointed the Valkyrie toward the ice, waiting for everything to go blank.
*~~~~~~~~~*
Each strike of his fist against the punching bag landed wilder then the last. The anger was building up inside of him and he only knew one way to make it stop that did not involve inconveniencing anyone else. Steve felt as if just yesterday he was waking up in that fake hospital bed, but in reality it had been months. Steve had been content locking himself away in the apartment that Shield had provided for him until he figure out how/if it was possible for him to die, but when Fury presented him with that file, the one that told him that the Tesseract was still in play, and being used as a weapon, he knew he could not stay out of it. The Battle of New York was both everything and nothing like being back in the war. If he squinted, Tony was just like Howard, but at the same time, he was so much more that his father ever was. The world seemed so much larger, and stranger, than it did back in his time, yet he felt like he was still fighting the same bullies, even if these ones were blue and came from outer space. After New York, Steve had returned to his apartment in D.C, ready to return to his solitude. However, it seemed that the universe was forcing him out of that damn place. When he came across Sam while running, he wasn't sure what made him do it, but after the third time he lapped him, his old self decided to make an appearance as he was saying, "on your left", before realizing what he was doing. After a few times meeting up for coffee with Sam, Steve realized that his solitude was probably not going to happen, and he would have to find a way to at least pretend to be well adjusted. Maybe, if he convinced them enough, Nat would even stop trying to set him up with random women. He did not want to be rude, but he had little hope that he would ever be able to have a relationship with someone that was not surface level, he wasn't sure that the part of him the can connect to others even worked anymore. When he discovered that Shield had been just another puppet for Hydra, Steve was even more convinced of that. Not only did he feel so different from everyone around him, he now learned the few people that he did trust had betrayed him. He probably would have gone into hiding and left them to clean up their own messes, if he hadn't run into the man in the mask. This man was the first real challenge that Steve had in hand to hand combat since the serum, but that wasn't what caused him to pause and look deeper at this man. He felt a strange sense of familiarity as they fought, but when that mask fell off, his entire world fell apart, again. "Bucky?" "Who the hell is Bucky?".
When Steve turned around to find Bucky looking at him on that aircraft, he knew that he was not walking away from this fight alive, and that, that was not a bad thing. He would not hurt Bucky, because he had been hurt far too much already, and that was his fault. He left Bucky alone in the snow, allowing Hydra to find him, and sealing his fate. What Steve had not allowed himself to imagine, was that he would survive, and that Bucky would be the one to save him. Steve was grateful to find Sam at his bedside when he woke up, despite his constant belief that he would not be able to care about anyone in this new century, he found Sam's company to be comforting. Neither of them said anything, but they both knew that they were about to spend the next, however long, trying to find Bucky and bring him home. Steve felt a small amount of pity for Sam, because Steve knew that he would not give up until he was either successful, or died trying. He did not want to drag Sam into that, but he was also fully aware that Sam was too good of a person to let him do this on this own. In the time that they spent looking for Bucky, his friendship with Sam grew rapidly, he was shocked at how easy it was to be friends with someone while he was actively trying to avoid that very thing. However, Steve was thankful for the surprise friendship, even when it meant that Sam saw through his bullshit. So many times, after particularly hard days, Sam would try to remind Steve that this may not be successful, and that Steve may have to learn how to move on without Bucky. Steve always says he understands, but Sam never buys, he always throws in a "Steve, what happened to Bucky is not your fault. It is also not your responsibility to save him", Steve appreciated the sentiment, but he also knows that Sam was just trying to be nice. Steve learned how to be more careful about how he spoke around Sam, trying to avoid as may of these heart to heart moments that made Steve very uncomfortable, as possible. When they eventually found Bucky, Steve was grateful for the practice in hiding his emotions. The state that he was in when they found him, or more like the he found them, broke Steve's heart. It was like finding him on that table in Azzano again, except it was even worse. A barely understandable code found its what to the motel that Steve and Sam had just checked into had led them to where Bucky had been staying. When they had arrived, Bucky seemed to have forgotten that he had led them to him, but he was in such a weakened state, it did not take much convincing for him to come with them.
After Bucky was seen by medical, Steve helped him into their new floor in the Avengers tower. Tony had been trying to convince Steve to move into the tower for a while now, and had apparently already prepared a floor for him. When he found out about Bucky, he was hesitant to ask Tony if they could move in, even if it had not been for Tony's parents, but the younger Stark agreed that this was probably the safest place for them to be. As soon Bucky had been shown his room, and changed into something more comfortable form the new clothes that Stark had apparently stocked them both with, he had immediately fallen asleep in his bed, while Steve sat on the fluffy chair in the corner of the room. Steve looked at his best friend, sleeping stiffly in the bed, and had no illusions that this was going to be their happy ending. Bucky had been through so much, his brain had been scrambled more time than Steve could imagine. No matter how much that Steve wanted to curl up beside Bucky on that bad and completely break down, to unload all of the shame and guilt that he has been feeling since the day of the fall, Steve knew that Bucky did not need that right now. Bucky needed Steve to be strong, so that is what he was going to be.