What the fuck
Van Palmer knew there would be consequences for getting caught looking at PlayBoy magazines by none other than Vicky Palmer.
She should’ve locked the door, should’ve made sure her mother was passed out drunk (as she so often was), she should have been more careful.
But, turns out, staring at images of barely dressed women took all of her attention, so much of it in fact that she didn’t notice the sound of her mother’s steps down the small hallway nor the sound of her hand on the door handle, nor the creaking of her bedroom door. Well she didn’t hear a thing or notice her presence until a loud
“What.The.Fuck”
“Mom?!” fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck
“Vanessa.”
The look on her mother’s face was unreadable, they just stood there, looking at each other in silence. Well, what a way to come out to your own mother, thought Van.
The two were just looking at each other in silence until Vicky grabbed Van’s backpack.
“That’s it Vanessa, I’m done with your bullshit “ Vicky said as she started shoving some of Van’s clothes and crap into the old backpack that she had owned since middle school.
“Mom what are you doing “ Van said, starting to feel the anxiety growing in her
“You’re going. “
“Are you kicking me out? I- Mom the magazine was a- a dare.. Yes, um, Nat dared me to take it home I swear. Come on, you're not going to kick me out for a stupid dare, please.”
“You think I’m fucking stupid, I know that Natalie has been out of reach for weeks, that's all you ever fucking moan and whine about. And anyway, who said anything about kicking you out”
“Where the fuck am I going then“
“True Direction, hopefully they will be able to fix you up “
“Am I going to fucking conversion therapy?! You’re fucking kidding me right, I’m not even-”
“ Don’t fucking lie to me Vanessa” Vicky cut her off before she could finish “ Everyone knows you’re a fucking dyke “
Van didn’t know what to say, she knew she was gay of course, how could she not. She never cared for boys, never looked at them the same way she looked at girls.
Oh girls, how fucking perfect they were, how lovable, beautiful yet so out of reach. This admiration for women came with shame; the shame of making someone uncomfortable, the shame of getting called a dyke in the hallway by Rand fucking Walsh or the shame she felt right now, getting called out by her own mother for something she can’t even control.
“ You’re going. “
………………………………….
knock knock knock
“ Hi, welcome, you must be Vanessa! “ a blond girl exclaimed
“ uh it’s Van actually “
“ Sure Van, I’m Jackie, and I will be your guide to True Direction today “
“ can’t wait. “ Van replied sarcastically
“ Come on Van, I know it’s hard but this place will help you be better! just like it helped me get rid of my, um well, tendencies “ explained Jackie with a smile plastered on her face. “Your parents usually stay with you during the visit, where are they “ she said while looking over Van’s shoulder
“My mom just dropped me off”
The car ride had been awfully quiet, when they arrived at their destination her mom didn’t even look at her and just said “That’s it, I’ll pick you up in two months” Van opened the door, got out of the car ,and then, her mother left.
“ Oh… “ replied Jackie, obviously not knowing what to say “ Well it’s fine, I’ll just show you around, come on in Van “
Pink, pink everywhere.
“ Think of those two months as a retreat “ Jackie started “ Yes, a fun and cool retreat where you’ll get a bunch of new- um, well, friends and learn to be.. A new you “ Now she just sounds like she’s trying to convince herself Van thought.
And anyway, Van didn’t actually think she wanted to be a “new her” she was (to her surprise) pretty okay with her identity and didn’t want to convince herself that the feelings that she felt her whole life were false and wrong. And most of all, she didn’t want to act like she was even remotely attracted to boys.
“ Anywhooo, we usually wake up around 7am, breakfast at 8 then group therapy until lunch, oh and do not ever drink the milk they give you here it taste like paint “
“ Thanks for the info, and by the way how long have you been here it sounds like you know a lot “
“ Well, we’ve all arrived last week actually, you’re the last one here “ Jakie responded with a smile “ But since I’m the most determined to change and be my most perfect self, Ben made me your guide “ Answer Jackie as she was roaming through the bright pink hallways
“ So you're kind of like the captain, cool cool cool “ Jackie does sound pretty convinced to change, she probably thinks that being gay is the worst , Van thought, poor girl.
“ Not to sound completely ignorant, but , who’s Ben “
“ Oh, Ben Scott is the founder of True Direction! He actually used to be a homosexual as well !“
“ And he just snapped out of it how exactly “ replied Van obviously not convinced.
“ By following the steps, the same one you’ll follow actually “
“ We already all accomplished step one last week, so you're basically the only one left who has to do it! It’s gonna be tots fine though don’t worry about it “ Said Jackie while opening an unsurprisingly bright pink door
“ That's our dorm, you can chill in here and do whatever, but just remember no appropriate behaviour allowed if you know what I mean “
“ Come on Jax, just say we can’t fuck eachother, she’ll understand “ Said a voice behind them. Van turned around to see a brown haired girl with matching brown eyes smirking at Jackie.
“ Ha.ha very funny Shauna”
“My pleasure”
“Come on Shipman, don’t be a dick, and please introduce yourself! “
“ Fine, Shauna Shipman, my mother thinks I’m gay so she sent me here, I’m actually bisexual but who cares, I guess that’s still enough to send me here“
“ Nice to meet you Shauna ,but hey, at least we’ve both got shity moms so that gotta count for something “ replied Van
“ Oh yes the old age curse of gays and shitty parents “ Jackie said smiling at them.
“ Jackie I didn't’ ask but what brought you here “ asked Van, looking at the girl
“ My boyfriend “ she replied, rolling her eyes “He thought our make out sesh weren’t passionate enough and decided to make it everyone’s problem. I c ame here and realised that I was in fact a homo “
“ You can just say lesbian you know, or gay, why does it always have to be homosexual “ said Shauna.
“ What, it’s the same thing “
“ Sound weird when you say it “
“ Oh, shut up Shipman “ laughed Jackie “ Anyways- um, Van you gotta go to Ben’s office to sign papers and other boring stuff. I’ll bring you there. “
…………………….
“ He’ll be here in a few, I have to call my parents, is it fine if Ieave you here?”
“ Yea, I can wait, thanks for the tour Jackie “
“ No problem, see ya “
So there Van was, just in front of Ben Scotts door, waiting for him to open. She heard his voice through the door as it was just loud enough
“- I’m very disappointed girls, after all your efforts, I thought you'd be better than this” other voices started to speak but she couldn’t hear them “- I’m sure you will, that said, no more inappropriate behaviors, understood. Good. “
The door opened and
“ Nat? What are you doing here, I thought you were dead man “ Van exclaimed, shocked to see her best friend after a week of no contact.
“Holy shit Van “ replied the blond girl, hugging her “ No way they got you too, all the gays of Wiskayok are here ”
“ Yea, so the two of us ” Van replied still holding her tightly
“ Looks like you two know each other “ said the tall girl beside her.
“ Yea that’s only my best mate right there, nothing to worry about “ replied Natalie looking at the brunette “ Anyways, we should stop hugging because Ben’s all over my business right now.” she joked while letting go of her “But still, we’ve got a lot of catching up to do “
“ For sure dude, I’m sure it’s been a crazy couple of days for you “
“ Fuck yea it was, anyways, I’ll talk to you latter ”
“ Vanessa Palmer?” Said a man which she assumed was Ben Scott
“ It’s just Van”
“ Welcome to True Direction, Come on in.”