Lovers?

I was by Eddie side the rest of the day not letting him be alone, Bobby was ok with it and allowed me to take the rest of the shift. With everything that going on I haven’t looked at my phone which had a million missed messages and calls some form Maddie but mostly from Blake. I decided to text Maddie first telling here that I am fine then I stepped outside the door to call Blake, and he answered before the first ring could finish. I told him what happened and that I was going to stay with him all night and Blake was ok with it, after I hung up with him I took Eddie home after a very long day. He wanted to stay, but I reminded him that he had Chris at home and he needed his dad right now. So I drove Eddie’s truck home and we both walked in and Carla and Chris were at the table eating dinner, and then Eddie just went to Chris and hugged him and they both cried, me a Carla walked out of the room and then I wished Carla goodbye as she left. Eddie went and put Chris to bed as I washed the dishes and he was just sitting on the couch. I grabbed a beer out of the fridge and heated up so leftovers he had Eddie hasn’t eaten anything at all today. Of course he protested the food but took the beer, after he drank some of the beer then I basically demanded him to eat. He took a couple of bites then he goes on to tell me about Shannon.

The met when they were 14 been in love ever sense then, always on and off but always found there way back to each other. Christopher was born and Eddie decided that that was a great time to get married so they did. They had a hard time with Eddie being in the army and hardly ever home, making Shannon basically a single mom. The last straw was when instead of leave them army at the end of his contract he reenlisted so he could help pay form Chris medical treatment. Shannon mom ended up getting sick and she couldn’t take care of Chris and her mother at the same time so she gave Chris to Eddie’s parents and, that cause even more problems he told me he would tell me another time. When Shannon came back to Eddie and Chris life Eddie was happier I could see, but I could see that something was off in his eyes. They were secretly sleeping with each other not wanting to confuse Chris, but in the end they decided that they wouldn’t work and they were going t file for devoice, the universe had other plans. Eddie tried to change the subject and he asked me about Blake.

“Eddie you don’t care about Blake. You been jealous of him since I told you about him.” with that being said the room lighten up a bit.

“I am not jealous the Edmundo Diaz does not get jealous” Eddie says with the smile

“Right sure so what do you call the way you acted when I told the crew that Blake said the L word” I said and I can see Eddie is blushing

Eddie was speechless and he took a bite of the left overs, I had a smug look on my face and then I walk over to sit next to Eddie now. Our knees were touching and Eddie looked up at me and I go lost in his eyes, then he started to lean in and I wasn’t moving. Why wasn’t I moving I know what he is about to do but I have a boyfriend, but my body doesn’t move, then my phone goes off it was a text from Blake. He wanted to see what I was doing, obviously not about to kiss my best friend, I am glad he texted when he did. If Eddie kissed me again it would be even more awkward between us, I answered the text message and I told Eddie that I should leave. When I got to the door I turned around and I look at Eddie and he has this look of sadness but not because of the death of Shannon. I leave and I realizing I drove Eddie’s car here. I walked back in and Eddie eyes lit up, I told him that I was ordering an Uber and I wasn’t going to wait outside where it was cold. Eddie said that I shouldn’t order the Uber and to just crash on the couch, he starts to grab pillows out of and a blanket. I decided to stay just because I didn’t want to spend money on the Uber and I wanted to make sure Eddie was ok, so I got on the couch and then Eddie went to his room. Before Eddie got to his room I asked if he had a change of clothes I could wear I was still I n my uniform and I was not really wanting to sleep in it. He motioned me to his room and he opened a dresser with some sweat pants they were a light grey color. I asked for a shirt or hoodie and he said that he didn’t have anything that would fit me, I mean I did start hitting the gym more so my shoulders were more border then his. I thank him and walked out but before I closed the door I see him taking off his shirt and I noticed I was starting when I hear a giggle and then I met eye contact with Eddie I walked away fast.

I went to the bathroom to changed decide and went to the couch were called Blake.

“Baby should I be worried?” He asked jokingly but kinda seriously at the same time.

“No why would you say that.

“I mean I would never complain with the lack of clothes you wear. But aren’t you still at Eddie’s house?” he asked and then I realized I took off my shirt which I do before I sleep.

“Yes babe because I would call you naked in another mans bed and then call you without put back on clothes. Babe I just sleep on his couch I stayed over a little later the expected and I didn’t take my car I drove Eddie’s from the hospital.” I said this and I can hear a slight and quite relief noise on the other side

We talk for about an hour with me whisper so I the boys don’t wake up then I decide to go to sleep, then I wake up to fridge door opening at around 2am. It was Eddie grabbing some water, I get up and walk towards him. He kinda jumps when he sees me but not to bad, then he looks me up and down for a second, then I spoke up.

“Hey so how are you about the Shannon.” Eddie is now looking me in the eye

“Still hurts but I think I got all the crying out earlier, but Buck I really want to talk about us…”

“Eddie there is no us I have a boyfriend. There can’t even be an us. We are best friends and thats it.” The fridge door is now closed and Eddie turns on the light over the stove so we aren’t in the dark.

“OK if that is what you truly want but look me in the eye and tell me that you don not have any romantic feelings towards me.” Eddie says this a walks closer to me.

And I look him in the eye and i was about to tell him but then I started to think about us, and then I realize that I am in love with Eddie and I have been for a while now. We just stand there looking at each other and the little distance that is between us is now gone.

“See you can’t even say it. Just admit that you have feelings for me. But I get that you are with Blake and I will not over step, but I am always here.” Eddie says this walks over to the light turns it off.

As Eddie walks past me his hand brushes mine and a shock goes through my body. Just as my feelings for Eddie start to go away he goes to this to me, I am in love with Eddie but it took some time but I go to the point to where I am in love with Blake. I am now back at square one do I want to be with Eddie or Blake, why can’t someone just tell me who to be with and be done. Time to make a pros and cons list who ever has the most pros and less cons will be the one I date. So I open my notes app on my and type Eddie Pros and Cons and then made another tab Blake Pros and Cons.