Chapter 1 - Innovative and Made of Rubber - Daily Life
Finally the dumbass bear left. The sixteen of them stood there dumbfounded.
“Oh balls.” Rick said.
“You said that already.” Elastigirl said.
“Did I?” Rick asked.
“Look, everyone.” Eminem said. “I don’t know how or if any of you are taking that bear seriously, but please for the love of Snoop Dogg don’t kill anyone.”
“Why so serious?” asked The Joker.
“Because I don’t want people to kill other people.” Eminem told him.
“Yeah, I would never.” the among us guy said, looking around nervously and scratching the back of his head. Despite not having eyes. Or hands. Or a head.
“Look, if this is a real school, then there’ll be some rooms for us.” Tony advised. “Why don’t we look around for our rooms.”
“We already know where those are, dipshit.” Cruella said. “We woke up in them.”
“Oh yeah. Well, then, why don’t we take a closer look around?” Tony suggested.
“Separately?” Peter asked.
“Not at all.” MrBeast said. “There’s a risk of being killed if you go solo. Why don’t we split up into groups?”
“A novel idea, Jimmy.” Tony said with a smirk.
“Here. There's sixteen of us. Why don’t we make four groups of four?” Mystique suggested.
“Alright, that works with me.” Aang said.
“Same here.” Chun-li added.
“And I as well.” Baymax said with a wave.
“Well, who wants to team up then?” Eminem asked.
“Harley, my girl, whaddaya say?” The Joker asked.
“Of course Puddin!” Harley said, completely smitten. “Eminem, why don’t you come with us?”
“Fuck, I guess so.” Eminem said.
“Mystique, Peter, Aang, my contestants. How about you come down with me?” MrBeast proposed.
“I’d love to!” Aang said.
“Freaking sweet!” Peter cheered.
“I guess that’s one group settled.” Tony said. “Who’ll come with me?”
“Chun-li and I both will.” Ryu said.
“Rick, wanna tag along?” Tony asked. “Brilliant minds such as ours should stick together!”
Rick nodded. “*BURP* I- uh, alright, then. Just so you know, though, you and I are into totally different kinds of tech.”
“Well, that’s two groups settled.” Darth Vader said.
“We’ll head out now to avoid confusion.” Chun-li said. “See you all later.”
The eight members of the two complete groups split off, one going right and the other going left.
“Well, Harley, who do you want to add to our group?” The Joker asked her. “We’ve got the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, Ted Bundy for dogs, Miss Elasthicc, the shortstack, and the Temu SCUBA diver.”
“Well… I always was a sucker for squishy guys.”
“Baymax it is then.” Eminem concluded. “Yo, robot dude, wanna join our group?”
“I would love to, Marshall.”
“M-Marshall?” Harley asked.
How the in the fucking fuck did this robot know his real name?
“How in the fucking fuck do you know my real name?” Eminem asked.
The robot simply ignored him.
“Your real name is Marshall?” The Joker asked. “BWAHAHAHAHA!”
“Wait. You all are telling me this is my group?” Elastigirl asked.
“Easy, sweetpea.” Cruella de Vil said teasingly. “One more insult and I’ll skin you too.”
“So you do kill dogs.” Darth Vader asked.
“I plead the fifth.” Cruella said, walking away.
“Come on, guys.” The among us guy, who I forgot to mention is called Red, beckoned Darth Vader and Elastigirl. “I managed to get a quick tour of this place before I came here.”
The three of them left, leaving Eminem, Harley Quinn, The Joker, and Baymax in the gym together.
“Well, where do the four of us want to check out first then?” Harley asked.
“I don’t fucking know.” Eminem said. “I haven’t seen around this place before. Let’s just walk around until we find something.”
And so they strolled through hallways of various rooms that I didn’t feel like describing until they reached the kitchen.
The kitchen looked like a kitchen, and there was food everywhere, as is usual with kitchens.
“Anyone know how to cook?” The Joker asked. “I assume we’ll be doing a lot of that for ourselves.”
“I actually make a mean spaghetti. Old family recipe.” Eminem said.
“I can make desserts! Not so much real meals, but it's something.” Harley said.
“Be sure not to eat too much dessert!” Baymax said helpfully. “Sugar can rot your teeth.”
“Why so serious?” asked the Joker.
“I am programmed for healthcare to be my number one concern.” Baymax informed him.
“Well shit, in a killing game, that could be real damn useful!” Harley said. “Is there a medical room or something here?”
“Let’s go look for one.” Eminem suggested.
“Good idea.” Harley agreed.
And so they left to look around the floor, passing another group at times. Eminem heard Cruella continue to bitch about not killing puppies, MrBeast holding more games with his small group, and Tony Stark questioning this fanfic’s writer and why he was being so unfunny.
They finally came across a med room. It had a few small hospital beds on it, along with a medicine cabinet with a few bottles in it. Another cabinet had bandages and neosporin. Another cabinet had more medical things that I didn’t care to list here. Again, fuck you.
Once again, they came upon Cruella de Vil’s group. Darth Vader, Elastigirl, and Red all followed behind her. Elastigirl was limping slightly.
“The fuck are you all doing here?” Eminem asked.
“We could ask the same thing.” Elastigirl accused.
“Yeah, well we asked first, so give it up bitch!” Harley demanded.
“Fine.” Darth Vader confessed. “Helen here got a scratch on something sharp, and so we came to get a bandage to patch it up.”
“Helen?”
Elastigirl stepped forward, allowing a slice on her leg to be seen. It was deep, gushing blood, but clearly non life-threatening.
“What the fuck!?” The Joker said in surprise.
“Miss Parr, please come with me.” Baymax said. “I will help you.”
“Miss Parr?”
Baymax led Elastigirl into the medical room, leaving the other six outside.
“Should we go in?” Darth Vader asked.
“I mean, I guess.” Harley responded.
“Nah, fuck you guys. I’m leaving.” Cruella said.
“Wait, hold on!” Red said. “If you leave, then you could be killed and we’d have no clue!”
“It’s better than spending time with any of you losers.” she scoffed in response, before finally leaving them.
“If she wants to get killed, let her.” Eminem said. “A bitch who skins puppies deserves to die anyway. It’s just…”
“Just what?” asked Darth Vader, as the five of them walked into the room.
“What the fuck makes a scratch that deep?” he asked.
“Beats me.” Red said.
“What room did it show up in?”
“She just started complaining out of nowhere.” Darth Vader said.
“She probably just didn’t notice.” The Joker commented. “Hell, I wouldn’t notice either with a gyatt like that. Harley, why can’t you have a gyatt like hers?”
“Oh, uh, sorry Puddin’. I’ll, uh, try better. Do more squats, y’know?” Harley stammered.
Eminem ignored what The Joker had said; he’d worry about that later. “A gash that deep? I don’t think she’d just not notice.” he added.
“Why so serious?”
Eminem was about to retort, but the conversation halted when they saw Elastigirl and Baymax. He was very efficiently tending to the wound, wrapping a bandage around it and doing more medical things that I once again didn’t care to list.
“Are you alright?” Harley asked concernedly.
“I’m… fine…” Elastigirl said weakly.
“She may have a limp for a few days, but she will be alright.” Baymax said.
“That’s a relief.” Darth Vader said.
All of a sudden, the power went out. Someone screamed loudly.
“What happened?” Red asked.
As I previously stated, the power went out.
“Looks like the power went out.” Eminem noticed, mainly due to the lack of light.
“Is there a way to fix it?” Harley asked.
“Yeah, Red and Elastigirl and I came across a room with a generator in it. It seems like it has panels that control the lighting for each room in this whole place.”
“Well, what are you waiting for?” Eminem asked, grabbing The Extremely Convenient Flashlight™ and flipping it on. “Lead the way.”
Darth Vader nodded, and with everyone following, led the way to the electrical room. As they made their way, though, the flashlight battery began to dim, only running out when they reached the electrical room.
It was extremely tight and crowded. Baymax squeezed inside first to allow some of the thinner people access to the control panel.
POP!
A loud sound pierced everyone’s ears.
“Don’t touch anything unless you know what you’re doing!” Eminem shouted.
“Sorry!” Harley said.
“So, uh, what do we do?” The Joker asked.
“Flip that switch.” Darth Vader said.
“No, flip that one!” Harley argued.
The four of them flipped switches at random, hoping the lights would just magically come back on.
“Guys, please.” Red said, pushing his way to the front. “Allow me.”
Working fast, he flipped all the switches in a perfect order and, in just a few seconds, the lights came back up.
“Hey, great fucking job Red!” Eminem said.
“No big deal.” Red said. “I’ve dealt with a lot of power outages during my time on the Skeld.”
“I think we’re good with tours, if we want to reunite in the gym we ca-”
‘DING DONG BING BONG’
A sound rang out from the loudspeakers, which this school had.
“What’s that?” Harley asked.
“It sounds like someone’s making an announcement.” Elastigirl noted.
“A body has been discovered!” said Monokuma from fortnite’s staticy sounding voice. “Everyone, please report to the electrical room to investigate the crime scene.”
“The electrical room?” Darth Vader asked.
“But… that’s…”
Eminem’s voice trailed off. Slowly, he turned around and beheld the horror that was only a few feet behind him.
The dead, deflated body of Baymax, the Ultimate Healthcare Companion.
With a wound in the direct center of his head.
“Oh balls.” Rick said.