Chapter 1 - Innovative and Made of Rubber - Deadly Life
“What the actual fuck???”
People began to file in slowly, shocked at the sight of Baymax’s deflated body.
“Someone actually killed?” Aang said, dumbfounded.
“It’s only been forty fucking minutes!” Tony noted.
“Alright, who was it?” Eminem shouted. “Someone fess up, right now!”
“Hey, don’t look at me!” Chun-li said.
“Me neither!” Darth Vader said.
“Woah woah woah!” a voice said. “No one confess just yet!”
They all turned. Monokuma from fortnite was now standing on an electrical box in the room, looking down at all the people.
“You!” Eminem said. “This is all your fault. Why’d you do that?”
“It’s the killing game, dumbass! Someone was just playing by the rules. But now it’s time for the investigation!”
“Investigation?” Red asked.
“Yep!” Monokuma from fortnite said excitedly. “All of you here will have the chance to determine who killed Baymax, then vote on who you all believe it is at the class trial! If the majority selects the killer, then the killer will face a punishment. But, if you vote for the wrong person…”
“Then what?” Elastigirl asked.
“Then all of you face punishment, and the killer gets to escape this school - alone.”
“Woah woah woah!” Mystique said. “What do you mean by punishment?”
“You’ll find out!” Monokuma from fortnite said happily. “Upupupu!”
“Get back here! I don’t want to die cause of someone else’s stupid mistakes!” MrBeast screamed.
“That’s too fucking bad, Jimmy!” Monokuma said. “You have as much fucking time as the author feels like giving you to investigate the crime scene. And, since I'm not entirely cruel, I've provided you with the Fortfile - which lists some of the details about Baymax's death. When I make the announcement, meet me in the gym.”
Without another word, Monokuma from fortnite vanished, seemingly into thin air.
“Well shit.” Harley said.
“Oh balls.” Rick said.
“Seriously. You have to stop saying that.” Ryu said coldly.
“Saying what?” Rick asked.
Ryu scoffed and rolled his eyes.
“Alright, everyone listen up!” Eminem said. “I didn’t think one of you bitches would actually pull this shit, but we need to take this seriously. We gotta find that fucking killer, or else.”
“Or else what?” Cruella asked.
“Well, do you really want to figure out what punishment is?”
“Fair point.” Tony said. “I'm with you, Em.”
“The electrical room is far too small for the fifteen of us to be squished into to observe everything, though.” Red said.
“Then we’ll split up again.” Tony said.
“Again!?” Peter asked.
“We’ll take a look at any points of interest in this crime. Some of us can stay here, some can go to the kitchen, others can check out Baymax’s room. We might not turn up anything, but we could, and that’s what’s important.”
“Then we should check out the hospital too.” Harley said. “Baymax was in there as well.”
“Yeah, he healed the cut on my leg.” Elastigirl confirmed.
“Alright, send a crew there then, too.” Tony said.
“Do you really think we’re gonna find something everywhere?” Red asked.
“Honestly? No. But it’s better to be safe than sorry.” Tony said.
“Right you are, Stark.” Ryu said. “Come on, then.”
Everyone broke off into groups. Eminem, Tony, Harley, and The Joker stayed at the electric room. Elastigirl, Red, Rick, and Darth Vader went to the medical room. Aang, MrBeast, Mystique, and Peter went to Baymax's room, and Chun-li, Ryu, and Cruella went to the kitchen.
“So, what first?” Harley asked.
“Harley, leave this to the men, if you please.” The Joker said, placing a hand on her shoulder.
“Oh. I, uh-”
“Don’t worry about it, Harley.” Eminem said. “We’re gonna need all hands on deck here.”
“Agreed.” Tony said. “Here, let’s review the file first.”
Each of them nodded and opened the file.
The victim is Baymax, the Ultimate Healthcare Companion
The victim’s body was discovered in the electrical room.
The cause of death is a puncture wound to the head.
The approximate time of death is 9:30am.
The approximate time of discovery is 9:35am.
Eminem read the file carefully and closed it, noting exactly what it said.
FORTFILE added to evidence files.
Tony walked over to the back to inspect the body. Baymax’s body was covered in a giant pile of Japanese-esque armor. He started taking pieces off the pile and throwing them into another. Finally, all the pieces were cleared, and they looked at the robot without its armor. Tony lifted the deflated body up.
“What the hell are you doing?” Eminem asked.
“He’s a robot. I can fix him.” Tony said. “Besides, there’s no blood or anything. It seems Baymax was filled with air.”
“Air?” The Joker asked.
“That must be what the popping noise was!” Harley said. “It wasn’t someone messing with the electric panels, it was Baymax being attacked!”
POPPING NOISE added to evidence files.
“Yeah, what was he attacked with anyway?” Eminem asked.
“Well,” Tony said, lifting his feet. “I don’t see anything here. The killer must have taken it with them.”
“But the killer had nowhere to go.” Eminem said. “It was too crowded to leave. Does that mean…”
“WHAT-? THE KILLER STILL HAS THE WEAPON?”
MISSING WEAPON added to evidence files.
“H-HOLY SHIT!” Harley screamed. “WE’RE DEALING WITH A REAL PSYCHO HERE!”
“Easy, Harley.” Tony said.
“Calm down, we’ll figure this out.” Eminem turned to Tony. “What else is there?”
“Well, the weapon has to have been extremely small. Take a look at the hole it left.”
Tony held up Baymax’s body. Sure enough, there was a very small hole right between Baymax’s eyes.
“That means it also has to be extremely precise, right?” Eminem said.
“What do you mean?” Harley asked.
“Simple. It was completely dark, and yet the hole it made was right between Baymax’s eyes. There has to have been an easy way to aim it.”
“That makes sense to me,” Harley said.
“And another thing.” Eminem said, continuing. “He has to have been attacked from the front, since his helmet would protect the back of his head.”
MISSING WEAPON file updated.
BAYMAX’S ARMOR added to evidence files.
“All of that sounds accurate to me.” Tony said.
“Why so serious?” The Joker asked.
“Please. Just. Shut the fuck up.”
“Anything else we need to take a look at here?” Eminem asked.
“How about that blackout?” Tony asked. “That’s the reason the killer was given the opportunity to kill.”
“Could it just have been a coincidence?” Harley asked.
“That well timed? I doubt it.” Eminem said. “This shit was planned.”
“Planned?” Harley asked.
“Then who started the blackout?” The Joker asked.
“Who else?” Eminem said. “The killer.”
“And the killer is…?” The Joker asked.
“That’s what the trial is for.” Tony said. “It’ll all come together then.”
BLACKOUT added to evidence files.
“Well, I think that’s all we can cover here then.” Eminem said.
“Should we check up on the other groups?” The Joker asked.
“Yeah, let’s do that.” Eminem said.
The four walked over to the medical room, where both Elastigirl and Red were sitting on beds.
“What are you two doing?” Tony asked.
“My jaw aches like hell.” Red said. “Must be when I tripped earlier.”
It was then that the author realized he did not describe this trip. He facepalmed, and continued writing like nothing had gone wrong, which is what he usually did.
“My leg started acting up again.” Elastigirl said. “I needed to sit down.”
“Your leg? What happened to your leg?” Tony asked.
Elastigirl lifted the bandage. The cut wound was still there, with dried blood around it.
“Holy shit!” Tony said. “Does that hurt?”
“Not too much anymore.” Elastigirl said.
“Thanks to Baymax.” Darth Vader informed.
“Thanks to Baymax.” Elastigirl repeated.
“He is the *BURP* Ultimate Healthcare Companion, after all.” Rick noted. “Or, was, I suppose.”
“Damn. Would’ve been nice to have him around for this jaw thing.” Red complained.
“Take an aspirin and shut up.” The Joker said. “You’re so…”
“Don’t say it.” Tony said.
“...serious.”
“Goddammit.” Tony mumbled.
INJURIES added to evidence files.
“Anything of note here?” Eminem asked.
“There doesn’t seem to be.” Rick said. “Unless you count shelves of cold medicine and a rusty ass pair of crutches as noteworthy.”
“I mean, something here could be a murder weapon, yeah?” Red asked.
“Tony, what do you think?” Eminem turned to Tony, who inspected the various shelves.
“Something sure could be.” Tony said. “Something small, precise, and easy to hide fits plenty of medical things. Needles, scissors, syringes… hell, even a thermometer could puncture Baymax. After all, these things were designed to be small and precise.”
“Makes sense to me.” Elastigirl said.
“Great. That narrows it down to anything in this room.” Darth Vader said. “How wonderful.”
MISSING WEAPON file updated.
MEDICAL TOOLS added to evidence files.
“Well, we’ll leave you guys be.” Tony said. “Rest up, though. We have a long trial ahead of us.”
“Gotcha.” Elastigirl said.
“Good luck with your inspection.” Darth Vader said.
The four of them left the medical room and walked over to the dorm rooms to search for the crew in the kitchen. They went back the way they came from, coming across a pool of blood.
“This must be where Elastigirl was cut.” Harley observed.
“It’s a lot of fucking blood. I’m surprised she wasn’t hurt worse.” Eminem said.
INJURIES file updated.
Eventually they made their way to the kitchen. Ryu and Chun-li were opening cabinets and searching diligently for clues, while Cruella relaxed in the corner, eating something.
“That’s not a dog, is it?” Tony joked.
“I don’t eat my product.” Cruella said.
“Well. Good thing I asked.” Tony scoffed.
“Anything here?” Eminem asked.
“It doesn’t seem like it.” Ryu said.
“Except for…” Chun-li trailed off.
“Except for what?” Harley asked.
“There’s a knife missing from this knife block.” Chun-li said.
She pointed, and their gazes shifted to the knife block on the kitchen counter. Sure enough, there was a block on the counter with a large kitchen knife notably missing from one of the slits.
“That?” The Joker asked. “That was already missing.”
“Wait, for reals?” Harley asked.
“I remember noticing that when we came in here initially.” The Joker explained. “I didn’t think it was important enough to mention.”
“Well, if it was never there, it could just be a red herring.” Eminem said. “Better safe than sorry, though.”
MISSING KNIFE added to evidence files.
THE JOKER’S TESTIMONY added to evidence files.
“Does anything else seem off to you?” Harley asked.
“Nothing else to me, darlings.” Cruella said. “Why don’t you leave me alone and go bother other people? These two have work to do.”
She motioned to Ryu and Chun-li, who stood there, seemingly annoyed at her behavior.
*DING DONG BING BONG*
“It’s the announcements again.” Ryu said. “Must be that bear dude.”
“Attention students!” Monokuma from fortnite announced. “The time to investigate has concluded. Please meet me in the gym, where you will be transported to the trial room!”
“Well, I guess it’s time.” Tony said. “Are you all ready?”
“Ready as I’ll ever be.” Eminem said.
“Same here.” Ryu added. “Let’s get out of here.”
The seven of them filed out of the kitchen and went into the gym, where everyone else was waiting for them there.
“Ah man, I’m nervous.” Aang said.
“This is just like that time I was in that murder mystery.” Peter said.
He stared into the distance, and- is he doing a fucking cutaway gag? In my fucking Danganronpa crackfic? You know what? I’m done. I’m just fucking done. I can’t take this shit. Yeah, fanfic author here, these guys are actually insane. Just a quick note if you didn’t realize already.
“Is he alright?” Mystique asked.
The author sighed, wishing someone would ask that about him.
“Good times.” Peter said with a sigh.
“Alright, let’s get a move on here, alright?” Rick said. “Where the hell is this supposed trial room?”
Suddenly the ground began to shake. Blah blah blah, you know the rest.
“Holy fuck!” Eminem said.
“It’s an elevator!” MrBeast said.
“This must be how we get to the trial room.” Tony said observantly.
“Hang on.” Cruella said. “Are we really going to trust this? We have to figure out the death of someone - a robot, mind you - or we all get killed? It’s a little bit far-fetched to me.”
“Even if it is,” Ryu began, “we need to investigate this and put the killer to justice. If not to do that, then to give Baymax the closure he deserves.”
“Yeah, he healed my leg.” Elastigirl said.
“And he - well, he would’ve helped with my jaw.” Red added.
“Then it’s settled.” Eminem. “We’re going down there and we’re going to figure out who killed Baymax.”
“The robot.” Cruella said in passing.
“I wouldn’t care if Baymax was a fly on the fucking wall.” Eminem said. “We need to solve this murder or we all die. Do you want that, Cruella? Do you want to die?”
Cruella stood in silence, an angry expression painted on her face, before boarding the elevator.
Eminem sighed before stepping into the elevator.
One of the people around him killed Baymax. A person he had met not more than two hours ago - that he had spoken to, no less, was a murderer. Of a robot, sure, but that didn’t matter. He was going to avenge Baymax and save everyone else’s lives. He was sure of it.