Bullying Old Men Pt. 2
After that first mission, the X-Men started inviting Deadpool to more and more missions. At first, it was just stuff they couldn’t do themselves, then it was whenever another member couldn’t make it and now, he had special missions he was requested on. Some of the X-Men group was even so impressed by the surprising intellect he harbored that Deadpool was requested to just come into labs and assist Hank and the other scientists, gaining his input and running trials. It’s been about two weeks since the old Deadpool was “fired”, and he is thriving!
Everything’s great, and it’s all a part of his plan; not a single person is even suspicious of his sudden replacement. Honestly, he can’t see how anything could go wrong.
Something was wrong. Very wrong, and it had Luara stirring, stalking the halls, and sneaking around for days.
All of a sudden, Logan, her dad, cryptically tells her not to visit the apartment until given the okay, and then Wade starts showing up at the X-Mansion all the time and always without her dad in tow. At first, Luara thought that they must’ve had a fight, a big one, and that they needed time apart to let off steam. It made sense, for them being ‘Just Roommates’, they sure bickered and fought like an old married couple, maybe this time one of them had just hit a nerve.
But, as time went on, it felt like so much more than that. Logan had started being much more MIA, not answering calls and only sending one-word replies to texts. Wade was seemingly avoiding Colossus, Yukio, and Ellie; hell, she even texted Al and got an ominous response back from her.
The worst part about all of this, though? It’s that not once has Wade come to say hi to her. He’s spent almost all his time at the mansion and not a single time has he sneaked off to do her nails, or spar, or gossip with her. It’s odd. He used to do exactly that all the time. He would never stop by the Mansion and leave without saying something or spending a little time with her.
Logan might’ve been the one to step up and fight Cassandra, and he might’ve been the one to take on the role as Laura’s dad as soon as she was freed from the void, but Wade was the one to ask and get then out of the void in the first place, and he’s the one that took her and her dad into his life like it was nothing, as if the decision was as easy as breathing. Wade had become another father to her, and several times in the past she had almost slipped and called him ‘dad’ or ‘pops’.
But now, he’s ignoring her, acting like her and their bond doesn’t exist, and that just doesn't sit right with her; it’s not a very Wade thing to do. He’s an all-or-nothing type of guy and had explained and shown several times that they were part of his family now, and his family was everything to him.
So, yeah. Sue her if she thinks something is wrong, and if no one is telling her anything or is doing anything to fix it, she will. She’ll get her pops back.
So here she is, sneaking in a back corner of the X-Mansion, in the wing where a lot of the “Main” X-Men gather to discuss and collaborate, she’s waiting, knowing any moment they’re supposed to come back from a Mission and Wade should be in tow.
As she waits, her mind starts to drift, but she’s thrown back into awareness as laughter is heard from down the hall, and she goes stock still, in full predator mode, waiting for the right time to strike.
Suddenly, Cyclops, Phoenix, Iceman, and Deadpool all walk around the corner and take a seat at the nearby table.
“I’m surprised Wilson, thought you would’ve fumbled that mission…” Scott ever so slightly nods his head in approval.
“Ha! Are you kidding me? And lose that Bet? They don’t call me the Dominant Deadpool for nothing, I could easily incapacitate 20 trigger-happy thugs in less than 7 minutes.” Deadpool waved off, leaning backwards in his chair and crossing a leg over the other.
“Hey Bobby, you owe him that money, you did instigate the bet after all.” Jean nods over to Bobby Drake, who’s sulking at the side
“Ugh! But that was before I knew ‘Pool meant business!” He whined but quickly handed over the money when Jean gave him a stern look. “Fine! Fine! It was impressive, I’ll give ya that.”
“Yeah, I’m still shocked that you-” Luara’s attention was cut short due to a rancid smell that filled the air, it was sharp and lemony and attacked her senses in all of the worst ways. She tried ignoring it to get back to focusing on the conversation in front of her, but the smell just wouldn’t go away. It was so bad she didn’t know if she would start gagging or clawing her brain out to get the smell away from her heightened senses.
She does get to make that choice as her body betrays her, ruining everything with a loud sneeze.
The room goes quiet, and chairs are heard moving. Fuck.
“Well, it seems we have a sneaky little fox in here with us, go ahead and show yourself, hide and seeks over.” The merc clad in red spoke, a sense of dread filled Laura’s body when she heard it and she realized at that moment that, she absolutely did not want to be in the room with this man for any longer than she had to.
She reluctantly pulled herself from her hiding spot and kept her eyes firmly on the floor, on one hand, to play the guilty student role and on another hand, to not make eye contact with that Deadpool.
“Laura! Young lady! What are you doing here? You know this area is off limits to students!” She’s immediately chastised by Jean Grey, an X-Man that she already has a rocky relationship with on terms of not liking psychics and Laura has to physically stop herself from bristling and lashing out. Right now, is not the time, she has to get out of here.
“Ah Mini-Wolverine! How’s it going? Stab anyone recently?” The masked man asks, and she does everything in her power to not go “Yea, you” and stab him right through his smug face. It’s also at this time that she realizes the smell that blew her cover is coming from this man, it’s super strong. Seriously, how can no one else smell it?
“Wade please, now’s not the time. Laura, Jean is right, please explain yourself right now.” Scott’s voice cuts in ending that interaction before it happens.
“I uh-just wanted to ask you a question, about our next sparing session, Professor Summers…” She gracefully pulls out of her ass and not like a stuttering mess at all.
“While I appreciate your tenacity and commitment to your study, we just came back from a mission and need to debrief first. Even X-Men need time to decompress, it’s a very important lesson for all students to learn. Meet me in my office at 4pm if you still wish to ask it okay?” Scott compromises and Laura only nods before she’s sent away and out of the X-Men’s wing of the Mansion.
Laura finds herself in her dorm pacing and jotting any notes down that she did get from that interaction, but most just consists of scribbles such as “Dominant Deadpool??? Who the fuck calls him that? Mission? Citrus? Orange? Lemon? Lemongrass?Lemon basil?Lemon thyme?Lemon balm? Citronella grass!?!?!?”
The young Wolverine growls, snaps her pencil in half and is just about to give up for the day when she hears a voice from inside her head. The Professor…
“Forgive me, young Laura. I know that we agreed I’d communicate and call for you using our sound system instead, but I’m requesting you to my office for a special meeting, one I don’t want anyone or any unwanted guests in the estate to hear. Please, report to my office immediately.”
She shakes herself from the shock of essentially having her mind invaded and pulls herself together. Maybe the Professor knows something, and if not, maybe she can use whatever they’re about to talk about as leverage in order to get him to do some digging. Either way, she’d find out.
Laura carefully sneaks her way through the dorm area and through the halls to where Charles Xavier’s office rests, doing her best to remain undetected. She takes a deep breath before opening the door and prepares herself for anything. “Lets fucking go, maximum effort…”
Opening the door, she’s surprised to see it’s not just her inside with the professor. The first one she sees with her eyes is Colossus because he’s in his metal form and at this point, is just a huge chrome landmark. Next to him are Yukio and Ellie, who give her a little wave and salute, respectively.
But the first one her other senses notice is on the opposite side of the room, and is her dad. Logan sits in his civilian clothes, with bags under his eyes and a bouncing leg that just won’t rest. All of this to say, it’s been two weeks since she’s seen him and it looks like it’s been two weeks since he’s slept, he looks like shit.
But regardless, that’s still her dad, she’s seen Logans look a lot worse anyway, so she immediately b-lines for him and he stands up, meeting her halfway and pulls her into a tight hug.
“Hola Mija,” he says, voice rough either from disuse or too much usage, she can’t quite infer.
“Hola, papa…” She hugs him a bit tighter and, from the comfort of his chest, asks all of the questions that have been bouncing around in her head the moment she walked across the threshold of this room, “Why is everyone here? Why did I get called in? Is this because of Wade? Where is he?”
Logan stands up a little straighter and raises an eyebrow at her, “You already know about Wade?”
She nods, “That’s not him out there, doesn’t act or smell like him.”
It’s Logan’s turn to nod, “Yea, he doesn’t smell like cancer and smell like Axe Body Spray, it’s how I first found out it wasn’t our Wade…”
The smaller of the Wolverines tilts her head in confusion, “Smells like Axe? Not today? He smelled bad, lemony, but if it was awful and made to attack your senses, like citronella grass maybe?”
Logan makes a face of confusion and hums in consideration, but their thinking is cut off by a voice.
“Citronella grass? Maybe he was wearing an oil or perfume? Isn’t citronella oil a natural wolverine repellent?” Yukio suggests, and everyone looks at her questioningly.
Ellie smirks and elbows Yukio, “Babe, how do you know that?”
Yukio raises her hands in defense, “What? Wade needs someone to rant to when Logan pisses him off and he just so happens to be a Wolverine expert, he threatens to buy it and spray it all over the house to get back at Logan all the time, says the only reason why he won’t do it because Laura visits and she and I quote ‘shouldn’t be punished for her big stupid smelly ancestor’s mistakes’”
A light growl rises in Logan’s throat, but it cuts off when he realizes there’s no one here to direct that frustration at, its honestly really sad to see in real time how dull his eyes got, like the weight of the past weeks without their regularly scheduled chaos have really taken their toll.
“Wait…why would that guy be wearing a natural wolverine repellent? I thought he was avoiding Laura too?” Colossus chimes in, confused until Logan clears his throat and almost shyly explains, “He might’ve noticed me following him around. I wanted to see what he was up to and if he would lead me to anything that would tell me what happened to Wade.”
“And did you figure out anything, Dad? Where’s Wade?” Laura eggs him on, hoping to finally get some answers.
All Logan does is lower his head in shame, “Couldn’t figure anythin' out. Guess all I got was his detection and a potent warning via smell telling me to stay away.”
“So…” Laura finally turns to Professor X, who’s been silently observing and listening to the discussion in the room. “Why are we here, Professor?”
Charles clears his throat and explains, “I’ve gathered you all here today on behalf of a special guest who reached out to the school in request for help, I’m sure you’re familiar with her.” He extends a hand out and towards his right, near where Logan was sitting, and Laura finally sees who else has been sitting here all along. Vanessa Carlysle.
Laura moves to give her a hug and questions, “Vanessa? Why are you here? How did you know Wade was gone?”
Vanessa removes herself from the hug to look Laura in the face, “Someone isn’t as knowledgeable about Wade’s life as he thinks he is, and therefore thought that Wade and I had gotten back together. So, the fuck face out there crawled into my apartment without a text and told me he was “DTF” and I punched him so hard in the face he blacked out for a couple of minutes…yea let’s just say after that, I called Logan, and he told me everything he knew.”
Laura stared at her for a few seconds, starstruck, before her face turned to confusion, “He didn’t know that you and Wade were just friends? How the fuck did her plan on taking over Wade’s life if he didn’t even know shit?”
Charles cuts in, “If I may- from what I can gather from my sources, I believe this Deadpool only has a limited knowledge of events that have occurred in this universe, stopping sometime after Wade and Logan saved our universe from being ripped to shreds. It would help to explain his gaps in knowledge.
“But it doesn’t explain why he thought we were gonna go to bone town? We were already broken up by then.” Vanessa asks.
“Well…for a minute, at least I thought you two were gonna get back together or that he at least was going to try to go after ya…so maybe that’s what he thought too...” Logan mutters awkwardly, rubbing his neck in embarrassment.
Vanessa smirks at him, “Oh please, and get between him and his ‘roommate’?” She uses finger quotes around the word roommate and continues, “Everyone knows you two aren’t five feet apart in a hot tub.” The younger three mutants cackle as Colossus and Charles Xavier look around in confusion, and a very prominent red blush rises and covers Logan’s entire face.
“Alright. Cut the shit everyone, are we here to make fun of me or to get Wade back?” Logan grumbles, sitting back down in his chair and folding his arms over his chest.
“Who says we can’t do both?” Ellie smirks beside Yukio, who’s humming, though it doesn’t pass over anyone’s head what the humming actually is, ‘Logan and Wade, sitting in a tree, K-i-s-s-i-n-g’
The Professor smoothly takes back over the conversation, ending the taunting and sparing Logan from any more blood rushing up to his face. “Enough, let’s spare him a little dignity. Logan is right, though, we need to focus on how to get Wade back, and to figure out what to do with the imposter that even now dwells in the Mansion.”
“Alright, where do we get started?” Vanessa cracks her knuckles and leans forward in her chair, with an air to her that lets everyone know that she means business.
“Well, you were all called in here because you have a bond with our Wade, you’d be able to locate him the easiest, and as he isn’t exactly a mutant, I can’t track him down using Cerebro.”
“Alright…no biggie, we just have to figure out how to track down an experienced time traveling universe hopping pain in the ass anchor being. This will be eeeaaasssyyy.” Laura rolls her eyes. They’re still no closer to their goal than before they started.
A bit of mumbling from the others is heard until Vanessa stands up, exclaiming, “Wait! Aha! Say that again Laura!”
The youngest mutant in the room cocks her head in confusion, “You mean my sarcastic comment?”
Vanessa only nods excitedly, “What did you just call Wade?”
Slowly Laura repeats herself, “An experienced time traveling universe hopping pain in the ass anchor being?”
“Exactly! An Anchor being!” Vanessa celebrates, and soon the realization starts to dawn on everyone.
“I’m only half of an anchor being, Wade is the other half…and anchor beings always have tabs kept on them!” Logan starts to put the pieces together.
“So, if we want to know where an Anchor being is…we just have to go to a place where they’re tracked.” Colossus deduces.
And suddenly they’re all shouting, “THE TVA!”
Finally! They have a lead, “And! I know just who to ask! I think Peter is still dating Judge B-15.” Vanessa does a little dance in place and pulls out her phone.
A small wave of relief washes over Laura, and she allows herself to have a bit of hope, to believe that very soon, they’ll have Wade back. Right where he belongs.
Home.