Red is Sus
The first thing Logan noticed when he walked into the apartment was the scent. He was used to their home smelling like his musk, decaying peaches courtesy of the whatever fruit-scented body soap that comes in a cat shaped bottle that Wade insists on using mixed with his cancer, and old lady shampoo, and for the most part, it did.
Only, something different now. There’s a new scent, is-is that Old Spice? Who did they know that wore anything Old Spice?
Logan tilted his head upwards and sniffed the air once again, and upon getting the same smell again, he immediately went into fight mode, unsheathing his claws. If someone decided today that they were going to rob the Wolverine and Deadpool in their own home, they were going to desperately wish they hadn’t.
With a loud SNIKT, he releases his claws and slowly inches further into the apartment, on high alert and ready for any intruders.
When he enters the living room all he sees is Wade in his full Deadpool costume, he must be either leaving for or coming back from a job, though it is odd for Wade to choose to do 2 jobs in one day (something about ‘self care’ and him learning not to overwork himself, especially when they don’t need the money, which don't tell anyone but Logan is actually proud that the loudmouth is practicing what he preaches for once).
Wade is riffling through a duffle bag that’s sat on the couch with an intense focus, so much so that he doesn’t sense Logan staring at him. Logan sniffs the air again and realizes the Old Spice smell is coming from Wade, huh, that’s weird, it’s been roughly six months since he's moved into Wade’s home and not once has the merc changed the soap he uses. Logan wants to ask him what’s with the change but is way too embarrassed because he’s pretty sure it’s weird to ask your best friend why he smells differently. That’s creepy, right? So instead, he decides to make his presence known by clearing the throat.
“You’re takin’ up all the space on the couch, Red” Logan mutters, to get his attention.
The merc looks up and Logan can just tell that he is smirking beneath the mask, “Ah! Wolverine! How’s it going hairball? Viciously rip someone apart like the rabid dog you are or was today a day off for ya? Perhaps you spent it starting more hopeless love triangles instead?” he laughs, wiping his eyes before yelling a “Classic!” into the air, finishing whatever he was doing with that duffle bag.
Logan paused, was-did-did Wade just make fun of him? That wasn’t their usual banter or teasing they’d do, it was, well in juvenile terms...mean. Mean in a way that he’s never heard from the merc, even when things were tense in the Void or when Wade is having a really bad day and becomes incredibly bitchy, he never brings up Logan’s past like that, never treats him like a wild animal. It hurt.
There was something unusual though, something setting off alarms in the back of his mind. He pushed the feeling to the side momentarily, refusing to be silent for too long and to let him know that the insults affected him.
He let out a low warning growl, spitting out coldly, “Everyday I wish that I could find a way to permanently sew your mouth shut just so I could get one moment of fucking bliss, bub.” It’s a low blow, for as much as he talks, Wade is insecure of being too much around his friends/family, he’s admitted so on late nights when they were both up way too late, besides contrary to popular belief, Logan likes to hear Wade talk, he likes how it quiets the screaming in his own head and if it makes Wade feel seen, then that's just a small added bonus.
Logically, he knows he should just ask Wade what’s wrong so they can have a mature, grown up conversation and figure out what’s with the weird manufactured tension building up between the two right now, but he’s at least big enough to admit to himself that he’s still a little hurt over the comments and therefore chooses to be petty. See? The Wolverine can be petty too.
The…Wolverine…did Wade call him that earlier? Instead of Logan or some other ridiculous nickname? When was the last time he addressed him as the Wolverine and only the Wolverine? Has he really ever done that before? Maybe in combat but that’s usually when Wades talking ABOUT Logan, not TO him.
The alarms in his head are set off again, this time more intensely as something dawns on him.
Deadpool laughs at Logan before condescendingly announcing, “Well boy, while I’d love to exchange blows with you, in more ways than one if you know what I mean I’ve got some work do. Don’t wait up.” He saunters past the Wolverine and out the door, before Logan can get another word in.
He doubts he’d be able to act on anything right now anyways, as a single thought keeps him shackled to his spot on the stained carpet of their apartment floor.
That’s not his Wade…
Logan sat on the sofa in their living room, as he tried to figure out what to do with the imposter. The more Logan sat there, the more he thought and the more he kicked himself for not realizing that wasn’t their Wade from the very beginning. He had the same voice, height, body shape, and hell, the same heartbeat as his Wade. But there was one major factor that should’ve set him off immediately, he didn’t smell the cancer that usually clung to Wade at all.
He put his head in his hands, shielding his eyes from the dingy light and himself from the world. Then he thought again, accessing his surroundings and the scene that had played out in front of him, the smell of Wade was still strong when he came in, and it’s only ever that strong when the person A. Is in the building or B. has recently been in it. So, considering the only heartbeat he heard was the false Deadpool’s, he can infer that Wade must’ve been in the apartment sometime recently, and might’ve even seen this alternate Deadpool.
Now he just has to find out what happened to this universe’s Deadpool and to decide what to do next.
With a closer look around the apartment, Logan can make a few more assessments. For example, that duffle bag he had is one that Wade keeps extra ammo and guns in, ones that he needs when he goes on larger missions, Logan would know as Wade usually brings him as back up to those Missions as well.
Secondly, he finds a smashed picture frame on the floor and bends down to pick it up. Upon further inspection, he sees that it’s a picture of Wade, he’s smiling carefree in the picture and Logan instantly recognizes when it was taken. He takes the picture out of the frame and turns it around, it’s a double-sided picture that Wade had printed out when he was testing the printer and photo paper he had impulsively bought. On one side is Wade smiling during one of their group game nights and on the other is of him and Logan, arms slung over each other’s shoulders smiling wide with red faces, it was taken the same night, after they had absolutely decimated their friends in Uno Teams.
Logan shoved the picture in his pocket and moved to clean up the glass, he couldn’t tell if a struggle happened here, or if the frame was broken on purpose or even just by accident, but what he did know is that if he didn’t clean it up, Althea or Mary Puppins would end up stepping on it. And…oh god Al, he has to take care of her before he can focus on the imposter running around town. He wants to go out right now and track down that sweet and bitter peach scent, to bring Wade home and to beat the shit out of this fake, but he knows that Wade would find a way to permanently kill him if he didn’t make sure Althea was safe first.
It didn’t take long for Logan to devise a plan and for Althea to show up, home from a day out shopping with Puppins.
As soon as she walked through the door, she made a face of disgust and sniffed the air. “What the fuck is that smell? Why does it smell like an insecure playboy wannabe white man in here.”
“Hey Althea, it’s Wade.” Logan acknowledges her, walks over to her and gently guides her to the sofa, she follows willingly as Logan rarely openly acts this affectionate to…well anyone.
“Oh what did the bastard do this time?” Althea rolls her head back in annoyance, while Mary, sick of being held, jumps out of her hold and runs to Logan, wagging her tail and begging for pets.
Petting Mary actually helps him calm down and prepares him for this next part. It’s not every day you have to tell an elderly woman her 40 year old pseudo son is missing. He takes a deep breath before confessing, “It’s more about what he hasn’t done, which is come home.”
“The fuck are you talking about Logan, and what the fuck does that have to do with the smell in the air?” She flicks his forehead, which with her being blind and all, lands more so on his cheek, but he doesn’t dodge either way.
“Look, this is going to sound crazy and I promise, I’m not crazy. I’m not drunk or high or inebriated in any way.” Logan starts and to Althea, this is already starting to sound crazy.
“Well spit it out, and don’t you fucking beat around the bush. I may be old but I can handle a little crazy, I deal with you and Wade on a regular.” She grumbles the last part, not quiet enough to even pretend like she didn’t want Logan to hear it.
Logan nods, then realizing she can’t see it, verbally affirms then continues, “When I came home today, I found Wade in the apartment, he looked busy but I still thought that he’d want to talk, but Althea, his smell, the way he spoke, I’m positive that wasn’t Wade. He had the same heartbeat and everything but there’s no way that was him. M-our Wade was here earlier, I can smell it, but I can’t figure out what happened next. And I’m afraid that fake did something to Wade and I want to hunt the motherfucker down or to just find our idiot but I can’t leave you here. Althea, I don’t want you to stay in the apartment with that man, with someone who’s not our Wade.” Logan breathes out, voice and everything now shaky.
He only flinches a bit when he feels a hand on his shoulder, Altheas looking at him seriously. “Baby, Look at me.” To let her know that he's paying attention, he turns his full body towards her, “Are you positive this isn’t our Wade?”
Logan swallows, it’s suddenly hard to speak, “I-I just know it. I can get second opinions, but I don’t want to risk you being in the house with him if he’s dangerous. Please Al, you know Wade would want to make sure that you’re safe. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself if something happened to you…and I wouldn’t either.”
Wade often jokes about how he has the tendency to take home strays, the strays being Logan and Mary Puppins. But to Logan, that pattern seems to better fit Althea. She is always making everyone who walks into their home feel welcomed and safe. She gave Wade a home and in turn was generous enough to give Logan one as well. Logan’s grown attached to Althea too, he can tell why Wade loves her so much, why even though they bicker and argue nonstop, Wade would do anything for that old hag. Logan can’t help but agree.
Althea soothingly rubs his shoulders and Logan begins to tear up, when was the last time someone was this gentle, this motherly with him? It’s hard for him to remember. “Alright, I assume you already have a safe house lined up? Can’t send me on a fancy trip to Vegas instead?”
Logan smiles at her and playfully elbows her, “I called Dopinder, he’s got a place set up already. I’ll text him to let him know to come over, while you pack some bags.” He looks down at the dog now asleep in his lap and sighs while scratching her behind the ears, “You’ll need to take the dog too, she’s a vicious beast, no ankle stands a chance against her.”
Logan throws the last of Al’s bags in the back of Dopinder’s trunk and leans into the passenger seat window, where Al is ready to go, Mary nestled cozy in her lap.
“Thanks again Dopinder, I’ll keep you updated on everything.” Logan says, handing him a wad of cash.
Dopinder accepts before nodding, “Anytime Mr. Wolverine, it’s your job now to get Mr. Pool back home safely to us. Or well…knowing you guys it’ll be much bloodier and definitely not safe at all!” He says with a smile.
“You know us well, now uh-what does Wade do? Five?” Logan holds out a hand confusedly and Dopinder lights up, high-fiving Logan before cheering loudly.
Logan turns to Althea, who’s been uncharacteristically quiet and not bitchy at all. “Al, you alright?”
Althea turns to him and Logan swears, it’s like she’s looking past his eyes and into his soul. “You be careful alright Logan? We don’t know who that man is or what he’s done to Wade, so promise me that if you need it, you call for help. Call the X-men, call Vanessa, call someone. Please. Promise me.” She grabs his hand, holding on tight and Logan squeezes back, not enough to hurt her, just so she can feel the pressure of his hand.
“I promise. I wouldn’t risk Wade’s safety like that.”
“Or yours dumbass, you think Wade wouldn’t be happy if something happened to me? He sure as hell wouldn’t be happy if something happened to you either. Please, I’ve seen that man go through enough hardship and too much pain. He’s had enough loss. Do NOT become another thing he loses.” She pats his hand before letting go and leaning back in her seat.
Logan moves to turn, ready to back up so the cab can pull off before Althea stops him, “Oh Logan! One more thing?”
His attention immediately turns back to her, “Yeah?”
She goes quiet before smiling at him, “Bring my boy back in one piece, will you? I know a break from the noise is peaceful but home wouldn’t be the same without it. He’s like you, he’s one of the good ones.”
Logan smiles at her before replying, “Don’t worry, I’ll bring him back, loudmouth and all…”
And with that Logan stepped backwards and watches as Dopinder peels out of the apartment complex, leaving Logan alone and ready to start his search.