The Panic Room
Arthur hadn’t planned for it to be this bad.
He had set out to do something simple, something he told himself would be easy. Tony had asked him to grab a few supplies for the team, nothing too complicated. The list was short. Simple. But here he was, standing in the middle of a bustling store, and it felt like the walls were closing in.
It was just supposed to be a quick trip—grab the essentials, check out, and head back to the compound. But every noise, every voice around him felt too loud, too close. The people moved past him in a blur, their footsteps echoing in his ears as his heartbeat began to pound in his chest. The lights overhead flickered occasionally, their hum sending tiny shocks through his overstimulated senses.
Arthur’s hands gripped the shopping cart tighter, knuckles white. His legs were restless, shifting constantly beneath him. The simple task of checking the list felt like too much. His eyes darted from shelf to shelf, trying to focus, but everything was moving too fast. He was overwhelmed by the sheer amount of choices, the number of people brushing past him, and the noise—the noise was unbearable.
His leg started bouncing. Up and down, rhythmically tapping against the cart, as if it could somehow ground him. But it didn’t help. The anxiety began to creep in, cold and heavy, settling in his chest like a stone. He tried to breathe, but it felt shallow, not enough to calm the storm building inside him.
His vision started to blur at the edges. He blinked hard, trying to focus, but it was no use. The world felt too bright, too loud, too everything. Each thought was like a jumbled mess that he couldn’t untangle, swirling faster and faster in his mind. Did I get everything? What if I forget something? What if I get stuck here? What if I—
His chest tightened, the air in the store feeling thinner by the second. He could feel the panic rising, crawling through his veins, suffocating him. His heart rate spiked, thumping wildly in his ears. He couldn’t breathe. His mouth felt dry, and his throat closed up as the thoughts whirled around, out of control.
Stop. Stop. Breathe.
He tried to calm himself, tried to remind himself that he had done this a thousand times before. But it wasn’t working. The pressure in his chest was growing, the feeling of being trapped becoming too much to bear. His leg was still bouncing, frantic now, tapping the cart faster, harder.
Arthur’s vision blurred even more. He could feel his hands shaking, the cart slipping slightly from his grip as his mind spiraled. It felt like he was falling, but there was no way to stop it. The walls of the store were closing in. He couldn’t think, couldn’t focus. The noise—the people—everything was too much.
He needed to get out. He had to leave. Now.
Without thinking, Arthur jerked the cart away and started moving, his pace quickening as he weaved through the aisles. His breaths came faster, more shallow. The world was spinning around him, the fluorescent lights flickering overhead. His body was trembling with each step. He needed to escape.
He wasn’t sure how far he walked or how he managed to get out of the store. All he knew was that he needed space—quiet. But the closer he got to the door, the more his vision began to fade at the edges, the harder it became to breathe.
And then, without warning, he was outside.
Arthur’s legs were unsteady, but he kept walking, faster now. He couldn’t stop. His head felt heavy, like it was full of cotton, and his heart was racing in his chest. The cool air hit him like a slap to the face, but it did nothing to clear the fog clouding his thoughts. His mind was still reeling, spinning out of control.
He stumbled around the corner of the building, seeking refuge, trying to put some distance between himself and everything. The city felt loud, unforgiving. He needed to be somewhere quiet. Somewhere far from the noise.
An alleyway. It wasn’t much, but it was secluded. He pushed through the narrow space between the buildings, his chest tight, the panic still gripping him.
Arthur finally came to a stop, his back pressed against the brick wall. His body was shaking now, his leg still bouncing frantically, like a spring winding tighter and tighter. He could feel the panic rising, and there was nothing he could do to stop it. He wanted to scream, to do something, but all he could manage was to clutch his chest, trying to force his breath to slow.
This is stupid. This is stupid. Get it together. You’ve done this before. You’re fine. You’re fine.
But it didn’t feel fine. It didn’t feel anything close to fine.
His breaths were still shallow, his chest tight with each gasp of air. His leg wouldn’t stop moving, and now, he could feel his fingers shaking, too. The panic was consuming him, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t make it stop.
I can’t breathe. I can’t breathe.
He slid down the wall slowly, feeling the cool concrete press against his back as his knees buckled. His chest heaved, the pressure almost unbearable, and his mind raced faster than ever before. What if I can’t get up? What if I can’t calm down? What if this is it?
Arthur squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out everything—the noise, the world, the thoughts. His leg was still bouncing, like it was trying to move the anxiety out of him, but it wasn’t enough. Nothing was enough. The panic was relentless, gnawing at him from the inside, and he couldn’t escape it.
His breathing came in sharp bursts, his chest still tight, and everything around him felt like it was closing in.
I’m alone. I’m alone.
Arthur felt tears sting his eyes, but he quickly blinked them away, ashamed. He didn’t want to feel this weak. He didn’t want to admit that he couldn’t handle it, that the simple act of shopping had brought him to this point.
But no matter how many times he tried to remind himself that it would pass, the panic still roared. The anxiety had him trapped, and he was helpless against it.
Minutes passed—maybe more, maybe less—and the world around him seemed to get quieter. The panic, though, remained. It clung to him, a shadow that wouldn’t let go. His leg continued bouncing, reminding him of the anxiety surging within him. The sound of car horns, footsteps, talking, doors opening, a fight happening a few blocks away - It was too much. His chest hurt
Arthur rested his head against the wall, trying to force his thoughts into something manageable. His ears rang and the alley was quiet now. Too quiet. Alone.
It didn’t make him feel better. It didn’t make the panic go away.
He was still there, still trapped in his own mind, ears still ringing, and his heart pulsating in his ears.
To be continued…