Lost in the Noise
Arthur's body was still trembling, his chest heaving with shallow breaths as he sat hunched in the alleyway. The world around him was muffled, but his mind was loud. His thoughts scrambled over one another, a mess of panic and exhaustion. He wanted to curl up into a ball and hide from the chaos that gripped him, but even that simple act seemed impossible.
His leg was still bouncing—an unrelenting reminder of the storm inside him. His hands gripped his knees so tightly that his knuckles ached, but it didn’t stop the shaking. His breath came in jagged gasps, each one harder to catch than the last. His eyes were squeezed shut, fighting off the tears that had long since started to fall. The quiet of the alley should have been calming, but it only highlighted how completely alone he felt.
His mind screamed at him to pull himself together, to stand up and walk back to the compound, but he couldn’t. The panic was suffocating him, and he was too exhausted to move.
A strangled sob escaped him, the sound of it raw and heavy. He hadn’t meant to cry, but the weight of it all—being so far from home, being stuck in his own head, in his own mind—was too much. His shoulders shook, his breath hitching as the tears came harder now.
Get up. Get up.
The voice inside him was a whisper beneath the roar of the panic, but it didn’t help. Nothing helped. He didn’t know how much longer he could stay there, alone with nothing but his racing heart and the overwhelming pressure in his chest.
Meanwhile, Inside the Compound
"Has anyone seen Arthur?" Tony's voice rang out through the common area, a mix of concern and frustration lacing his words.
The team had finished their morning debrief, and Arthur’s absence hadn’t gone unnoticed. He wasn’t the type to skip out on the team, especially not when they needed him. Tony had sent him on a simple errand—pick up a few things for the lab—but Arthur had been gone longer than expected.
“He should’ve been back by now,” Tony continued, looking around at the Avengers, who were scattered around the room. “Has anyone heard from him?”
Steve glanced up from the table where he was going over some reports. He’d noticed Arthur’s absence too, but hadn’t thought much of it at first. Arthur was, after all, someone who liked his space, someone who sometimes needed time to himself. But this was different. This felt off.
“No,” Steve replied, frowning. “I haven’t heard anything. I’ll go check his room.”
"I don’t think that’s necessary, Steve," Tony said, though his tone was edged with a growing sense of unease. "We’ve got a comm link on him, right?"
"Yeah," Steve replied, tapping his earpiece, "but I can’t get through. It’s... it’s like it’s not even on."
Tony’s brow furrowed. “I don’t like this. Maybe we should check the store...”
Before Tony could continue, Bucky, who had been quietly watching from the corner, stood up. He had a look of quiet concern on his face, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. He exchanged a brief glance with Steve before turning to Tony.
“I’m going after him,” Bucky said, his voice low but firm.
Steve gave a nod of agreement. He didn’t like the idea of Arthur being out there alone, especially not in the state he had been in recently. The anxiety that had been creeping up on Arthur lately was something they had all noticed, but no one knew how deep it really went.
Tony sighed, raking a hand through his hair. “Fine, fine. Just... be careful. If he’s still out there, we need to find him.”
“I will,” Bucky replied, already moving towards the exit.
Steve followed him closely, not wasting another second. Both of them had a feeling—an instinct—that something wasn’t right. They had been through enough together to know when someone was in trouble, even if that someone didn’t want help.
Arthur’s breaths were becoming shallow, each one harder than the last. His body was drained, his mind a whirlwind of thoughts and feelings that he couldn’t make sense of. He wanted to stop crying, wanted to stop shaking, but his body wouldn’t listen. It was like his mind had become a cage, and no matter how much he clawed at the bars, he couldn’t escape.
All he wanted was to feel okay, to breathe without the pressure in his chest, to not feel so utterly out of control. But the world felt like it was spinning, his body out of sync with the ground beneath him. His leg was still bouncing, but it felt like it was a part of him now—an extension of the chaos inside.
Suddenly, he heard footsteps.
Arthur stiffened, his heart thundering in his chest. His eyes snapped open, the tears still streaking down his face, but he couldn’t see who it was. He didn’t want to see anyone—not now, not like this. He wanted to curl up and disappear, to pretend that none of this was real.
The footsteps came closer.
“Arthur?”
The voice was familiar, soft and steady. Bucky’s voice. It broke through the fog in Arthur’s mind, but he couldn’t respond. He couldn’t move, couldn’t even think straight.
“Arthur, hey, it’s me,” Bucky said again, gentler this time. He crouched down in front of Arthur, his expression a mix of concern and understanding.
Arthur blinked rapidly, trying to focus on Bucky’s face, but everything felt so far away. He couldn’t make his legs stop shaking, couldn’t stop his breath from coming in sharp, gasping bursts.
“You’re okay,” Bucky reassured him, his voice steady. “You’re okay. Just breathe with me.”
Arthur felt a hand on his shoulder, grounding him, pulling him back to the present. He wanted to believe Bucky, wanted to believe that everything was going to be fine, but the panic was still there, gnawing at him.
Bucky gently guided him to sit upright, one hand on Arthur’s knee, trying to steady the restless leg. The words were familiar—breathe with me—but in this moment, Arthur wasn’t sure if he could. His whole body felt like it was in fight-or-flight mode, every fiber of him screaming to run, to escape.
But Bucky stayed with him, quiet, patient, offering what comfort he could.
“Focus on me, Arti. We’ll get through this, okay?”
Arthur’s breath shuddered, his vision swimming, but he nodded. It wasn’t much, but it was enough.
To be continued…