Five Times Natasha Doubted Her Place and One Time She Didn't

Marvel Cinematic Universe The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
G
Five Times Natasha Doubted Her Place and One Time She Didn't
author
Summary
Natasha Romanoff can handle anything that comes her way. She's a trained assassin and world class spy. Unfortunately working alongside superhumans puts her in a whole different league. How is she supposed to compete with gods?
Note
Hii! Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoy.General warning for flashbacks, suicidal ideation, panic attacks, dissociation and negative self talk all throughout this work.
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The Interview

Hair and makeup were non-negotiable. Natasha might be the perfect interviewee, always able to steer a conversation in the right directions and entertain the audience but she wasn't about to allow a horde of unfamiliar people to cover her in eyeshadow and contour. Instead she sat alone, perched in front of the mirror as she carefully touched up her mascara. The hustle and bustle of the studio was reduced to a consistent humming the background as she focused on herself.

An assistant, part of the endless stream of interns that roamed places like this, approached her. Clipboard in hand. "Excuse me? Miss Romanoff?"

"Yes?"

"Here's a list of the general topics we're hoping to cover. If anything's a problem just give me a yell before we start okay?" The clipboard was passed to her and the intern had run off before she could even nod her affirmation.

A quick glance confirmed all she needed to check. She'd already had two phone calls and three separate emails discussing this interview. The arguments with the rest of the avengers on their public image had been lengthy and interviews like this were bound to help encourage support. They'd discuss New York, how it felt being a part of the team and a little about each avenger.

Soon enough she was seated in the leathery orange seat across from a blonde woman who seemed to be permanently smiling. The interviewer seemed nice enough, hopefully the type to not ask the more invasive questions. Talk about if the Hulk was dangerous or if Thor could be trusted after Loki's actions were conversations Natasha was sick of.

The fake studio applause played as Natasha was introduced, and the blonde woman announced herself as Amelia Smett. Soon the questions began, joking about each avenger and discussing New York and it's repercussions. Natasha was never comfortable in these interviews but she wasn't constantly on guard with this lady - unlike some other painful talks this didn't feel like a test or a trap.

"So, I heard rumours about the Avengers living with each other in future. Undoubtedly, in one of Starks buildings. Can you give me any insight into that?" Amelia asked.

The redhead smiled. "The only thing I can tell you is I would not want to share a room with Thor. I've never met someone who snores so loudly before."

"Is it an Asgardian thing maybe?" The interviewer laughed.

The questions kept coming but the clock across from Natasha promised the end was coming soon. Only a few more minutes and a few more questions. Thank fuck, she has not put on enough setting spray if the sticky sensation of her makeup was anything to go by. She half zoned out, able to split her focus expertly.

"Do you ever feel.. out of your depth Natasha?"

Amelia smiled at her as she spoke. "It must be difficult. Being one of the only Avengers with no superhuman powers, and no technology to make up for it. Tony in his suit is practically a form of super serum." The light easy laugh of the interviewer slid over the redhead.

She was accustomed to all the bright lights and cameras, and had been nominated to act as the spokesperson of avengers until something more permanent was decided. She was born to play an act after all. In the wake of New York everyone had a lot of questions, and by now she could do these interviews with her eyes closed. But that one question had her pausing. It was a newer one. The answer slipped out, light and easy. Much easier than pausing any longer to think about the question. To acknowledge the seemingly impassable distance between her and the rest of the team.

"In an alien invasion I think everyone's out of their depth. I mean a year ago I thought aliens weren't real and a month ago I was face to face with them. I know we handled it, all of us together. And besides, what I don't have in super serum or magic I make up for in being the only avenger with common sense." She smiled as the interviewer laughed, stories of Tony and his infamously bad ideas rolling of her tongue.

The last few minutes passed quickly and after the shortest goodbyes she could manage without seeming rude Natasha was on her way out. The dusky sky outside beckoned her, the need to be alone and relax making itself heard. She left the studio with her bag held tight. She hated playing this role but the public support increased with each repetitive interview or photoshoot.

Fury needed it, to soothe the council. Saving a city, the world even, wasn't enough for them apparently. The Avengers needed it, if they wanted to continue. She needed a drink, and according to the glaringly bright phone screen there was a bottle shop nearby. Thank fuck, right now she needed a glass of wine and some mind numbing reality tv.

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