Insults
Chatting in real life
Wanda 🔮: *eating ice cream out of the tub* I have a question
Charles 📚: ask away my dear
Wanda 🔮: What's the scariest thing to do with my dad
Alex 💪🏻: cook
Darwin 🪨: cook
Raven 💙: cook
Logan 🍁: cook
Hank 🔬: cook
Angel 🦋: cook
Sean 🍃: cook
Erik 🧲: ...
Charles 📚: cooking with Erik isn't scary
Alex 💪🏻: it is when you can't cook
Wanda 🔮: can any of you cook?
Hank 🔬: no
Erik 🧲: then that's why it's scary
Wanda 🔮: how is he scary?
Raven 💙: let us present to you Erik Lehnsherr's best insults about our cooking
Charles 📚: more like failed cooking attempts
Raven 💙: shut up Charles - it's not like you can cook either
Charles 📚: I can bake though
Sean 🍃: he's got you there
Erik 🧲: you're a phenomenal baker Schatz
Charles 📚: thank you darling
Wanda 🔮: let's hear some of these insults
Logan 🍁: "This crab is so undercooked, it's still singing under the sea"
Darwin 🪨: to be fair it was pretty bad
Alex 💪🏻: "This soup is dry"
Wanda 🔮: the fuck??? 🤣
Raven 💙: "That fish is so raw it's still looking for its son"
Hank 🔬: ironic given that Erik is the one who didn't know he had a son to look for
Erik 🧲: 😒😒😒
Sean 🍃: "Why did your chicken get up and cross the road? Because you didn't fucking cook it."
Charles 📚: True
Sean 🍃: my chicken was delightful
Charles 📚: I got salmonella poisoning
Sean 🍃: oh yeah
Angel 🦋: you make Charles sick, you have to deal with Erik
Sean🍃: not a good experience
Darwin 🪨: "The beef is so undercooked, I can see it starting to eat the salad"
Wanda 🔮: *laughing loudly*
Logan 🍁: "the chicken is so raw an unqualified vet could save it"
Wanda 🔮: Again with the fucking chicken 🤣
Raven 💙: "your cooking is so terrible, you couldn't even apply for a job at Wendy's"
Charles 📚: true
Raven 💙: *throws a cushion at Charles*
Charles 📚: *catches it before it hit Wanda*
Wanda 🔮: Jeez careful Raven
Charles 📚: *kisses Wanda on the forehead* Don't worry, I got you sunshine *throws the cushion and hits Raven in the face*
Sean 🍃: who knew Charles had such a good aim
Erik 🧲: Me, I became target practice
Charles 📚: *rolls his eyes fondly*
Logan 🍁: I think I have a video of that
Wanda 🔮: can you show me?
Logan 🍁: course kiddo, I'll send it to you
Wanda 🔮: Thanks Logan
Logan 🍁: you're welcome
Hank 🔬: Erik put a slice of bread either side of my head and called me an idiot sandwich
Erik 🧲: actually it was a Panini head but you know, same difference
Wanda 🔮: *stares at Charles then laughs loudly*
Charles 📚: *smiles*
Sean 🍃: what?
Wanda 🔮: Dad called Peter a Panini head earlier
Erik 🧲: *laughs loudly* well he's not wrong
Alex 💪🏻: 🤣🤣🤣
Raven 💙: Panini head???
Darwin 🪨: where do all these insults come from???
Erik 🧲: Blame Peter on the Disney references
Angle 🦋: "this squid is so raw I can still hear him telling SpongeBob to piss off"
Sean 🍃: "you've put so much ginger in this, it's a Weasley"
Charles 📚: *snorts with laughter* Erik you can't talk you're literally ginger
Erik 🧲: I am not
Charles 📚: *raises his eyebrows*
Wanda 🔮: I bet the Harry Potter joke impressed Dad
Logan 🍁: he probably wanked off to it
Charles 📚: *blushes bright red*
Erik 🧲: *whispers in Charles' ear* well that was an interesting revolution
Wanda 🔮: *sat on Erik's lap* 😑😑😑
Raven 💙: oh Wanda you poor thing
Charles 📚: *kisses Erik on the cheek then hits him around the head*
Sean 🍃: so romantic
Wanda 🔮: *eats more ice cream*
Logan 🍁: do you want me to send you the video?
Wanda 🔮: ooooo yes please
Logan 🍁: i got you
Alex 💪🏻: Logan around kids scares me
Hank 🔬: same
Logan 🍁: go fuck yourselves
Charles 📚: language
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Wanda 🔮 and Logan 🍁 are chatting privately
Logan 🍁: Here you go Princess
Logan 🍁: [ ]
Logan 🍁: a video of Erik punching Charles' hand when they were practicing boxing
Wanda 🔮: you're as bad as Pietro 🙄
Logan 🍁: he is my brother so...
Wanda 🔮: Does that make you my brother?
Logan 🍁: I guess it does, if you want
Wanda 🔮: I'd like that
Wanda 🔮: Also that video is so fucking cuteeeee
Wanda 🔮: I gotta send it to Pietro
Wanda 🔮: The little touch Papa have my dad to see if he was ok 🥺
Wanda 🔮: AWWWWWWWWWW
Logan 🍁: ...you do you princess
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Chatting in real life
Erik 🧲: How are you feeling sweetie?
Wanda 🔮: *hugs Erik tightly* a bit better
Charles 📚: Tell you what sunshine, while Papa takes your brother to his thing, I'm going to take you out
Wanda 🔮: Really!?
Charles 📚: Dad and daughter evening out?
Wanda 🔮: I'd love that *throws herself on Charles and sobs into his cardigan*
Charles 📚: *rubs her back soothingly* it's alright sunshine, I'm here
Erik 🧲: *smiles fondly at Charles*
Sean 🍃: for god's sake dad stop making heart eyes at mom
Angel 🦋: fr
Raven 💙: sappy bastard
Erik 🧲: shut up
Raven 💙: no
Logan 🍁: I have a story to tell
Darwin 🪨: oh no...
Wanda 🔮: what's the story?
Charles 📚: in Balamory wouldn't you like to know?
Hank 🔬: what the fuck
Sean 🍃: did you steam some of my weed?
Alex 💪🏻: um Charles...
Erik 🧲: 🤣🤣🤣
Raven 💙: what is the reference?
Charles 📚: a British kids program we used to watch with Peter
Angel 🦋: ahhh makes sense
Wanda 🔮: anyway, Logan what story are you going to tell?
Logan 🍁: the time we were at a party
Erik 🧲: oh god...