[B] I'm Sorry
Ego was collapsing around him.
Quill looked around, awed by the sight.
Blues buried in greens, reds, greys, and browns. The cellular-modeled interior of the planet crumbling and breaking apart, the blood-vessel-like blue tubes igniting with yellow, then orange, then black smoke pluming off of that. Explosions.
He watched it all, and he couldn't bring himself to move. It felt like the end. He had no will to fight. No will to move.
He felt heartbroken, like his world was crashing in on him.
He lost his dad, learned his mom was killed by his dad, and had nearly lost his entire family.
Then, suddenly, as he hears the rumbling and explosions approaching him, he's tackled by something small.
And it's carrying him. Struggling to, but it is.
Then he recognizes the fuzzy face, looking up at the sky as it flies between the canyons around them.
It belongs to Rocket. ROCKET.
Quill was being saved by Rocket...
Rocket takes a breath in, and out.
He blinked, stunned, and suddenly, as they start to rise higher, Rocket adeptly takes the Aero-Rig off of himself, and before they can lose much height, he's adeptly twisted around Quill, and slapped it onto the human.
And then they're rising again, and Quill barely even notices something else was slapped onto him too.
His mind doesn't think about the blue sheen now surrounding him, as Rocket starts speaking. And that gets all his attention.
"That ass wasn't y' family..." Rocket half growls, clinging to Quill as they fly up, carrying on and on.
"Gamora... Drax... Groot... Yondu... That's y' family." Rocket says, glaring up with a smile, a sheen to his eyes.
He inhales sharply, and speaks further, as the lower edges of blue auroras start to pass them. "I'm sorry..."
"F'r bein' a jerk all th' time... Gettin' everyone in danger... Startin' fights..." Rocket goes on and on as blue becomes green, and deeper colors.
"what...?" Quill tries to look into Rocket's face, but Rocket's looking forward.
"I'm sorry that I made y' hate me... That I always caused probl'ms... I'm sorry..." Rocket grimaces, drawing another weak breath, and sniffing slightly as the blue fades into another wave of green, thinner wave.
"'M sorry I messed it up. Wasn't there like I shoulda been..." His breath is getting weaker now.
"M' sorry that..." Rocket takes another weak breath, closing his eyes. Shivering now, as space surrounds them. Quill had hardly even realized they were in the void now... When did he get a space suit on...?
"I couldn't d-do things... r-right..." Frost is starting to set in, ever so slightly. It's getting ever so slightly harder to hear.
Rocket shifts, bracing his legs against Quill's chest, as the Aero-Rig runs out of power.
"S-So... g-go be... w-with y'r family..." Rocket says weakly, with finality, before pushing Quill away through space.
The little raccoon, who only barely reached Quill's knee in height started to stiffen more in space.
His ears slowly stopped twitching. His breath stopped huffing out into space. His fur stopped bristling.
That brown color started to fade into a lighter color. Frost on the edges making him look like he was turning to ice.
He closed his eyes, accepting it.
Quill watched him accept it.
Quill couldn't accept it.
He finally found his voice.
"No-NO! ROCKET!!! NO!!!" Quill shouts, screams, cries into the void as the inertia of the push sends him to GOD he doesn't fucking CARE where. "ROCKET!!!"
Quill suddenly feels a hand grab him from behind, and drag him into a ship's bay. He slams onto the floor, and looks up at the steel roof. Up at the blue man standing over him.
"Rocket..." Quill says weakly, feeling tears streaking down his face like rivers. Yondu goes out into the void. Aero-Rig and Space Suit equipped.
He has no clue if he cries for minutes, or hours, or seconds, or what. But he suddenly feels a hand on his arm.
"Peter..." Gamora says, tears staining her voice. "I-I thought I lost you..." She lets out a sob.
"G-Gamora... R-Rock..." He looks at her, and sees the frosted fur past her.
She looks down, closing her eyes firmly, and nodding, as he sits up, and looks at Rocket.
He's still as stone. His fur is defrosting, but there's no life to it anymore.
Gamora lets out a sob, but Quill barely hears it.
Yondu leaves, but Quill doesn't register that.
He just crawls to Rocket's side, and rolls him over, so he's face up.
His body-HE, he limply moves. His face tries to flop to the side with the motion, and Quill quickly catches it.
It feels frozen. It feels so cold that he almost pulls his hand away in shock. Almost.
He leans close to Rocket, he puts his other hand on Rocket's wrist, trying to feel for a pulse.
"Rocket... Please..." Quill cries. "Please... We love you, I don't hate you, I don't, I never did... I p-promise... Rocket..."
Quill lowers his head to Rocket's chest, trying to listen for a heartbeat, trying to cry into the jumpsuit-covered little body. Get some sort of response. "Don't be dead. Don't die. You can't. Groot needs you. WE need you. Please." He begs and pleads.
There's no response.
There was never going to be one. Never again.
Quill pleads with Gamora, instead, then.
"Th-The med-bay... W-We have to t-try to..." He starts, but she nods, and speaks to interrupt him.
"I already demanded they prepare it." She's had a slight moment to recover, and reaches down gently, to put a hand on Quill's, on Rocket's dead wrist.
Quill looks down at the hand on his, then follows Rocket's arm, up to his face.
There are still tears frozen to his cheeks.
Quill hadn't had a chance to meet up with Rocket.
Maybe if he'd tried harder, he could've gotten an Aero-Rig of his own. They could've both escaped with their lives. Maybe...
He just moves his hand up, Gamora pulling away as he does so, and he picks up Rocket, pulling him into a hug.
"You can't be dead. You're not allowed to die. Not like this..." Quill says firmly, as tears start to well up again.
He picks Rocket up, and starts to move towards the Med-Bay of the Eclector.
As he's walking, he sees Drax firmly walking towards where they'd been, and the Destroyer freezes like he was staring at ghosts when he sees them.
His eyes are instantly locked on Rocket. Quill doesn't stop moving.
He moves right past Drax, left down the hall, and left to the Med-Bay.
He sees Yondu already preparing it. The man looks grim. Angry.
Quill lays Rocket on the bed. Starts undoing the jumpsuit so they can use a Defibrillator.
"Come on. Come on Rocket. You'll be okay." Quill begs. "Please be okay." Quill pleads with the universe.
"Outta th' way, boy." Yondu says softly, moving Quill aside.
He places the pads on Rocket's chest.
They try to revive him.
Once.
Twice.
Three times.
Four times.
Five times, that's the limit. That's when they always used to give up on Ravagers.
Yondu does a sixth.
A Seventh.
Eight times.
Nine...
Twelve...
The batteries die on the twenty-sixth try.
Yondu quietly puts the pads back into the drawer to recharge.
He turns, looking at Rocket on the bed.
Drax had made his way in.
Gamora and Nebula were standing to the side.
Kraglin standing in the doorway.
Quill stared at Rocket.
He stared at him. Knowing that he'd never hear Rocket's voice again.
He'd never hear his snarky sass. He'd never butt heads with him again.
They'd never go flying together again.
They'd never practice shooting together.
Dance together.
Play with Groot together.
Prank Drax together.
Cook together.
Talk to each other.
He'd never get the chance to apologize.
Quill's gut feels hollow as he thinks about what Rocket said.
He walks to the side of the bed, and puts his hand on Rocket's face.
He gently strokes his cheek, and starts crying again.
"he thought we didn't love him... that I hated him." Quill says quietly.
"what...?" Drax asked, his voice sounding more heartbroken than Quill'd ever heard.
"H-He thought he wasn't a part of our family!" Quill shouts, slamming his hand on the bed. "I made him feel like he wasn't. I made him think I hated him. Just because I was stupid and mad about the fucking crash." Quill's throat feels raw. He doesn't think he's shouting very loud, but he's shouting with such rage that it still feels like a claw dragging every word out.
"I was gonna do it." Yondu says softly. "Was gonna give my life. Knew what I was signin' up f'r. Try t' do one good thing. An' he tricked me. Sent me up. Took my damn place." Yondu puts a hand on his face, to hide the fact he was crying, too.
"Little bastard..." Yondu says. "Shouldn'a fallen for it..." His voice weakens as he finishes speaking.
"We left him behind on Berhert..." Gamora shook her head. "I'm such a fool." She said, also beginning to tear up again. "I knew he was hurting. He's always hurting. He always lashes out whenever he's upset. Without fail."
She walks forward, shaking her head. "We never should have left him behind. We should've brought him with, or not gone at all. I should have known better, and insisted we not leave him. I failed him as a friend. And as a sister." She breathes in and out.
"Rocket never deserved this." Drax says softly. "It never should've cost this." His hands ball into fists.
"I am Groot...?" A soft, scared voice asks.
Everyone looks at Groot, on Yondu's shoulder. Yondu sighs. "Twig... 'm sorry, but he's gone." Yondu sets Groot onto Rocket's chest, so that he can investigate for himself.
Everyone is silent as the little colossus shivers at how cold Rocket's body is. He shakes his head, and walks up, toward's Rocket's neck, and hugs around it like he would always do before. He nuzzles against him.
"I am Groot!! I am Groot, I am Groot, I am Groot!" Groot says, his voice ordering, demanding, stating. No one understands what he's saying anymore. No one's left to translate. "I am Groot...!" Groot tries to repeat, smacking Rocket's chin as he sits up.
"I am Groot...?" Groot smacks again.
"I am Groot!!!" Groot smacks again.
"I am... Groot...?" Groot taps.
Groot looks to the others. "I am Groot...?" He points at Rocket.
"Groot..." Gamora says softly, but Drax steps forward first.
Drax kneels down at Rocket's side, looking Groot in the eyes. "He's dead."
Quill flinches.
Gamora and Yondu stiffen.
Kraglin nervously shifts his gaze away.
Nebula nervously cracks her neck.
Groot blinks.
He points again, shaking his head no.
"I am-"
"He's dead, Groot. We've done all we can." Drax says, speaking softly, with indescribable pain in his tone.
"I am Groot!!" Groot starts to realize, and is enraged, and seemingly starting to cry, he smacks Rocket's chin.
"He is DEAD." Drax shouts, standing up, and picking Groot up. Everyone is tense.
"Do NOT throw a tantrum on his body." Drax says firmly, but there's a crack in his voice. And a tear breaks through the corner of his eye. "We will treat him with love and respect. We will not hurt his body further." Drax says firmly.
Quill deflates, looking at Rocket's body again. "Rocket..."
Drax looks at Rocket too. Sighs as well. "Let's talk somewhere else."