Chapter 7
It’s a strange enough thing to be sucked so deeply into a memory that you almost forget what you’re doing in the real world. The kind of memory that stops you in your tracks, where you just have to stand still wherever you are and allow it to pass through you for a moment before you continue with whatever it was that you were doing prior. It’s an entirely different thing to feel like you’ve been transported back in time. The tastes, the sounds, the smells, they replace the world in front of you and you’re stuck in its grasp.
Bellona is stuck now.
Most of what she goes back to is her sisters. She tries to forget all of the other things, and for good reason too, but that’s not what any of them are here for. Not to think about how sweet Gabby was at that age, not to reminisce Zelda’s gentle and passive spirit. No, they’re here for the other things. The things Bellona tries her best to forget. The memories of her sisters are pushed to the side like clutter on a shelf when they try to come up.
“It’s okay, Bellona,” Jean is saying. “Just try to relax. Try to let me in.”
It’s a task that’s much easier said than done. She struggles with letting people in metaphorically, so letting a telepath into the depths of her mind feels impossible.
“I’m trying,” she says, and it’s not a lie. She squeezes her eyes shut tighter and tries to look deep within herself.
“Jean,” X-23 says softly from another part of the room. “She is stressed.”
Bellona feels a shift of movement.
“It’s okay, Laura. She’s alright.” She’s sure she feels Jean’s hands hovering on either side of her face. There’s the faintest trace of warmth. “Try again,” Jean whispers. “You can do this.”
She needs something good. Something to prove that she’s not the mindless killer she protrayed herself to be. Or rather, worse than mindless, she was a calculated killer, one who took great measures to ensure she’d be successful. She even underwent surgery to make sure she could make a clean getaway. So what made her do it? What could she show Jean to convince her it was only a reaction to conditioning beyond her control?
“Try again.”
She’s no longer sitting on X-23’s couch next to Jean trying to remember why it is she’s the person she became. Instead, she opens her eyes and she’s looking at Kimura in the simulation room. She feels exhausted and sore and she feels like she could collapse at any given moment.
“Did you not hear me, you little demon?” Kimura hisses. “I said, try again!”
She grunts when she swings the back of her hand across Bellona’s face. The last thing she sees is the way Kimura’s teeth are bared when she does it. Her nose crinkles and her eyes shut and it stings when she feels her knuckles knock her cheekbone. Bellona gasps as she falls to her knees, clutching her face where the pain radiates. Her mouth tingles and her eyes water.
“No cry babys allowed,” Kimura says, kicking the toe of her boot into Bellona’s side. She falls to the opposite, wincing when her head falls against the floor. “So no crying.”
She doesn’t mean to, but it happens before she can stop it. The tears that spill over are large and hot. She can feel them sting the cut on her face and it makes her cry more.
“Dear God,” Kimura groans as she rolls her eyes. She grabs a radio set from her belt and holds it up to her mouth. “I’m sending her back, Mooney,” she says. “They’re too fucking weak. We need to age them up again. I need workable subjects, not a bunch of overgrown toddlers. If you want me on this project, you need to do better.” She walks past Bellona and nudges her with her boot again. “Get up, you brat,” she seethes. “You’re going into time out. You’ve been bad.”
Bellona hates this part, it’s the main reason she’s tried so hard to suppress this. She doesn’t want to remember how it felt, not any of it.
In the memory, Bellona cries out when Kimura grips the top of her scalp and she immediately regrets not being obedient. Kimura pulls Bellona, at this time much smaller and younger, down the hall. Bellona screams, but no one they pass helps. They don’t even acknowledge her. In fact, the only indication that they’re aware of what’s happening is when they step out of Kimura’s way. She watches in horror as they allow her to be dragged away. She screams louder and kicks her feet, but none of it works. Kimura is stronger. She is who they all fear. They all know better than to intervene.
Kimura drags her like a garbage bag, at least it’s what she says to Mooney on the handheld, down a flight of stairs. The steps leave instant bruises. By this point, Bellona’s stunned into silence. She no longer tries to make eye contact with any of the other handlers. She no longer cries out in pain or for help. She doesn’t even try to fight Kimura. She let’s herself be tugged like waste and, at six years old, wills herself to be injured so gravely that maybe she can sleep forever.
It proves to be a useless wish, one that never makes it to the stars.
“What seems to the problem?” Mooney asks when Kimura drops her at his feet.
Her breathing is hitched and broken. She feels herself shaking.
“She didn’t want to complete her assignment,” Kimura says through a clenched jaw. “And if she wants to be on my team, she’s going to have to.”
Mooney stands over her with his arms crossed tightly over his chest. He lifts a brow and frowns. From the floor, he looks tall and broad, an opponent she could never beat. She whimpers.
“And what assignment might that be?” he asks in a careful, staccato tone.
Kimura sneers as she crouches down. She runs her fingers through Bellona’s hair, tangled now by her own doing. “The puppy mission,” she says sweetly.
“Ah. Well you’re own little puppet couldn’t do that one either, could she?”
On the floor, Bellona lies still. She feels Kimura’s hand ball into a fist at the accusation. At the time it had gone over her head, but now she understands the weight of it.
“I’m not in charge of creating them,” Kimura spat. “If there’s a malfunction, that is not an indication of any shortcomings on my part.”
“Oh,” Mooney’s voice is flat and dry. “So who’s shortcomings would they be?”
On the floor between them, Bellona pretends to disappear to anywhere other than there. She doesn’t know how big the world is on the outside or what all it contains, but she imagines it must be so much better than what exists within these walls.
“All I’m saying,” Kimura says slowly, “is they’re not mine. Place the blame wherever you’d like. You enjoy doing that, it seems.”
For what happens next, Bellona never did know what it was she had done. In hindsight, she knows it was nothing. Nothing that she could have changed or altered. Nothing that was in any of her control, not at that time. Right?
She’s no longer invisible when Mooney reaches down and grabs her by her collar. Kimura takes a step back as though she’s surprised. Seeing it all play back makes Bellona wonder if she had expected herself to be the one clutched in his grasp. She would have deserved it.
“We make no failures,” Mooney bellows. His voice dances around the large room like thunder. “I make no failures. None.”
He opens the door to a mid-sized crate, one originally intended for something wild, an animal not yet domesticated. One who is disobedient. One who is bad. He shoves her inside like waste in a disposal and slams the door shut. Bellona grips the cage with tight fingers.
Left where she was, Kimura stares. Her features are hard and cold, she gives no indication of feeling anything close to regret or pity, but the look she wears is still one in the slightest amount of shock. It isn’t anything she hasn’t done before, but she nearly seems afraid. Again, Bellona wonders if she thought it would be her.
Mooney kneels down, and Bellona backs into one of the tight corners.
“When you come out,” he says, “we’ll work out these little kinks of yours. How’s that sound?” She sees the graying of several teeth when he sneers. “But for now, we’ll let you think about it. Think about what you did wrong.”
She remembers the fear of being left alone. She was only a child and possessed the child like imagination of what lurks in the darkness and the all monsters hiding in corners, only she imagined them to be men and women in medical gowns. The heavy door shut with a groan and a thud and she was left in blackness. The only window was covered by a box of miscellaneous items.
She never wakes up the next morning because she never truly goes to sleep, but she watches the sun rise for several hours before one of the other handlers comes in to set her free. It’s a woman wearing a mask and goggles, and she’s cautious when she opens the door. Bellona stays in the corner for several moments before she trusts the woman enough to come out.
She let’s the woman take her arm and pull her along. She let’s herself be led out of the room and down the hall where the other subjects are seated for their first meal. Her gown clings to her skin and her hair sticks to her face. Her eyes feel puffy and throat is raw. She hopes to be taken to the washroom for a shower, and then her cube for a nap, but she knows better than to ask for such things. She knows better than to be needy, to be bad.
They walk together down the isle of metal tables and chairs. She never did know why it was there were so many when so few actually resided here, but it’s one of the things she somehow knew she didn’t want an answer to. Instead, she watches the tiles pass beneath her bare feet until the woman releases her.
“Bell?” Zelda’s voice is thin and soft, only being a child herself at the time.
Bellona smiles softly at her sister and tries to blink away the tears, surprised to find there are still more to shed. Zelda climbs down from her stool.
“Where were you last night?” she asks. Worry flushes her small, pale face.
“I,” Bellona starts, and she chokes on the next words. “I failed my assignment,” she whispers, afraid of additional punishment if someone different found out.
Zelda’s bottom lip quivers. “I’m sorry,” she says, and she reaches out to touch Bellona’s hair. “Did they hurt you?”
They often ask each other, already knowing the answer but requiring confirmation despite it. It made it more bearable to know they weren’t the only ones.
Bellona can’t muster up the strength to answer outloud, so she only nods her head. Zelda’s face darkens. She reaches out and wraps her slender arms around Bellona. She can remember the way she felt held in sister’s embrace. Those were the only memories she had from those times that don’t hurt as bad to remember.
“I’m sorry,” Zelda says again, only softer. “I promise I’ll protect you next time. I… I’ll do a better job.”
Zelda’s resolution was always to do better. Bellona carries the guilt of it even now, wishing there was someway she could properly tell her that it was never her fault. They were both able to protect Gabby because they teamed up together to do it. By themselves, it never would have worked.
“Wow.”
Jean’s voice sounds far away to start with, but it feels like waking up from a deep sleep to come out of the memory. When she opens her eyes, she’s surprised to find that X-23 is sitting on the floor at her feet. She’s even more surprised to see that she’s squeezing one of X-23’s hands with both of her own. Jean is still sitting beside her. She’s no longer smiling, but her features are soft.
“Sorry,” Bellona whispers, and she releases X-23’s hand from her grasp. X-23 doesn’t respond, but she offers a faint trace of a smile. Bellona looks at Jean. “So what now?” she asks.
Jean sighs. She looks tired, much more so now than before. She runs her fingers back through her long, red hair. “Well, now we just need to figure out where you’d like to be here.”
“So that’s it?” Bellona frowns. “You peak at some memories and then it’s fine?” She isn’t sure how to feel about all of it. It seems infuriatingly simple.
“More or less,” Jean says gently. “We just needed confirmation.”
“Of what?”
“Your conditioning,” she reasons. “It all seems very… familiar,” she glances at X-23. “So it’s no surprise that you’ve done the things you have. You were made to. That was not your fault.”
She doesn’t expect the riptide of emotions that rolls through her at the reassurance. It was not her fault. She chokes on the breath she takes in.
“Are you okay?” X-23 asks. She watches her closely. Intensely. To Bellona, it all feels so familiar.
“I’m fine,” she says. “I just… I’m really tired now. That was a lot.”
Jean nods, then stands. “That’s fair,” she says. “It’s a lot to go through, especially when it’s one of your first experiences. You should rest.” She turns to look at X-23, who still sits on the floor. “Laura here will take good care of you until Akihiro comes back. In the meantime, just know you’re welcome on the island, to visit or to stay.”
X-23 stands. “Thank you, Jean,” she says in her soft, monotonous voice. “We will reach back out when a decision is made.”
Jean smiles. “Of course.”
Bellona doesn’t pay anymore attention when they walk to the door. She sighs, resting her elbows on her knees and cradling her head in her hands. Her head throbs and it feels like it’s spinning. She’ll definitely tell Akihiro he needs to discuss these things with her first before signing her up, whenever she sees him again. She let’s out a heavy sigh.
“You are more than welcome to rest here.”
She looks up. X-23 stands at the end of the sofa with her arms crossed over her chest. She’s dressed even more casually today than she had been a few nights ago. She’s wearing fishnet stockings beneath cut-off denim shorts and an oversized t-shirt. Her hair is long and straight and Bellona even swears she could be wearing just the smallest amount of makeup. For every puzzle piece that fits, there’s one more that doesn’t. She sighs.
“Is going back to the apartment not an option?” she asks.
X-23 tilts her head to one side. “I do not have a key to that one,” she says.
“Can you call him?”
She doesn’t mean it abrasively this time, but she would prefer to sleep in the home she’s had for the last several weeks instead of somewhere new. These changes have happened so quickly and she’s had such little time to adapt. All she wants is a few peaceful hours of not existing anywhere. She wants a few more hours to feel secure.
X-23 pulls out her phone and holds it to her ear after seeming to dial a number. Bellona wonders if she doesn’t have it saved or if it’s a force of habit to memorize such things.
“Hi,” she says after only a moment. “It’s Laura.”
Bellona snickers to herself. She can’t imagine X-23’s voice being confused with anyone else’s, even if he also didn’t have her number saved.
“Fine. She’s tired. Where are you?”
She seems to have the same phone etiquette as he does in terms of keeping idle chat to a minimum and getting right to the point. If she met her another way, Bellona would probably like that about her.
“I don’t have a key to the apartment you two are staying in, but she would like to rest there for the afternoon,” she says. She pauses, chewing her lip as she listens to him. “But she’s tired now,” she says after a few moments.
Bellona sighs and slumps back against the sofa, already having an idea at where this conversation is headed.
“When will you be back?” X-23 starts to pace back and forth. It doesn’t seem like nervous energy, only built up energy that needs spending. “Okay,” she says. Again, “okay.” She pauses. “I will.” And then she hangs up.
Bellona frowns, “What did he say?”
She sighs, “He is on a mission. He will be back this evening. He would like you to stay here, if you are comfortable with that. He will take you back to New York tonight. He promised.”
“He promised he was right behind me earlier today too,” Bellona points out.
X-23’s features soften. “You can trust Akihiro,” she says quietly. “He means what he says.”
Bellona looks down at the ground. She tries to push down the feelings of distaste for everything that’s happened today. She tries not to feel like she’s in over her head. She tries to trust X-23.
“I guess if this is my only option,” she says slowly.
“Sometimes we have only one option,” X-23 says. “But I assure you, this will not be so bad. It will only be for a few more hours.”
Bellona watches as X-23 opens a closet door and pulls out a blanket. She offers a small smile as she walks over to her, holding out the soft fabric. Bellona takes it reluctantly. She should be good at things like this by this point in her life. She should be easily adaptable to nothing being the same and nothing going according to plan. Still, she had hoped it could start to be different now. She’d hoped she could leave that part of her life behind.
With X-23 sitting on the opposite end of the couch, Bellona lays down with the blanket laid over her. If she wasn’t so exhausted, she would fight it more, but it feels physically impossible. The more she fights it, the more it wins. She falls asleep to the sight of X-23 glancing up occasionally over her phone at her. She falls asleep in the embrace of her careful eye.
~~~
The sand is soft and warm, she finds the sensation of her bare feet sinking into it rather relaxing. The breeze that blows is cool and thin. She shuts her eyes and tilts her chin back, letting the sound of the crashing waves soothe her.
“Do you like it here?”
She opens her eyes and looks over her shoulder. X-23 walks up to her, crossing her arms over her chest. The wind blows her long, dark strands around her body.
“I like this,” she says, and she turns back to the ocean in front of her. The rest would be debatable, but not entirely off the table.
Beside her, X-23 nods slowly. She also looks out at the ocean, and she seems to be deep in thought.
“It’s not so bad here,” she says after a moment. Bellona strains to hear her over the other sounds around them. “You will enjoy it. You won’t have to worry about any missions for a while, so you could just do things like this.”
Bellona briefly tries to imagine a life not spent in hiding. A life not centered around missions. She tries to think about freedom in it’s entirety. It’s as intimidating as it is exciting.
“Where would I stay?” she asks. It’s one of her biggest concerns about leaving New York, although she knows that staying in New York would be an even bigger risk as time passes by.
X-23 lifts a shoulder in a shrug. “You could stay with me and Gabby,” she says. “Akihiro stays at X-Factor most of the time, and sometimes he goes back to New York or California. Or somewhere else. You could also have a place of your own near ours.”
She frowns. Somehow none of those sound appealing. She knows she doesn’t have much of a leg to stand on, and her options are slim.
“What are the requirements to be on a team?”
“I do not think Jean-Paul will allow you to be on X-Factor. My understanding is that he hardly wanted Akihiro.”
Bellona nudges a broken shell over in the sand with her toe. “Well doesn’t he want him there now?”
“Yes,” X-23 says. “But Jean-Paul is… particular. I wouldn’t get my hopes up.” She turns to look at her. “You should use this as an opportunity to relax and enjoy yourself. Enjoy spending time with Gabby.”
“I don’t think you understand what kind of life I’ve been forced to live,” Bellona says, and she turns to face X-23 too. “You don’t exactly have small shoes to fill, and Alchemax were determined to turn us into you. Missions are what I know. They’re what I’m best at. I want to be on a team. I can prove that I’ll be an asset. Give me any assignment, I’ll ace it.”
Her eyes are locked on X-23’s. She doesn’t hope for a confrontation, but she would be lying if she said it didn’t feel good to let her know what she was responsible for. Her entire life, as well as her sisters’, had been centered around X-23. The idea of her having a hand in shaping Bellona’s future here too doesn’t feel fair. It doesn’t feel like freedom.
“I do,” X-23 says. Her eyes glisten. “I do understand. And I also understand what it feels like when someone who tells you they are helping you, uses you. If you wish to be on a team, you will be on one. That isn’t always a good thing. Just because you do it in a uniform does not mean it feels any better.”
The look on X-23’s face is gentle, but there’s a firmness that lies beneath the surface too. She looks determined.
“It’s not for you to decide,” Bellona says.
“Bellona. I am not going to force you to do something that you do not want to do. I’m only asking that you think about it first. Krakoa could be a great experience for you. Just… be careful. Do not let anyone use you. Do not let them know that you are usable, because they will. They will drain you.”
The warning sends a shiver down Bellona’s spine. It’s not that it would be unfamiliar territory, and the thought of being used by heroes somehow has a way of seeming better than being used by Alchemax, but there’s a heaviness that hangs with X-23’s words in the air that doesn’t set well with Bellona. She narrows her eyes.
“Then what’s the purpose of bringing me here?”
“The same reason I brought Akihiro,” X-23 says. She looks over either shoulder before taking a step closer. “We will be stronger together,” she says. “We can protect each other as long as we are all here. We will be as safe as we can be. If Akihiro is in New York with you, then I can’t-”
“Oh,” Bellona cuts her off. “So you want me here so Akihiro will be here, not because you want me here too?”
X-23 sighs. It’s the first indication she’s given of being anything close to agitated. “If you will let me finish,” she says flatly, “I was going to say I can’t help either one of you in New York. If you’re here, he will be here. We can be a group again. The four of us. Four is even better than three. We never have to be alone, including you.”
Bellona watches her. X-23 holds an unblinking gaze when she speaks, and her eyes make short glides back and forth as if she could be reading the words she’s saying as they pass. So much of her reminds Bellona of Zelda. In this moment, it’s her levelheaded way of explaining herself. It’s the drive to keep them all together. It’s the implication that it’s them versus everyone else. She feels something inside her pull, or maybe it pushes, but it’s something that’s changing.
“How do I know I can trust you?”
X-23 surprises Bellona when she reaches out and takes her hand, squeezing it gently. Her skin is soft and warm, like the sand on the bottom of her feet. Like the sun over their heads, setting in the gentle breeze. Bellona swallows.
“You just can,” X-23 says quietly. “I will show you. You will see.”
Bellona looks down at their hands. Hers is limp in X-23’s, so she makes an effort to tighten her grasp just a little. Compared to her own washed out complexion, X-23’s seem sunkissed and golden. Everything else is the same. The same slender fingers. The same long and lean arms up to small shoulders that frame the same slight build. They even have the same long hair, though complete opposite colors, that frame the same face. The only other difference is the scars. Bellona’s cover her ghostly skin, raised and pink and angry. X-23’s, Bellona imagines, are all invisible.
“Okay,” she whispers.
And X-23 smiles subtly, “Okay.”
They stand there for another moment before Bellona finally releases her hand. When she does, she almost feels like she’s snapping back to reality. She hears the sounds of laughter and conversation building around them. She looks over her shoulder, frowning.
“There’s a lot of people here,” she says uncertainly.
X-23 nods, “There are. Let’s go get something to eat from the bar. Akihiro should be back on the island soon. We’ll wait together.”
They walk up to bar and Bellona watches the sand. She tries to ignore the growing crowds that come in and she tries to ignore the way some of the conversations fade out or pause all together when they pass by. This will be something she struggles with, should she decide to stay. Or rather, when the time comes that she’s no longer given a choice. It would be nice to have something of a unit she can rely on again, much like her sisters growing up. However, having the lingering eyes will feel too familiar. Feeling watched is a feeling she won’t ever be accustom to.
When they get to the bar, X-23 leads. A large man stands behind the counter. When he sees them, his eyes briefly pass over Bellona but they linger on X-23.
“Laura,” he says. “What’ll it be this evening?”
Bellona watches as she folds her arms across the counter and leans over just a little. She seems to be giving the appearance of being relaxed and confident, but it’s not something that looks natural on her. Rehearsed would be a better word. She’s going through the motions of socializing by doing what she’s clearly seen other people do before.
“Let’s have chips and salsa and two pina coladas,” she says. And then adds, “Virgin drinks and the salsa hot,” with a smirk.
The man raises his brows. “Must be a work night,” he says. “Or someone’s bodyswapped with you.”
“Neither,” she says. “I am showing my sister around the island.”
When she says it, Bellona’s throat feels tight, not only at the implication of a familial relationship but also at being acknowledged. She starts to feel nervous.
“Ah,” the man says. “I see the resemblance.” Bellona feels relieved when he only gives her a nod. He doesn’t ask her name and he doesn’t offer his own. It’s relaxed. Informal. She feels like she’s been here before. “I’ll bring it out to you when it’s ready,” he tells X-23. “Y’all just sit wherever. I’ll come find ya.”
She follows X-23 to a bistro table not far from the man’s line of sight. She pulls out a chair and sits. The sun is a large orange orb a quarter of the way down in the sky. From where they sit, Bellona squints to look at it. It won’t be long before it’s too low to see, but right now it’s perfect. A gentle breeze continues to blow in, keeping it from feeling too warm.
Beside her, X-23 leans back in her chair and crosses her arms over her chest. She watches the water intently, looking deep in thought. Bellona wonders if she actually is or if it’s only a mask.
“Does Gabby like it out here?” she asks after several moments of sitting quietly.
X-23 lifts one corner of her mouth in a smile. “She does,” she says. “She likes the water. When Akihiro is around, they play in it together.”
“You don’t like to join them?”
She shrugs, “Sometimes. Most of the time I just watch.”
Bellona nods. As much as she hates to admit it, she would be likely to only watch too. At Alchemax, it was usually Zelda who tended to Gabby in a physical sense. Bellona felt more comfortable sitting by the door and keeping watch. She was more content with a physical altercation than she ever was with physical affection.
“Am I ever going to get to see Gabby?”
X-23 turns to look at her. “Of course,” she says.
Bellona takes in a breath and holds it. “Does she… want to see me?”
X-23 smiles. “Of course.”
She releases the rest of the air caught in her lungs and relaxes just a little. The weight of that question had rested heavily over her shoulders since she first left S.H.I.E.L.D. As little effort as she put into planning this whole escape, finding Gabby has been one thing that she’s counted on since the beginning. It’s been secondary only to her actually escaping.
They sit in silence for only a little while longer before the man comes out with their food and drinks. He sets it on the small table between them.
“There you ladies are,” he says. “Enjoy. You know where to find me if you need anything else.”
“Thank you,” X-23 says with a small smile of her own. She leans forward and grabs a chip, dipping it in the salsa.
Bellona takes a sip of her drink. “So is this what everyone does here?” She asks.
X-23 shrugs, “Mostly,” she says. “Some go through the gates if they want to go somewhere else. There are also other places around here. The Lagoon is well known though. It’s my favorite place here.”
She reaches forward and grabs a chip, also dipping it in the salsa. A small part of her is disappointed to learn that her fondness of spicy food may very well be something that’s inherited.
“Why is it your favorite?”
“The waves are loud enough to drown out thoughts. The smell of the water is peaceful. The sand is warm.” She pauses, “I suppose it’s just different. When I was in California for school, I really enjoyed the beach there too.”
“You went to school in California?”
X-23 nods. She sips her drink and focuses on the horizon. Bellona wonders if she chooses to be withdrawn or if it’s something she can’t help. Regardless, she settles back into her own chair and sighs.
There are a lot of people on the beach, but it isn’t overwhelming. The crowds are dispersed enough to not feel crowded and the noise is at a comfortable volume. With the sun setting lower, Bellona starts to imagine spending every evening this way. It’s a strange concept to imagine, though not unwelcomed.
“Right where I knew I’d find you two.”
Bellona turns around quickly. Akihiro smirks as he walks up to them. He grabs a chair from another table and sits on X-23’s opposite side.
X-23’s features stay relaxed, but her eyes gleam with mischief. It’s a look that Bellona remembers seeing almost constantly on Gabby.
“Akihiro,” she greets. “How was your mission?”
He sighs as he leans back against the chair, stretching his arms over his head. “Fine, I guess,” he says with a shrug. “It’s all the same after a while.” His arm settles across the back of her chair.
X-23 nods, but Bellona scowls. She leans forward and rests her elbows on the table. “It better have been more than fine for you to leave me like that,” she says sharply. “You promised you were right behind me.”
To her surprise, Akihiro sneers. He mirrors her pose, leaning forward and crossing his arms across the table too. “I was,” he says simply. “I’m right here.”
From the corner of her eye, she sees X-23 bite her lip. It looks as though she could be holding back a grin. Bellona narrows her eyes.
“That’s not what is implied when you tell someone that.”
He shrugs, then reaches forward and grabs a chip from the basket. “You were in good hands,” he reasons. “I made sure of it.” He looks at X-23 and winks.
Bellona sighs, she wants to say more but knows better than to try. She’s already catching on to their dynamic and she knows she won’t win with both of them here. They have each others’ backs first, and she understands.
“Whatever,” she says, leaning back against her chair again and crossing her arms over her chest. “When can we go back to New York?”
She asks because the sun is sinking lower and the general atmosphere is changing. She can hear music playing and the conversations get a little louder. She starts to feel unnerved. Unsafe.
“In a little while,” he says. “What’s the rush?”
She scowls. “I’m tired, and nothing about today went according to any sort of plan. I just want to go back home.”
Akihiro and X-23 share a long look. Neither makes a single sound, but they seem to be having some kind of conversation. Bellona raises an eyebrow as she watches, waiting impatiently for one of them to say something.
“How about this,” Akhiro says. “We hang out for just another few minutes, and then we all three head back to New York for tonight.”
Now X-23 leans forward. “Gabby will be staying with some friends tonight. We thought maybe it would be helpful if I came back with the two of you. Tomorrow morning, we can all come back here. You can meet more people. Get settled in.”
Bellona frowns. The idea of being pushed to a ledge she didn’t see coming does little to ease her nerves, but she knew from the start that staying in Akihiro’s apartment would have a short shelf life. She hadn’t known what to expect when all of this began, but somehow this doesn’t line up with what she anticipated. She had hoped for a quiet period of life, something simple and under the radar. Not this. Not with so many people. Not with so much familiarity.
“I guess,” she begins slowly. “I guess if I really have to.”
Akihiro reaches his hand across the table. He doesn’t take hers, but he places his beside it. It’s an invitation, she assumes, if she wants something comforting without being overbearing. She looks at the dark ink of the tattoo that circles the back of his hand and the chipped black polish on his fingernails. She doesn’t take his hand, but she doesn’t move hers away either.
“You’re gonna be alright,” he says. His voice is low and calm. It’s soothing. “We’ll look out for you.”
Bellona only nods.
They spend the next half hour sitting while the sun continues to dip lower in the sky. Bellona chooses not to engage in the conversation that begins, but she makes an effort to halfway listen. For the most part, they discuss ongoing missions and some of their teammates. Bellona knows none of them, so she loses interest and the details fade in and out.
It feels strange to be where she is. All things considered, it’s certainly not the worst case scenario, but she also wouldn’t consider it the best. Beside her, Akihiro and X-23 talk as if nothing could be bothering them and she wonders how long it takes to get to the point of view. She wonders if she’d ever be capable.
As promised, it isn’t long before she notices both Akihiro and X-23 standing up.
“You ready, kid?” He asks.
Bellona looks at him. At both of them. She thinks about that first night when she saw him in the parking lot. The night she followed him home.
“Yes,” she says. “I am.”
~~~