Where in the World

Earth welcomed Thor and Loki with open arms, specifically their spaceship which crashed through the atmosphere with the strength of a defective asteroid. What was left of the Asgardians sat huddled together in coddled, sweaty masses, screaming as the turbulence wildly shook them up and down, left and right. Meanwhile, Valkyrie urged Thor to move to the side as she poked and prodded the jammed buttons on the broken Sakaarian ship control panel. Frustrated by ineffectiveness, she resorted to wildly punching and hitting the panel, grumbling something about the Grandmaster’s cheapness, before looking over to Thor.

“It’s not working!” She smashed another button for good measure, watching as it stayed stuck in its place. “We’re going to crash!” 

The thunder god used his last remaining eye to glance at Loki, who glanced back at him with an equal understanding. Loki huffed before looking at Bruce, who looked everything but calm as he tried desperately to cling to a solid surface for support. 

“You might want to pacify Dr. Banner for a moment.” Loki’s silver tongue failed him at the moment as his drawl came out more as an awkward, nervous quip. His hands flushed with a green aura that spread to the walls and ceilings of the ship in a thin glow. A soft wince escaped him as he fought to control the ship, his magic weakened slightly under the stress. The screams of his people invaded his ears, the sound of an unpleasant shrill that reminded him over and over again that if he failed, he would be the crime that would not be forgiven. His failure would prove that he would live up (or, rather, down) to his father’s expectations and the reputation that preceded him. Stronger , he thought to himself , just this once I have to try. 

“We are currently 3,031 miles away from your destination,” the off-brand alien GPS connected to the control panel slurred out in broken speech. “Would you like to reroute?”

“We don’t have time to reroute!” Thor yelled. “Land the ship, brother!” 

“I know!” Loki yelled back, closing his eyes shut as he used his seiðr to try and look for a safe space to land. They were certainly far, far away from New York — and all the other fun states, it seemed. 

The land was sparse and cold — there was a circle of mountains covered in blankets of fresh snow, and in the heart of the circle was a small town that looked pathetic and dull. The mountains were round and somewhat flat at the top, making them a good place to land. He sighed, clearly displeased with where they’d have to settle for, before lowering the ship onto the flattest mountaintop he could find. The screaming continued long after the ship had landed and then it turned into a chorus of grievous cries. Bruce clutched his heart and slumped down onto the floor, trying to contain his breathing, while Valkyrie and Thor set off to make sure everyone was alright. Loki sat down as well, although at a much farther distance from everyone else.

He did the right thing, he supposed. The harmonized wails continued for another half hour. 

When the Asgardians had (mostly) settled down and Valkyrie found that there were no casualties in the landing, Thor spoke up with renewed, albeit shaky, hope. 

“My people!” He boomed. “Thankfully we all have survived the fall. I am not sure where we are right now, but we will proceed with respect towards the Midgardians. Worry not about the future for me, Valkyrie, Loki, and the Avengers will make sure that you all find a home again! These rough times will soon be nothing but a memory to regale as we drink mead and feast with our friends. Heed this in times of despair: Asgard is not a place, it’s a people.”

Thor seemed to be very proud of this new catchphrase. Loki expertly resisted the urge to roll his eyes — there were more pressing matters at hand than Thor’s idiocy. 

“Now,” Thor began, “let us move forth with hope!”

The Asgardians bellowed with renewed joy, smiling at each other despite their dried tears. Thor smiled to himself as he watched the dark ship light back up before he moved to open the doors of the ship. It did not budge. Thor turned back and smiled sheepishly at the crowd.

“Sorry, just—”

He tried again, his biceps flexing as he strained to pull. On the second try the doors ripped off in shreds; the cheap material then flung into the distant sun. Thor winced awkwardly and turned back to offer a hearty smile once more. 

“Come, my friends! A new chapter of our lives has begun!” Thor and the rest of the ship erupted in cheers and Loki felt the nagging desire to glue his ears shut. He stood on the broken sides of the entrance with Valkyrie, Bruce, and Thor as they did a headcount and led people out of the ship. 

“I must say I’m surprised, brother, that you truly believe something good is to come out of this.” Loki frowned and put his hand on the small of a child’s back as they tried to run back into the ship. He led them back to their mother with a sigh. “Perhaps optimism could’ve waited until after we'd disposed of this crumbling ship.” 

“And I’m not surprised that you, Loki, believe that.” Thor smiled warmly at the last of the line before patting Loki’s shoulder. “Fear not, brother, we’ll be fine. The Avengers will help us sort this out without fatalities.”

Bruce laughed at that, shaking his head in amusement. “I doubt Tony and the others will be pleased to help Loki set up an asylum for illegal aliens in the same country he was arrested for war crimes.”

At that Loki swallowed and looked outside of the ship, watching snow fall leisurely. It was cold but he couldn’t feel any burn, he could only relish in the nip that winter brought. Whatever state they were in was clearly not a popular one, but they had arrived all the same. Loki had yet to hear anyone thank him for saving everyone’s life. 

“Loki has proven with time that he’s a formidable asset to us all. If he puts his mischief to rest for the time being and continues to help us then I see no reason why our friends would not offer help,” Thor looked at Loki, “Right, Loki?”

“Right,” Loki curtly replied.

He wasn’t sure if he meant it or not. Loki honestly wasn’t sure what was going on in his head at the moment — all that he knew was that he was tired and overwhelmed and memories of the Chitauri and New York and the dark times spent underneath Thanos’ gracious “care” circa 2012 were starting to rush back tenfold. 

Valkyrie looked between the three men before gesturing towards the land before them. “We can sort this out another time. We need to focus on figuring out where the hell we are.”

Thor nodded and took the first step outside. His worn boots sunk deep into the cold of the snow and he sighed. The frost helped greatly with the humidity that had been clinging to him since the first fire lit during Ragnarok. He shivered, a sight too human to be attributed to the mighty thunder god, and motioned for the three to follow him. Valkyrie, Loki, and Bruce all shared a similar look of disbelief between each other.

“Come, the snow doesn’t bite.” Thor quickly began to set forth down the mountain, trailing down the streams of Asgardians until he reached the front to lead them.

“Well that’s ironic ‘cause we’re all at a very high risk of getting frostbite here,” Bruce’s body trembled under the sting of the weather. “Well, only I am, I guess.”

Loki was the only one who seemed virtually unharmed, his face devoid of the flush Valkyrie and Bruce had. He walked steps faster than the two through the storm despite wearing his thin green-black leather, strutting confidently at an inhuman pace. The way down the mountain was easy considering the relatively harmless structure, yet Loki made sure to enchant the slope to prevent slipping. He considered the view around him: cold, somewhat dark, familiar. His jaw tensed for the third time that minute. 

Thor waited patiently until everyone reached the bottom. He, in his assuredness, thought differently about the new land: it reminded him of Christmastime, which Steve and Clint had taught him a couple of years prior. He remembered being taught how to make “festive cookies” which he spiked with the Mead of Suttungr, an Asgardian beverage that granted the user godly wisdom. The magical cookies left a temporary effect on the Avengers which made you debate Nikolai Fyodorov with a wall for 5 hours (you didn’t even know who that was), increased Tony and Bruce’s IQ by 2000% (they took advantage of this by taking 5 or more extra strength Advils — intelligence is a burden), gave Clint and Natasha the secret of the universe (they blacked out and forgot this shortly after), and granted Steve Rogers the ability to use the Internet like a human being. 

Yes, Thor rather liked this weather. It reminded him of his friends. 

It took the refugee group an hour or so until they passed the mountain enclaves and began getting closer to a distant city. Thor tried to awaken everyone’s enthusiasm by announcing they were almost close to mankind and at some point held an intermission when he decided his people deserved a break. By the time they reached town the sun had begun to set, leaving a rainbow sky slowly fading to dark blue in its wake. The distant streetlights illuminated their path even from afar, leaving them to see a large fern green sign. It read: WELCOME TO JACKSON, WYOMING . 

Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose. 

“We’re in Wyoming?” He sighed. “Jesus Christ.” 

Valkyrie walked up from behind Bruce, advancing despite his stress. “Buckle up, tough guy, it only gets worse from here.” 

Thor didn’t hear the exchange from his spot on the trail. Rather, he listened keenly for the footsteps of Loki’s quick strides. He waited for the dark-haired god to reach him and exhaled softly when he did. 

“Does this not remind you of Jötunheimr?” He watched as Loki turned to face him, face dark and mixed with emotion. 

“Jötunheimr was far colder and less modernized than this,” Loki scoffed, gesturing towards the quaint bars and gift shops decorated in wreaths in holly. “Though I suppose I never spent enough time there to tell the difference.”

Thor was quiet. Then,

“We will be okay brother, I assure you.” A pause. 

“I know.” He didn’t. As Loki looked around the small town he truly did not know what the future held, and he was usually ahead of every game.

“Uno!” You yelled out at the top of your lungs. “I freaking win. Kapow!”

The Avengers Compound was, by pedestrian standards, normal for the week. The holiday season had arrived and, in return, so did a week-and-a-half-long break from missions and (most) formal duties. This was new for the Avengers, as it wasn’t always that Nick Fury let them off easy. He never let them off at all— case in point for why all of the Avengers relished their freely allotted time, a sight not common for the Earth’s Mightiest Heroes. Vision and Wanda were snuggled up and watching TV- they were caught up in the psychological world of You . Wanda smiled freakishly whenever Joe and Love interacted, noting how “ interesting ” the dynamic was, whereas Vision commented thoroughly on the toxic nature of their obsessions. Pietro was buying a limited edition Victoria's Secret lingerie set with a complimentary perfume set for a girl he made crazy eye contact with on the subway (he had to race back to the station to ask for her number, in turn knocking over a streetlamp on accident). Steve was making dinner with Natasha, who was helping him to make sure it didn’t taste like the Great Depression. Clint was in the kitchen with them, refusing to help and rather choosing to annoy the pair. 

Meanwhile, the rest of the Avengers sat in a circle dirtied by chocolate and pizza on the expensive marbled floors, playing elementary card games. Peter was seemingly the only one affected by the diet as he clutched his stomach in pain and excused himself to the bathroom after a loud noise erupted from his stomach. 

“Kapow?” Tony scrunches his nose up in distaste. “Just for that, I’m demanding— not requesting— a rematch. Best out of three thousand?”

“Nope. I won fair and square,” You waved your empty hands around in the air, showing off the proof of your victory. “All of you are grown men who don’t know how to play Uno. Uno is the easiest game in the world, mind you.” 

Bucky threw his cards at the floor and cradled the left side of his face with his metal hand. Sam picked up his cards and collected the rest, stacking them neatly into one pile. 

“That’s gotta be cheating.” Bucky looked back up with a face reddened by anger. “I saw you do something to the cards, like, six times!” 

“Okay, well, you can’t even say what I did with the cards. No proof no verdict, Ugly McFarty,” You picked up a card and threw it at Bucky’s head, who looked to Sam to support. He did not receive any.

“Come on, Bucky, it’s Uno.” Sam stood up and motioned for the others to help clean up. 

Bucky considered crawling back to his room. He didn’t understand anything modern — Uno included. The extensive John Pork-Tim Cheese lore that you had explained in full the night before made more sense than this. 

“It’s more than Uno,” Bucky grumbled. He picked up a Pepsi can and gripped it until the aluminum crushed. “It’s the fact that she keeps cheating!”

“Oh, boo-hoo, ” Your smugness was short-lived as you began to violently choke on a glob of spit. Tony quickly hit your back as a reflex; you were often clumsy at inopportune moments. 

“Karma’s a bitch.” Tony quipped.

Bucky raised the crushed aluminum can in agreement.

“Hear, hear.”

You furrowed your brows in confusion. 

“‘Hear hear’ what?”

“What?”

“What are you hearing twice?”

“It’s a saying.”

“Well, stop saying it.”

Bucky was about to reply when the sudden sound of a grating alarm rang throughout the compound. You covered your ears and Tony simply rolled his eyes and threw his head back in exhaustion as soon as F.R.I.D.A.Y. revealed the nature of the alarm.

“Director Fury is calling, sir,” she relayed in a slight Irish accent. 

They had only gotten half a day of rest before being called back to presumably another “life-threatening mission” that would inescapably ruin everyone’s schedule and mood for the next few months. No one picked up to take pleasure in the last few moments of roleplayed unemployment before answering the call. 

“Conference room in 2.” Fury hung up immediately. 

Sam laughed under his breath ruefully. Fury was usually cut and dry, but he could at least have given them time to respond. 

“Guess that means this is serious.” Sam threw away the last of the trash and motioned to help get you off the ground. You accepted gratefully, thanking him as you regained your composure.

Peter returned shortly after with a flushed face and hazy eyes. Whatever went down in the bathroom was nuclear. You smiled and waved at him as soon as he entered. Peter waved back, although in confusion. 

“Hey, what happened? I heard the emergency alarm thingy.” Peter rubbed his abdomen, pained.

“Captain Hook wants a word with us. You good, kid? Need a Pepto Bismol?” Tony finished by popping a pill and watering it down with unidentifiable sludge from his flask. The others looked at him in disgust. 

“No, I’m good, Mr. Stark.” Peter was about to comment on the pill-sludge smoothie when he was cut off by Tony walking past him with a lazy smile. 

“Good, ‘cause we don’t have time for stomach bugs right now. C’mon, Penguins of Madagascar, at my beck and call.” 

The conference room was already full with the resident Avengers, save for the five seats waiting for them. You quickly shoved past the others to get to Bucky, who looked less than pleased to be seated next to a cheater. You offered him a smile and took out your obnoxiously bedazzled notebook covered with pink gemstones from an equally embarrassing pink bag embroidered with hearts, tossing it onto the table. You then dug through the bag for a pen, exclaiming in mirth when you found a glitter pen adorned with a pink pom-pom at the top. You ripped out a piece of paper and wrote, in illegible handwriting: SORRY FOR CHEATING BUT I KINDA DON’T CARE BUT IF YOU CARE THEN I CARE IG BUT YEAH SORRY I WONT DO IT NEXT TIME I PROMISE IM SORRY FINE SHYT WILL YOU STILL LET ME HIT 

Bucky scoffed and looked away, only to be nudged restlessly by your nagging arm. He turned to you and you stared at him with wide, expectant eyes. He reluctantly took the pen and wrote on the other side: “Its OK and no” 

You smiled at Bucky and left the paper there for Bucky to take and keep as a relic (he was not going to take the paper). Sam took the paper instead when he sat down and shook his head as he read it. Bucky gave him a look that said can you believe this guy? but Sam offered him a smile that said you’re just as bad as her for engaging.  

Your antics were shut down by Nick Fury, who stared at you with a deadpan expression. You sat up a little straighter at the sight of his seriousness. He looked away and breathed in sharply. 

“We have a problem,” Fury addressed. “Yesterday afternoon our satellites picked up a shift in the atmosphere. We thought it was another asteroid, but it turns out an alien spaceship has landed on American soil without clearance.” Fury paused to turn to the digital projector, which now displayed an unplayed video taken from an iPhone back camera. “Take a look at this here.”

The camera moved shakily for a second before settling clearly on a group of thousands of beautiful and otherworldly beings huddling together on a dim and narrow street. In the front of the crowd were two men, opposite in nature yet similar in height, who stepped forward with another man, a woman clad in armor, and a sentient rock holding a purple alien.

“Is that-” Steve began, only to be interrupted by the squeals of young women.

“Thor! Hulk!” The people in the video chanted, yelling over each other with praise and signature requests. The Avengers stilled. Suddenly the chants were interrupted by Loki’s cunning theatrics.

“Midgardians!” He yelled out with outstretched arms. The town was completely, eerily silent by the time he started speaking. “We mean no harm! We simply wish to stay in this humble, gracious town until we can make our way back to the Avengers. I’m sure you all understand how perilous this journey has been for us, so I think it’s in order that I have a luxurious bath and a supply of wine and cheese arranged to be sent to my private suite-”

Thor pulled him back by his arm and hissed in his ear, “I said I’m doing the talking.”

Loki wriggled out his grasp and readjusted his leather, embarrassed.

“I’m handling this just fine, thank you.” Loki waved at one of the onlookers who gave him a nasty look in return. Lovely. 

Thor rolled his eyes and pushed Loki away. 

“Yes, I vouch for my brother's words. Although we do not need *luxury*,” He looked pointedly at Loki. “We do ask that you provide me and my people with a place to stay in these trying times. Asgard is gone. We have no home. I cannot offer much, but I can offer that we will try to relocate by tomorrow morning.” With that, the crowd began to erupt in chaos. 

End video.

“What, so Thor’s in Yellowjackets now?” Rhodey gestured towards the screen in bewilderment. “And was that Bruce?”

“ Yes ,” Fury emphasized, “we have illegal aliens and a missing Avenger on the loose in Wyoming. We need to stop this from blowing up in our damn faces.”

You habitually pulled out your phone and were only 2 TikToks deep when you found the same video from a different angle. You tilted your screen towards the others in shock.

“It lowkey already went viral,”  you shook your head. “That’s so weird. This video was uploaded, like, an hour ago. Don't you have PR agents or something?”

“We're working on trying to suppress the media. More than a couple blurry videos will come up to bite our asses if we let them stay there.” Fury motioned to end the projector and turned to stare at the team. He observed them and then straightened his back. “Steve, Natasha, Y/N, and Vision, you’re going to Wyoming. Don’t mess this up.”

“How do we know the town isn’t burnt down already?” Steve said. “With Loki back on the planet he’s likely to do something dangerous. Shouldn’t we apprehend him?”

Nick Fury turned his back to the team, already halfway out the door. 

“I guess there’s only one way to find out.”