Release the kraken
It started with a mist, an unnatural mist that rose thick and cloying in the middle of a bright clear day. Fools that they were they had dismissed it as just a freak of bad weather. They should have known better. The mist was no natural phenomenon. It was the first warning of the Calamity that was to befall them.
The white haired captain with the eyepatch and the extravagant hat had smiled eerily from behind his mask as the many tiny demons that accompanied him laid waste to their vessel. How such small creatures could cause so much destruction was a mystery for the ages but they did. There was the mad eyed red haired one that scoured the deck of their ship with a sandstorm that he called father, there was the green one that stopped in the middle of his looting to do a thousand press-ups as penance for failing to match the pale and creepy one’s achievements. There was also the little pyromaniac that had set all the rum on fire, and the pink haired one that had got into everyones private letters and read them in front of the whole crew. But worst of all was the blonde one, the one that gave the others orders and always seemed to know exactly what to do to cause the most havoc, and called the Captain Nii san.
They had tried to fight back of course. They were seasoned swashbucklers, hardened men of the seas. They had seen off a dozen pirate raids and most of them had participated in their fair share, and while they weren’t prepared for the onslaught of the tiny demons they weren’t caught unarmed either.
It didn’t help. The tiny demons were a force of nature, and any time it looked like chance or clever planning might give them the advantage over one of them, one of the larger demons watching from the devil ship’s deck would intervene in a flash of smoke and deadly intent.
And then the captain had said the fateful words. “Naruto, release the kraken.”
The groaning of timbers and the harsh snap of the mast was accompanied by flashes of tentacles too massive to be real, of angles too alien to fully comprehend, and a deep sense of animal fear at something wrong with the world.
When the survivors, shellshocked and broken in the aftermath of the destruction made their way into port, they were met with disbelief of course. Sailors might love tall tales but there was only so much even they would take on faith. They were met with disbelief of course. Right up until the doubters were dragged down to the harbour to see the barely afloat wreakage of their ship and the marks razor toothed tentacles had left on the hull.
After that, they didn’t have to pay for any of their own drinks. Never let it be said that sailors didn’t know how to take advantage of their own misfortune.
…
The backroom of the bar was poorly lit and badly furnished, but unlike his rooms at the palace, it at least guaranteed privacy. The landlady owed him, for a little misunderstanding with the city guard he had managed to clear up, and she made sure no-one was able to listen in. Discretion was a valuable commondity in short supply in the capital.
When he arrived Kurenai was already there waiting, draped artfully over the divan, Asuma was reminded of nothing so much as a spider relaxing in its web. She wasn’t alone though, and maybe he shouldn’t be so surprised, Kurenai always was good at seizing opportunities, no wonder she’d done a Hatake when the opportunity arose.
The kids were uncannily quiet, crouched in the corner in a predatory huddle. They looked the same age as Neiji but their eyes were old and wary in a way that he couldn’t match. Branch house Hyyuuga, born slave and raised killer he might be, but he was still very young in a lot of ways that these kids simply weren’t. The blond looked like a Yamanaka to Asuma’s eye, and he’d lay even odds on the other two being Akimichi and Aburame respectively. Add together clan kids and the kind of old wary eyes he wasn’t used to seeing on kids too young to have faced the last war, and it was easy enough to draw conclusions. It looked like Kurenai had stolen some of Danzo’s little brainwashed minions. Time would tell whether that was a good thing or not.
“I take it you’ve managed to confirm what I told you then.” Kurenai smiled at him. It was a distracting smile, full of teeth and promises.
“Yes.” Asuma didn’t bother denying it. He was a ninja, paranioa was just good practice, and Kurenai respected him enough to expect nothing less. “I also managed to find a lead.”
“Really?” Kurenai leaned forward, exposing her cleavage as she did so. “Do tell.” Asuma took a moment before answering. Pulled out a cigarette, lit it and took a long slow drag while he gathered his thoughts and tried to distract himself from the appealingly dangerous image she made.
“Word on the street is one of Lady Butterfly’s girls was killed the other night. Word is she might have heard something she shouldn’t have.” He leaned back against the doorway with that lazy smile he knew irritated her and drew her in at the same time. Kurenai wasn’t the only one who knew how to be appealing.
“And it must have been something big, to be worth crossing the Lady over.” Kurenai connected the dots quickly, she always was quick on the uptake. “I take it you and me are taking a little trip then.”
“Won’t it be interesting seeing what we can shake out of the woodwork,” Asuma grinned then, a predators smile he knew was every bit a match for hers, because she wasn’t the only one with a taste for blood, and he had the scent of the hunt now.
“Oh yes. Are we bringing the children along or did you have something else in mind for them?” She purred.
“That depends. How good are yours at formal functions?”
“So, so.” She admitted. “They have the basics, but I haven’t really had them long enough to start rebuilding their social skills after Danzo messed them up. Why?”
“There’s a party being held by one of the more… active court factions. A lot of very important, very ambitious people will be there. If they can be trusted to attend and keep out of trouble, they might just overhear something useful.” Kurenai visibly considered the idea.
“Well they won’t make trouble at least. I assume your kid knows how to behave.”
“As long as he keeps his temper yeah. Noble clan training counts for something after all.”
“I wouldn’t know.” She answered softly, with just a hint of bitter amusement, “Still. It sounds like we might as well send them. They have to learn sometime. It’s not like they can get into that much trouble.” She nodded decisively then, and clapped her hands that made the three former root members stand to attention. “Well well my little ducklings, it looks like you shall go to the ball. Do be good and follow dear Neiji’s lead, he knows how to behave at such events I’m sure.”
Asuma suddenly had an intense premonition of disaster, if Kurenai hadn’t chosen that exact moment to smile at him, he might even have done something about it.
…
Hizashi stood at the crossroads wearing sunglasses set no. 29, obnoxious tourist with phrasebook, in order to avoid suspicion, and considered his path. One way led to the capital and all its luxury and decadent corruption, the other led to the mountains with their fresh clean air and chronic bandit infestation.
If he was alone, he would of course have gone to the capital. Corruption was always a sure gurantee of employment for a skilled ninja, and it was nice being able to enjoy some of the finer things in life while working.
But he wasn’t alone, and exposing his darling little princess to that cesspit of immorality was definitely not going to happen. Bandits were also a pretty sure gurantee of employment for a skilled ninja even if it did mean more camping than Hizashi had ever been especially keen on.
Hinata looked up at him in sunglasses set no. 79, cute child tourist who doesn’t speak the language, adorably innocent and precious, and Hizashi resigned himself to refreshing his wilderness survival skills.
…
Shino was visibly confused. Unusual for him, he didn’t have the most expressive of faces, but maybe Ebisu was just getting better at reading him. That was good. It was hard to teach someone if you didn’t know what effect you were having on them, and Ebisu was determined to do a good job of teaching young Shino, not just because the Aburame clan head had entrusted Ebisu with his education, but because Shino was truly a joy to teach. Calm, and considered, and inquisitive, and polite, and he always had intelligent questions to ask about anything Ebisu taught him.
“Sensei,” he asked softly, “I must confess to finding myself confused. Why? Because instead of looking for traditional missing nin work, we are seeking employment with local law enforcement. It is not the usual career path for those in our circumstances.”
“The key to success in life.” Ebisu told his quiet new student, as they passed through chaos ridden streets. “Is a good work ethic. Other missing nin might abandon all concept of propriety and right conduct in the heady rush of freedom and the excitement of rebellion. But we must be better, we must keep our heads. Just because we are outlaws doesn’t mean we can’t be responsible and upstanding members of society. It certainly doesn’t mean we can simply run around wreaking havoc wherever we choose, and those who do must be resisted.”
“I see.” Shino replied softly. “So, we are seeking to utilise our unique skillset in ways that will preserve the order of society. That seems logical” Ebisu coughed uncomfortably.
“Well yes there’s that I suppose.” Then, as they came up to the door of a police station that had been spray painted with a truly appalling amount of green glitter he continued. “But mostly there’s this. Anko has been loose unopposed in Fire country for over a month, at this point we can probably name our terms if we agree to hunt her down. Finally, I will have official support in hunting her down like she deserves, and be paid for doing so.”
“I see.” Shino said thoughtfully. “So in resisting chaos and working to re-establish order in society, we can demand handsome rewards from the authorities.”
“That is correct.” Ebisu smiled delightedly at how quick on the uptake his new student was. “Of course we don’t want to actually stop them permanently. No, that way leads to unemployment and an ungrateful public. No what we want is not only to make it look like we are sincerely trying to stop her, with a reasonable level of success, but to make it look like we are the only ones with even the slightest hope of being able to match her. Wherever possible she should escape throught the incompetence of others, or the intervention of third parties.” Hunting Anko down and making her pay was one thing, willingly making himself obsolete was quite another. Ebisu was still a ninja after all.
“So we want her to wreak havoc?”
“Not exactly. We of course, want to oppose her havoc, thwart it wherever possible in such a way that she is caught in the aftermath of her own chaos, and gloat when we make her plans fall apart on her in the most humiliating way possible. We just want to make sure that she’s always around to be thwarted, over, and over and over again, until she is ground into the dust of her own despir and failure.” Ebisu smiled then, the smile of someone who had been on the receiving end of far too many of Anko’s pranks and finally saw an opportunity to get back at her.
“This sounds a little… personal, sensei.”
“All the best rivalries are, my brilliant apprentice.” Shino looked considering then.
Didn’t she take Kiba with her when she left?” And there was calculation in his eyes as the possibilities occurred to him.
“Yes she did. Well remembered my young student. It appears he is her accomplice in wreaking havoc.” From the small smile Shino allowed to creep across his face he was fully on board with the plan, it was a smile of vengeance.