Chapter 6
Temari slaps Gaara’s hand away from the scab he picks at on his arm, “Stop.”
Gaara’s hand drops. Kankuro picks up his arm and examines the damage.
“Shouldn’t your sand stop you from doing that?” he asks, and Gaara shrugs.
“The more control I get over it the more I can suppress even my shield. Not always though. Only when I really try.”
“You’re trying to injure yourself?”
“I don’t think so. But subconsciously I guess I stopped the sand anyway.”
They seem to believe him, and Gaara makes an effort to leave his blisters alone. They’re barely there anyway, thanks to Shukaku slowly and reluctantly healing him.
~~~~~~
Temari pulls him aside one morning while Kankuro is digging in the fridge for ingredients for breakfast.
“Kankuro’s birthday is soon,” she says, “I think we should plan something for him. What do you think?”
Gaara blinks at her. What do people usually do on birthdays? For one of his Yashamaru made him a cake, but…
“A cake?” he offers, unsure.
“Yes! We should make him one!” Temari grins, “We should have a party.”
“A party?” Gaara asks, before he thinks it over, “...He would like that.”
“Ya think so?”
Gaara nods. Parties always sounded enjoyable from what he'd heard. He's never been to one, though.
“Okay! So we’ll make a cake and plan a party. I think that’ll be nice. Between the two of us we should be able to get it done. We can’t tell him anything, okay?”
“We can’t?” Gaara asks. He doesn’t really like hiding things from his siblings anymore.
Temari shrugs, “Well, birthday parties are usually surprises.”
Gaara blinks at her, “Oh. Okay.”
~~~~~
He and Temari sneak out of the mansion and buy decorations and ingredients for a cake two days later. He shakes Temari awake early that morning, when he knows his older brother is still asleep but the shops have just begun to open, and they tiptoe through the house, talking in hushed voices as they list what they have and what they need.
They soundlessly leave the mansion and huddle together over their list, searching markets and gathering what they need. They buy presents as well, stuffing their bags full.
Once again, Temari ignores the whispers and stares and keeps her focus on her brother like she intends to distract him as well, until she hears someone’s conversation and pauses. Gaara doesn’t look at her. Who knows what they’re saying about him, or what she heard.
“Gaara.” she turns, smiling lightly at him, “They’re talking about how you helped saved the village from the Cloud.”
He blinks. What?
His sister just smiles at him and moves to the next market, list in hand. Gaara rushes to follow her.
~~~~~
Trying to keep the party under wraps poses as a challenge--even with Baki’s help.
Baki takes Kankuro out for training at Temari’s request, and she and Gaara huddle around the bowl in the kitchen and dump eggs, cake mix and sugar into it, clumsily following the directions that Baki carefully left for them.
Kankuro is the chef out of the three of them, and without him they stumble through measuring out butter and powdered sugar for frosting.
Temari preheats the oven too high.
Gaara puts entirely too much food coloring in the frosting.
By the end they’re both covered in flour and just happy that the thing isn’t lopsided.
“It looks good.” Temari sighs, hands on her hips as she looks over their work. Gaara nods.
Before them is a very, very, very purple cake.
~~~~~~~
Cleaning the kitchen, themselves, wrapping up the cake and then slyly giving it to Baki when he drops off Kankuro is both a test of strength, stealth and will that thankfully Temari and Gaara are able to pull off somehow.
It would be too risky to keep the cake in their house--the chances of Kankuro stumbling across it are too great--so giving it to Baki was their only option. He’d agreed to keep it safe until Kankuro’s birthday.
Their brother doesn’t suspect a thing.
~~~~~~~
It’s late that night that Gaara gets an idea.
And it’s terrifying, but it could be the beginning of the rest of his life. A good life. For him. And that worth the effort, he thinks.
~~~~~~~~
“Why don’t we get many S or A rank missions?” Gaara asks one day after training.
The fact that Baki isn’t afraid of train him already means that Gaara trusts him more than anyone outside of Temari and Kankuro, so the question he has to ask is something he can trust Baki with, he thinks. He would ask his siblings, but he doesn’t want them to know yet, and he doesn't want to distract from planning for Kankuro's birthday. He still needs an outside opinion.
“Well, you three are the Fourth’s children, so politically speaking, we can’t put you in too much danger, which is why you three have only done the few A rank missions that specifically require your skills. The regular troops are the ones who--”
“Could I join?” Gaara asks suddenly, not looking at him, “Do you think I could?”
Baki blinks at him, surprised, “Well, of course I think you could , but why would you want to? Wouldn’t you rather stay with Temari and Kankuro?”
Gaara shrugs, “I want to, but I’m not sure that’s best.”
“Why? Did something happen?”
“No. I just need to start...talking to other people. I need to...to...” the boy trails off, and Baki nods.
“You’re trying to be a part of the village.” Baki finishes for him. Gaara tenses and freezes, still refusing to look him in the eye.
Baki moves to stand in front of him and his face goes serious and hard before he leans down to be eye-level with the child. The man looks at him intently, and Gaara fights the urge to take a step back from the scrutinizing gaze that’s a lot closer than he’s used to anyone but his siblings being. Gaara doesn’t move, but he can’t help leaning back slightly, surprised and somewhat alarmed. Baki wouldn’t hurt him, he's sure, but it’s still odd behavior even for his very unusual sensei.
After a moment Baki simply blinks and says, “You can do it. I think you’ll be very good at it. You should try.”
Gaara looks up at him as the man straightens, “Really?”
Baki nods, “You’ll win them over. Just don’t stop trying, alright? You’ll definitely get there.”
Gaara feels his eyes go wide as he nods.
Baki continues with training like nothing has happened at all.
~~~~~~~~
The morning of Kankuro’s birthday Gaara is hanging up a banner with his sister while Baki hangs the streamers.
They’re lucky Kankuro likes to sleep in late, or else they’d have no window of time to decorate at all. Baki unwraps the cake and Gaara watches as he places the candles carefully in the shape of a 14. He steps back and examines it.
“You two did a good job.”
Temari grins, “Ya think so?”
Baki nods, “It’s very...uh, purple.”
“Kankuro likes purple.” Gaara offers helpfully.
They have the place decorated within two hours, and by the time Kankuro stumbles down the stairs, rubbing his eyes and grumbling, the entire place is set up and they’re waiting on him to show up, more than anything.
Kankuro stares at them through tired eyes, brain catching up with the rest of him.
“Happy birthday!” Temari cheers.
Gaara hands him one of his presents, “This one is from me.”
~~~~~~~~
“You guys really did this for me?” Kankuro sniffles.
“Are you crying?” Gaara asks.
“No .”
~~~~~~~~
“Have you thought more about joining the troops?” Baki asks the next morning.
Gaara nods, “I want to do it.”
“Have you looked into the requirements yet?”
He shakes his head, “Not yet.”
“Well, Suna demands that all shinobi pass a written test, so they’re sure of everyone’s skills before we place them into squads--”
“A test?”
Temari nods, “To evaluate reading, writing and problem solving skills. Things like that.”
Gaara frowns.
“They have practice tests.” Baki tells him, “I’ll bring you one.”
~~~~
Gaara fails the practice test by two points.
He finds that it’s hard to fail when one is used to being easily able to take to difficult things. His writing and reading scores were the lowest, and Baki looks over his test carefully as Gaara shifts and fidgets next to him, unsure what to think. His IQ and scores for the problem solving portion are off the charts, almost breaking records--Baki says--but his reading and writing are almost abysmal.
Gaara, having never went to the academy and who was left alone for most of his childhood, is told he needs to attend remedial classes to improve his reading and writing, not to mention his mathematics. He’s at a subpar level, and if he’s going to go on regular mission with the regular troops he’ll need to improve. He could either go to classes at the academy, or he could handle it himself and take the test when he feels ready, on his own time. He chooses the latter. He’s already focused on so much, and he doesn't want to overwhelm himself with too many new experiences so soon. That, and he’s a bit nervous and embarrassed that he has to improve on such a basic skill to begin with, and he knows that going to school now, as socially stunted as he is, would be something akin to a nightmare.
Granted he should have these things down, but when one is a volatile and violent child with immense power, few adults are going to force them to go to school, hence why--though he's wildly intelligent--Gaara doesn't quite match up when it comes to reading or writing written word. Not like the elders would have allowed him to go to school with the rest of Suna's children anyway. His father had tutored him, but then early on he was passed onto Yashamaru, and once his uncle died and Gaara spun out of control, his education pretty much ended at age six. Baki tells him he's only twelve, and he'll catch up easier than he thinks, but he isn't so sure.
Gaara had planned to tackle the task of his re-education himself, but of course Temari and Kankuro end up involved and insist on helping. They refuse to let him do this alone, and Gaara is grateful. They're not thrilled about him wanting to join the regular troops, but they don't try to stop him. They seem more inclined to try and be as supportive of his choice as possible, though they still worry. He can see it.
Kankuro helps with his writing, having the best spelling and handwriting of all three of them, and Temari helps him with his reading, seeing as she reads quicker and more smoothly than her brothers.
Kankuro buys him some study and workbooks, and Temari picks up some mid-level books about plants.
“I think it’ll be easier if you’re using material you’re interested in.” she says in way of an explanation, “Baki mentioned you looking at some cacti in the sand pits the last time you were training, so I figured plants and gardening would be a good place to start.”
~~~~~
“Temari?” What does that say?” Gaara asks, pointing to a long, complicated word in one of his study books.
His older sister puts down her fan and the cloth she's using to clean it and pulls Gaara closer to her to get a better look, leaning her arm on his shoulder.
“Let's sound out the syllables,” she says, “I could tell you, but I think it'd be fulfilling for you to figure it out yourself.”
Gaara nods and she takes a seat beside him, both of them leaning over the book. She helps him with the letters, and soon he knows both the definition, how to say it, and how to spell it.
“Thank you.” Gaara mumbles shyly to his sister, still new at being able to ask for help from someone who will actually acknowledge him.
“No problem.” Temari says easily, and Gaara notices how she doesn’t hesitate even a beat before she says, “Always here if you need me.”
Gaara nods, “I know.”
She smiles.
~~~~~
“How's it going?”
“My hand hurts.” Gaara frowns, putting the pen down and shrugging, “And I can't get some of the letters right.”
Kankuro looks over his words, a slight smile in his lips, “But you're doing better. Your handwriting is a lot less shaky, you just need more practice, squirt.”
Temari appears by his side, “Yeah! You improved a lot.”
Kankuro moves around Temari to lean on the desk Gaara sits at, “Here.”
He shows him how to rewrite one of the words in which he missed a letter, and then Gaara tries, hand shaky as he holds the pen, grip awkward and unused to doing such a thing.
“There you go.” Kankuro smiles once he's done, “You're going to get it in no time.”
Gaara blinks down at the paper and frowns, “I hope so.”
“Hey,” Kankuro says again, suddenly very serious, “You'll get it. Trust me, okay?”
Gaara has never been good with trust.
But he chooses to trust his brother.
~~~~
Gaara opens the door the next morning to find Baki on the other side. Gaara looks up at him, not knowing what to say. They aren’t supposed to train until tomorrow.
“Come on.” Baki says, turning on his heel.
And Gaara goes with hardly a thought. He doesn’t have his gourd, and he doesn't have anything other than his nighttime clothing on, but he puts on his shoes and runs to catch up with his teacher, looking up at him in question as he follows him.
He leads him past the medical ward of the Kazekage complex and then through the center of the village, already bleached with sun despite how early it is. Gaara finds himself walking a little closer to Baki’s familiar presence under the eyes of the village, who stare and whisper as he walks past them.
The man seems to notice Gaara’s discomfort and--much to Gaara’s surprise--puts a hand on his shoulder and moves to partially shield the child from the village’s gaze. Baki doesn’t say anything, but Gaara knows.
Baki is protecting him.
~~~~
It’s a plant sanctuary. Baki props open the door and leads Gaara inside, taking him around to all the potted plants on the tables and telling Gaara about each one.
The boy goes from confused to interested, eyeing each plant as Baki explains how they grow and what they’re good for.
Baki shows him the cacti next. They’re small, bulbous little things, covered in spikes and flowers, and Gaara finds himself drawn to them.
He points to one, “What kind is this?”
Baki explains and Gaara picks up the potted plant, looking at it intently. The flower is purple. Kankuro would like it. He picks up another. It has a gold-yellow flower. It reminds him of Temari’s hair.
“Do you like those?” Baki asks. Gaara doesn’t look away from the plants, but he nods.
Baki studies him for a moment, “They’re yours. You only have to water them every few days.”
Gaara looks up at him, “I can...have them?”
“Yes. You’ve been working hard lately, I think these two would be good for you. Take good care of them, alright?”
Gaara nods.
~~~~
He secretly names his cacti. The one with the purple flower is Kankuro, and the gold one is Temari. When they’ve gotten bigger he plans to give them to them, as a thank you for helping him as much as they have. It can’t have been easy.
His room feels a little fuller with the plants on his windowsill. It’s like they’re alive and occupying the room with him.