Naruto
“Niisan! Niisan! Wake up! Wake UP!”
Itachi groans, yanked unceremoniously from a deep sleep by Sasuke bouncing on his bed (and on his lower back).
“Hey-ow-could you- ow- I just need a minu-ow!”
Itachi manages to turn over enough to wrangle Sasuke by wrapping him up in his blanket and holding him fast.
“Come on Sasuke, I got home really late,” he scolds, rubbing his eye with the heel of his free hand.
Sasuke doesn’t even register he’s being scolded, still vibrating from excitement and bouncing as much as he’s able.
“I got my report card today!” he chirps, squirming to get free. “Lemme go, I wanna show ya!”
There’s the unmistakable crinkle of paper in Sasuke’s back pocket, and Itachi is far too tired to keep holding Sasuke down, so he releases his little brother and pulls himself into a proper sitting position.
“Aww, c’mon Niisan, now it’s all crumbled!”
“Your fault for waking me up,” Itachi mutters.
“It’s three thirty! Nobody sleeps at three thirty!”
“People who get home at three AM do.”
Have I really been out that long? Itachi wonders to himself.
(his three or four days without any sleep seem to have finally caught up to him.)
He hadn’t even changed out of his mission clothes before he crawled into bed, even. And the horrible taste in his mouth reminds him it’s been too long since he’s brushed his teeth.
Sasuke seems blissfully unaware of how grimy his older brother is, though. He shoves the crumpled report card in Itachi’s face, so close it’s near impossible to read it.
“Alright, alright, give it here.”
Itachi blinks a few times to get his eyes to focus. Sasuke bounches in anticipation.
Fives all across the board on the report card, and glowing endorsements from all his teachers. Comments about how clever, how attentive he is. Not one single late assignment or missed lesson.
(of course, Itachi expected nothing less from his beloved baby brother.)
“This is great, Sasuke,” Itachi says, with as much enthusiasm as his exhausted body can muster. “Have you shown dad yet?”
Abruptly, Sasuke stops bouncing. His smile vanishes, replaced by a frustrated pout.
“Yeah, I showed him,” he mumbles, the joy drained out of his voice.
Itachi frowns as well, tilting his head.
“What’s wrong?”
Sasuke looks away, his voice coming in a small whine.
“He just told me that if I keep doing this well, I’d be a good ninja like you.”
Well then.
Their father means well. Itachi is pretty sure, at least. But meaning well doesn’t really prevent the way it makes Sasuke feel to be told such things.
An idea pops into Itachi’s head. Or rather, two ideas simultaneously that set off a lightbulb in his head.
“Hey get off,” he says, nudging Sasuke away.
“Aww, do I have to?”
“I have to take a shower, Sasuke. Once I’m cleaned up I’ve got somewhere for us to go, okay?”
“Eh? Where?”
“Just trust me okay?”
“Where are you two off to?” their mother asks, hauling a basket of laundry outside to hang up.
“I’m gonna help Sasuke with some of his homework, but we need to grab some stuff from the library,” itachi answers, the lie coming as naturally as breathing.
Sasuke opens his mouth to voice his confusion, but catches onto his intent soon enough, and remains quiet.
Mikoto laughs a bit, smiling affectionately at her younger son.
“Well, don’t take too long. Be back by seven for dinner, alright?”
“Okay!”
Itachi must still look ragged, because she has a worried look when she glances at him.
“Are you sure you’re good to go out, hon?” she asks, putting the back of her hand against his forehead. “You were asleep for a really long time, and you’re really pale-”
“I’m fine, I promise,” Itachi reassures her. “I feel great, and besides, it’s just a trip to the library.”
If I’m good enough to go out on a mission, I’m good enough to take my brother out, he snarks in his head, but doesn’t say out loud.
“Well, if you’re sure.”
Itachi nods, opening the door
Sasuke hangs tightly to Itachi’s arm, over the moon with joy at finally having time to spend with his big brother again.
“So what’s the big idea here, Niisan?” he asks. “It better be good if you’re lying to mom about it.”
“Like I said- we’re going to the library.”
“But I don’t need to go to the library?”
“Just trust me, okay?”
“I’d rather go get ice cream than books,” Sasuke says, giving Itachi a sly sideways glance.
“Absolutely not- Mom’ll give me an earful if I let you spoil your appetite before dinner.”
“Aww, you’re no fun.”
Sasuke pouts again, but Itachi doesn’t fall for it. He keeps an eye on the giant clock in the center of town; if he timed this right, he knows who to expect soon.
(after school is prime time for getting into trouble, after all.)
Turning his eyes to the mountainside, his suspicion is confirmed .
The faces of the Hokage are desecrated with crude graffiti. The Sandaime in particular had extra effort put in, with a monocle and what Itachi is pretty sure is supposed to be a giant booger hanging out of his nose. Smelly stupid old man is plastered in horrendous handwriting across his forehead.
Sasuke snorts, then starts cackling.
“Oh he’s really gonna get it now,” he gasps out between peals of laughter.
Itachi looks around, hoping he can spot the culprit in the crowd.
“Niisan! Over there!”
He leads Itachi into the narrow passage where the flash of orange vanished between two shops. Naruto squeals like a stuck pig when Itachi snags the back of his jacket, kicking and demanding to be let go.
“Hey what’s the big idea-dattebayo?!”
“Oh hush.”
Itachi surprises himself with how much like his father he sounds when he makes the order. There’s enough authority behind it that Naruto immediately falls silent.
The boy turns big blue eyes up at him, already flinching from the prospect of being yelled at.
“Come on, you gotta get out of here before you get found.”
“Eh?”
“I thought I was pretty clear. Just come on.”
Naruto still looks skeptical, so Sasuke chimes in.
“Niisan always has good ideas, you don’t gotta worry.”
Still wary, Naruto nods, and follows their lead to the library.
“Here we are- I’ve gotta find some stuff for work, but you two can pick out whatever you want, okay? I’ll go ahead and check it out for you.”
Sasuke gets starry-eyed, bouncing in place.
“You mean it? Even if it’s manga?”
“Sure. But if mom asks, I didn’t know you were checking it out.”
“Okay!”
Not wasting another moment, Sasuke takes off toward the shelves at the far side, where all the comics are stored.
Naruto hangs back, fidgeting and staring at his feet.
“Hey, something wrong?” Itachi asks, well familiar with that sort of posture.
Naruto grumbles something he can’t quite make out, an ugly scowl on his face.
“Beg your pardon?”
“...can’t really read,” he mumbles. “Nothin’ here’ll do me any good.”
“Hm.”
Itachi scratches his chin, puzzled.
(Kushina must be rolling in her grave, at her son being so thoroughly neglected.)
“Well, you can write a little, right?”
“Yeah, why?”
Itachi closes one eye, an idea forming in his mind.
“So go pick up some manga with Sasuke. Even if you can’t read a lot, the pictures will help you know what’s going on, won’t they? You like art, so that should work for you.”
Naruto catches the playful note in Itachi’s voice, and snorts.
“I guess so,” he giggles, his demeanor lifting significantly.
He goes to join Sasuke, leaving Itachi to head to the restricted section to retrieve some materials Orochimaru says he might need.
(Danzo had agreed to that, bizarrely enough, so Itachi figures he must really need them.)
He spends a couple hours browsing through them, ultimately deciding he wants to take them home after all so he can understand them properly.
The man running the front desk gives him a skeptical look when he goes to check them out. He inspects Itachi’s ninja ID meticulously, eyebrow raised high enough to disappear in the fringe of his graying hair.
“Alright then,” he says, stamping tags on the front covers and handing them over, still giving Itachi a suspicious look.
“Thank you very much,” Itachi says while he puts the books and binders into his bag, dripping with enough politeness to be sarcastic.
A loud crash keeps the sarcasm from really sinking in, though.
“Oh no-”
Just as Itachi suspected, he finds Sasuke and Naruto buried under a pile of comics, the bookshelf toppled and leaning against the library wall.
“Oh what did you do?!”
Naruto’s head pops up out of the pile, one of the manga sitting open on top of his head.
“We wanted one of the ones off the top shelf ttebayo,” he explains. “So I got on his shoulders cause he’s bigger than me, ‘n it didn’t work.”
“I can see that.”
On the outside, Itachi appears as stoic as ever. Internally, it takes all his willpower not to double over laughing. Even more so when a couple bewildered library attendants arrive at the scene to help pick up. He and the younger boys help as best they can, then go to check out so they don’t have to feel the librarian’s eyes drilling holes in his and Naruto’s skulls.
He ushers the pair out of the library as soon as they’re checked out, before he gets on that man for daring to give such a look to Kushina’s son.
(if she’d been there, she would’ve strangled him. And probably scared off his daughter as well.)
The air outside is just on the verge of being cold, sunset casting Konoha in a brilliant gold glow.
He’s so lost in thought that he only notices they have company when a familiar voice starts scolding.
“Hey!! Lemme go already!!”
“There you are! Did you think you were gonna get away with that mess?!”
“Hey lemme go-ttebayo!”
Out of breath and face flushed, Iruka looks like he’s absolutely done with everything at the moment. Itachi stands back and watches, trying to get a handle on what’s going on.
“Did you really think you could get away with that?! You’ve ruined the entire mountainside!”
Iruka jabs his finger in the direction of the defaced mountain, absolutely livid.
“How many times are we gonna have to chase you down before you stop graffiting the entire village?!”
Sasuke breaks free of Itachi’s grip, piping up out of the blue.
“He wasn’t graffiting anything!”
(it’s a lie of course. But Sasuke sure does sound convincing.)
Iruka abruptly lets Sasuke go, brow scrunched up in puzzlement.
“Come again?” he asks, genuine surprise coloring his voice.
“Naruto was at the library with us! See?”
Sasuke waves one of his manga in the air. Itachi decides it’s as good a time as any to chime in.
“Naruto was with me and Sasuke at the library all afternoon,” Itachi confirms, to Iruka’s increasing confusion. “If you’d like to ask the staff there, you’ll find out they were far too busy wreaking havoc over there to be causing any problems out here.”
“...Naruto at the library?”
The surprise in Iruka’s voice is more pleasant now.
Itachi nods.
“Huh. well I’ll be damned.”
Iruka even laughs a bit now, if only in befuddlement. He glances at the mountain again, then back at Naruto.
“...Well then who-”
“I wish I could tell you, Iruka-senpai. I can only tell you who it wasn’t.”
Itachi shrugs, surprising himself more with how naturally lying is becoming to him.
Iruka stands silent, still disbelieving what they’re telling him.
“Everyone who saw it said it was him-”
“-Of course they would. I’ve noticed he gets blamed for a lot of things around here.”
Iruka deflates even more at the blunt statement.
“...I suppose you’re right. I guess I’ll have to see if it’s any of my other students.”
Itachi nods again.
“I still want to see Naruto home though,” Iruka says. “Just to be sure he stays out of trouble.”
“Hey! I’m not getting into trouble!”
The boy whips his head back and forth between Iruka and Itachi.
Itachi nudges him forward.
“Niisan and I have to get home for dinner anyway,” Sasuke says, pointing at the huge village clock that reads ten minutes to seven. “Mom’s gonna be upset if we’re not.”
He offers Naruto one last conspiratorial grin. Naruto returns it, suppressing a fit of giggles.
“See you at school!” he says, blue eyes lit up with mischievous glee at what he’s just gotten away with.
“Yeah, tomorrow!” Sasuke promises.
“Alright then,” Itachi says, keeping his poker face impeccable. “We really do need to get home.”
“You too, Naruto,” Iruka says, taking hold of the handle of Naruto’s bookbag to guide him along. “You need a bath, too- when was the last time you-”
Naruto bickers back at him, but Itachi doesn’t hear as they go on opposite paths.
“Niisan, was that okay to do?” Sasuke asks. “Lying to Iruka-sensei like that?”
Itachi folds his arms, taking a second to mull it over.
“Maybe. Maybe not. It’s hard to tell when it’s right to lie and when it’s not.”
Sasuke looks around the streets, not really reassured.
“Mom would kill us if she knew.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” Itachi replies.
“Eh? What do you mean?”
They’re in sight of their house now. Itachi flicks Sasuke on the forehead, eliciting an annoyed grunt.
“I’ll tell you some other time, Sasuke.”