Senju Destinies

Tobirama was in his lab, his safe space.  The Uchiha girl…Kaida…his soulmate…she was in the medic building at the other end of the compound.  In a minimally conscious state.  Because of him.

He stalked around the room again.  He hadn’t gone to see her at all over the months she had been here, hadn’t even gotten close to that side of the compound.  Her brothers blamed him for her being in that condition, but he couldn’t really complain since it was his fault.

Then he felt something he’d almost given up hope of feeling again.  Chakra like a warm summer rain brushed his skin and he went stiff.  Then he reached for the Flying Raijin seal on his brother.

Hashirama yelped when Tobirama appeared out of nowhere, but he only grabbed his brother’s arm and growled “She’s awake.”  He felt another wave of her chakra and reached for the seal he had placed outside the medic building before they decided it would be best for her to stay in the Senju compound close to Hashirama.

In the next blink they were outside the building and he felt another pulse.

“What?  How do you know?”

“Chakra pulses.  They’ve started.”  Hashirama went in first, Tobirama stayed outside.  He didn’t want to see her, couldn’t bear to see her.

“Tobirama!  Get in here!”  What could he possibly want?  Tobirama wasn’t a healer, he left that to his brother!  No, Tobirama was a killer, and the reason the only innocent Uchiha had almost died.  No, scratch that.  She had died.  Twice.

His fault.

Tobirama dragged himself through the door, pointedly not looking at her.  “What.”

“I need you to read her pulses for me.”  Hashirama turned his attention to Kaida, Tobirama kept his attention on the wall behind his brother.  “Kaida, if you can hear me I want you to pulse your chakra once for yes and twice for no.  Can you do that for me?”

He felt her chakra sweep him once.  He drifted forward without really noticing.

“She said yes,” he spoke so softly he almost didn’t realize he’d spoken at all.  His attention was still on the wall though.  He couldn’t look at her.

“Does anything hurt?”

Tobirama wanted to roll his eyes.  She’d taken a sword to the chest, surely something hurt.  He felt two slow pulses.

“No.”  That was a surprise to him.

“That’s good.  Is Madara bothering you?”  He did roll his eyes then.  He was her twin, surely she wouldn’t be bothered by-

Oh.  Her chakra pulse was so strong he nearly rocked backwards from the force of it hitting his senses.

“Ahem.  I’m going to take that one as a yes.  It was stronger than any pulse I’ve felt yet.”  And it was.  He almost looked at her, to find the emotion in her eyes, but forced himself to stare at the wall.  He couldn’t look at her.

“Shit.  Kaida, I’m sorry! You’ve just been asleep for so long I didn’t think you would be awake yet!”  So that’s what was annoying her.  His pessimism.  Tobirama couldn’t really blame her.  Her chakra stayed passive and he looked to his brother with a raised eyebrow.

“Did you hear him Kaida?  Are you still awake?”  Hashirama seemed a little concerned that she’d stopped communicating.

He felt a pulse and it brought a chuckle out in spite of himself.  He had a feeling he knew what was going on.

“I believe you’re getting the silent treatment, Madara.”  When he felt another chakra pulse he chuckled again, louder this time and the three other men looked at him strangely.

“Definitely the silent treatment.”  He forced his gaze to stay on the wall, no matter how badly he wanted to look at her.

Izuna snickered.  “Sounds about right.”

Madara’s growl made Tobirama roll his eyes again.  “I’m not leaving.”  Considering no one had actually asked him to leave, that seemed a little obvious.

“Kaida, do you remember what happened?”

Tobirama’s stomach dropped.  Did she remember him trying to kill her brother?  Did she remember him nearly killing her instead?  His right hand drifted up to press his soul words through his shirt.  Would she still forgive him?  Two pulses and momentary relief washed through him.  “She doesn’t.”  His whisper was quiet, but it still carried in the silence of the room.

Hashirama gave an interested hum.  “You were injured in our last battle.”

There was a pause then, probably her trying to remember how she of all people had been injured.

Three pulses rocked him.  Three?  That wasn’t a code…

“I think she’s trying to ask something.”

One pulse.  He kept his gaze straight ahead and nodded toward his brother, carefully not thinking about how well he could understand her even without words.

“Do you want to ask how?”  Well that would probably be the most basic question she had.  One pulse.  “Yes.”

“Mm.  You intentionally stepped in front of an attack meant for your brother.  It would have been fatal if I hadn’t been there to heal you.  It very nearly was anyway.”

Tobirama closed his eyes.  That was…the bare minimum of what had happened.  When she found out the whole story would she still forgive him?  Even if she did he knew he wouldn’t deserve it.  He had tried to kill her little brother and nearly killed her instead.

“You’re safe here, Kaida, but I want you to get some more rest okay?  When you wake back up we’ll see how you’re doing.”

Tobirama turned and started walking to the door.  He couldn’t be there any longer.  If he stayed he might look at her, and that was something he couldn’t let himself do.  He had put her there, he didn’t deserve to look at her.

He felt her chakra pulse one more time and smirked.  She seemed to be the type that always had to have the last word.  How well they would have gotten along.

Madara grabbed his shoulder just as he made it outside.

“What, Madara.”

“She forgave you, Tobirama.  I may not like you, but you are her soulmate.  Do not turn your back on her or she will break more than she already has.”

“She is like that because of me.  Why would you want me anywhere near her?”

“Because unlike you, I know why she was crying that night at the Naka.”

Tobirama blinked.  The night he’d seen her soul words months ago?  The only time he’d ever seen her use her Sharingan?  His curiosity was piqued.

“Do you also know why she used her Sharingan even though I told her I wouldn’t attack her?”

Madara nodded.  “I know many things about my twin.  Why she chooses to use her Sharingan the way she does is something that you will learn from her in time.”

“Then why was she crying.”  Tobirama braced himself to hear that it was because of something he had done.

“When she used her Sharingan to remember, you reacted.  She took that to mean that you thought of her as nothing more than another Uchiha.  She took it as proof that she could never be with you because of your hatred for our clan.”

“To remember?  Nothing-…  Never-”  Tobirama couldn’t decide which part was more preposterous.

The idea that he could think of her as just another Uchiha, or that she thought her clan would’ve been able to keep them apart had he known she was his before he ruined everything.

“I…”  Tobirama didn’t know what he could possibly say to that.  “Remember what?  What did she want to remember?”

“You.  She said you were too beautiful not to remember forever.”

That was too much.  He reached for the Raijin seal in his lab and pulled hard.

Two days later he felt her chakra pulse, stronger this time.  He reached his net out to her, her chakra seemed…happy?  What?  He pulled on his brother’s seal.

Hashirama yelped again and Tobirama rolled his eyes.  “You should really get used to this, Anija.  She’s awake.”  Without waiting for a response he grabbed his brothers arm and pulled them to the seal on the medic building.

Hashirama went in and Tobirama followed this time without being told, though he stayed across the room.  He found that same spot on the wall he had stared at the last time he was in here and focused on it.

With what Madara had told him the last time he was here, he believed even more that he didn’t deserve to look at her.

“She’s awake?”

“Yeah, just now.  How’d you know?”  Izuna’s question almost made him snort.

“Tobirama felt a chakra pulse.”

“Oh.”  Yeah ‘Oh’.  Silly Uchiha.

A pitiful sound came from her bed and his eyebrows pulled together.  What was wrong with her?

“What’s wrong with her?”  Well.  To think he and Madara would be on the same page about something.

“Kaida, can you open your eyes?”

When her chakra pulsed once he was more confused.  If she could then why wouldn’t she?  “She pulsed her chakra for yes.”

“Will you open them for me so you can get a look at your surroundings?  Maybe see your brothers?”  Hashirama’s tone mirrored his own worry.  Which only spiked when he felt two pulses.

He walked forward, needing to be closer but still not looking at her.

“No.”

“Do you not want to see your brothers?”  Well that was probably one of the silliest questions his brother had ever asked.  This opinion was only reinforced when he felt two strong pulses from her and her chakra stayed infused.

“I don’t think that’s it, Anija.”  No, it was something else.  She could do it, but for some reason she didn’t want to.  It was him, it had to be.  She didn’t want to see him.  That was the explanation.  Before he could leave the lights in the room snapped off and his brother let out a startled squawk.

“Madara what’s the big idea?”

“You idiot we need those on!”  Tobirama growled, what reason could Madara have possibly had for turning out the lights?  Tobirama needed to leave.  He turned around and took three steps toward the door before Madara spoke to his sister.

“The lights are off my twin, it’s safe.”  What?  Lights?  Safe?  Tobirama froze.

He felt a pulse of Kaida’s chakra wash over him.

“That was apparently the issue,” Tobirama murmured, completely surprised.  Why had the lights mattered?

Madara grunted and he turned to find the man facing him.

“My twin has always preferred nighttime and darkness.”  She did?  He fought to keep his eyes on Madara and off the man’s twin.  “After her eyes being closed for so long I figured the lights in this room would be like looking into the sun for her.”

When she pulsed her chakra again Tobirama let out a breath he hadn’t even known he’d held.

“She agreed with you.”

He could see movement in his peripheral vision and his eyes followed it before he could stop them.  The minute he met her eyes he realized he had made a huge mistake.

Her onyx eyes widened and her breath left her in a rush.  Oh no.  This was it.  She was going to remember that he tried to kill her little brother and she was going to hate him.

She reached for him and he took a step back.  She was going to try to kill him, it was the only logical reaction.

She pulsed her chakra twice and reached for him again.  This time when he tried to step back she let loose the most pitiful whine he’d ever heard.  It broke his heart all over again and he froze in his tracks.

If she wanted to kill him, so be it.  It would be better to never be the cause of that heart wrenching sound again.  When Madara grabbed him to drag him to her he didn’t fight it.  Didn’t want to fight it.  She had disarmed him completely without saying a thing.

When he was next to her she pointed at him, then at her left forearm where her words were.  He was confused.  Didn’t she remember she had said his words?  He knew they were soulmates.  That’s why he didn’t deserve to look at her!

“Yes, I know.  You’ve already said mine.”  When she rolled her eyes…were those butterflies in his stomach?  She pointed again.

“I think she wants to see them.”  Madara’s voice cut in and she pulsed her chakra once.  Why the hell would she want to see words she probably regretted.  Hell, maybe she couldn’t even remember saying them?  He sighed.

He reached down and lifted the left edge of his shirt just far enough for her to see the powder blue words printed there in her beautiful flowing handwriting.

The second they came into view her eyes were glued to them and her lips twitched like she was trying to smile.  Why would she smile?  She slowly reached out and pressed her fingers against the words and his heart rate kicked up a notch.

Then she pulsed her chakra once for yes and he covered the words on her forearm with the hand that wasn’t holding his shirt up.  Could they just stay there in that moment forever?  Apparently not.

“Get a room!”  Izuna’s voice was like cold water to the heat under his skin.  Damn, how had he let himself get this close?  He didn’t deserve this!  Didn’t deserve her!  She snapped her eyes to her little brother with a glare that he’d never seen on her face before.  One that promised pain.  He fought back a smile.

Hashirama apparently found the whole display rather amusing because he chuckled.  “Technically for now this is her room.”

She pulsed her chakra once again and this time he let himself smirk, just for a moment because no one was looking at him.

“She agreed.”  Why did that make him happy?

Madara sighed.  “Let’s give her a minute with him.  She’s had almost eight years of not being able to talk to her soulmate.”  Yes.  They all needed to leave.  He needed to leave, but apparently that wasn’t happening.  Even if he had tried, his body probably wouldn’t have listened to him.

Kaida pulsed her chakra again and he let himself soak in the feeling of her chakra washing over him again.  He felt like a drowning man finally coming up for air.

Desperate for more.

He took a seat next to the bed and took her hand that had been touching the words on his skin with the one that had been holding his shirt up.

“I assume you were trying to remind me that you forgive me?”

When she nodded he felt relief and disappointment at the same time.  She didn’t regret her words.  She didn’t, but she should have.

“I don’t deserve your forgiveness.”

Her eyes narrowed and he saw a flicker of annoyance.  She pulsed her chakra twice.  Why did that make him feel so bad?  It was the truth!

She pointed toward his words again and pulsed her chakra with a confident nod.  It seemed he had her forgiveness whether he felt he deserved it or not.  His heart beat with excitement.  Well, if she was that set on forgiving him he’d just have to make sure she would never regret it.

He sighed.

“You’re going to be a handful, I can see it now.  Too stubborn for your own good.”

Her lips curled in a heart stopping smile.  The first real smile she’d had since she woke up.  She pulsed her chakra once, it seemed she agreed with that assessment.

He let himself smirk at her.

“I hope you won’t regret this.”