Chapter 7
Tobirama was sitting in his lab. He had finally managed to get some decent sleep the night before, after leaving Kaida to rest. He still didn’t need much sleep to function properly, but for the first time in five months what sleep he did get was deep and peaceful.
It seemed having her forgiveness, whether or not he thought he deserved it, eased his conscience enough to sleep again. That didn’t mean he didn’t still feel guilty though. When he thought about the way her voice broke and cracked instead of sounding like her normally clear musical voice the day before, it made his heart clench. When he remembered how frail she looked in that medical bed his stomach turned.
No, his guilt was not erased. Not by a long shot, but she had eased it enough for him to finally sleep. Which was a step in the right direction.
He had woken just before dawn and come to his lab to think, to try to come up with more ways to make it all up to her. He wouldn’t stop trying to be worthy of her forgiveness. The problem was, he didn’t know much about her. He didn’t know what foods she liked or what flowers she preferred.
He only knew what little they had always known. She was the twin of the Uchiha clan head, her father had sent her to die, and she refused to injure people. The only new piece of information they had gotten in the five months she had been here was her name. He didn’t even know why she refused to injure people. Surely one, if not both, of her brothers knew the answer to that, but thus far they had been tight lipped about anything regarding their sister.
Hashirama had tried asking Madara why Kaida was so averse to hurting people more than once, yet the Uchiha only rolled his eyes and told Hashirama he’d have to ask her when she woke if he wanted to know that badly. Izuna wouldn’t even say that much. He would only scoff and go back to whatever he had been doing.
He felt her chakra wash over him then and he pulled on his brother’s seal. Instantaneously he was at his brother’s side.
“Good to see you doing some paperwork for once, Anija.” He quipped as he felt her chakra again.
Hashirama pouted up at him and he laid a hand on his brothers shoulder.
“She’s awake again.” He pulled them to the seal outside her room before Hashirama could respond.
“You really need to give me more warning than that, Tobes,” Hashirama complained.
“Don’t call me that.” He felt her chakra again and Hashirama walked through the door. He stayed outside, not wanting to assume she wanted him there, as his brother greeted her.
“Good morning, Kaida!” Hashirama’s cheerful voice floated out. To Tobirama’s surprise, she responded.
“You know, Tobirama doesn’t have to stay outside. He’s always welcome so long as I have a say.” He felt his eyes widen a little. Her voice! It was a little rougher than it used to be, but she was talking!
He heard his brother echo his own thoughts and as he stepped into the room he heard her chuckle. His heart beat a little faster. Maybe today he could finally have a real conversation with her. Would she want to though?
He smiled a little at the thought of truly talking to her, though uncertainty diminished the smile to just a small twist of his lips, and met her eyes as she glanced at him. The second her eyes met his she broke into a beautiful grin and extended her hand to him.
As he moved to take her hand she looked back to Hashirama with a smirk, “That’s what you get when I wake up an hour and a half before dawn in a bad mood and with nothing to occupy my time. I get shit done.”
She coughed out the last word and began to reach for her glass before pouting at the empty thing. Hashirama chuckled a little and went to refill it.
She had been in a bad mood? What had put her in a bad mood as soon as she woke up? Madara and Izuna had returned to the Uchiha compound to inform the elders that Kaida had regained consciousness, so it wasn’t anything they did. Maybe their absence?
A few more words were exchanged while Tobirama was chasing this train of thought, and before he could stop himself he found himself speaking.
“Why were you in a bad mood?” He saw a flash of shock cross through her eyes and as she took a drink of he water he saw annoyance. He should have kept his mouth shut, it wasn’t his right to question her. She pouted up at him when she pulled the glass away and his heart melted. She could never ever know how effective that pout was on him, otherwise she’d always get her way.
“I was thinking about how weak I am from being in bed for five months and how much work I’m going to have to do to get back to where I was before.” He couldn’t believe how good it felt to hear her voice again, even as rough as it was. “It takes a force of will just to send my chakra pulses the mile between this room and wherever it is that you spend all your time.”
He guessed it was to be expected, chakra was kind of like a muscle. The more one worked with it the more they could use it. Conversely, the longer one went without using it the harder it would be to use it for extended periods of time or, apparently in the case of sensory techniques, extended ranges.
He smirked in spite of himself.
“You mean for once in our lives my sensing is better than yours?”
She growled, and he would have thought she was angry if it wasn’t for the little smile she had.
“Don’t get used to it, Tobi.” His smirk melted into a little scowl, he hated nicknames. He carefully didn’t acknowledge the small fact that he might have liked it when it came from her.
She took a drink and looked at his brother.
“So, Lord Senju, when can I get up and start training?” Lord Senju? He almost laughed. One second she’s calling him Tobi, the next second she’s giving his brother the highest level of respect. She must really want to train.
“Well, your chest has healed up completely in the five months that you’ve been here. So long as you start out slow you should be fine with working to get your strength back now. Start out by getting back to the point that you can walk entirely without assistance for as long as possible.” She looked ready to say something when Hashirama continued, “But, and I cannot stress this enough: do. Not. Push yourself. If you start to get tired, take a break. Our village will not be built in a day, neither will your recovery. We are not at war, you should be in no rush.”
Considering the amount of grumbling she did before Hashirama wrangled a grudging agreement from her, she didn't like the idea of not pushing herself. Then she turned her sights on him.
“I want to go see Touka. Will you help me get there? She’s not far.”
He stretched his net out and saw she was right, Touka was in the training ground closest to the medical building. It would still be a long walk for her first time out of bed though, and he looked at his brother. She tugged on his hand to pull his attention back to her and when he looked he could see the frustration in her eyes.
“I’ve been in this room for five months and while I may have only been awake for three days of it, I’m already sick of this place.” Part of him hoped Hashirama would tell her to get a little more strength up before trying to go anywhere outside of the medical building, but when Hashirama sighed he knew he wouldn’t get that lucky.
“I have a feeling if someone doesn’t go with her she’ll just try to go by herself, and while I doubt she would get lost or be attacked by any of our clan members it would probably ease her brother’s minds to know she was not alone on her first trek into the compound.”
Hashirama was right about at least one thing, no Senju in their right mind would attack her. She was The Uchiha. The one who had spared the lives of almost everyone in the compound at least once through the course of the last seven and a half years. On top of that, most of the compound knew she was Tobirama’s soulmate by now.
“He’s not wrong.” Tobirama frowned. He wasn’t sure he liked the way she didn’t specify what Hashirama wasn’t wrong about.
“About which part?” His voice was careful, and she flashed him a cheeky smile.
“Take your pick.” Tobirama sighed. Of course. She would be stubborn enough to try to make it that far on her own. And if Touka found out that she asked Tobirama to help her and he said no, even in an attempt to get her to get a little more strength up before trying to go that far, there would be hell to pay.
“Such a handful,” he mumbled under his breath, then he nodded and grumbled “Fine, I’m sure Touka will be happy to see you anyway.”
She squeezed his hand and scooted to slide her legs off the edge of the bed. She looked down at her loose fitting shirt and baggy pants with wide eyes.
“Did my brothers happen to bring any other clothes for me? And oh my dear sweet Kami I need a shower. Crapbaskets. Um, okay shower first, Touka second. I will not go into the Senju compound at Senju Tobirama’s side looking and smelling like this.”
Tobirama shared a look with his brother. She cared what the Senju thought of her? What she looked like next to him? Hashirama started laughing.
“Yes Kaida, your clothes are right over here and there’s a shower through that door to your left.” Hashirama answered her with a spark of mischief in his eyes. Tobirama dreaded that look. His brother started moving toward the door with a bright smile and Tobirama caught onto his plan just before he walked out the door. His eyes widened in an attempt to keep Hashirama there, but it did no good. The door swung shut just as Hashirama called back, “Tobirama will be right out here if you need anything!”
Tobirama stared at the floor trying to force his blush to go away. Damn Hashirama and his meddling. He could feel Kaida’s eyes on him.
“I’ll be fine, Tobi. I’ll sit on the shower floor so I won’t get too tired or risk falling. You won’t have to help me with anything beyond walking in there.” Did she think he didn’t want to have to help her? He didn’t mind helping her, it was that if she did need his help…she would be naked. What was that word she said before? Crapbaskets? Yeah. He felt like that was kind of accurate to his situation at the moment.
“Don’t call me that,” he found himself grumbling quietly. Normally he wouldn’t have any problem telling someone not to call him something. He had to with Touka and Hashirama all the time, not that they ever listened. He lifted his gaze off the floor to look at her.
“Don’t be stubborn. If you need help, you need help. Call for me.” He came forward and took her arm to help her to the bathroom. She was so light and felt so delicate, he was afraid he might hurt her. As she leaned against the wall in the bathroom he turned to start the water for the shower.
“I’m not too picky about the temperature, so long as its warm.” Her voice came from lower than it should have and he turned to find her sitting on the floor. She looked like she was trying not to pant and he felt concern wash over him. If just walking from the bed to the shower with his help was enough to tire her out, how was she going to make it all the way to where Touka was?
She waved a hand in the air as if to dispel his thoughts. “If being out of breath is enough to stop me I’ll be bed-bound for the rest of my life, Tobirama. That wound didn’t end my life; I’ll be damned if it ends my freedom.”
He turned back to the shower so she wouldn’t see his grimace. How could she be so casual about it? She almost hadn’t survived, and yet here she was talking like it was just another every day wound!
“Tobirama.” Her voice was soft, but commanding. She wanted him to look at her. He hummed, hoping it would be enough response to satisfy her. It wasn’t.
“Tobirama, come here.” He turned and she reached out a hand. He lifted her to her feet and when she was standing she grasped his chin with her hand and made him look at her. She was just barely shorter than him. Short enough that she had to look up and he had to look down, but tall enough that if he wanted to he could kiss her without bending over.
Wait.
Kiss her? He couldn’t do that!
She was still so weak! She probably didn’t want to kiss him anyway! “She said you were too beautiful not to remember forever.” Madara’s words played back in his mind like an argument against himself. She started talking and he set aside his internal debate.
“I am here, I am alive, and most importantly; I forgive you, Senju Tobirama. Don’t ever forget that.” Her free had brushed over his soul words and a tingle rushed through his body. She moved her hand from his chin to his cheek and continued.
“When my father ordered me to protect my brothers that day after we met at the Naka, I knew he gave that order in the hope that I would die. I also knew that he would most likely get that outcome someday. Yet, even at ten years old, even without knowing who would eventually give him the outcome he desired or when it would happen, I forgave whoever that person would be.”
That may have been, his brain told him cruelly, but she didn’t know it would be her own soulmate. That had to have changed things.
“To know that it was you who nearly killed me doesn’t make my decision that day any less valid, nor does it make me regret forgiving you. In fact, if I have to I will spend every day for the rest of my blessed life reminding you that I forgive you.”
He raised his hand to trap hers against his face, relishing in the warmth of her skin against his. She was so…pure. So good. She deserved so much more than being his soulmate.
“I don’t know how you can call this a blessed life, having a soulmate who nearly ended it. Spending seven and a half years knowing who I was to you and thinking I would reject you for being an Uchiha, only to have me drive a sword through you in an attempt to kill your little brother.” He heard the bitterness in his own voice, but he couldn’t stop the words. He continued, barely more than a whisper this time, “Forgiving me for killing you is one thing, but I tried to kill Izuna. How could you forgive that?”
When she looked down he thought maybe, maybe he had finally managed to make her see reason. That he didn’t deserve to be forgiven. She was still stroking the words on his ribs, though he wasn’t sure she realized it, when she spoke softly.
“Did you know that Madara and I were not the only twins born to the Uchiha Clan head?” She was still staring at the floor but he could feel the sadness radiating from her.
When she looked up and offered him a sad smile he knew that whatever story she was about to tell him would cause her far more emotional pain to remember than he ever wanted her to feel. He saw the pain hidden in her eyes, waiting to be let out.
“Twin boys. A year younger than Izuna. Though they were identical, not fraternal.” When she blinked back tears he slipped his free arm around her waist and lowered her to the ground. If she was set on remembering this pain, he wouldn’t make her remember it while trying to stand.
“It was two and a half months before the Naka River. Madara and Izuna took them out to battle. Their third. They had caused a few injuries, but hadn’t actually killed anyone yet.” She cleared her throat and her eyes slid closed. He wasn’t sure she knew, but the expressionless face the Uchiha were so good at had slid into place as well. He had no way to know what she was feeling as she told her story now.
“I was waiting for them to come home, excited to see them. Their smiles were the light of my world and I dreaded the day the innocent happiness faded from them after they made their first kill.” Her hand clenched into a fist, scrunching his shirt up, and she sounded like she was forcing her words out as she continued.
“I felt Madara and Izuna’s chakra near the gates and went to meet them, only instead of the smiling faces of my baby brothers, or the unsettling mask we Uchiha are famous for…I was met with two bodies covered in white.” Tobirama stopped breathing. He knew the story would most likely end this way, the only children of the previous clan head he knew of were her, her twin, and Izuna. His hand tightened around hers on his cheek as he noticed tears sliding down her face.
Then she took a deep breath through her nose and opened her eyes. He had once thought it would be a cold day in hell before he saw an Uchiha cry, let alone wanted to stop their tears. Yet, here he was with an Uchiha crying in his arms and all he wanted was to take her pain away.
“Yet as much as their deaths pain me, I do not hold them against your clan. Much like Hashirama does not hold the deaths of your little brothers against the Uchiha. Which, by the way, I am very sorry I wasn’t there to try to prevent.”
Her words shocked him. All the pain she was obviously in over the deaths of her baby brothers, all the pain she pulled up just to tell him this story, and she didn’t blame the Senju? She didn’t hate them? She was even apologizing that she couldn’t save his brothers? He huffed his breath out in a quiet, sad laugh and tightened his hand around hers again.
“You just told me something so painful, and yet you immediately offer apologies for my loss and voice regret about not being able to prevent it? You are a mystery, Uchiha Kaida.” Then she surprised him further. She let out a soft laugh.
“Oh yeah, you finally know my name. I guess you can finally stop calling me ‘Uchiha Girl’.” That was what she chose to respond to? That he knew her name now? The flat look he gave her in response made her laugh a little louder.
“Oh, come on Tobi, it’s not like we tried to keep you from learning my name. You just only ever bothered to ask me, and I sure wasn’t going to have my first words to my soulmate be my name.” It annoyed him that he couldn’t say she was wrong. Also, there was that damn nickname again. He huffed and stood up with her.
“Come on, Uchiha Girl.” Her responding pout was just cute enough that he smirked playfully down at her as he continued talking. “ Shower before you lose the hot water. Call for me if you need help.” She nodded and he moved away to the door to leave her alone, but her voice made him pause with the door still halfway open.
“It's a blessed life because you didn't end it. I'm still alive and you haven't rejected me for my clan name. That's all I will ever ask for and it is a blessing.” She said the words so softly that he almost hadn’t heard them, but he did. He closed the door without saying anything, he wasn’t sure what he could say to that. What he should say to that. He found the seal he had put on Touka and pulled on it.
“SHIT, Tobes you scared me!” Touka yelped when he appeared next to her.
“Don’t call me that. You should have a visitor coming to this training ground in the next hour or so. Please make sure you’re here or I’ll have to Flying Raijin you here.”
“Oh? Who’s this mystery visitor? Why do I have to meet them here?” Touka sounded uninterested, but Tobirama didn’t want to be gone from Kaida’s room for too long in case she did need him.
“You’ll find out when she gets here. I have to go, Touka.” He said quickly, and pulled on the seal outside Kaida’s room. He let himself back in and walked over to the bag of clothes Madara had brought here for when Kaida woke up. The silly girl had left it out here. He sat down in the chair next to her bed and waited for her to call for him.