Waiting for You
Deep down within her, she pictured connecting her fist against Sasuke’s jaw, but to go through with it might sever the smallest chance of having something resembling a friendship.
Sasuke and her weren’t exactly friends, they more or less shared childhood moments, but nothing more.
She always wondered why it was so impossible to have what Naruto and Sasuke shared.
Sakura made her way up the spiral stairs outside the tower, she was thankful that it served as a quick getaway to leave undetected for every presiding Hokage.
All the same she way glad of its existence because she had time to herself.
For some unknown reason Sakura could hear an echoing voice awakening from its slumber.
“Forehead, just forget about him even Sai shows more enthusiasm to become a better person. He’s always trying his best.”
Sakura swallowed the emptiness in her mouth as she found herself face to face with the office door. Just on the other side, is Sasuke. She stared at the broken paint lining and sprouting like small veins. Someone should change this door. How old was it? It should at least be painted with new color.
Her small, cold hand inched towards the door knob. It rested there. Strange how she couldn’t feel her hand. She knew the surface was sweaty, but at the same time she couldn’t feel it. Sakura couldn’t feel herself. There was only the quietness of the hall, yet her being felt like it was ready to bounce into the air into a far away place.
“This is it,” she thought as she carefully bit the skin of her lips. Sakura was about to twist the handle when it opened, she widened her stance as if preparing to face an enemy, and pressed her lips thinly together.
A single eye stared back at her. Long hair covered a large part of his face.
Like a mask...like Kakashi.
She stared at Sasuke like if she was seeing him for the very first time in her life. He was like a ghost.
Immediately she felt the pressing need to ask him questions because she had no idea if he was pleased to be back.
He was unreadable. Sakura felt out of place even though she’s been in this same building countless times longer than him.
All Sakura was able to do was open and closed her mouth as she was trying to catch a question among the million in her mind to ask him.
“Sakura,” he said.
There was a nod or maybe it was her imagination.
His clothes hadn’t changed. He looked calm, but the air about him was silently intimidating. Like he was on the move even when he was perfectly still.
“Sasuke-Kun,” Sakura drawled out slowly. That was done out of habit, but was else could she say?
Maybe a quick, hello. You idiot, Inner Sakura shook her head and blew out a tired puff of air.
“Welcome back,” she gathered herself and stood aside to let him through.
“Sakura chan! We are heading to Ichiraku’s, Wanna come?” Naruto face appeared so suddenly that Sakura almost stared at him the same way she had with Sasuke.
His broad smile illuminated the room. A wave of sadness fell over her and left just as fast. Naruto was his old self again.
“Yeah, like old times,” She said throwing a playful fist up in the air.
“Nah, Kakashi-Sensei isn’t here. Let’s go get ‘im,” He brought his arms up and crossed them behind his head.
“Actually, I think he’s busy. I saw him earlier today and he said he needed to get some things done,” Sakura rambled.
Naruto pouted and grumbled at not having all of team 7 together. He shrugged and widened his smile again.
“Later then,” He nodded. His sky blue eyes sparkled mischievously and smirked as he took a glance at Sasuke. No doubt was he thinking of sparring against Sasuke. Or perhaps, re-doing the bell test against him before night fell on them.
She remembered how the older man seemed to need to be left alone. And how he wasn’t exactly excited about Sasuke’s recent arrival.
Sakura walked behind them. She let a smile play freely on her face. It wasn’t difficult to see herself and them as 12 year olds again. She watched their backs. They were almost the same height, except Naruto was a bit taller and wider from the shoulders.
Her thoughts wandered back to a weary looking Iruka. It seemed out of place to not see his kind face. Iruka was always calm and high spirited every time she saw him.
A faint thud to her heart made her worry. What if Iruka were to see Naruto smiling as his usual self again and knowing in full certainty that the reason was Sasuke?
She couldn’t help but throw a glare at Naruto’s back.
Naruto sensed this and stopped midtrack like a cold bucket of water had been poured over him.
Sakura quickly looked elsewhere, acting as if she hadn’t wished to slap the back of Naruto’s head.
“Iruka-Sensei seemed different today. I’ve never seen him so different before,” her voice sounded like a mother speaking to a toddler who had just drawn a cute picture on a wall and trying to redirect their efforts on paper.
She couldn’t see Naruto’s expression, but she hoped her voice echoed in his head for the rest of the day. Sakura knew it wasn’t her business, but she didn’t care. Right now she had this persisting soft spot for Iruka. She needed to protect him.
She bit the inside of her cheek and tried not to smile knowingly in case Naruto turned to look at her for a trace of evidence that she knew about them. But he didn’t.
Iruka was a grown man, but she has learned that shinobi, especially men (not all of them, but a pretty big number), struggled with their emotions. They refused to share them and even acknowledge them.
Iruka wasn’t perfect. He was approachable, like an ideal teacher, but even he struggled in the love department.
Oh, how easy would life be if men just confessed their feelings, plain and simple, like girls?
Or, were they like girls, too? Pushing things down due to irritating insecurities and fears? Waiting for the other to lay open their feelings honestly in order for them to gush out their relief?
Yup, she could see Iruka fumbling shyly and stealing hidden glances in Naruto’s direction. He’s like a Hinata. How cute. She thought. A roll of giggles tickled inside her stomach, almost bending her forward, but she dismissed it with a loud, happy sigh.
They ordered their ramen bowls and waited. She grew pretty amazed how she didn't waste a second to spring to hold Sasuke’s arm like she normally would have or jumping for the chance to know when he was free to spend time together.
She has changed. kind of. It was something and something was better than nothing.
Sakura stood up slowly with her hands resting on the edge of the table. She brought herself to cancel her order. This earned her an arched eyebrow from Naruto and a discerning eye from Sasuke.
“Oh, I need to head back to Tsunade’s. I forgot something,” She lazily waved them goodbye and left, not bothering to explain herself or allow Naruto to inquire further.
She walked straight to the tower and turned once she placed a good enough distance between the ramen shop and her.
She did need to speak to her master about the other night. But, it's not like she was in a rush.
Instead she headed to Kakashi’s place.
Once outside his door, she waited. Still like the cloudless sky above. Why was she here? He probably needed to be on his own. Sakura turned her small back to the door and crossed her arms above her chest. She deliberated. If she were to knock what would she say?
Just as the thought passed her mind the door opened wide. She froze, wide eyed, and imagine a large hand, like Gaara’s sand which could take any form, wrapping itself around her waist. Stilling her in place.
“I was waiting for you,” a smooth, lazy chuckle traveled to her ears.
“I don’t know why I’m here. My legs, I-I wanted to be here, I guess,” her mind was blank. She didn’t feel as she sounded. She tried to pinpoint exactly what she was feeling, but she was blank. She was so uncomplicated at the moment and she found herself strangely attracted to the simplicity of it. She ought to be red from her face, like a melting popsicle. But she wasn’t. Her being was tranquil.
“Come inside. Food’s ready,” He said it like he has said it a thousand times. To her.
She moved passed him. As she did she gave a soundless gasp. Her skin, from head to toe felt like they were on display. Privately for him. Like fresh, icy water was coursing, like drumming fingers, pleasantly up her back.
This didn’t make any sense because she was fully clothed.
It was like an embrace. Her being alone with him in his place. She felt oddly enveloped. Maybe it was the way he nodded at her to follow him to where the food was waiting.
His entire attention was focused only on her. That’s how he made her feel, like they were having their own conversation even when they weren’t near each other and when a single thing wasn't spoken between them.
Was he really waiting for her? Did he know she was going to come over? Or was it a quick save to sound suave?
She aggressively brushed the last thought away. It was exhausting when she doubted him. She wanted to trust him and give herself completely like she once had with Sasuke. Give her energy and trust wholly. If he didn’t, couldn’t, wasn’t capable of returning it just the same then she would move on. He would be another Sasuke and the one next to him would be another Kakashi. Until she found someone for her.
But, for now she wanted to be here. With him.
And, in his own way, Kakashi was giving it his all. In the simplest of actions.
She was patient and ready for him.