On their way
Her body felt heavy and strange. Everything hurt and she didn't want to move a muscle, yet she had rallied and sat up. She figured she shouldn't move too much, had she only awakened from her coma and her gut wound hadn't completely healed yet, but she couldn't lie down any further. Her mind was much too restless for her liking and she had to create clarity in her thoughts. Quickly her eyes roamed over the small camp which she shared with Zabuza and Haku and found the latter sleeping next to her. Slowly Sakura tilted her head to the side, looking at the older boy next to her. ~He looks peaceful in his sleep and has been looking after me for the past week and a half. Unlike.~ An unpleasant feeling spread inside her and Sakura pressed her hand into the fabric of her top near her heart. ~No, no, no. Don't think about them. They left me cold heartedly, not even bothering searching for me. As if a shinobi who leaves his comrades behind is scum. Kakashi-sensei is a liar, but why, why does it hurt so much?~ A tear stole from the corners of her eyes and a deep frustration and anger arose in the young Kunoichi. None of this made sense to her and she felt so terribly abandoned and alone. What should she do now? Go back to Konoha alone? In her current state a stupid operation and who knew if she would be welcome at all when she arrived. After all, her team had returned without her, hadn't even made the effort to find her body. 'They betrayed us.' She heard Inner and Sakura bite her lip painfully at the thought. Yes, her team had betrayed her, cast her out without batting an eyelid. That contradicted everything she had learned in the academy held by Iruka-sensei about teamwork and being a Genin. She had tried her best on this mission not to stand in the way of her team, had risked her life for the mission, and how did they thank her? They didn't even think about bringing her back to her home village - even if it was just a lifeless body! It hurt so much and more tears ran down her face. This pain was worse than any physical pain she had ever felt during the mission or any other time.
She had to get away! She... She needed room to breathe, she had to do something, she couldn't, she wasn't not allowed to... She clumsily freed herself from the cloth that had covered her up, got up and left. Her thoughts circulated, buzzed about, her breathing went jerkily, hectic and her legs gave off under her again and again, but she forced herself forward. Where she didn't know, only that she had to go on. She had two lives on her conscience! She had almost died. Betrayed and abandoned by her team, cared for by her former enemy, and then had this strange dream that made her feel like she had forgotten something important. She was alone, in a foreign place with two Nuke-nin as companions, helplessly at their mercy without protection. Damn it, she was just 12 years old, no, wait 13, right? So much time had passed... Why did she think about her age now? That was completely irrelevant. A root in her path caused Sakura to stumble and lose her balance. With all fours she came up on the floor and something cracked in the young Kunoichi. "Damn!" She didn't care that she was loud, that she was the perfect prey in her present state for anyone who wanted to hurt her. Sakura was done with her nerves, emotionally broken and at her end. She kept hitting the forest floor with her fist as if he could do anything about it. It didn't take the pain away from her nonetheless. With time her blows to the ground became weaker and weaker until they stopped altogether and Sakura dug her sore fingers into the ground. Her head rested on the ground and all she could manage was to cry heartbreakingly.
In this state she was found by Haku. How long Sakura had remained in her position, she didn't know. The careful touch of Haku she just felt at the edge of her consciousness and when she was pulled into a comforting embrace by him, she clawed herself into the fabric of his shirt and sobbed a quiet "why" into his chest over and over again. Obviously, Haku had no answer for the young Haruno, and if she was honest, she didn't expect any from the boy. But his embrace helped, giving her comfort and support, something she needed not to lose herself completely in her dark thoughts. At some point her sobs and tears ebbed, but she refused to let go of Haku and when he stirred, she held him tighter. She couldn't take another loss, not now, not so fast. But luckily he didn't seem to want to leave her. "Come we should return to the camp". She nods timidly, even if she didn't know why she was welcome in the camp at all. Fear overtook her. What if Zabuza wanted to leave her alone now that she was conscious again? What if he would take Haku from her, the only person left who cared about her?! What if… ‘Quiet!' resounded inner's voice in her head. 'Stop worrying about things you can't control. Neither Zabuza nor Haku have left you alone unconscious or not and Haku followed you after you left the camp by yourself. If it comes down to it, you still have me, so stop crying. You are not alone.' Slowly, all her fear arose vanished. It was true, no matter what would come, she still had inner, she would never be completely alone, even though human contact was clearly preferable. However, she already had too much to thank Haku for and she couldn't tie him to herself because she panicked about staying behind alone.
After a few minutes the two arrived silently back at the camp and were expected by an impatient Zabuza. His gaze wandered to Sakura and although his gaze was somewhat contemptuous as he recognized her emotional state, he remained silent about what the young Kunoichi welcomed. "You are late. Eat and then we leave." Had she heard right? Unbelievingly she stared at the former Kirinin who rolled his eyes annoyed as he noticed Sakura's gaze. "I didn't watch your unconscious person for a week and a half just to get rid of you as soon as you regained consciousness, brat. But don't think that you can just travel along, you will contribute your part in this group as soon as you are fit." That wasn't a joke, was it? Still unbelieving, Sakura looked from Zabuza to Haku, who gave her a nod as confirmation. She... she was allowed to stay with them? They didn't push her away? Again she was near tears, but tried to fight them by mustering the sparse breakfast. "Hai, Arigatou, Haku and Zabuza-sa... -sama" she didn't look up again as she focused on her food. It may not have been perfect, but it was a start and it was better than nothing. She would still show them her gratitude for everything they had done for her so far. Not again would she disappoint anyone, not if she owed them so much. But first she had to regain her strength and heal not only physically.
The first days it was more than unusual for Sakura to travel together with Zabuza and Haku. It was a completely different dynamic than with Team 7, a thought that still kept her chest tight. Most of the time they walked silently through the woods at a leisurely pace, mainly because she shouldn't be exhausted with her wound. On the one hand she was grateful for the thoughtfulness, her body needed it's time to heal. Her emotional wounds, on the other hand, were a different matter and the silence didn't really help her to cope with the events, but she didn't want to say anything either, out of fear of annoying Zabuza and Haku with her problems. While Sakura could distract herself with her surroundings during the day or with small lessons from Haku about certain plants and herbs, the nights were the hardest for her. Not only did she see the deaths she had caused over and over again, no, her head brewed all sorts of bullshit in her dreams. Mostly they were about Team 7 and her betrayal, things they threw at her head, unpleasant facts and things she then transferred to her present travel companions.
It was the fourth night when she was torn from her sleep by her nightmares, not trying to fall asleep again. Instead, she sat down by the fading fire and stared inside. "Zabuza-sama?" She started quietly after a while, didn't want to forcibly rip Haku out of his sleep and she guessed that Zabuza, like Kakashi-sensei, was alert despite sleeping position. Without lifting her gaze from the fire and getting an answer from the Kirinin, she continued. "How... how did you deal with the first dead and the first betrayal? I don't know... They are haunting me and the betrayal is... it hurts so much and leaves such fear and anger in me I fear to crumble under it. Gomen, when I'm talking crazy stuff, I just don't know what to do. I... I don't want to crack from it." She had had enough of being weak, she didn't want to be controlled by her fear of backsliding and giving her negative thoughts the satisfaction of having won. But she had no idea how to do that and who else would help her besides Zabuza and Haku? She could only hope that she wouldn't bother him with her thoughts.
A rustle could be heard and Sakura noticed in the corners of her eyes how Zabuza also approached the fire and settled down with a grunt. "In Konoha they really don't seem to prepare you for the ninja life if you have no idea how to deal with such things". Sakura remained silent. Zabuza was absolutely right with his statement. Nothing she had learned at the academy or in the weeks as Team 7 from Kakashi-sensei - why she still called him Sensei - had prepared her for a situation like in Wave. Neither physically nor mentally she knew how to accomplish such a mission, so she only managed a slight nod in response, which resulted in a snort from the Kirinin. "First, you have to realize that death will always be a part of your life. Nothing can be set against that. Either you kill or you get killed, that's the life of a shinobi. We are tools, nothing more. If you only hesitate for a moment or feel sorry for your opponent, it can mean your death. To take someone's life in battle means you can live another day. So you have no reason to feel guilty. For all I care, mourn her death when you have a quiet minute, but then let go and live on. They have lost their lives so you can continue to live. The least you can do is make the best of the next day, since your opponents can't do it anymore. As for the betrayal. The world is anything but fair. There will always be someone who will take advantage of you and betray you, so always count on someone to ram a knife into your back if you're not careful. All you can do is turn anger into action, work on yourself, make it harder to hurt you. Instead of thinking about what if, focus the energy on improving yourself and always keep a watchful eye on friend and foe. Trust can cost a shinobi his life, so it's better not to trust blindly." That was the longest Zabuza had spoken in the past days and Sakura slowly let his words take effect. As hard as they sounded, they contained so much truth in her eyes that it was difficult for her to understand such wisdom from the Missing-nin. Yes, the life of a ninja was cruel, she had had to learn that painfully and Zabuza's words did not embellish that fact either, yet she felt as if he really wanted to help her with those words. The Haruno had hoped he would give her some good advice, but she had clearly not counted on the comprehensiveness. Humming she nodded and raised her head. Even though her eyes were dull and had lost their shine and naivety, even though she still had a long way to go before she could really accept Zabuza's words, he had given her back some strength.
She'd digest it and then come out stronger. She was a ninja. Surrender wasn't an option, not after she had survived Wave. As Zabuza had said, she had ended two lives who would have taken her life without batting an eyelid if she hadn't gotten ahead of them. The least she could do was live on. "Arigatou." That's all Sakura said and she didn't have to say anything else for Zabuza. He might be a Missing nin and had no problem killing, but he wasn't as cold-hearted as many assumed, even though a certain blonde Ninja had to make that clear to him first. Something he would never admit and fortunately it was something Haku would never address. This child had clearly softened him up, which disturbed him less than first thought. "Try to get back to sleep, training starts tomorrow morning." For the swordsman this was the end of the subject and he made his way back to the tree he was leaning against, while Sakura went back to her sleeping place and lay down. The fact that Haku moved closer to the Kunoichi shortly afterwards remained uncommented by both Zabuza and Sakura.
Morning came faster as the Haruno liked it after her short night, but she didn't complain. Instead, she went looking for something to eat. As usual, breakfast was quiet, which Sakura slowly got used to and found less bothering, as in the beginning. There was something relaxing about waking up in peace, waking up and eating. With Naruto, a morning was always filled with cheerful and over-excited chatter. Which wasn't bad, though perhaps a bit annoying, but Naruto's way was simply contagious. Inwardly she shook her head. She finally had to stop thinking about her old team, bringing only memories she wanted to forget. All she wanted was to look forward, change, improve and learn from her mistakes. " In order to start training, I need to know what the morons in Konoha taught you. Which techniques did you master? How is your strength and endurance? Is there something you want to focus on? I know Haku teaches you his knowledge of medicinal plants." Zabuza started after eating and Sakura flinched slightly. Not because he had spoken, but because she had to reveal that she couldn't really do anything a shinobi should. "The Academy teaches the basics. History, mathematics, rudimentary and I mean really rudimentary chakra theory, as well as practice in dealing with Kunai and Shuriken, Taijutsu, Nin- and Genjutsu. We learn what chakra is, what affinities there are, how genjutsus work and how to dissolve them. At Jutsus we learn three, which are also tested as final exams. Bunshin, Henge and Kawarimi and a few more that serve as a basis, like Kakuremino, Bikou Ninjutsu, Kibakufuda Kassei and Nawanuke no Jutsu. My strengths lie more in theory. I don't have a problem with acquiring knowledge and keeping it, but using it is harder. My Taijutsu is average, I only master the Katas the Academy taught us. I don't have enough chakra for most ninjutusus, because my family doesn't belong to any clan. My handling of weapons is also at most average and my throwing arm weak. But I can detect and dissolve genjutsus quite quickly and my chakra control seems to be a bit above average." At this point Sakura stopped briefly in her explanation and stared at her hands for a moment. "I had taken a scroll on chakra control with me from Konoha and was amazed at how little we actually learned about it in the Academy. Ka- Hatake-san made us climb trees in Wave using Chakra. Since I had already done another exercise from the scroll the night before, I had no problems with the exercise. I also wanted to practice jumping from branch to branch, but he forbid me to do so. It wasn't appropriate to my training level... I then secretly practiced walking on the water, which I also mastered quite quickly. Since my chakra pool isn't very huge, it's quickly depleted. And what I want to learn... I know that I have to work on my strength and stamina, maybe there are possibilities to increase my chakra reserves? I also have no idea what my element is, but maybe it's for later. I would also like to improve my weapon handling. One of the men that I... killed, had an interesting type of weapon, it looked like a trident, only that the middle fork was much longer than the outer two." With these words Sakura ended her little speech and turned her eyes towards the two men, waiting for what would happen now.
Hell. Nothing else could it be where she was again. Every fiber in her body groaned with pain and a fire was burning in her lungs that seemed to be unquenchable and with every breath the flames were further kindled. Sweat ran down her skin, making her clothes stick to her like a second layer of skin and it became harder and harder to hold the blades in her hands. Not only because her palms are sweating, but also because even her little finger hardly wanted to listen to her. Everything felt painful and no muscle wanted to respond to her anymore. Honestly, what had she let herself in for? "Urgh" Black dots appeared before her eyes and in an attempt to shake them off, Sakura closed her eyes briefly. However, as a result she lost her balance and fell to the ground. "Enough!" A stern voice she could barely hear because of the blood rushing in her ears and only with effort and adversity was Sakura able to reopen her eyes and see the person who had spoken. With crossed arms Zabuza stood not too far away from a tree and looked at the two teenagers. "That's enough for today. Go to the river and wash your sweat off, then we'll make our way to the village. Have some missions for us so that we can stay in an Inn for a while. While Haku and I are doing the missions, I expect you to keep training Sak and looking for jobs you can do. It's time we stock up your gear and we certainly won't pay for everything." With these words the Missing-nin turned around and returned to the camp.
Breathing heavily, Sakura tried to get up again, but her legs just wouldn't obey. All the more grateful she was when she spotted Haku's hand in her field of vision. "Come on, we shouldn't let Master Zabuza wait too long. You did well today." Without thinking, Sakura grabbed his hand and let Haku help her on her feet. A small smile had fallen on her lips at his words. Something she had done less and less in the past weeks. The cheerful, naive girl from Konoha disappeared with every day she spent with the two ninjas, but she missed the cheerful, carefree girl that she was once not really. A few weeks ago she was nothing but a weak, lovesick brat with no idea what it meant to be a shinobi, but thanks to the intense training she felt stronger every day. "Thank you. I feel stronger every day, but seriously. My endurance is still laughable." She couldn't expect miracles, she knew that, but it didn't change the fact that she was regularly frustrated with herself. Not that she didn't make any progress at all, on the contrary. Zabuza and Haku seemed satisfied with her development over the past four weeks, but it wasn't enough for Sakura. "Don't be so hard on yourself, Sak. You give your best every day and everything else will be fine with time as it should be". Sighing, young Haruno just nodded and stepped to the riverbank to wash away the sweat.
The water was cold on her heated skin, but with the weeks Sakura had gotten used to bathing in cold waters. That didn't mean she wouldn't prefer warm baths over icy streams and rivers. 'We only learned we don't need them if we want to get stronger, and even if we've only been out with them a little over a month, I'm sure we've grown more mature than if we had stayed in Konoha.' Humming, she agreed with Inner and slowly stepped out of the river. Shame, she had to learn that quickly, had no place in the group and her body was far from fully grown. She didn't even have breasts to hide. In addition, the Missing-nins had quickly made it clear to her that she alone was an easier victim for attacks, as long as she hadn' t learned to keep an eye on her surroundings and to defend herself properly. Thus, one of them was always near her when she left the camp. She had no time to let her feelings of shame come to the fore. Not that it had been an easy task and even now there were still moments when she was uncomfortable when one of the two Kiri-nins saw her almost undressed or completely without clothes on her body. But with the weeks she had built up a certain tolerance and the immediate proximity of one of the two, had already saved her one time or another literally. Not quite two weeks ago a few bandits had been near their camp and Sakura had wanted to clean herself after a hard day. Had Haku not been her companion, the encounter she had had with the bandits could have ended much more unpleasantly. After this incident, Zabuza had given her two sais, saying that she had to start protecting herself better, and she had understood why the two men insisted that there should always be someone near her, whether she was bathing or doing something else. A warm feeling had spread in her chest and it was the first day after all what had happened that a smile had settled on her lips. The two Missing-nins were worried about her and even though Zabuza was harsh and unapproachable, pushing her to her limits and beyond with his training, he didn't do it because he was cold-hearted. Even though he kept telling her to learn to control her emotions, she didn't care that day when she fell gratefully around his neck with tears of joy in her eyes and a warm smile on her lips. The first sincere smile, after ... After the betrayal.
"Sak, are you okay?" Haku was really a sweetheart, always worried about her well-being, so she only nodded briefly to ease his concerns. "All's well, I just remembered something. Will Zabuza-sama and you be long gone when you complete missions for the village?" She reattached her weapon bag and her sais after she had put them down for the bath in the river and turned to the older boy. As soon as everything was back in place, they made their way to the camp so that they could leave. "Zabuza-sama hasn't given me much information yet, but it looks like we will stay in the village for two to three weeks. We'll probably be back more often in the evening, depending on what kind of assignments we're dealing with." The young Haruno nodded to the answer and so she put the topic down again. She hadn't been much help for the two ninjas on their missions yet, but she had planned to continue training so she could accompany them on their missions at some point. The village, which would be her home for the next time, was very lively compared to Wave, but still much smaller than Konoha. But that didn't mean there was less activity on the streets. She had to be careful not to lose Zabuza and Haku in the crowd and despite her conspicuous hair color they only gave her a few skeptical looks every now and then. Namiutsu, that was the name of the village where they would live, was a mid-sized trading town somewhere in the land of water and whether she wanted to or not, Sakura was curious to see what she would see here. After all, she hadn't really been to other villages before, except then, years ago...
"Nii-san! Arms!" A young Sakura Haruno ran clumsily through the sandy ground towards a young man, laughing and cheerful, with open arms, crying out for an invitation to embrace. Squeaking with joy, the toddler threw herself in the arms of the man in question and was lifted immediately. Around her she did not recognize anything from her home Konohagakure. There wasn't enough green around her. "Where were you this time, Nii-san?" She felt the vibration of a suppressed laugh. "I was in your home Sacchan, nothing special. Remember, you'll travel as much later as I will."
A hand waved in front of Sakura's face and slowly the picture of her and the young man disappeared and she found herself on the busy streets of Namiutsu. "Are you with us again?" She heard the sober voice of Zabuza and young Haruno noticed that she had apparently spaced out. "Sorry Zabuza-sama. I think it just overwhelmed me to be back in a village." She couldn't tell them about any memories or dreams that made her drift away. After all, she didn't even have a clue what it was exactly.
They didn't have to walk through the busy streets for long until they arrived at a cheap Inn and checked in. The facial expression of the receptionist was quite amusing in Sakura's eyes, seeing her in shock, because of the statement that they were booking a room with two beds. She would have loved to know what the lady had been thinking. If Sakura had to guess, she would assume it was something adult. Seriously, why only because she would share a room with two male shinobis and probably a bed? The room was sparsely furnished, but it offered more comfort than the forest floor had done last month. And the young Kunoichi was looking forward to her first warm bath after a long time without warm water. "Haku and I will look around and gather informations for the first job. You should also explore the village and look for a job for the next few weeks. You need your own money to upgrade your equipment. We'll meet here for dinner tonight." " Hai." Sakura knew the process when the two men had a job to do that she couldn't participate in. In nature it was mostly a matter of finding a sheltered hiding place and waiting. Now, with the protection of a village, she could allow herself to go out on her own. She had to start contributing to the group no matter how small he might be. Even before she could leave, Haku and Zabuza had disappeared and Sakura wondered what she best wanted to do with her new freedom and task. She took her weapons with her as a precaution, she had only really taken them off for bathing or sleeping. However, she made sure that her sais were well covered by her clothes. She didn't have to draw more attention to herself than her hair color already did. This reminded her to think of something about it. Her hair was conspicuous and after the events in Wave she reluctantly wanted to run into someone from Konoha who might have recognised her by her hair colour. Perhaps she would find a solution if she looked around the village today.
The people here were fucking kidding her! The young girl had been on the streets for an hour and a half, asking about possible jobs, only to hear that she was too young to be given any tasks. ~They're worse than in Konoha. At least they let Genins earn their money through D-Rang missions, but here... Well, they don't know that I'm a ninja, but still I'm damned 13 and I'm allowed to do certain work.~ Furious at the narrow-mindedness of the villagers, the young Kunoichi sat down on the edge of a fountain in the centre of the village and thought. Somehow she had to get money and it would be best if she could combine her work with her training and gather information at the same time. According to Zabuza, information was worth a lot of money and could possibly help them in some ways. The question was just how to connect all these dots. Wait a minute! For a moment, Sakura's mouth twitched upwards. She could use Henge to transform herself into an adult woman. This would expand her chakra reserves and improve her control, depending on how long she kept the facade upright. If she found work in a bar, she would quickly get information and rumors. That's it!
In a side street she concentrated the necessary amount of chakra and changed her appearance into a young woman she had seen somewhere in Konoha on the street. Afterwards she headed off to check out the bars. Somebody would surely need a temporary help and this time fate seemed to be merciful to her. The second bar she entered was really looking for a temp and took her in. That was almost too easy, but Sakura wouldn't drop her cover. It might have been easy to get the job. But that didn't mean he didn't have his dangers and she couldn't afford her cover to blow. That would certainly be a few fun weeks.