"Madara!" Hashirama said, swinging up his tree branch to block Madara's sword. "Where have you been! It's been AGES! I wanted to show- "
"It's none of your businesss, mushroom head," Madara said, and he was one to talk, he was the one who looked like a giant porcupine. "Take that-!"
A sharp feint and kick - and off went Hashirama straight into the water.
"Noooo!" Hashirama said before it ended in a splash.
Madara smirked smugly, pleased to have finally won a spar against Hashirama - and right behind where Hashirama had been was a tiny little pale child, blinking up at Madara with huge red eyes.
Hashirama's tiny baby brother, whom he'd wanted to show Madara for ages.
Argh babies!
Madara swung his sheathed katana at the baby - and his too big head just -
Overbalanced and fell into the water.
Well Hashirama caught that tiny toddler. So Madara was the undisputed WINNER.
THE END