Chapter 3
Neither spoke for the remainder of the night. The kiss getting lost in the night and soon the trio were heading back to their house, Jordan chatting away whilst Katie and Caitlin remained silent, looking out of the car windows. After breaking the kiss in the bar, they barely had an opportunity catch a breath, let alone speak to each other.
As the car pulled up, no other words were spoken until Jordan broke the silence as they entered the house.
“Alright whats going on? You’ve both been awkward as hell” Jordan asked staring at the pair
“Nothing?” They both said quickly, denying any awkwardness
“I’m too tired to deal with whatever this is” Jordan huffed, sulking because she wasn’t clued into what was going on “I’m going to bed. I leave for camp at 11am”
“We’ll be up to wave you off Jords. Goodnight” Caitlin said, giving Jordan a squeeze before watching her walk up the stairs. She turned back around to face the room and saw Katie standing with her elbows on the kitchen counter and head in hands. Caitlin walked up behind her and hugged her from behind.
Katie moved her body around in the hug so that she was now facing Caitlin and this time pulled them together, connecting their lips again.
Neither wanted to break the kiss, but soon lost their breath, forcing them to pause.
“We should probably talk” Caitlin whispered, breathing heavily.
“Not now” Katie whispered back, pulling Caitlin back to her.
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Katie rose the following morning and slowly woke up to someone stirring next to her. “uh oh” Katie thought as the events of the night unfolded. She remembered drinking a lot, more than she usually drinks and remembered kissing Caitlin, both in the bar and in the kitchen at home. She then remembered it moving to the bedroom.
Katie started to feel instant regret, they were teammates, and they’d possibly ruined their friendship by crossing the line. Should she back off? She slumped back down in bed and turned on her side to grab her phone from the bedside table when she felt an arm snake around her naked waist.
“Well that was unexpected?” Caitlin said with a hoarse voice. When she didn’t get an immediate response she pulled her arm away “Do you regret it?” she asked sadly
“I don’t know. Maybe?” Katie admitted, turning on her back and putting an arm over her head so that she could hide her face. Katie felt the bed move as Caitlin stood up, Katie watched through the corner of her eyes as Caitlin’s naked body moved about her room, collecting the clothes that were thrown without care last night. The door then opened and she left quietly, in hopes that Jordan didn’t find out. Katie sighed and pulled a pillow over her head, groaning in frustration.
Outside the room, Caitlin sighed hard and made her way to her room. She didn’t regret last night but Katie obviously did. Had she pushed her too hard and too fast? She walked into her room and grabbed some clothes, before making her way to the bathroom where she quickly turned the shower on, waiting for it to heat up, before stepping into it and sighing once more, but this time in relief.
Her muscles ached and her head throbbed in confusion and frustration. She allowed the tension to drop from her shoulders and told herself that she wouldn’t let the events of the night affect her. It was a one night stand, it didn’t have to mean anything. But as she stood there, the hot water helping melt the events away, doubt creeped in. Had she ruined her friendship? Exploring the new territory with Lia was easy, she hadn’t been at Arsenal long and therefore didn’t have the same friendships she did now, their relationship was easy and new. But the new territory with Katie was different and more complex, they were so intertwined that breaking that would shatter more worlds than one.
Deciding she needed the distraction; she turned the shower off and changed her clothes. She looked at her phone and saw it was half ten, meaning she had 30 minutes before Jordan left. Opening the messaging app, she dropped Steph and Mackenzie a message asking to meet up. She knew they were both still in town and thought they’d know what she should do.
Opening the messaging app, she asked them to meet her for coffee at her and Stephs usual spot for lunch, knowing Mackenzie wouldn’t mind the travel up to St Albans from West Ham.
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After bidding her farewell to Jordan and wishing her luck, Caitlin moved around the house gathering her keys, purse and putting her shoes on. Katie stood back watching awkwardly, as if she wanted to talk but didn’t know what to say. She stood looking down at her feet, refusing to look anywhere near Caitlin.
“What are you up to today?” Katie asked, finally breaking the silence.
“Just meeting the girls for lunch” Caitlin said simply, not wanting to offer much more.
“Could we hang out?” Katie asked bravely, she had regretted her comments this morning and wanted to make amends, but didn’t quite know how. Caitlin sighed and looked towards Katie who still couldn’t look at her.
“I don’t think that’s wise Katie. You can barely look at me, I asked if you regretted and you said maybe? Then you ignore me all morning. Way to make a girl feel wanted. Even if you don’t want anything from this, I expected a bit more considering you’re my best friend” Caitlin snapped harshly. Not wanting to beat around the bush. She finished pulling on her shoes and left the house, pulling the front door shut without looking back.
It was a warm and sun-drenched day as Caitlin walked the short route to where the three friends had agreed to meet. The streets were alive with the buzz of summer and Caitlin soaked up the sun that she had missed so very much.
Caitlin arrived early and she stepped into her local café, a cozy spot nestled off the main streets, its windows and doors wide open to let the summer breeze in. Inside the smell of freshly ground coffee beans mingling with the sweetness of pastries.
Caitlin took a seat by the window, her sunglasses perched on top of her head as she pulled out her phone to check the time. Not long after, Steph walked in, her hair pulled into a messy bun, and a clad in small summer shorts and an oversized tshirt, with a hoodie wrapped around her shoulders and sun glasses on her head.
"You’ll never guess what just happened," she said, laughing as she sat down. "I just got stopped by a local news station, Lorraine, I think it’s called, stopped me in the street for an interview, but I don’t think they knew who I was" she said laughing even more. Caitlin this time joining in the laughter, feeling lighter the more time went on.
"Noooooo they didn’t?!” Caitlin replied shocked, mid laughter.
“They didn’t what?” A voice said behind them and the pair spun round too see Mackenzie walking over with a bright smile. Even though she lived only a few miles away, the Aussie contingent didn’t always get the time to see each other as much as they’d like.
The pair grinned at the other Brunette and jumped up for a hug, before deciding they needed to order drinks and settling down to look at the menu.
“So what didn’t they do?” Mackenzie asked trying to clarify what she had missed. They had just tucked the menus away after ordering their respective drinks and some pastries and fell into casual conversation.
“So I was just walking from mine to here and a local news channel were doing interviews with people, so naturally I went to cross the street as that’s not my vibe, but as I was waiting to cross they intercepted me for an interview. But they didn’t know who I was so I was casually called a St Albans Local, despite my accent and all. They asked what would a St Albans Local do if they won £100,000.” Steph laughed causing Mackenzie to snort.
“Oh the internet is going to love that, well what would you do?” she asked once she had recovered.
“I don’t know! I said the first thing that felt natural and that was save up for my wedding” Steph shrugged, “I hope it doesn’t go on TV, that would be mortifying.” She said rolling her eyes and leaning backwards as the drinks arrived. The café buzzed with a gentle hum, filled with the chatter of other patrons enjoying the summer day as they quietly enjoyed the first sips of their drinks.
The conversation flowed effortlessly between them. Steph filled them all about her move to a new flat with her fiancé Dean and all about wedding planning.
“It’s so much more expensive than we could’ve anticipated, and its really hard to plan a wedding in Australia when we live here considering the time distance” Steph moaned “We’ve got the guest list done and the venue, but we’ve got a while yet so that’s good”
Mackenzie, never one to hold back, dove straight into the guest list questions "so who is invited?" she asked, eyes twinkling and a puppy dog expression forming.
“Mac! You cant assume we’re invited!” Caitlin said, playfully hitting Mackenzies hands down that had joined together into a beg.
"Oh its alright, I love talking about it” Steph said quickly and Mackenzie whooped in joy. "So family and friends from back home etc probably equate to maybe 80% of the guests? And then there’s a few football guys, I’m not inviting the entire squad otherwise that would get difficult, and I hope you don’t mind, Cait I’ve added a teammate as your plus one, I know its cheeky but felt they’d be your plus one anyway" she shrugged
Caitlin nodded, understanding. "I’m just honoured to be invited!! Gives me an excuse to go home too, where are you doing it? Who else is invited from the team" she asked, knowing that whilst Steph was from Melbourne, Dean was from Sydney.
“It’s sort of half way between, it didn’t feel fair to do it in one or the other” Steph said earning a hum of agreement. “And so theres Mac and Kirsty, Kim and Leah, Beth and Viv, you and Katie and…” Steph started but didn’t finish as she was interrupted by Caitlin choking on her drink at the mention of Katie. “Er you okay?”
Caitlin continued to choke until Mackenzie hit her on the back and looked confused. “Is there something wrong with you and Katie?”
“Nooo” Caitlin said quickly and cleaned up the coffee that had spilt.
“Oh there clearly is! I saw you all over each other last night and thought it was a bit more than usual but didn’t think much of it” Steph said in realisation. This made Mackenzie gasp as she wasn’t in attendance last night. “This is way juicer! And you let me go on about the wedding!”
“No no the wedding is a lot more interesting trust me” Caitlin said trying to back out of the conversation, but she was shushed by both women “We’ve been flirting and what not for the last month or so and last night we crossed the line. She had what I assume is a panic attack when I touched her thigh at the bar and ended up going outside with Leah and Beth, I’m not sure what they said but she came back in and when I found her we kissed slightly but then ignored each other all night until we got home” Caitlin said with a small amount of word vomit
“I take it you slept together?” Mackenzie asked bluntly.
“Yeah. But when we woke up this morning, she was weird with me and I asked if she regretted it and she said she didn’t know how to feel and maybe! Fucking maybe!” Caitlin said and let out a frustrated sigh.
“Okay I’m going to stop this here before we dive too deep. I think we need something stronger than a coffee” Steph said standing up abruptly “Pub?”
“Well we cant go back to mine as she lives there so yes” Caitlin said quickly, also standing up, following Steph and Mackenzie out of the door and to the pub that was just on the opposite corner from the coffee shop.
Once situated at a table, this time outside in the beer garden as the sun was shining down, Steph leaned in, her expression softening. "So finish your story?"
Caitlin took a deep breath, then exhaled slowly, as if she were bracing herself to finally let everything out. "We… we slept together last night," she said, her eyes darting away from both of them for a moment. "And it was... I thought it was something that could’ve been the start of something. But now... now she’s giving me the cold shoulder. And it just feels like I’ve ruined what we had”
Mackenzie and Steph exchanged a glance, both sensing the hurt in Caitlin’s words. It wasn’t just about the sex—it was about the connection Caitlin had hoped for, the vulnerability she had put out there, and how quickly it had been dashed.
"How did it get to the sleeping together? I mean I’m sorry if I’ve been blind but I knew you guys were close but didn’t realise it was more than friends?" Mackenzie asked gently, her voice steady.
"Yeah," Caitlin said, nodding. "We’ve always had this flirty banter and we always felt comfortable around each other. I obviously have more feelings and those started a few months ago. I’ve never acted on any feelings because she was with Ruesha, but when that ended and she moved in, our friendship seemed to be taken to another level and the flirting tripled and we kept stealing glances and touching. She even said shes seen me stare and said that she liked what she saw when she saw me in just a top. She even said she didn’t mind when I couldn’t look away when I walked in on her accidently in the shower. I just feel like I’ve been used, you know? Like I was just a mistake that she now regrets. Maybe I was a rebound?"
Steph’s expression softened with empathy. "That sucks, Cait. I’m sorry. I can’t even imagine how much that must sting. It’s like she was her usual self, and then a totally different once she got you. But the thing is, you didn’t do anything wrong. Neither of you did wrong in the moment. She might be awkward at the start, but it doesn’t have to change your friendship”
Caitlin shrugged, a sigh escaping her lips. "I know. But it’s hard not to take it personally. I mean, I really thought there was something there. And now... I just feel stupid."
"You’re not stupid," Mackenzie said firmly, her tone serious. "You trusted her, and that’s never stupid. Sometimes people aren’t as honest with themselves as they should be, and maybe Katie just isn’t sure what she wants, and now she’s running from it. But that’s on her, not on you."
Caitlin nodded, her throat tightening. "I just... I don’t know what to do. I’ve been trying to figure out whether I should reach out or just leave it. It feels like no matter what, I’m going to get hurt. She tried to talk to me this morning and asked to hang out, but is that because she’s realised Jordan is gone for the summer and doesn’t want to be alone?"
"That’s the worst part, isn’t it?" Steph added, her voice quiet. "When you invest yourself in someone, especially in something that feels like it could be real, and then you’re left with nothing. It’s like you’re stuck in limbo, waiting for someone to either give you closure or make up their mind. I think you both need to talk and see where your heads are at. She might not regret it now but just didn’t know how to react in the moment? She has just come out of a 6 year relationship”
There was a pause as Caitlin took it all in, her friends’ words wrapping around her like a comforting blanket. She hadn’t realised just how much she needed this moment to unload, to say everything she had been carrying without fear of judgment.
"I guess what’s frustrating," Caitlin said after a moment, her voice quieter now, "is that I know I played a part and maybe I pushed her too hard. But it’s hard to just let go when everything felt so... real. She felt so real. And now it feels like I’ve lost everything to do with her?”
Mackenzie reached across the table, placing a hand on Caitlin’s. "You are so much better than someone who doesn’t see your worth. You don’t have to shrink yourself to fit into someone else’s uncertainty. If she can’t recognize that, then that’s her loss, not yours."
Steph nodded in agreement. "You deserve someone who is fully present, Cait. Not someone who disappears the moment things get complicated. Don’t let her make you doubt your worth. You’re incredible just as you are. I love Katie, don’t get me wrong, but if it’s going to be messy, I don’t think its something you need"
Caitlin felt a lump form in her throat, the tears that had been threatening to fall all morning finally rising to the surface. She blinked them back, not wanting to break down in front of her friends, but the warmth of their words was like a balm to her bruised heart.
"Thank you," she whispered, her voice thick with emotion. "I really needed to hear that. I’ve been overthinking the what-ifs”
"Of course," Mackenzie said, her voice full of warmth. "That’s what we’re here for. You don’t have to go through this alone."
Steph smiled softly, reaching out to give Caitlin’s hand a reassuring squeeze. "We’ve got your back, always."
The three of them sat in comfortable silence for a few moments, the sun continuing to shine high in the sky. Caitlin still felt a weight on her chest, but it wasn’t as heavy as before. She knew there would be hard days ahead as she tried to move on from what had happened with Katie, but she also knew she wasn’t alone. Her friends were right—she deserved more, and eventually, she would find someone who could give her that.
Conversations eventually moved on to the possibility of planning a trip to Greece for the group of friends.