Chapter 1
It wasn’t an expected break up, but it also wasn’t unexpected. They had been dating for over 6 years at this point but the last 6 months had been going downhill and fast.
“Are you around this weekend?” Katie asked as they moved around their home getting ready for bed, she was mid brushing her teeth, looking at Ruesha who was in the middle of packing an overnight bag.
“Nah” Ruesha said bluntly, not offering any more.
“Why? Rue I never see you anymore” Katie said frustratingly, returning to the bedroom. “I miss you, why can’t you stay? The seasons over?”. The truth for Katie was that she had been trying hard to make their relationship work, but hadn’t been getting the same effort back, instead all she got was snarky remarks and long periods of being alone.
“You don’t miss me so stop lying and whilst the season is over, some of us are trying to get off the bench next season and actually start a match. Not all of us have your special talent and get things handed on a plate.” Ruesha scoffed and zipped up her bag.
“That’s not fair Rue and you know it. I’m sorry you’ve been injured, I really am. But if you don’t let me in I cant be there for you” Katie said sighing.
“I don’t want you there for me Katie” Ruesha snapped and Katie saw the hatred in her eyes.
“Don’t come back then” Katie snapped back and Ruesha sucked in a breath of air.
“What?” Ruesha said mouth agape.
“You heard me.” Katie said simply and stared at Ruesha. “You can’t have it both ways Rue.”
“So, you’re just giving up?” Ruesha asked quietly.
“No Ruesha, I’ve been trying for months now, you shut me out, you barely speak more than 5 words to me anymore. This is the longest conversation we’ve had in months. How am I supposed to keep going if this is our life? We’re supposed to be partners, and it feels like you don’t even like me as a friend right now. I’m trying so hard to support you, but it just feels like you think I’m the enemy.” Katie said angrily, the anger coming from Ruesha assuming it’s her thats giving up.
“Oh, so it’s all my fault?” Ruesha retorted quickly, “All you care about is yourself, the Miss Im Perfect Ireland Captain, Arsenal Superstar Katie McCabe. You walked away the moment you got famous”. Ruesha said and pushed forward from where she was standing to come inches away from Katie’s face.
“See that’s the issue isn’t it; you can’t stand to see other people doing well. And no Rue, I never walked away, I’m here and I’ve always been here. But I can’t keep being here. I think it’s best if we weren’t together anymore. We’re over Rue.” Katie said, tears streaming down her face now that she finally had said the words. A gasp escaped her mouth as she felt a hand connect with her cheek and quickly realised that Ruesha had slapped her.
No other words were said between the pair, other than a look of disbelief. Katie walked out of their shared bedroom and to the spare room which was used as a dressing room and picked up some clothes to change into. She then swiftly got changed and left the house, not wanting to be in the house alone
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10 minutes later, a red faced but no longer crying Katie appeared at a familiar door and knocked.
“Katie? Its nearly midnight what are you doing here?” Jordan asked as she swung the door open and looked out to Katie standing in the dark. Behind her came sounds of laughing and the television. Katies eyes went wide as she realised she may be interrupting.
“Sorry, I didn’t realise you were busy, I’ll leave” Katie said quickly, turning her body to back out of the doorway.
“No no, its only me and Cait in, we’re watching a game show” Jordan said seeing the panic form in Katie’s eyes when she tried to back away. “Come in” she said after Katie didn’t move. She took her by the arm and pulled her into the house, only now seeing the redness on Katies face now that there was light. Jordan gasped loudly and then whispered in shock, “What’s happened?”
The gasp had alerted the other occupant in the house to something more than a quick house call and soon Caitlin appeared at the end of the hallway. “Is everything okay?” Caitlin asked walking towards the pair, before seeing the red face of Katie.
“Apparently not” Jordan said quickly, looking up and having a silent conversation with her roommate about the normally perky and sarcastic Irish woman who was now standing in their hallway a shell of herself. Caitlin quickly pushed forward and grabbed the Irish girl by her shoulders and pulled her in for a tight hug. They remained like this whilst Jordan moved into the house and started preparing the guest bedroom.
“I’m sorry for interrupting your evening, I forgot you two were dating” Katie whispered and frowned when she felt Caitlin chuckle.
“Kate we’re not dating don’t be silly, I moved in after my breakup with Lia, remember? Jords is sweet but not my type” Caitlin said laughing
“She’s not my type either just for the record!!” Jordan shouted down the hall which made Katie join in on the laughing.
“Sorry I must’ve forgot” Katie said now not laughing.
“Don’t worry, you’ve had a lot on” Caitlin whispered and took Katies hand, giving it a squeeze before guiding her through the house. Why the younger woman had turned up at their doorstep with a tear streamed and red face left untouched for now.
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Before Katie had turned up at the door of her best friends, she was getting ready for bed, however now after the events of the night, she wasn’t remotely tired. She lay in the bed provided staring up at the ceiling, listening to the tick of the alarm clock on the bedside table.
Sighing, she sat up and placed her feet on the floor. She needed to keep her mind occupied, so she stood up and made her way down to the living room, switching the small light on that was next to the sofa. Sitting down, she pulled out a magazine that was lying on the coffee table and flicked to the puzzle section. It helped to quieten her mind for a moment, and she hummed in relief. Thinking back to the feelings of the evening, she reflected, she had already grieved the relationship and had excepted it to come to an end at some point but wasn’t expecting it to come to an end now, she also wasn’t expecting the way it had ended. The sadness of the relationship ending weirdly wasn’t there, but it was the sadness of losing the person she’d spent the last 6 years of her life with. She was angry at the slap and confused as hitting someone would never have crossed her mind and didn’t think it was Ruesha’s thing either. But being the practical person she is, she started to make a mental list of the next steps now her relationship had ended. First things first would be selling their shared home and finding a place to stay. Luckily for them, they had just finished their season and had a few months off before pre-season started so she had plenty of time to get her ducks in a row.
She was quickly knocked out of her trance when she heard a bedroom door open and a slight creak in the stairs. Looking behind her, she saw a tired Caitlin walk downstairs, yawning.
“Katie? What’s going on?” Caitlin asked confused, wrapping her arms around her to try and keep her from waking up too much. Katie then noticed what she was wearing, she was wearing an old Switzerland jersey and what looked like no shorts and just underwear.
“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to wake you” Katie whispered, trying to not wake Jordan.
“You didn’t don’t worry. I didn’t expect anyone up tho” Caitlin admitted and walked to the kitchen to get a glass of water. She then returned to where Katie was sitting and sat down in the armchair opposite her, tucking her legs up underneath her.
“Switzerland jersey?” Katie asked pointing at Caitlins nightwear confused, Lia, Caitlin’s ex was Swiss but why would Caitlin still have her ex’s jersey?
“Yeah?” Caitlin asked not putting the dots together, it then suddenly dawned on her “Ohhh, you’re asking why im wearing her jersey when we broke up? Well it was a mutual break really, we got close during covid and fell into the relationship, but after lockdown ended, we drifted and realised we didn’t have the romance we once had. But we’re still friends and I used to always wear this to bed so didn’t see the need to get rid of it” Caitlin shrugged.
“That’s nice you’re still friends with her” Katie admitted sadly. “I don’t think I’ll be able to be friends with Ruesha any time soon”
“Ah so that’s what this is?” Caitlin asked, figuring out the meaning behind Katie’s words. “When?”
“This evening.” Katie shrugged and then looked at the clock, which showed it was nearly 4am. “Well I guess now it would be yesterday”
“You okay?” Caitlin asked, not wanting to pressure the younger woman into talking.
“Yeah I’m okay, just angry you know? It only took 6 months to throw away 6 years, but I grieved the end a while ago. I’m angry with how she reacted when I called it.” Katie admitted, “trying to put it back onto me when its her that stopped the effort long ago. At least I had the guts to say something”
“What did she do?” Caitlin asked, thinking back to when she saw Katie in the doorway and remembering the red face which was more than tears. Catlin gasped and then spoke again “She hit you didn’t she?”. Katie nodded slowly and watched as Caitlin moved from her position opposite, to sitting on the coffee table in front of Katie, inches away from her face. Caitlin took Katie’s face in her hands and inspected her cheek.
“It’s fine it could be worse, I think its just a shock as I wouldn’t have thought that would be her natural instinct.” Katie admitted, awkwardly looking at Caitlin inspecting her face. “Maybe im just not good enough for anyone”
“No don’t do that.” Caitlin said firmly, still holding Katies face but this time meeting her eyes “You are perfect, you hear me? Ruesha is a fool for letting you go, but listen to me very clearly, you are not defined by her reactions or her letting your relationship fail, you tried, I know you tried. But from here on out, you will feel better, and you will be more yourself. I will be with you every step of the way and so will Jordan”
“Thanks Cait, I really appreciate that” Katie said shyly. “Now go back to bed, I’m sorry for waking you.”
“You didn’t wake me, I already told you.” Caitlin chuckled, standing up from her position, her mid-section now being the perfect height for Katie’s head. Katie felt herself blushing, she was only inches away from Caitlin and couldn’t take her eyes off the gap between her leg and the loose thsirt. “Like what you see?” Caitlin teased, looking down at Katie who had her eyes glued to her mid section. Katie’s head snapped up, her cheeks now even more red than earlier.
She quickly re-gained composure and stood up so that they were again face to face. “Yeah actually I do” Katie smirked, making Caitlin gasp in shock, she didn’t expect that reaction when she decided to push the limits. “Thanks for tonight Cait, my mind is a lot clearer now. Could you do me a favour tho and just tell Jords what happened? I’d like to move on and don’t think repeating it to everyone will help”
“Sure thing” Caitlin nodded still rooted to the spot, but watching Katie step out from their position. Regaining her composure, she grabbed the glass of water and made her way to the stairs, walking behind Katie who also headed up to her room. “Night Kate” Caitlin whispered, pulling Katie into a hug as she stood in front of her door. Feeling brave, Caitlin took her hand and placed it under her tshirt on her hip “If you liked what you saw with clothes on, you might like whats under them” she said bravely. Before Katie could respond, Caitlin had turned and entered her room, shutting the door behind her and on a shocked Katie.