Prologue
A streak of gold shone into my little box. The box was small with four simple wooden walls. The room was a plain brown, as none of the walls had been painted. The wood had started to splinter from age. My box was dangerous. My hands often scratched from the panel. Not that it mattered. It just blended in with the rest of my body.
This was the little box I have lived in my whole life. I don’t remember ever being anywhere else. The box had cracks that allowed me to peer out sometimes. In the floor, I could see part of a room. It had a few chairs and tables. Children would always come in there at a certain time when the sun was at its highest. I would always watch them. I had to, after all, I wanted to learn. This is what I overheard was ‘classroom’ in which children learned. I wasn’t allowed in there, I wasn’t allowed anywhere. The next crack opened up to what I learned was ‘outside.’ I saw children playing there with adults. There was a tree and a few bushes with flowering plants called roses. The children were always told to watch themselves or they would be pricked.
This was how I learned. I observed, watched, and listened. I could even understand them. I had trouble speaking but I was able to hold discussions with the walls and practice. Then when I found a colonizing group of birds right next to the ‘window’ I would whisper with them. Though I had to be quiet or the matron would come. I liked the matron. She was beautiful with short brown hair and light olive eyes. Unlike myself, I was hideous. I knew she didn’t love me, but she was the only one who cared for me and saw. She was the only one who knew I existed.
The matron was almost like a mother. She fed me every few days with the leftovers. Then every week she would wash me in the little bucket at the corner of my room. My baths would leave my skin red and raw, but clean.
I was small enough to fit in the bucket. I was very small. I saw the other kids and knew I was different. I had all my bones showing under my skin which I saw they didn’t. I was ugly. My hair was always knotted down to my hips while my skin was a pasty pale that made me look sick. I have never seen my face before, but I knew it was just as ugly as the rest of me. Because I was a monster.
A monster, that was the one thing I was most sure about. I learned that the same day I found out the matron was in fact not my mother. When I was two I had accidentally called her that, my mother. She grew madder than I had ever seen. I always heard the resentment in her voice and saw the coldness in her eyes. Though that day, she started screaming. She slapped me and it stung. She had hurt me before, but never like this. That was when she first told me who I was. A monster, a demon. She spat in my face of how I killed her son. That was me, I was not her son, no, I was the beast that killed him. The matron didn’t feed me for a few days after.
I heard a loud banging sound downstairs, I looked down into the floor but I couldn’t see the door it came from. I looked to a different crack, there was nothing there but I could hear the voices much better.
“Hokage-Sama, you’re here!”
“What an honor it is to see you!”
Two females spoke in loud clear voices. I had heard of this ‘Hokage’, he led the village outside of my box, the people respected him. The children learned about him in the classroom. I briefly saw a picture of him at one point.
“I did not receive a report on Naruto last month.”
Naruto … I believe that was my name, I think I was called that by my previous matron. I don’t remember her much, just that she was very nice, maybe she even loved me… but she too must have realized I was a monster because she stopped coming one day.
“Oh… we’re so sorry we must have forgotten to send it, I’ll go retrieve it,” There was some sort of disappointment in her voice.
“After that, you can meet the children playing outside right now!” The other female was still very enthusiastic.
“Is Naruto out there?”
“No Hokage-Sama, he’s napping right now, we have different schedules for children to make room.”
“Go wake him up.”
“I-I don't think that’s a good idea Hokage-Sama!”
“Then I’ll wait for him to wake up.”
“Hokage-Sama plea-”
I heard a sound, I’m not sure what it was but the woman stopped speaking at the sound.
“Monkey, please.”
“Yes, Hokage-Sama.”
I believe I heard about monkeys, they’re animals that live in the jungle. But I know monkeys don’t talk. I wonder who he’s talking to. I heard walking and quickly lunged away from the crack. The matron would be very upset if she learned what I was doing. The person coming was not the matron, unlike her heavy long steps, these steps were lighter and more erratic. Nonetheless, if the matron heard about my actions she would be mad.
The door opens and instead of the pretty matron was a monkey. Just like the Hokage said. But it wasn’t a real monkey, as I am sure monkeys don’t talk. This was a human wearing a monkey mask. It was a little frightening, I’ve never seen such a phenomenon. The person, I can now identify as a male, gasped, I’m not sure at what. Maybe he also knows I’m a monster. He called something but I didn’t really catch it. I heard more footsteps, three more people I believe. They showed up seconds later, and they too gasped. I could recognize the Hokage in the middle. I stayed quiet because the matron told me not to speak unless told to.
“Na- Naruto?” The Hokage asked. I looked at him, I think he’s talking to me but I don’t know what to say. I stayed quiet. I heard a sob but I don’t know why or from who.
“What are you waiting for, get him to the hospital!” The Hokage demanded. A person in a bird mask approached me.
“Can I touch you?” This was also a man.
“... Yes,” Although I’m not sure why someone would want to touch me. But when the matron touched me it felt nice, even if I knew she didn’t love me, I felt cared for.
The man grabbed me and did something with his hand, I think it was jutsu, then we appeared somewhere different, outside of my box, in a bigger nicer white box. This was my first time outside of my box and I didn’t like it.
I always wished to one day be able to feel the sun on my skin and smell the flowers myself, but I was not prepared. These were strangers. And the man did not tell me he would be taking me anywhere. It was happening too fast, I was not prepared.
“Please take me back,” I knew I would get punished for speaking but I wanted to go back.
“Please,” I said when he said nothing. There was too much going on, I wasn’t safe.
“Please!” my body started convulsing in ways I didn't think I physically could anymore, this was the first I started crying in a long time. I couldn’t stop. I heard a small sound, I think it was a whispered “sorry” before everything was black.
Hiruzen looked at the pitiful child. How could he have not noticed what was happening? How did it take him so long to do anything? Hiruzen sighed at his own stupidity. The last time he’d seen the boy was when he was only some 7 or 8 months old. Naruto was incredibly pale as if he’d never seen the sun, which at this point Hiruzen thought was a possibility. He was small for age and incredibly frail. His blonde hair was long and much lighter than what it was last time he saw it. There were cuts and bruises everywhere and his clothes were barely any use. The only thing that stayed the same were his large gorgeous eyes.
---
When Hiruzen first saw the child he thought Naruto would be an exact physical replica of Minato, but now he noticed he was wrong. Naruto had a small button nose, large sharp eyes with long eyelashes, high cheekbones, and a round face. His hair was silky and straight like Kushina’s too. He was much more beautiful than handsome. The only similarity between Naruto and Minato was the blonde hair and blues eyes. The thing that was entirely unique so far was the soft melodious voice he had. His mother was loud and clear while his father was confident and strong.
Hiruzen gripped the sleeping boy's hand, what would be different if he had just been there? Simply checked on him, or cared for him, or, or… it was useless to wonder now.
“I’m so sorry.”
---
I woke up. Everything was warm and soft unlike usual. I was in the same box as before, white and pristine. I was alone. I’m not as scared as I was before. It was just another room, they would most likely keep me in here like before. It was nicer, but there were no cracks I could learn from or any birds or caterpillars I could talk with. The door opened and the Hokage came in. He smiled, I was never smiled at before.
“Are you okay now?”
I felt a burning sensation and felt my face turn red, I don’t know why but I felt strange. I think I was embarrassed, like those kids outside who were caught doing something bad by the matrons. He chuckled, and I remembered I needed to answer.
“... Yes.” He still smiled
“I brought you some clothes, once you finish changing knock on the door and I’ll come to get you.” He left before I could say anything. The clothes were much nicer than what I had. They were black pants and shoes with a strange orange top and a rope. I put the pants on but I didn’t know what to do with the top half. I looked at the door and decided against knocking. After a few minutes, the Hokage came back inside on his own.
“What’s wrong?”
“I- I don’t know h-how… “ I pointed at the top and he laughed. I felt the burning again. He motioned me to him and I went. He slid on the top and proceeded to fold over the cloth and tie it with the rope.
“It’s called kimono, and the tie is an obi.”
“Thank you.” He smiled again and it made me feel warm.
“We’re going to your new home.”
I think I’ve heard children mention that before as they were adopted by nice-looking adults. But I wasn’t sure as to what that referred to.
“A home?”
The Hokage looked at me for a few seconds before tapping his chin in thought, “It’s a place where you sleep, eat, and live. It’s a place where you feel safe and be with the people you care for.”
I had never heard of such a place before… but it sounded nice, “I’ve never had a home…”
The Hokage smiled but it seemed sad and bittersweet, “I know.”
We exited the white building the Hokage told me was called a hospital. I have heard of hospitals but I’ve never seen one. Outside the hospital was a street with people walking down it yelling at each other. It looked just like the one I could see from my box.
But there were so many people.
They stopped to look at the Hokage, they looked like they… respected him. From what I read he was very powerful. I can’t imagine why he would want to be near me. I was a monster. If people saw him next to me… they might think he’s a monster too. The matron told me I would corrupt others if I played with them.
I tried to hide under his billowing cloak, maybe that would make the stares go away.
I always imagined this day, where I would walk outside with everyone else. But now they were all staring at me. I didn’t like it. I didn’t feel like everyone else. Maybe it’s because I’m ugly just like the matron told me.
Maybe they knew I was a monster. That I killed someone. I felt my face burn red again but I don’t think it’s embarrassment.
Shame. That’s what it is.
I felt the Hokage squeeze my hand and he started walking faster. I stumbled trying to keep up but in a few seconds, the streets cleared of screaming people.
He showed me to a small building made out of groups of rooms.
“This is the apartment complex you will be staying in… I’m sorry it’s not too big, I can only take out so much from the orphan fund.”
It was much bigger than my box. The streets were dirtier and not many people were around like at my box, but it was much better.
“Th-thank you…”
The Hokage smiled, “My name is Sarutobi Hiruzen, but,” He leaned down, “ just for you, I’ll let you call me Jiji.”
I never thought I would have a family… I felt strange, having someone like that. I decided to just nod. The Hokage handed me a pair of keys.
“There’s some food inside there for you, be careful, and if you ever need to visit I’ll be in that building,” He pointed to a tall dome-shaped building that stood above all the other buildings, “I’ll come back at the end of the week to check on you.”
I nodded and he smiled at me before ruffling my hair. He took two steps backward and vanished in a spiral of leaves.
I felt my stomach growl and thought back to the last time I ate… I believe it was two or so days ago. The kitchen was nice but… I was too short. There was a box I was able to stand on to get to one of the drawers. It was full of something called Instant Ramen. The instructions said to add boiling water and wait.
I believe I remember watching the old matron boil water in something she called a kettle. She used to take me out of my box to make me food. She would make songs out of everything. She sang to me every night before she disappeared.
I found a kettle in a separate drawer. I put it on the stove and turned on the heat to maximum. I stood, waiting in front of the stove and heard the kettle whistle. I believe the matron took it off the heat when that happened. I grabbed the kettle but it was hot.
I looked at my hand. It was red, puffy, and charred, it hurt… I forgot the tea towel. The swelling went down and redness completely disappeared in minutes. Moving it didn’t hurt either.
From what I saw, the human body takes days to weeks to heal. But in any case, it was just further proof that I was a monster.
My stomach growled again. I poured the water and waited for three minutes. It was done! That was easy, for the most part.
I took a bite… it was alright I guess. Better than what I’ve ever had before. I took another bite, but it started tasting weird. I felt sick.
Halfway through the bowl, I felt my stomach turn painfully and ran to the bathroom.
The window in the bathroom showed it was already dark. The matron used to check that I was in bed 30 minutes after sunset or I wouldn’t get lunch the next day. But I always got up again afterward. The teachers would grade papers or read in the classroom under my box. I watched through the cracks and listened to their stories until I fell asleep.
My new room had a closet, with pajamas and a big warm bed with big blankets. I knew the other kids at the orphanage had them and I always wanted them too. I didn’t really imagine this day would actually ever happen.
The bed was soft, unlike the blankets the matron put on my floor. I could look out the window and watch the soft chirping on the nightingale and the swaying of the large oak. I could feel the wind on my face but I wasn’t scared and cold anymore.
It was warm
It was so warm.
My face felt hot and the pillow became damp. I don’t know why I’m crying. I’m happy, I’m so happy. But I can’t stop. I don’t want to stop.
---
Hiruzen watched the boy curl in on himself and weep. He was supposed to be doing work but as soon as he got back to his office he was so worried all he could do was watch Naruto through his glass globe.
There was a soft knock on his door and he straightened out and canceled the jutsu. A lady in doctor garb walked in slowly closing the door behind her.
“The report, sir.”
Hiruzen gestured with his hand for the patient folder.
Patient 3079AB: Naruto Uzumaki
Synopsis:
Multiple small contusions, mainly located around the upper arm and lower neck.
Large abrasions on hands, feet, and knees, possible infections.
Raptured tenketsu leading to swelling of chakra in the bloodstream, bones, and body tissue.
There was a collection of x-rays and marginal notes describing the full extent of all Naruto’s injuries listed on the next few pages.
“How did this happen?” Hiruzen asked while the document shook in his grip.
“It seems that because of malnutrition and physical neglect Naruto’s body needed more chakra to sustain and heal itself. My hypothesis is that the Kyuubi's chakra was pulled on and the sudden growth in chakra caused his tenketsu to rip.”
Hiruzen’s teeth clenched, “How is he alive? Tenketsu damage should lead to immediate death!”
“It’s not a common occurrence, so not too much is known on why the patient dies, but it is assumed that it is because the body starts to lack the amount of chakra it needs. The blood will naturally absorb the chakra so not enough of it goes to other vital organs. Patient 3079AB has naturally large chakra reserves and two different chakra sources to pull from, meaning, he is able to keep himself alive.”
“I thought chakra pouring into the bloodstream could poison blood cells.”
“That’s another theory but 3079AB’s chakra has adapted to the Kyuubi's chakra to oppose its corrosive effects. It has natural healing effects similar to medical ninjutsu.”
Hiruzen rubbed his forehead with his thumbs, “Anything else?”
“There is one more thing not mentioned-”
“-of course-”
“-The Kyuubi’s chakra has been forcefully merged with the patient's own regular chakra.”
“So all of the Kyuubi’s chakra has been expelled into Naruto?”
“Not exactly. The patient and Kyuubi still produce or absorb the chakra respectively. It’s more that instead of the earlier when 3079AB had to draw on Kyuubi’s chakra, that chakra is automatically entering the patient's reserves. It’s more of a third source of chakra all together.”
“What does this mean for Naruto?”
“I’m not sure. More tests would have to be done.”
“Oh god,” Hiruzen leaned back in his chair and sighed, “hasn’t he been through enough?”
“All I can say for sure at the moment is that 3079AB needs to have a healthy well-regulated diet. Patients who suffer from malnutrition cannot eat large amounts of food as their body will reject it, leading to possible starvation or other internal problems that will surely cause death.”
Hiruzen winced, thinking back to watching Naruto vomit his dinner into the toilet.
“Is that all?”
“For the moment, yes.”
“Dismissed,” Hiruzen waved his hand at the doctor before slumping down in frustration. God, he was too tired for this. With a flourish of a hand, an Anbu appeared in front of Hrizen's desk.
“Track down Jiraiya, Tsunade too if you can, but Jiraiya takes priority. Make sure they come back, it’s an emergency, tell them Naruto’s involved.”
The Anbu nodded before sinking into the ground. Hiruzen rubbed a tired hand over his face before returning to paperwork.
---
I imitated the chirping noise of the bird sitting on my windowsill. It was a brown and red finch. I didn't know what I was saying or what it said either, but if I copied the noises, the finch would stay and chirp back. I looked at the sun. It was just rising over the tall rooftops of Konoha. I chirped back to the bird once more and went into the bathroom. There was a mirror but I tried to avoid looking into it.
As I thought, my face was just as ugly as my hair and my hands. The scars were the worst part. I didn’t see anyone else with those. The matron was right.
All the clothes I had in my room were too big, but they were warm and nice. Softer than anything I had ever touched before. I went to the kitchen because I was still hungry, but remembering the ramen I didn’t want to try that again. The fridge was mostly empty except for a box of strawberries.
I ate the entire box before leaving my “home”. The streets were just like yesterday, but now less crowded. Instead of yelling at each other, people were setting things up, putting apples in boxes and boxes on stands. I made sure to watch diligently. Maybe soon I could even approach one. But at the moment no one else was doing that, so it must have been taboo.
Yet in a split second the streets were full again. It was overwhelming, but this was a good chance. I walked to the stand, it sold strawberries and I liked strawberries.
I stood and waited for the man behind the stand to speak to me. But he ignored me, even after three people had come and left. At another stall, a more crowded one, the people called to the vendor.
Maybe I was just too short. So I tried standing on my toes and waved, “Sir?”
The man looked over to me and his eyes met mine for a second, as if the reaction was intrinsic, but he looked as if he had just made a grave mistake. Instead, he turned quickly to fix the display as no other customers were there.
It was very illogical. But humans seemed to do that often.
They must have realized I was a monster. But the birds on my windowsill still chirp back to me if I chirp well enough. And I was by no means a bird. So I just needed to try a little harder and then no one would notice. I tried stretching my mouth into a “smile” like all the people walking by. I tried to flutter my eyes like the women did or snapping my fingers like the men did, but everyone remained silent. The only reaction I had gotten was a shove.
I didn’t know what I was doing wrong but my tactics weren't working. Smiling wasn't working. It seemed I would need to collect more information.
The street I was pushed onto was empty, so I decided to follow it. The further on I went the farther apart the houses were until the houses stopped altogether and I was so deep in the forest I couldn’t see the cliff with faces in it. The street had stopped a while ago, before the foliage grew so thick, so I didn’t know where to go anymore. I decided to follow the sound of the birds. Maybe they would know where some food is.
A nightingale flew out of the trees and landed on my shoulder, maybe it was the one I saw last night, I wasn’t sure though, they all looked the same to me. It chirped at me and I chirped back but I still didn’t know what it wanted. It got off of my shoulder and flew in front of me slightly, its wings beating quickly but it went slow enough for me to follow.
Through the trees was a small opening. There had to be at least 15 birds all chirping and pecking at trees. That was understandable, in the middle, the biggest tree hung heavy with ripe pink apples. Bushes littered the clearing, spotted in blueberries, white and red currants, and blackberries. The bird leading me chirped before flying off into the trees.
Most of the birds continued to focus on their feast except for one who flew and landed in my hair. It was unpleasant but I let it nestle there anyway. I was eating my fill until I saw a bird pecking at the ground. There was an almost dead bush, at the moment just a stick with three leaves attached, pushing out of the ground. I picked up the bird and placed it on a branch that still had plenty of berries left on it.
The bush wasn’t getting enough sunlight. I could keep it, and then maybe it would bear fruits too. I dug it up, which wasn’t too hard with its shallow roots but my hands were covered in dirt, grains of sand filling the insides of my nails.
I was thirsty so I decided to leave with my new plant and the bird still sleeping in my hair. The sound of rushing water brought me to a river. There was only one deer there. When I approached she lifted her head. I didn’t know what sound a deer makes. But she made a soft growling noise and stomped her hooves. I repeated the soft growl she made and the deer seemed pacified.
She took me to a new clearing where a bunch of other deer were sleeping. It was getting dark so I decided to do the same thing. The bird resting in my hair stayed and as the pain of its claws waned, the bird’s warmth became pleasant. The forest ground wasn’t very comfortable, definitely not like my new bed, but it was familiar. Kind of like my box. But now I had the deer. It was less lonely.
---
Naruto’s eyes cracked open slightly, but he wasn’t in the deer grove any longer. Now he was moving… No, someone was moving him. Naruto’s eyes snapped open, fully awake now. The person, male, carrying Naruto was one of those animal-mask-wearing people. Black spiky hair stuck out of the mask. Naruto felt a slight panic bubble in his chest but the logical part of his brain, arguing he wasn’t in any danger, won out and Naruto let his body relax a little. Naruto was resting on the man’s back, his plant squished in between their bodies. Naruto shuffled it around, trying to keep it from getting any more damaged. The man stopped suddenly and let Naruto slide off. They were at his apartment.
Naruto unlocked it and was about to thank the man, but he walked inside, bypassing Naruto and turning into the kitchen. Only then did Naruto notice the plastic bag full of groceries sitting on his table. The Anbu sorted through the bag before throwing ingredients onto a pan.
Naruto sat at his small dining room table and watched all of the movements carefully, trying to burn them into his memory. The man set down two plates, one with pan fried fish and the other with fresh cooked rice.
He gingerly took a bite, it was delicious, the best thing he had ever tasted. The Anbu stood and watched for a minute before turning to walk out of the front door. Naruto’s legs reacted before his mind could catch up, standing abruptly and tugging on the long plack cape of the Anbu.
Naruto got onto his knees and delicately bowed his body forward, palms pressed into the wooden floor and forehead touching his hands.
“Thank you,” Naruto whispered.
The Anbu shook his head and waved his hands frantically, “That was nothing, that was just basic human kindness.”
Naruto lifted his head, “Basic? Does that mean you should always do it?”
The Anbu squatted down to Naruto’s level, “Not cooking specifically, but yeah. You should always be kind and be polite.”
“How do I do that?” Naruto grasped the Anbu’s outstretched hand.
“Well for starters, that bow is only for extreme gestures,” The Anbu pulled Naruto and himself up, “How about I tell you tomorrow. Finish your food and go to bed for today.”
Naruto nodded his head, his long hair bouncing with his head. The man pet Naruto’s head and disappeared.
Naruto walked back to his small dining table. His only chair laid on the ground, toppled over. Naruto got out the biggest white mug he had, moved his plant inside, and placed it in front of a south-facing window. He followed the instructions of the Anbu and tucked in bed quickly after dinner. It was well past midnight but Naruto had nothing to wake up to anyway.