The Top Ten List
To recognize your limitations is to grow as an author.
Therefore, in order to address my own limitations, I have decided I needed a little guide.
Also known as...
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The Top Ten Ways that you know you are reading a Vortex Work.
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10. People start developing common sense...then lose it at a key moment.
Tagg: I thought I was doing pretty well so far?
Armstrong: Weren't you going to recommend a potential S class threat Parahuman be illegally outfitted with a tracking collar?
Tagg: Lies and slander from an unreliable source!
Armstrong *reviews the secret identity of Alexandria in the credits*...touche.
9. Everyone starts developing either a cold, or dry throat.
Kid Win: I'm sorry, HOW are you financing your replacement armor?
Gallant: I invested in coffee, tea, and honey futures. Allergies are kind of ridiculous right now.
8. Punching the other guy suddenly becomes the last option, not the first one.
Hookwolf: Yeah, what the fuck? I didn't throw down with that Shatterbird bitch, and played nice with fucking Grue! I nearly gutted Vista before and you wrote me like some sort of pansy-ass shit head!
7. The Waifu is weak with this one.
Amy: Yeah, none of that hidden, cinnamon roll shit for me. Please and fuck you.
Lisa: Ugh, you make me sound like a stupid teenager.
Purity: Well, if the shoe fits...
Lisa/Amy: Shut up, asshole!
6. Characters will sometimes take over their own dialogue.
Dragon: It's not Ascalon that has allowed me to deal with humanity's bullshit. It's cute cat videos! Tremble at the day that you stop posting those!
Narwhal: *whispers*: She's been like this for months. What is an Ascalon and where the hell can I get one?
5. Telephones ruin conversations.
Alexandria: Why are we having so many in-person meetings lately?
The Number Man: A mathematical model confirmed that remote communication tends to lower the intelligence of the parties involved.
4. Phrases will sometimes repeat...repeatedly.
Taylor: I have to go to that bad guy, then kill that bad guy, then neutralize THAT bad guy...
Dragon: ...and your mother was an English teacher? For fucks sake, buy a damn thesaurus!
3. Minor characters will be introduced...and then you will have to double check they are not original builds.
Tecton: Hey, I was in canon!
Rime: Me too!
Lady Amethyst: I was a guest star from another, better story!
Natasha Davidson: I'm not canon, (thank God), but I might as well have been.
2. You will see minor additions to the world building become major topics of debate.
Dragon: To be honest, I rather LIKE the phrase Electronic Intelligence. It feels more...me?
1. The narrative flow will never go down a straight line.
Taylor: Okay, this is a rubber bouncy ball covered in paint. I am going throw it extra hard in that large box with all the plot ideas. Any that get hit will be produced in the order in which contact was made.
Amy: Any sign that I get a chance at an actual relationship this round?
Taylor: Nope. The only thing I have confirmed is that we won't be hooking up.
Amy: Cool. No offense, I like legs for days as much as the next girl. But I'm honestly more of a boob fan.
Taylor: No loss on my end. We're both a little too high maintenance to work as a couple.
Amy: *rolls eyes* Yeah, yeah. Just throw the idiot ball already.