A Stupid Favor

Day Zero - Evening

Iruka drew Kakashi out into the living room and helped Kakashi settle down at the kotatsu.

"I'm going to go make some tea," Iruka said softly.  "I'll be back in a couple of minutes."

Kakashi nodded, unable to speak.

He waited until Iruka had padded, still barefoot, out into the kitchen.  Then, Kakashi curled his hands into fists atop his thighs as he willed his heart to slow down.

The kettle whistled all too soon, and within moments, Iruka returned.  Kakashi held his expression smooth and his breathing slow, ignoring the heart that still raced in his chest and the way his chest fought him for quick breaths.

He set two mugs down on the kotatsu with the soft sound of ceramic carefully touching wood.

Iruka sat down at the kotatsu, this time at the side of the kotatsu instead of across from Kakashi.

"I'm going to take your hand," Iruka said, and then his fingers slid over Kakashi's bare hand again.

He brought Kakashi's hand to the warm mug.  Then Iruka let go.

Kakashi ignored the part of himself that mourned the loss of Iruka's hand.

"So," Iruka said hesitantly.  "I, ah....  Would you still like me to read for you?"

Kakashi smiled.  "Please."

Iruka fussed with his clothing and then with the pages of the book.

He cleared his throat and shifted his weight.

He moved his legs a little, as though to get comfortable.

He fidgeted again.

Kakashi sipped his tea beneath his handkerchief – convenient!  He didn't even have to lower the handkerchief to drink tea – and found it hot and fragrant.

Iruka continued to fidget.

Finally, he cleared his throat again.

"'To me, love is life'," Iruka finally began hesitantly.  "'Love is everything, you see'."  He paused.  "'The tumultuous journey of love creates all things.  This earth, the sky, the forests, the sea, and the stars are all borne of love.  And so, too, has my journey been'."

Kakashi felt a small smile curve at the corners of his lips.  He had never heard anyone read Icha Icha aloud, and it blossomed in Iruka's melodious voice.

"'I am a simple fellow, with simple wants and needs.  All I truly need to be happy are a cup of good sake, a full belly, a soft place to lay my head at night, and the love of my beloved Tasuki¹.

"'The lattermost was the most hard won of wondrous things.  For my beloved Tasuki's love is the most tempestuous of tsunami and the most fiery of blazes.  Yet it is also the most majestic of wild seas, the sweetest of nectar, and the finest of silk.  My beloved Tasuki is an untameable storm, and I, who am but a humble man, laid down my very life to receive her love.

"'Let me tell you the tale'."

Iruka paused to turn the page.  He took a sip of his tea, set the mug back down, and began to read again.

"'Chapter one.  Enrai² was a precocious child, bright and curious as a puppy.  Even at the tender age of ten years old, he already grew strong and bore the red markings of a warrior clan on his back, like his father, and his father before him.

"'But Enrai had a poet's heart, and each night after he trained and sparred, he went to the edge of the still lake and sighed with a yearning he could not describe.'

"Kakashi-san," Iruka interrupted himself slowly, "this is....  I don't understand."

"What do you mean?" Kakashi asked, puzzled.  "It's the introduction of the main character."

"No, I understand that," Iruka said quickly.  "I just don't understand....  I thought– I mean–"

"That Icha Icha is erotica?" Kakashi provided with a wry smile.

"Ah... yes," Iruka admitted embarrassedly.

"It is," Kakashi assured him.  "Flip to page twenty-three."

He heard the riffling of pages, and then silence as Iruka presumably read to himself.

"Oh," Iruka finally squeaked.  "I see.  Wait," he suddenly yelled, smashing his palms down on the kotatsu, making Kakashi and the mugs of tea jump, "you knew which page this scene was on?!"

Kakashi laughed guiltily, scratching the back of his head.  "It's rather memorable?" he asked, trying nervously to sound as innocent as possible.

"And you read this around children?!" Iruka roared.  "I am going to smack you upside the head!"

Kakashi winced but let Iruka smack him upside the head.

He ruefully rubbed the spot where Iruka had smacked him.  It had been thoughtful of Iruka to warn him, Kakashi acknowledged to himself amusedly.  He hid his smile, though.  He didn't want to get smacked again.  Instead, he tried to look appropriately remorseful.

"The beginning is rather nice, though," Iruka grumbled under his breath.  "It seemed... romantic."

Kakashi smiled.  "The whole book is romantic."

Iruka made a discontented, disbelieving noise.

"It is," Kakashi insisted in the mildest tone he could.  "It's a love story."

"I see that now," Iruka said, still obviously grumpy.  "Still."

Kakashi shrugged and took a sip of his tea.  "Are you going to read more?"

"...Maybe later," Iruka mumbled.  "I'm not sure I can read material that explicit aloud."

Kakashi suppressed a grin.  "I understand," he admitted.  "I'm not sure I could."

"Really?" Iruka asked, his discontentment melting into curiosity.  "But you read it all the time.  In public."

"Not out loud," Kakashi pointed out.  "And if anybody's reading my mind while I'm reading Icha Icha, they deserve what they get."

Iruka snorted and choked on his tea.  He coughed, still snickering.

Kakashi grinned.  It made him inexplicably happy to have made Iruka laugh, even if Iruka had choked on his tea in the process.

"Does it help to have your eyes closed?" Iruka suddenly asked.  "You've had them both closed since earlier."

Kakashi shrugged.  "It doesn't seem to make the slightest difference.  I just didn't want to unnerve you."

"O– oh," Iruka said softly.  "It doesn't bother me for you to have your eyes open, if that feels more natural for you."

Kakashi smiled.  "You haven't seen the Sharingan, have you?"

"No," Iruka admitted.  "I've seen photographs, of course, but–"

Iruka sucked in a sharp breath through his nose as Kakashi opened his eyes and turned his face towards the teacher.

Kakashi let his eyes fall closed again.  "I've heard it's rather uncanny," he said, crushing the disappointment and unexpected pain at Iruka's response.  He tipped his face down and contemplated the warm mug of tea between his palms.

"I wouldn't know about that," Iruka responded shyly.  "It's just strange that your eyes weren't focused on me.  It was like you were looking past me.  I'd noticed it before, but it's a lot more noticeable when you have both eyes open."

"That's all?" Kakashi asked, amused in his disbelief.

"Well...."  Iruka hesitated.  "You have a bit of a film over your eyes," he finally admitted.  "You don't usually have it over your uncovered eye.  That's more strange than anything, I think.  It looks... not like you."

Kakashi turned his face up in surprise, his eyes opening purely out of habit.  "I don't usually have a film over either of my eyes," he said, concealing his surprise with blandness.  "The Sharingan is usually blood red."

"Hmm.  Or strawberry red," Iruka suggested, and Kakashi could hear he was smiling again.  "Or rose red.  Or ruby red.  Why do you describe it as blood red?"

"I–"  Kakashi stopped.  Because everyone else always had.  Because it frightened friends and foes alike.  Because inevitably, blood poured when he opened that eye.  "It's a warrior's eye.  It's made for spilling blood."

"Is it?" Iruka wondered softly, almost as if he was speaking to himself.  "Or is it made for imprinting beauty on the soul?  For creating an eternity of precious memories?  For sharing love?"

Kakashi would have stared if he could have.  Instead, he went totally still, his whole focus narrowing to a pinpoint on Iruka.

"Ah, sorry, sorry!" Iruka yelped with an awkward laugh.  "It's just something I used to think about, from time to time.  When I was working with the Uchiha clan to understand how to teach–"  He cut himself off sharply, but Kakashi heard the name Iruka didn't say.

There was a pang in Kakashi's heart.  He suddenly recalled, unbidden, a Sharingan-perfect memory of Sasuke on that mission to the Land of Waves as they fought Zabuza for the first time.  He had been so young and small, and yet, he had been incredibly fierce.  Even from the water prison, with the ripples interrupting Kakashi's vision, Kakashi had been able to see Sasuke's dark eyes blazing with the determination to protect his teammates and Kakashi himself.

"Did you ever talk with any of them about it?" Kakashi asked softly.

"I– yes, a little," Iruka said, also quiet.  "To Shisui-san, and to Sasuke's parents.  And...."  He hesitated.  "To Itachi.  Sasuke's parents seemed to find the concept... well, 'contemptible' might be a little strong, but distasteful, anyway."

Kakashi nodded.  "They were warriors from a powerful clan," he observed.  "They, like the rest of the clan, were concerned with protection of the clan.  I can't imagine love was something they valued a great deal."

"Shisui-san seemed to," Iruka said doubtfully.  "And, honestly, so did Itachi.  I was... stunned when...."

Iruka lapsed into silence.

Kakashi sighed into the silence.  "So was I."

"Well, enough sad talk," Iruka said brusquely.  "In any case, no, neither of your eyes bother me.  They're both lovely."

Iruka yelped at his own words, and Kakashi felt his face go hot.

"Sorry, I didn't mean– I mean, your eyes aren't lovely!  I mean, yes– no– they're very nice– I mean, I don't mean– they're very... eyes," Iruka spluttered.

Kakashi felt torn between embarrassment and a strange sense of happiness welling up inside of him.

Lovely.  Iruka thought his eyes were lovely.

"Thank you," he said with a small smile.  He let himself open his eyes again.  It was certainly easier to let himself have them open.

"Why do you always keep it covered?" Iruka asked hesitantly.  "Oh– I don't mean to pry."

"I can't turn the Sharingan off," Kakashi explained.  He wondered, briefly, why he was answering Iruka's question.  He normally kept these sorts of things to himself, knowing that sharing something about his Sharingan risked endangering him against enemies.

But he felt safe here.  He felt safe telling Iruka.

"It consumes a pretty large amount of chakra," Kakashi continued.  "It helps to keep it closed, and it's easier to keep it closed when it's covered."

"I'd kind of wondered about that," Iruka mused.  "You can't turn it off at all?"

"Not unless my chakra is bound," Kakashi said.  "It's still consuming chakra, even now, but it's about the same amount as when it's covered."

He felt something faintly warm by his face, and he blinked.

"May I touch your face?" Iruka whispered.

Kakashi swallowed.  He hadn't expected that, and half of him wanted to run screaming.  The other half of him nodded his head.

He twitched slightly as Iruka's warm fingertips feathered on the scar down Kakashi's face.  It was the warmth of Iruka's fingers that he had felt faintly by his face.

"Oh," Iruka breathed.  "I didn't mean– Did I hurt you?  Why are you crying?"

Kakashi blinked, startled.  And then he chuckled softly despite himself.  "Obito – my teammate who gave me the eye – was a bit of a crybaby," he whispered with fond pain.

He felt Iruka's thumb brush at the tears, smearing them on Kakashi's cheekbone.

And then he felt the soft warmth of a breath, just before Iruka brushed the lightest kiss on his brow.

Kakashi's heart jumped.  He thought it might burst from his chest.

And then, suddenly and almost violently, he felt Iruka yank himself back and fall backwards onto the floor.

"Sorry!" Iruka yelped.  "Oh, god, I'm sorry, I don't know what I was thinking!  I just– you know, sometimes students– well, if they get a cut on their hand from kunai practice, I know it's stupid, but sometimes I kiss it better for them because– I mean– it's just, my mum used to do that for me, and– god, I'm sorry, I must sound like an idiot or a crazy person."

Iruka's apology somehow hurt, oddly enough.  As if the kiss had been given without thought and without value.

Kakashi rubbed the smeared tears away with the back of one hand and smiled over the handkerchief in Iruka's direction.  He pitched his voice low to keep it steady.  "It's quite alright," he said mildly.  "Obito would have appreciated the gesture, I think."

"I'm sorry," Iruka whispered again.

"Don't be," Kakashi said, waving away Iruka's apology.  "You must be quite tired.  I've kept you awake too late.  I apologize, sensei."

"Oh.  I....  Right.  Yes.  Would you like me to help you back to the bedroom now, then?"

Unwillingly, Kakashi found himself thinking about all the things he wanted that involved Iruka and the bedroom, most of which would have been right at home between the pages of an Icha Icha book.  He shoved the thoughts aside unfeelingly and drank the last of his tea to hide any tiny reaction to the thoughts he might have had.

He set the mug back down on the table.  "I'm sorry I can't help tidy.  But yes, I think that may be best."

"Don't worry about it, Kakashi-san," Iruka said anxiously, still clearly worried about the kiss he had placed on Kakashi's brow.  "You're my guest."

"Only after I essentially invited myself into your life and your space," Kakashi said, smiling lopsidedly.  "I'm more grateful than you know."

Iruka hesitated for a moment.

"Well," he finally said.  He climbed up to his feet, and Kakashi followed the motion.  "Here, I'll– I'll take your elbow."

"I admit I prefer being led... not by the elbow," Kakashi said, his own traitorous mouth stumbling and unwilling to say that he'd preferred being led by the hand.  "You were right.  I have greater control when...."

Almost defiantly, he stuck out a hand in Iruka's direction.

Timidly, Iruka slipped his fingers into Kakashi's palm once more.

Warmth struck Kakashi again.  His fingers twitched with a desire to wrap more tightly around Iruka's hand: to hang on and not let go.

He really should have just stayed at the hospital.