Happy Birthdays!
DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything from the Naruto universe.
Thinking (+ flashbacks, “Naruto speaking to Kurama in her mindscape,” etc.)
Emphasis
Bijuu, etc. speaking
Bijuu, etc. thinking
“I’m so excited,” Kushina said to her family. They were all here (Karin-chan was being guarded out in the hallway) - everyone but Nagato, whom Kushina hadn’t yet met although they had been corresponding with letters. “Let’s get this show on the road!”
Naruto nodded hesitantly while clutching the table her mother would deliver her new sister or brother on. Tsunade asked her mother some questions and messed around with something under the privacy curtain-thing that was draped over half her mother’s extended belly, down past her knees.
“Come here, Naru-chan,” Tsunade said. Naruto winced, an incredibly horrified look on her face as she reluctantly forced her feet to move - very slowly - to the scary end of the table. “I want you to see this!”
“It’s alright, Naruto,” her father said reassuringly. He was holding her mother’s hand; his other hand was on her belly where her old seal had begun to pulse.
“Is this really going to be okay?” she asked the big orange guy in her gut.
“Your horrid mother is fine, kit.”
Naruto nodded once at her father: believing him and Kurama. Not about the “horrid” thing of course but she understood why Kurama felt that way about her Kaa-chan. She was also keeping her senses on high alert for intruders since her family was attacked when she was born.
- Then Tsunade-oba sliced into her mother, making Naru gasp even though she’d been told that this is how a cesarean worked. The blonde realized that she was sweating and shaking but couldn’t calm her racing heart.
Before Naru realized what was really happening, Tsunade REACHED INTO THE LONG CUT - INTO KAA-CHAN'S BELLY - and pulled the baby out: her Kaa-chan now had a stomach flap! She couldn’t breathe! Ame-oba patted her shoulder and began telling her to do that as her parents were crying over their perfect little red-haired baby. It took a bit - “You’re all way too fucking relaxed about this,” Naru scolded shakily before going back to sucking in air - and then the baby began crying softly.
It’s a girl.
The next thing the blonde saw was the ceiling.
.
Naruto sat up fast, wincing - and realized that she was in a hospital bed. Kakashi had grasped her arm and had his other wrapped protectively around her waist.
“Are you okay?”
Naruto grimaced and rubbed the back of her head. “Oh, no,” she mumbled, realizing that she’d clocked out after seeing that… mess. Beautiful mess? No, not really: birth might be amazing but it wasn’t particularly… lovely or something she wanted to be a part of. She looked up and blinked at him a few times. “You feel strong.”
Kakashi chuckled in a stupidly smooth and attractive way as Naru’s eyes nearly popped out of her head and she covered her mouth. “Sorry. Head injury, ya know.”
He hummed playfully. “I suppose they’re pretty strong,” he said, pretending to examine his uncovered arms before giving her a break. “So. Congrats on the baby sister.”
“Oh my gosh,” Naru lightly laughed. “I am such a goob. Passing out at seeing a birth: my little sister’s birth, no less.” That awful, awful jealous being inside of her began to raise its ugly head again. Swallowing it down, she forced herself to smile up at her friend. “Is everyone okay? I’m so sorry…”
“Everyone’s fine. I just… thought you might like to have someone here when you woke up.” He scratched the back of his head, feeling awkward.
“That’s really nice of you, Kakashi-kun,” she said truthfully - although she guessed he might be guarding her, too. “How long have I been here?!”
“A little over an hour.”
Naruto scoffed as she felt her cheeks heat up even more. “I haven’t slept lately because I’ve been so excited, ya know.” She jumped out of bed and held out her hand. “Let’s go see her!” Naru literally dragged him out of the room she’d been put in and soon found the rest of her family in a nearby one that was heavily guarded. Kakashi was the one to let go of her hand, she realized (embarrassingly enough,) once in the room with her family.
Tou-san didn’t even notice. Normally he would’ve freaked out about something like that: with Tou-san’s overprotective feelings about guys and everything.
Hmm. Maybe all of those overprotective feelings will transfer to the baby now. Naruto wasn’t sure if she liked that idea or not. Her father could be a little… crazy when it came to boys, though. She really could use a little less of that considering how many men she worked with.
Karin was sitting on the bed next to her mother, squinting her eyes as she observed the baby as she was being fed. Naruto felt like she was interrupting something not meant for her to be a part of but Kakashi pushed her forward, clearing his throat as he did so.
“Naruto,” both of her parents breathed in surprise, seeming to finally see her there - although they’d looked up at her for a second when she and Kakashi had come in. “Are you okay?” her Kaa-chan asked.
“Yeah,” the blonde teen whispered, running her hand across the back of her head where a small lump still lingered. She knew it would heal quickly enough. Considering how quickly she always healed, she must have really smacked into the floor hard! “I’m sorry about that. I shoulda been here to help!”
“Don’t worry,” Kushina smiled, “everything’s fine; better than fine, ‘ttebane!” Before her firstborn could argue, Kushina tiredly - but blissfully - explained that they hadn’t needed her there and more which Naruto didn’t really hear.
“Ah,” Naru breathed regretfully, knowing that was true - she really was NOT needed here - and reminding herself that her Kaa-chan was tired and hadn’t meant to hurt her feelings. Stop being so sensitive, Naruto!
She waited until the baby was being burped before hesitantly approaching her to have a better look. “Hi there, Aomi-chan. You sure are pretty.” Baby Aomi really was beautiful and looked perfect (Naruto began counting fingers and toes from a short distance just to make sure.) Her baby sister was kinda pale - like her Mom; our Mom - and had her beautiful red hair: it popped up in a little swirl. Naruto slowly reached out to brush her fingertips against it. “So soft!”
Oh. She doesn’t have whisker marks. Why that hurt was beyond Naru at that moment. She did have bright blue eyes, though!
“Your hair was just like that, hime,” Minato said dreamily. Naruto’s birthday turned into a horrific nightmare but he did remember seeing that little tuft of blonde hair, those whisker-like marks, and finally his own blue eyes blinking up at him before she was grabbed away from him. Obito-kun put explosive seals on my baby. He was immediately up and cradling Naruto. Minato was glad that she didn’t shirk away: teenagers… It took him a while to speak. “Thank you for watching Naruto, Kakashi-kun.”
Thanks for watching her when we weren’t there for her, even outside of this lifetime. His student nodded, looking embarrassed even as he leaned - looking as lazy as ever - against the wall.
To Minato, the future seemed brighter. Ever since Naruto’s origins were revealed to him, he spent nearly all of his waking hours trying to prevent her past from repeating itself again. Not only were he and Kushina alive but now they had a second child. A baby! He squeezed his firstborn, picking her up off the floor, as he began to cry.
“You damn sissy crybaby,” Kushina cursed as she began to cry, too. Only she wailed when she cried: thus upsetting the baby.
“No cursing in front of the baby, ‘ttebane,” Karin-chan demanded, shaking her finger at her sobbing aunt.
.
A few months later, Naruto was THRILLED to see her godfather finally show up. She really did love-love-love her new little sister but she could be very loud and stinky. And relatively boring right now. “Ero-sennin,” Naru cried out, jumping on the huge man like an overgrown monkey, “get me outta here!”
Jiraiya laughed brightly. “I thought you were on guard duty. And stop calling me that!”
“I kinda am,” Naruto said, her nose wrinkling up as she jumped down. She wasn’t sure whether she was actually considered to be on duty at the moment since Raido-kun was on the roof. “Tou-san has me and either Kakashi-kun, Raido-kun, or Iwashi-kun with Kaa-chan and the baby 24/7. It’s a drag.”
Jiraiya barked out another laugh as he headed upstairs like he owned their place. “You’ve been spending too much time with your sensei.”
Naruto shrugged behind him: that wasn’t her fault! Before the baby was born Shikaku-sensei had been running her ragged with all kinds of bullshit. If Jiraiya-SHISHOU had been here she could’ve been training more and learning more jutsus. But no: paperwork and escorting foreigners and nobles around so that Shikaku could avoid them had become her life.
Minutes later, Jiraiya was holding the family’s newest addition in his gigantic arms. Naruto rubbed her own as she watched him masterfully give her mother a hard time while cooing at the baby. Naru couldn’t help but wonder if he’d ever held her when she was a baby.
She shook her head and sighed, wondering when she would finally be 100% past this stuff. I suck!
Karin-chan ran into the room (and house) with little red glasses on, surprising everyone. “Lookie! I can see better!” Her nose wrinkled up as she looked up at her older cousin: an expression that was normally caused by the smell of dirty diapers. “You got whiskers.”
Naruto slumped, pouting terribly. “You didn’t know?”
“No,” Karin exclaimed excitedly. She spun around the room like a top, describing all of the new things she could clearly see and how “stunning” she was with her new glasses on.
“That kid’s a trip,” Naruto commented, wondering how Karin would get along with Shikamaru. They were polar opposites. Karin had had playdates with Ino-chan before (those two liked each other well enough although which one was bossier or LOUDER was still up for debate) and had even had one playdate with Hinata-hime!
In her old Konoha, the shy Hyuuga girl had always been kind to Naruto when she got up the nerve to talk to me. Naruto had gotten so excited at finally seeing a chibified, completely adorable, and dolled-up Hinata-chan that she’d picked Hinata up and squealed, squeezing her, which led to her being “gentle-fisted” right out of the compound.
“Ero-sennin,” Naruto began after Karin finally took a breath, “do you think you can fill in for me tonight?”
Kushina glared at her for a second before gasping and doing a 180, smiling brighter than the sun. “Oh, that’s right! Today’s Kakashi-kun’s birthday, ‘ttebane. Yeah: he can do it,” she said, then gave the now quietly bitching man another glare. “It’s not like it’s a real job!”
Naruto recited something she’d, by this point, said to her mother over a hundred times as if it were a riot act. “Hokage-sama and his family - which includes our Uzumaki sisters - are vital village assets that will be protected at all times.”
Kushina pouted at her - the way she always did. “Then doesn’t that mean you should be guarded, 24/7?”
Naruto knew that she was guarded or at least watched by ANBU, just not in her sealed-tight home anymore when she was awake. Aside from her father, she was the only one in their family who could currently fight. “You want me to be guarded 24/7?”
“No,” Kushina admitted, aggravated with Naruto for twisting her words and rationale. “I’m trying to do you a favor here, brat!”
“Oh yeah,” Naruto smiled, realizing that. She turned back to Jiraiya. “Gai-kun’s throwing Kakashi-kun a surprise birthday party tonight but I thought I’d have to wait to go until Tou-san got back from work.”
Jiraiya hummed, looking thoughtful. “What’s the brat going to be? 18?” Naruto nodded, reaching down for Karin who wanted to be picked up. “I remember holding him when he was first born… Sakumo was so damn proud; it was the only time I saw him cry.”
“You were friends?” Naruto asked, always eager to learn a little more about the White Fang. He was a legend, and well… He was Kakashi-kun’s dad. Naruto didn’t understand how he could leave Kakashi the way that he had when he was said to be so honorable. Her father had told her that he committed suicide as a way to protect Kakashi from what he (and so many in the village) considered “his shame” but Naruto simply didn’t get it. How could a parent leave their child like that?
But that’s what happened to me, isn’t it?
Until it didn’t. She wished that Kakashi had his father back, too…
“The best of friends,” Jiraiya declared before reluctantly returning Aomi to her mother. It didn’t feel right to be rewarded with holding a sweet little baby when thinking about Sakumo. Although Jiraiya had made sure to steer Kakashi into attentive hands - Minato’s hands - he COULD have taken the little boy out on the road with him. It just seemed too dangerous at the time; we were at war.
Jiraiya could be honest with himself, though: it had been hard to look at Kakashi-kun back then because he looked so much like his deceased father. He had adored Sakumo, perhaps more than he should have. Briefly, he wondered if that was why he hadn’t taken his goddaughter with him when - in Naruto’s past - she’d lost her parents.
Naruto-chan looked SO much like her parents. Once again, even the idea of losing the kids he considered His made him feel sick. Like his Genin team, the Uzumaki-Namikazes were his family!
“ANYWAYS,” Jiraiya pronounced, refusing to think about such miserable things anymore, “who’s Aomi-brat’s godparents? –I don’t want to get saddled with that crap again.” He opened his mouth wide and gave Naruto a saucy wink, letting her know that he was just kidding around.
“You damn pervert,” Naruto and Kushina groused at the same time.
“No cursing,” Karin demanded again. She was so cute when not being a little terror.
Jiraiya snickered. I was SORTA kidding around! His goddaughter and apprentice, Naruto, was a time-traveling handful. With that thought in mind, Jiraiya had suggested to his student that Minato and Kushina be more “politically savvy” regarding godparent duties early on in Kushina’s pregnancy. He felt he had enough on his plate with Naruto to (try to) refuse the honor if it were hoisted on him.
“Hana and that damn Fugaku,” Kushina darkly replied to his question, giving Naruto a dirty look for snickering at her.
“A Hyuuga and an Uchiha?! They must love that!” Jiraiya thought it amazing that the two would agree to such a thing, no matter that they were classmates once upon a time.
Naruto was thinking along the same lines. Hinata’s mom, Hana-sama, was the sweetest person ever (and was about to have a baby) but Uchiha Fugaku had a forest up his butt. It didn’t matter anyway:
1. Naruto wasn’t going to let anything happen to her parents. They were going to live forever, as far as she was concerned. I’ll make sure they live longer than me this time…
2. And IF, Kami forbid, anything ever DID happen to her parents, SHE would be the one taking care of Aomi-chan.
“Kaa-chan punched Fugaku-sama in the nose!”
Jiraiya threw his head back and laughed, knowing how many times as a child Kushina had pounded Fugaku when she found out that her best friend, Mikoto, had an arranged marriage with the Uchiha heir contracted in their future. Not that Fugaku could help that, either. …Then they fell in love - which made Kushina repeatedly surprise and prank him as a warning to never hurt Mikoto. Kushina was also very protective of those she considered Hers. “What happened this time?”
Naruto gleefully told the story of their family going to the Uchiha’s giant manor to formally ask the Uchiha Head to be future-Aomi-chan’s godfather. A very surprised Fugaku had gotten emotional, accidentally activating his Sharingan - and making her mother reflexively punch him in the face. Her father had to hold her mom back as Kurama cheered Kushina on from inside of her. “...It was like dinner and a show!”
“After that, it’s even more surprising that he agreed to do it,” Jiraiya grinned, thinking out loud.
“Miko-chan said if he said no, she’d never have sex with him again,” Kushina recounted happily.
Naruto internally gagged, remembering that all too well. How someone as beautiful and vivacious as Mikoto-sama - HER godmother (not to mention bratty-little-Sasuke’s mother,) weirdly enough - could have sex with someone like Fugaku was beyond her.
Refusing to think about such awful things anymore, Naruto checked the time. “I’m not sure what to get Kakashi…”
Later that afternoon, her friends came over to finally meet baby Aomi. Shizune and Kurenai were in girlified-baby-heaven, easily passing Aomi back and forth, which scared the wits out of her very protective big sister. Anko, on the other hand, stayed back and only offered in theory to shake the baby’s hand - something they all thought hilarious. Aomi-chan chose that moment to put out her chubby little hand, though, almost like she understood her.
Anko was surprised, too. She didn’t like children and babies were just ultra-brats, as far as she was concerned. Plus the baby had red hair which Orochimaru-shishou insisted was always associated with witchcraft. She made sure Kushina-sama (the Head Witch, according to her master) couldn’t see and gave the child her middle finger to grasp (thus flipping her off) and ignored her friends’ outraged protests. “Nice to meet you, devil-child,” she whispered with an insanely gleeful grin.
“WHAA!”
“Oh, Kami! Let’s get outta here!” They all rushed after Anko, upstairs, to get dressed for the party, leaving the balling newborn to her mother and the other adults in the house.
The kunoichis silently vowed to jump Anko as soon as the snake-summoner thought she was safe in retaliation. Naruto turned and clocked her friend as soon as they were in her room, unable to stand it anymore.
No one messes with my little sister!
Only a few hours later, the four girls stood outside Gai’s apartment, all dressed up and holding gifts. Naruto also brought a bamboo plant for Gai since she’d never been to his place before. It was green and youthful, so there ya go. “Isn’t he supposed to be here?”
Kurenai nodded. “We’re actually late.”
“It will be difficult to get Kakashi-kun to come,” Shizune knew. She really had doubts about this whole thing. Oh well. They were dressed for success and since Hokage-sama was busy with his newborn daughter, he might not follow/ haunt them out on the town tonight as he’d done almost every time they were able to get together.
“Shoulda thought of that earlier,” Anko said in agreement. Kakashi had moved three times to get away from Gai and from what she’d heard, mainly stayed in the ANBU barracks now. She was only there to get dirt on the nonsense her agemates would get into tonight. –In some ways, it was what she lived for!
Little did Anko know that she would be the talk of the town the next day!
Or one of the topics of gossip...
Suddenly a group of boys teleported from out of nowhere with a bound and gagged birthday boy firmly in the Hokage’s grasp. “Happy Birthday, brat,” Minato viciously grinned, tossing his student toward the disturbingly green flash streaking their way. Once secure in Gai’s arms, the look Kakashi was giving everyone with his one visible eye would have melted stone.
“Rival! You made it!” Everyone laughed as Kakashi struggled against the wires holding him. He desperately tried to bite Gai through his gag and mask. His “friends” didn’t let him go until he was secured in Gai’s flat. Naruto even put a few seals down to keep him there for a while. Kakashi then went limp on the tatami mat, which was also very funny.
Gai had really gone all out! He had a small two-bedroom apartment but it was full of green and silver balloons, streamers, and a banner with Kakashi’s name on it… There was a cake that Naruto knew her mother and aunt made last night, a huge TRASH CAN full of punch, and a bunch of games. She cracked up at seeing a kid’s Pin The Tail on the Donkey game that had been placed over a large target that was on the wall.
They were ninjas for heaven’s sake! It was also a little odd that Gai apparently did target practice in his living room. He did have a nice stereo, though, and giant speakers. When everyone sat down, Naruto felt bad because Kakashi looked SO overwhelmed and nervous. She always thought of him as a solitary wolf; kind and protective but maybe felt lonely. She wasn’t the only one who noticed his discomfort, fortunately.
“Here,” a black-eyed (thanks to Naruto’s punch) Anko said, slugging her gift into his chest. Kakashi slouched and mumbled a “thank you” at her and began unwrapping the newspaper she’d wrapped his gift in. “It’s a coffee mug,” she chirped.
“Thanks.”
“You’re supposed to let him see that for himself, Anko-chan!”
Kakashi pulled the white coffee cup out of the box it was in. He turned it around in his hand and tried to give Anko a dirty look although it was amusing. And fitting, he thought. Across the cup in bold print was the word “ASSHOLE.” Everyone laughed as another gift was shoved his way. “I don’t know what to say, guys,” Kakashi admitted in a quiet voice.
“Don’t say anything! Just keep opening presents so we can get to the games,” Asuma grinned. All of the girls looked at the Pin the Tail on the Donkey game and winced. Gai and Aoba were busy handing out punch. –And they really kept it coming, all night long!
Naruto was surprised (but glad) that it wasn’t spiked; most of them were teenagers, still. More and more people continued stuffing themselves into the little apartment - most of whom she’d at least met - so she didn’t see Asuma begin to sneak increasing amounts of his father’s (stolen and best) sake into the punch at regular intervals.
Most of the things Kakashi opened were gag gifts. He now had whoopie cushions, some ridiculous slippers, a canteen and a few jars that said absolutely filthy things on them that embarrassed him to death, and a bottle of sake. A new set of fancy kunais and shurikens that Naruto thought were from her parents appeared and then Kakashi thanked Naruto for a set of ramen bowls.
“Oh no. Those are from Aomi-chan!”
Kakashi grinned at the blonde from behind his mask: she’s so cute. “I’ll have to thank her, then.” Naruto’s face lit up in a pretty blush and Kakashi glared at a few of the guys who began snickering at them. The next present was from Ebisu and… “Is this a tail?”
“It’s pretty,” Kurenai said. Anko would’ve been rolling on the floor, laughing her ass off, had there been enough room - while Shizune looked like she might pass out. The next thing they knew, Kakashi was on top of Ebisu and choking him.
Naruto gasped when she heard what had happened - or, what had caused the commotion. Apparently, the bushy wolf tail was a butt plug. One of the uppity Uchiha girls that worked at the hospital left because she was so “scandalized” but Gai quickly took control of the situation, pulling out an empty sake bottle and instructing everyone to sit in a circle. Gai spun the bottle in the center of their circle and Naruto wondered how to play. A certain energy or vibe of the party had changed - and then so did the music - but Naru just chucked it up to the little fight that broke out.
Wow! This punch is really good!
- But then Asuma was “forced to kiss” Kurenai and Naruto began freaking out.
“It was a gag, man,” Ebisu was desperately whispering to the Copy Nin, rubbing his sore neck.
Kakashi only had eyes for the game, though. He was competitive, and no one was kissing Naru-chan but him! A few subtle wind jutsus to the slowing bottle ensured that.
Naruto, still panicking, felt that Karma was finally coming to get her. Not only did she have a wonderful life now, but she worried that her apparent perversions would be shown to the world once she kissed a boy again. Kurenai had simply given Asuma a sweet kiss: not too long, not too short: it almost seemed like a promise. EVERYONE knew that they really liked each other.
But Naruto? Naruto had lost control of herself that one time with Kakashi and OhGodOhGodOhGod! The present! What was I thinking?! She jumped up and grabbed it before going to hide and hyperventilate in the bathroom.
Asuma pursed his lips and clapped the birthday boy on the back. “Tough luck, man.” The bottle Kakashi had spun was definitely landing on the spot Naruto had just vacated.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Kakashi grumbled as he watched the blonde get away.
Uchiha Sayeko shoved herself into that spot as the bottle stopped. “Or maybe not such bad luck,” Asuma said, grinning. Sayeko was hot! Kakashi was already following Naruto, though. “Sorry, Sayeko-chan.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Asuma-kun!”
Naruto was patting water that kept evaporating from her fiery-red cheeks when someone - no, it’s definitely Kakashi: EEEK! - knocked on the door. She peeked out and apologized for God only knows what but Kakashi gently pushed her back inside. She gulped and nearly slid into the walk-in shower as she tried to give him space.
At least Gai has a really nice, clean bathroom. Shikaku-sensei had complained about boys being slobs and Karma getting him for some reason.
“I’ll get out of here for you…”
“I wanted to check on you,” Kakashi urged before grinning behind his mask as he picked up the shiny orange-wrapped present. “Is this for me? From you?” Naruto squeaked, making him laugh. He began opening it as she sputtered.
“I’m trying not to be a pervert although you’ll never know it from that! See, I know you’ll like it but I shoulda really thought about this more and it wasn’t until I saw that buttplug that I realized - well, I didn’t KNOW it was a buttplug…”
“I didn’t at first, either,” Kakashi said darkly before smiling at his new gift. “Icha-Icha Paradise? This is Jiraiya-sama’s new book.” He opened the cover: it was signed! “Thank you, Naru-chan.” He waited for her to calm down and for her cheeks to stand down; he was grateful that he didn’t blush like that. –Or he hoped he didn’t, although blushing was beautiful on Naruto “It’s not what I wanted, though.”
“I’m sorry,” Naru said, still wound up. Her eyes began to water for reasons she couldn’t guess at the moment but she smiled at him, anyway. “What did you want for your birthday? –I would’ve asked before but we were trying to surprise you this year.”
“Yeah, I don’t care for surprises much,” Kakashi admitted, taking a bold step forward. “What I wanted - what I want… is a kiss.” Gathering even more courage, he pinched the edge of his mask. “May I?” Naruto’s pretty eyes were popping out of her head. “You’re the only one allowed to see.”
Naruto quickly nodded: she was finally gonna see what was under that mask! “Oh my gosh,” she began to say. Kakashi was crazy-handsome! And he was… kissing her?! Her?!
When she let out a moan, Kakashi nearly lost control with her again. “What is it about you, Naru-chan?” he whispered into her lips. He growled as her nails grazed his scalp, holding her tighter as he devoured her mouth, exploring every part of it. “Oh Kami: the way you smell…” He picked her up by the waist and set her on the sink.
Gai burst into the room, dragging Anko along with him just as Naru’s back hit the faucet, spraying cold water down her skirt.
“AAH!!”
“My turn, Rival!”
Kakashi blinked stupidly a few times and even uncovered his Sharingan to make sure he wasn’t in a genjutsu.
“Get a room, you two,” Anko slurred a little, “thisun’s OURS for SEVEN MINUTES!” She began making out with Gai right in front of them as their comrades cheered from the living room and hallway. Naru and Kakashi escaped but weren’t sure if they would ever be the same after seeing that.
Kakashi reported to the Tower first thing the following morning with a hangover. HOW someone snuck something into the punch without him realizing it would’ve been beyond him but he knew that his one-track-mind the previous night had been on something else. SomeONE else.
Minato-sensei was giving him an odd look.
“Did you have a nice time at your party, Kakashi-kun?”
“Mostly.”
“You’ve forgotten your ANBU mask, have you, Inu-san?” Minato almost wanted to laugh at the way his student began searching for it when it was only on his hip. “Almost” because he had a serious question for him: many of them, in fact. The Hokage waited for a moment for Kakashi to secure his mask. “Inu, I understand alcohol was served at your party.”
Yeah, Hiruzen was still freaking out that his very expensive sake had gone missing the same day his youngest son had come home drunk as a skunk.
“The punch was spiked sometime during the evening,” Kakashi admitted, embarrassed that he hadn’t realized it immediately. The fruit in the punch had absorbed a lot of the alcohol and right now he didn’t remember when he realized it. His nose had betrayed him! “Hokage-sama, I have a question.” He paled when Jiraiya flung himself in through the window. “Maybe now is not the best time,” he muttered begrudgingly.
“First you will answer my question,” Minato bit out. “Do you know how my precious daughter received a hickey?!” Jiraiya-sensei howled with laughter, giving his student a hard time about not knowing where hickeys came from. Minato didn’t think this was funny at all!
Kakashi saw his life flash in front of him. Most of it sucked until recently. Naruto’s soft smile and pink cheeks - her puffy pink lips, reddened from my desperate kisses; he almost swooned just thinking about it. “I kissed her…”
“Called it,” Jiraiya exclaimed boisterously. “Way to go, Kakashi-kun! Naru-chan’s a good girl: a real catch!” He turned toward his student who looked like he might be having a stroke. Ah well, he’s young: he’ll probably recover. “You owe me 1,000 ryo!”
“SHUT iT, SENSEI!”
“I’m serious about Naru-chan, sensei!” Minato let out a wail and covered his face as he and Jiraiya - who had firmly grasped his shoulder with a VERY serious look suddenly on his face - dodged a shower of Genma’s senbons. Kakashi wasn’t surprised: Genma had been exuding Killing Intent since he heard about the hickey.
Too bad you had guard duty last night, Shirunai! Bwahahaha!
Kakashi really didn’t mean to mark Naru like that and felt embarrassed for both of them. Yet somehow proud! He threw some very nasty hand signals Genma’s way, anyway, then had to dodge when his sensei came flying at him.
Later, he thanked all the gods that Jiraiya-sama had been there to rescue him. Having been suspended, he sat down at a park close to the Academy and began to read his new book.
Minato, in the meantime, was pacing. Jiraiya had been right; he knew that he and Kushina had long been dating by the time they were Kakashi and Naru’s ages - but she was his baby! And he obviously hadn’t instilled in her a proper fear of -er, knowledge of the opposite sex in her.
- Enough to make her see that all boys were bad news!
“Sensei, I need you to take Naruto on a training trip. –ANYwhere!”