Misplaced Princess

DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything from the Naruto universe.

Thinking (+ flashbacks, “Naruto speaking to Kurama in her mindscape,” etc.)

Emphasis

Bijuu, etc. speaking

Bijuu, etc. thinking

Teuchi handed the Chunin, Jonin Commander, and his son three bowls of ramen: an extra-large for the blonde, a large for Commander Nara, and a small bowl for his little clone.  

As far as Teuchi was concerned, the Naras spent far too little time at his ramen stand but Naru was quickly changing that.  All of the Naras seemed fond of the Jonin Commander’s sole student and Naru could eat just as much as the family that was rumored to be everything from her parents to her distant cousins.  

The Uzumaki-Namikazes was definitely her family but he’d wait to find out exactly how they were related.  Teuchi was just glad he had another ramen-obsessed customer.

“It’s about time,” Naru grinned at her sensei.  She felt like she’d been waiting forever for him to celebrate with her!

“It might be a little late coming, but congratulations, Naruto,” Shikaku said as he raised his sake glass to the (fairly) newly-appointed Chunin.  Naruto smiled brightly and raised her glass of soda while encouraging his sleepyheaded son that was sitting between them to raise his juice box - which he did for all of a split second.  “Your promotion is well-deserved and a proper reflection on me.”  The teen started laughing which was his intention although he wouldn’t admit it out loud.  “Hmph!”  He took another long sip of his sake.  “Now that you’re a Chunin, you’re officially out of my hair.”  His son seemed to wake up and glared at him while looking back and forth from him to Naruto.  

“No,” Shikamaru said, glowering at his father.  Shikaku had to bite the inside of his cheek from fawning over how cute and fierce his little boy appeared at that moment.  “Naru’s mine.”

Naruto grabbed him, squeezing the daylights out of the nearly 3-year-old before pulling up his shirt and blowing a raspberry on his belly.

“Troublesome,” his son got out between giggles.

“You’re so kawaii!”   Naruto couldn’t believe this cute little deer head was this adorable when he’d been her boring lazybones of a classmate once upon a time.  It was just too bad that one day soon he would be the “troublesome” boy she’d known again.

“I know,” Shikamaru said.  He frowned at her when she told him to eat his ramen because noodles were boring and Naru wasn’t boring.  “Why do you eat this?”

“Shikamaru!” Shikaku scolded and then apologized to Teuchi who just laughed it off.

“What a brat you are,” Naru said, changing her mind about chibi-Shikamaru entirely.  “This is the food of the gods, I’ll have you know!”

Shikamaru looked at his noodles and thought about that.  He knew that Naru wasn’t much of a liar - he’d heard his father laugh about it - so he gave the dish a go.  “It’s alright.”  Naru smiled at him warmly with her mouth full of noodles so he followed her example as best he could, considering how troublesome the chopsticks were.  He picked up his spoon instead.

Shikamaru didn’t remember exactly when Naru began babysitting him but he loved her.  She was his one and only big sis.  Naruto watched the clouds with him and told him that it wasn’t troublesome at all since she sometimes “meditated” while she did it.  She also did dumb girl things but he found that he didn’t really mind.   His first memory of her was kind of silly.

“No babysitter.”

“Did you say ‘babysitter?!’  Whaaaaaa - Shikamaru-chan!  I thought you were my chibi-friend!”

“I’m not small.  …But hmm.  Friends.  Okay.”

Naru, he remembered, had squealed at him - something that he had not liked.  But then he got hugged, although he didn’t remember what happened after that.  

All that sorting through his memories was tiring, so he put his head on the table and decided to go to sleep.

“I… I just don’t see how he can do that,” Naru remarked in wonder about the way the toddler would just zonk out at will, smiling at how Shikamaru’s hair was just long enough to be pulled into a silly little ponytail that sprouted up on the top of his head like a sprinkler.  

“Sleep’s important,” Shikaku said between sips of ramen broth.  “So is rest and relaxation.”

“Important traits for a shinobi,” Naruto snarked sarcastically.

Shikaku raised a dark eyebrow at her.  “Important traits for a Nara.”

Just then, Ibiki and Inoichi entered the ramen bar.  Ibiki saw the blonde and began to back out but she was already turning toward him.  

“What a nice surprise,” Naru smiled menacingly.  “Eh, Ibiki-kun?  Afternoon, Inoichi-sama.”

Ibiki took a deep breath, wondering if the ramen bar owner would pseudo-poison his ramen as Kushina-sama did at that horrible dinner he had with the two and Hokage-sama.  “Indeed it is nice, Naruto-sama.”  The blonde snorted and dove back into her ramen.  Gods, she could be so rude!  “Nice to see you as well, Commander.”

Shikaku looked back and forth at the teenagers.  “So did you guys make up?”

“Hai,” Ibiki said just as Naru said “no.”

“Ibiki-san,” the Hokage’s wife greeted her guest with a glare although her voice was sweet.  “So good to see you.”

Ibiki had definitely noticed that the Hokage was roughly PINCHING his shoulder rather than simply touching him when he’d unexpectedly Hiraishined him and Naruto-san to his home.  He guessed that his supervisor had told the Hokage about the additional genjutsus he’d placed on Naruto-san.  

“Thank you for having me in your home, Hokage-sama, Kushina-sama.”

“I - think I’m just going to head upstairs,” Naruto said, not sounding like her normally hyper-self at all.

“Nonsense, dear,” Kushina said, much more upbeat and happy.  “I made your favorite: ramen!”

“I don’t think I can eat,” Naru said.  

Ibiki could almost picture a rain cloud hanging over her head.  He smirked, glad that she seemed exhausted after her exam.

“Go clean up,” Kushina ordered.  She waited for her daughter to disappear upstairs before the fiery redhead turned her sights on him.  “What did you do to my little girl?”

“Kushina,” Minato said in a warning voice before turning to him and purposely leaking just a bit of Killing Intent.  “Ibiki-kun, what do you think of my daughter?  …Why would you want to hurt my precious baby?”

Ibiki gulped when he could finally muster it.  Hokage-sama was usually so pleasant although tales, of course, had been told of what a killing machine the shinobi had been in the past.  

“Going after one of my ninjas, my family, is not a game, Ibiki-san.”

For once in his life, Ibiki was speechless.  –Not that he was ever one for loquaciousness, but normally his silence was a means to an end.  He just hadn’t thought of it that way.

And the Genin Kunoichi had handled the genjutsus well enough…

“I’m sorry to have failed you, Hokage-sama,” he began truthfully, only somewhat grateful that the Hokage and his wife remained quiet after he began.  “My task was to evaluate the Genins’ resistance to genjutsus but I should have known to limit them to B-level genjutsus.”

“And why is that, Ibiki-san?”

“Because a B-level genjutsu is the most that… most experienced Chunin-level shinobis can handle.”

Hokage-sama sat down at his dinner table and looked at him thoughtfully while his wife went back to cooking in the adjacent kitchen.  “Putting down layered low-level genjutsus was a good idea.  A Chunin Squad Commander will certainly come across those, but we all start from someplace, ne?  Even some of the village’s best Jonin have trouble with one shinobi discipline or another.  …For instance, I rarely see you use fuuinjutsu.”

It was Ibiki’s training that kept him from gulping down another lump in his throat.  Ibiki could use commonly-known seals but EVERYONE knew of Yondaime-sama’s obsession with the art.  He respected the hell out of seal masters, but gods forbid he be forced to develop his own seals: they were too time-consuming and difficult!  “Ah.  I think I understand now.”

“Good,” Minato said cheerfully.  “Naruto’s relationship to us is a class S-secret, Ibiki-san.  And I’ll ask you again,” he glared, his attitude doing a full 180, “what do you think of my daughter?”

Either the Hokage genjutsu-ed him without hand seals or his KI had made the room freezing and quite dark: Ibiki wasn’t sure which.

He thought he’d been saved by Kushina-sama when she began scolding her husband and putting food on the table.  But then Naruto had come downstairs, all cleaned up, and he made the mistake of looking at her.  Truly, he was only observing her loud, orange outfit but Hokage-sama got the wrong idea and took him out back to “Spar” with him after dinner as a punishment.

• A dinner that he had “gladly” eaten despite how hot and spicy it was. 
  He also still wondered if Kushina-sama had put laxatives in it, too. 

The whole experience had been awful!  And he’d NEVER had his ass handed to him as the Hokage had.

Coming out of his memories, Ibiki laughed and lied.  “As I was saying, it’s good to see you, Naruto-sama.”

“Me, too,” Naruto said, grinning viciously into her noodles.  “No honorifics, please.”

“Oh, for heavens’ sake, you two,” Inoichi said, patting his apprentice on the shoulder as he sat down.  “You’re both shinobis of the Leaf and need to have each other’s back.”

“Agreed,” Naruto seemed to say reluctantly -  or at least with a heavy sigh.

Ibiki had seen that she was nervously playing with her hands and when she smiled up at him, holding her hand out in peace, he immediately agreed and shook it - and got buzzed for it.  “OWW!”

Naruto threw her head back and laughed.  “That did NOT hurt!”

“It… was a surprise,” Ibiki reluctantly replied with a glare.  Naruto just kept smiling at him brightly.  “And it was childish.”

“Yep,” Naru drawled.  “But that’s the end of it.  Okay?”

“Alright,” Ibiki sighed, although he’d have to keep an eye on her silliness and growing sealing abilities.  He couldn’t believe that she’d drawn a seal on her hand with chakra like that.  “Teuchi-san, may I have the beef please?”

Inoichi and Shikaku were whispering to each other, in the meantime; both quickly put money down and Shikaku picked up his sleepy son.  “I’ve gotta run, Naru-chan.”

“What a drag,” Shikamaru drawled in his sleep.  Naruto began laughing so hard that she sucked noodles and broth through her nose.  She hadn’t heard him say that as a chibi before and her sensei made her entertain the little brat a lot.  

Naturally, that was when Kakashi wandered in, glaring at Ibiki.

Kakashi either didn’t notice her nostrils battling with the noodles or kindly didn’t say anything about it.  He seemed more interested in Ibiki.

Ibiki groaned and asked to get his order to go.

After he was gone, Kakashi moved into the stool beside her, requesting a bowl with pork and eggplant from Teuchi.  

“I probably owe you and Ibiki for getting me out of babysitting duties.  –Don’t tell him that, though, okay?”

“Sure,” Kakashi said, unsure of what else to say.

Naruto was just glad that he wasn’t still avoiding her.  “So!  How have your missions been going?  Do you like living in your own apartment?  –I mean, I know it’s been a while…”

“They’re alright and uh… it’s alright.”  Kakashi felt like an idiot - wasn’t he supposed to be a genius? - and wanted to run so badly that it hurt.  But he couldn’t leave: he’d just finally gotten her to himself!  He put down a small silencing seal before Teuchi gave him his ramen.  He quickly gulped it down.

“HEY!  That’s an insult to the ramen gods right there!”  Kakashi clicked his tongue but was clearly smiling under his mask at her.  “Kaa-chan’s right, you know.  You should take time with your food: you’re going to get sick!”

“Maybe,” he teased.  “But what would I do about my mask?”

Naruto tapped her chin as she pretended to think it over.  “One: you could take it off.”  Her cheeks burned brightly as she remembered that he had once pulled it down when they’d made out and kYah!   She didn’t notice him smirking at her, thinking about the same thing.  “Two: genjutsu! …I don’t see why you even wear it.”

Kakashi hummed.  “Maybe I’m ugly.”

“Oh please!  Your mask is tight and I can see your features well enough.”

Kakashi smiled.  “So you think I’m handsome.”  Naruto’s cheeks - which were just going back to their normal creamy tan - turned bright pink again.  It was adorable.

“I’m just trying to help you with your digestion.  And we’re talking about your mask!”

Kakashi continued smiling at her, almost wanting to uncover his Sharingan so he could record her pretty smile and big eyes - but that would be embarrassing and tax his chakra.  “Maa, I suppose it’s good for hiding my nose when noodles are coming out of it.”

Naruto paled and shrunk away from him, making him chuckle as she felt her nose with her napkin.  “I’m just kidding: you’re fine.  More than fine…”

Naruto went back to her ramen, muttering about how he was a meanie (and internally cursing her blushing cheeks.)  

“So I heard you’re going to have a little sister or brother.”  That was why he put the seal down.

“Yeah,” Naru said, not meeting his eyes.  She remembered their conversation that revolved around Karin-chan which led to them kissing… Ieee!  So embarrassing!   “Things are better now.”

“Better?”

“Easier,” Naru clarified after thinking about it for several seconds.  “And it… I think it might be nice to have a sibling, ya know?  Although it’s kinda gross that Karin-chan’s JUST out of diapers and pretty soon there will be more of them,” she said, shuddering all over.  “My nose is really sensitive.”

“Mine is, too.”  Kakashi wondered just how sensitive her nose was.  “Do you know how to track?”

Naruto knew that Kakashi was an expert tracker on par with the Inuzukas which was really saying something.  “No.  I wish I did.”

“Maybe I can train you.”

“I would like that,” Naru grinned, surprised that he’d be willing to go out of his way like that.  “That’s really nice of you… Would you really have time?  And want to?”

“Yeah,” Kakashi said, wondering when they’d gotten closer to each other.  “Definitely.”  He lost himself in her big azure eyes.  A squeal from an Akimichi woman outside of the stand brought both teens out of their reverie.  Both turned around to see what had happened, but the older kunoichi was only looking at the two of them - or maybe it was Teuchi behind them - as if she was starstruck.  

Kakashi could’ve kissed the lady (well not really) when, for some reason, she grabbed Gai and sunshinned him away from the ramen stand.  He was definitely coming in for a challenge.  Or to see Naruto.

“Anyway,” Kakashi said, scratching at his hitai-ate, “if the baby or baby-stuff ever gets to be too much you can come over to my place.  I live over in…”  He jumped when a senbon came flying at him.  Kakashi also didn’t appreciate the way Teuchi was laughing at (now) all of them as if they were entertainment. 

The man saw the way he was looking at him and went into the prep room.

“Yo,” Genma said, catching the kunai Kakashi had thrown at him in retaliation.  “What are you two doing here?  You’re not on a date are you, Naruto?” he yelled.  Minato suddenly appeared and Kakashi thanked his lucky stars that Kushina had begun yelling at him for leaving her behind.

What a noisy family.  What a noisy village! 

What a pain.

“What is their deal?” Naru asked herself - or anyone.  Her father was almost insanely protective and her mother was definitely up to something.  She’d often heard Kushina and her friends plotting something for her and for Kakashi, although she didn’t know whether or not those schemes were related. Either way, the busy-bodied women always shut up whenever she’d get near enough to hear what they were up to.  “I guess I’d better go before Tou-san gets a wild hair up his ass.”

Kakashi snorted and walked her over to them, determined to be brave about it.  

It wasn’t until much later that night when Genma was on guard duty at the Namikaze Estate when he finally asked Naru out on a date.  He considered himself to have been ultra-smooth, asking her if she wanted to go to a “get together” among friends at the festival that was coming up.

Naruto wasn’t sure whether or not she should be excited or nervous.  Her first date maybe?  Nah…   She kept in mind the two most important things, either way:
1.  No kissing no matter what, you (former, just one time!) giant perv.
2.  Potentially free food!

“I don’t want to go out with Playboy Genma,” Anko pouted furiously.

“You’re not going out with him.  Naruto’s going out with him,” Shizune said, wondering why Kushina-sama suddenly looked so infuriated. 

“I thought you were going with Kakashi,” the redhead whined.  Naruto pulled a face that just screamed that she didn’t know what to do or think about that.  –And that she might be considering throwing herself out of her bedroom window considering the way her eyes kept glancing toward it.

“I wouldn’t say Genma’s a playboy,” Kurenai said thoughtfully.  “He’s just very popular.”

“Well, gross,” Naru said, reminded of the fangirls and their sometimes vicious attacks on her “for bothering Sasuke-kun.”  Blegh.  “I don’t want to deal with that.”

“Thank goodness,” Kushina breathed, although she was still going to get the word out about keeping any boy who wasn’t Kakashi-kun away from her beautiful daughter.   “Who else is going in your little friend-group?”

Kurenai hummed.  “The four of us - and then there’s Genma, Ebisu,” she stuck out her tongue at Naruto who groaned at the idea of the boy she called “Ebisu-Perv” being there.  “I suppose nearly everyone really.”

Anko rolled her eyes.  “Don’t forget Asuma.”  Kurenai turned beet red.

Kushina wished that her daughter would react that way to her future son-in-law and continued working on arranging Naru’s updo, knowing that she needed to get to work on her own.  —Or Naru would have to.  She couldn’t make shadow clones anymore; now she needed help with her hair.  She twirled a long, red strand in her fingers, giving it a frustrated look.  “Maybe I should cut my hair.”

All of the girls became excited: arguing over whether or not the Hokage’s wife should cut her hair.  Having made a decision, and with the support of her cousins, Ame and Tsunade, the girls got to work on “making her beautiful.”

“You'll be even more beautiful, Kaa-chan,” Naru said firmly.  Kushina broke out in fat, ugly-hormonal love-tears which ruined her makeup.  

By the time her father came home, Kushina’s hair was just long enough to still be pulled into an elaborate updo that would supposedly be perfect for the festival.  

When Minato realized it later that night, her haircut made him cry like a baby.

Naruto had a feeling that this WAS a date.  

Genma was attentive, kind, winning her stuff, had insisted on buying her snacks which was no problem, AND had finally stopped being overly sweet and flirtatious when she squished his foot for it.  

He was a very nice guy and apparently strong enough to be the leader of her father’s guard.  Naruto, however, wasn’t sure if he was strong enough to deal with her over-protective father and all his issues OR if she could stand the glares from his fangirls.

• Being close to Genma wasn’t quite as bad as being anywhere near Sasuke but it still was unpleasant.
  PLUS,  

“Every time I think of him like that, I remember him making out with an adult version of baby Ino.”   Naru had only seen the toddler version of Ino a few times and could appreciate that her father, Inoichi, was always trying to dress her in bright orange fuzzy rompers.  They were adorable!

It was hard to imagine little Ino with Genma, but Naru couldn't get it out of her head!

“What have I told you, brat?  Just… live THIS life.  And concentrate on finding a way to get out of the village so we can end Madara.”

“Agreed,” Naru said, although she thought that it was stupid to keep this a secret from her father.  “The Hokage is the one who issues Missions, ya know.  Maybe we should just ask.”

“He won’t be able to go there, himself.”  Kurama hummed as he thought more about it. “Have the soon-to-be-perverted dog-brat take you there.”

“Ha!  THINK about that Kurama: why would Kakashi want to go to the place that caused him so much trauma?  And Kannabi Bridge is supposed to be near Iwa, ne?”

“It’s the closest lead we’ve got to Madara’s present location.”

“And you said those white guys are somewhere near him, too, right?”

“Zetsus: yes.”

“You’re really worried about them,” Naruto realized.  Kurama rarely talked about them or anything from her past lives but Madara and Zetsu(s) he had warned her about.   “We’ll find them and blow them all to hell.”

“Tch!  He may not have Obito but he’ll steal another Uchiha if he has to.”

“I’m talking to Tou-san about it tonight.”   She gasped when the first firework went off.  She and her friends were sitting on her father’s head while her parents were down in the village “with the people.”  

Sometimes Naruto couldn’t believe how much better her life was now.  She pinched herself and tried to release a genjutsu but once again, found herself among a group of teenagers that were all having a great time.  With her!

Kushina smiled at her daughter brightly once she was home.  “Did you have a nice time tonight, Naruto?” 

“Did any of those boys try anything?”

“Tou-san!  No!”  Naruto felt herself turning red again and appreciated her mother whopping her father for being stupid.  If one of those boys had tried something, she could handle herself!  “And, um, I need to talk to you.”  She kissed her mother goodnight and sat down at the kitchen table, activating a silencing seal that was built into it.  

“What’s going on?  Are you sure none of those boys touched you?”

“No!  Gods, you’re so embarrassing!   I just - well, I love you for caring, but I… wanted to ask you if I could check out Kannabi Bridge.”

Minato’s eyes narrowed, once again bewildered by his teenage daughter.  “I love you, too, Naru-chan.  And why?”

“Cuz Madara might be there and I’m going to blow him up.”  Kurama immediately began complaining about her being an idiot - saying that that was the last thing she should have said.  Naruto thought it better to be direct, though.

“What has that fox been telling you?!”

“Just that I need to watch out for Madara and the Zetsus!  I’m the one that wants to blow him to Kingdom Come!”

There was no way that Minato was going to allow her to go off on that kind of mission.  “Is that where Madara is?  Kannabi Bridge - or what’s left of it?”

“We don’t know.”

“Naruto,” Minato sighed, rubbing his bare forehead.  “I want to ensure that you don’t have to live like you once did but I need you to trust me.”  Kami.  His daughter’s puppy eyes were going to be the end of him, weren’t they?  And she was using them against him again, right now!  “Um… Why am I ‘embarrassing?’”

“Oh my gosh!  Tou-san!  Stay on topic, please!  And you’re embarrassing because you’re obsessed with boys!”

“You’re obsessed with boys,” he whispered snarkily, pulling a Kushina.

“Am not,” Naruto insisted, her eyes quickly tearing up.  She ran upstairs in tears and Minato laid his head on the table, praying that his unborn child would be a boy.