Misplaced Princess

DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything from the Naruto universe.

Thinking (+ flashbacks, "Naruto speaking to Kurama in her mindscape," etc.)

Emphasis

Bijuu, etc. speaking

Bijuu, etc. thinking

"Did something happen between you and Kakashi?" Kushina asked quietly the day after her future-son-in-law (she was SURE it would happen; she'd one day MAKE -er, HELP it happen) moved out. Naruto had been especially quiet and kept to herself on her few days off.

"No," Naruto replied, hoping that her mother would drop this. Hadn't Naru humiliated herself enough? Would Kakashi tell them what she'd done?! Good gods: Kakashi-kun had to be hating her right now for basically forcing him to cheat on that Anko chick and kiss-assaulting him.

"I think something DID happen," Kushina said as she tapped her chin. "Do you like him?"

Naruto chose to make her face look especially dumb and sound completely clueless when she spoke, although she wasn't sure she could trick her mother.  "Of course I like him," Naruto said blankly as she opened the latest sealing book her mother had given her. She sat closer to her mom, despite how much of a jerk she was: how much she might be ruining her mother's relationship with Kakashi-kun.

She had forced the older boy to move away, and Kakashi hadn't said a word or even looked at her while he was leaving in a giant hurry. Sadly, she almost hoped that she'd never see him again, which was stupid, because she also wanted to apologize to him - and be around him, in general.

Also, she kinda hoped that she wouldn't see any boys ever again. What if she lost control with them? Stupid hormones! Stupid puberty/adolescence! Stupid Naruto…

"I wonder why he left," Kushina continued, hoping to get something out of her daughter.

"I'm sorry," Naruto eventually said, unable to bear it anymore. "He's been with you for so long: you must miss him very much."

"Not really," Kushina admitted. "He's a brat. I'll see him around, and it's not like I'm NOT going to bug him as much as possible. He LOVES my food, after all. It's just that I'm… mainly curious, dattebane!" Naruto hummed but said nothing until she asked her about a page in the book that she didn't understand.

Fortunately for Naruto, they spent the rest of the afternoon and into the evening talking about and drawing seals. It wasn't until she was alone in bed that night that she decided to seek out Anko the next day and apologize.

Anko's eye twitched. What was this blonde chick doing on her knees in front of her, and why was SHE mumbling and apologizing for who knows what and asking for forgiveness? If Orochimaru-sensei found out - and he always did - he was going to be pissed because she'd promised him that SHE would apologize to Blondie instead of this bullshit. And she wasn't getting on her fucking knees!

"Rise, baka," she ordered. Blondie looked up at her and now HER eye was twitching. That was good. Blondie had been pretty fast in not only running from her snakes but in summoning that giant toad. "Let's fight."

"Do what now? Oh, it's because you KNOW," Naruto said with a pained expression. "Look, I didn't know he was your boyfriend: wait. Yes, I did. It's just that I'm apparently a giant perv but don't worry: I have pseudo-sworn off men and boys cuz I don't want to turn into a female Ero-sennin, you see."

Anko's eyes narrowed. "I don't know what the hell you're talking about, Blondie. I ain't got no boyfriend, and I don't care that you're a perv."

Naruto stood there, dumbfounded, blinking like an idiot. "Oh." Had she already broken up a formerly happy couple? What a terrible person she was! A "homewrecker:" that's what people called girls like her!

That's what Ino and Sakura used to say.

"Thanks for not ratting me out to Hokage-sama," Anko said after a beat. She'd understood some of the weird shit Blondie said well enough but decided to get more info out of her when fewer people were around. So far she knew or had just learned that Blondie was fast, summoned toads, was a pervert, and didn't have a boyfriend. Aside from the toads, that made her potential buddy material. "Ya wanna fight, or what?"

"Like spar?" Naruto asked, feeling almost hopeful. She hadn't sparred with anyone since Ero-sennin took off (aside from her clones.)

"Sure. Whatever," Anko replied, hoping that Blondie would fight with something different from genjutsu. It would be nice to find a fellow kunoichi who used other kinds of tricks than what Kurenai always turned to. "Training ground 17 is close, and Orochimaru-sensei is in the lab with Tsunade-hime today."

Naruto swallowed down the bile she felt at hearing that Orochimaru, a man that she knew as a traitor to her old Konoha, was Anko's sensei (and that her grandmother-figure no: auntish-cousin was with him.) She nodded, following the purple-haired teen to the nearby field that was right next to that lab.

There were lots of things like this that Naruto had promised her father that she'd be cool about, (using her own words to paraphrase his lengthy explanations and orders,) since certain bad things SHE knew in her old life - the future - had already been altered. They wouldn't happen this time. Like, the Uchihas weren't going to be wiped out, that Danzo was gone, and her Ame friends were going to be okay!

Hopefully.

Naruto hadn't been to training ground 17 before, and Anko-chan obviously had: that was the first disadvantage she had. It had a big, deep-looking pond in it, some weirdly tall training posts that looked like they could come to life, and an obstacle course running through it. "This is pretty cool," she commented as she looked around.

"Yeah, I guess so. SO! How about… no summoning," (Anko knew that Orochimaru would have a damn cow/cow-sized snake if a toad appeared on his favorite training ground,) "and uh… no weapons!"

"Okay," Naruto said, agreeing immediately. "And no killing blows."

"Duh." Blondie's eyebrow started twitching under her bangs again, which was good. Anko loved pissing people off. And pissing people off just before a spar was even better. "Are you ready to fight or what?!"

"Yeah!"

The girls' eyes followed the drop of a leaf as their chakra began sizzling in excitement. When it hit the ground, both girls attacked.

Tsunade and Orochimaru watched from a second-floor window of his lab. "If Namikaze-chan summons a toad, I'm calling on Manda."

Tsunade laughed. "Manda's horrible and you know it." She watched both girls going at it and sighed, almost feeling old. "That used to be us… Actually, it's more like watching you and Jiraiya. When we were around their age."

"Hmph! Jiraiya never had a chance against me, and his little minion won't stand one against mine," he said: his face smug as his apprentice launched a fire dragon jutsu at the blonde. Tsunade gasped but cheered when Naruto protected herself somehow. Orochimaru shook his head, not liking what he'd just seen. "Namikaze may have protected herself with that wind bubble, but under a more powerful fire attack that would be unwise: she'd just be hurting herself."

Tsunade cooed at him. "You're so protective of our girls!" All three of the Sannin currently had kunoichi apprentices, after all.

Orochimaru clicked his tongue. "Shut up, Tsunade." They continued watching as the girls began a battle of taijutsu. Namikaze-chan was a brawler, while Anko-chan fought smarter, using the style he'd beaten into her - but wasn't smart enough. He turned away when they finally knocked each other out or pretended to, glad that Tsunade was obviously in no rush to go out and heal them. His eyebrow raised as he looked at his teammate, wondering what she was thinking. "Well?"

"Well," Tsunade repeated plainly and turned fully toward him. "What are you going to do?"

"I've been given an interesting new assignment," he admitted with a sly smile. When Tsunade's interest peaked, he gave her the big news. And oops: was it supposed to be a secret? Oh well… "I'm researching how Senju DNA can be used in both healing and for transplants, prosthetics, and such."

Tsunade's mouth fell open before she punched him out the open window. "WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GET SENJU DNA?"

Orochimaru hissed through the pain as he summoned a sea of snakes. Tsunade was supposed to attack Minato, not him!

Anko and Naruto moved away fast but watched gleefully as the two Sannin put on a hell of a show.

Naruto appeared with her sensei in her father's office several days later, avoiding Kakashi's chakra that almost felt like it was calling to her. It must be her imagination: her dirty, stinkin', pervy imagination…

"Whaddya want, Hokage-sama?" Shikaku drawled lazily.

Minato blew out his regular irritation at his friend and Jonin commander, resting his cheek in his hand. "As you've mentioned, the Chunin Exams need to be held." He frowned when Naruto bounced on her toes, looking so excited. He didn't want her to rise in the ranks: it would only potentially put her in more danger! "I am of two minds. One, we can show the other nations that Konoha is still strong despite our recent setbacks, inviting them to attend with our Genin. On the other hand, we can simply set up an exam or tournament of sorts to have our competing Genin battle one another, as Konoha did during the wars."

Shikaku-sensei (he didn't like to be called that) only shrugged so Naruto jumped forward, giving her own opinion. "I think we should invite everyone and then we can hopefully make peace with the other nations! At least invite Ame!"

Minato smiled at her but glared at his student who he caught staring stupidly with one eye at his daughter's legs or rear end. Clearing his throat, he gave Naruto her new assignment. "Naruto, I want you to guard Kushina part-time at the Academy for a few weeks. She's going to start teaching there on Monday."

"Of course," Naruto said with a smile although she was a little disappointed. She hadn't been out of the village in a while and she missed traveling. "Ano, who will I be teamed with for the Chunin Exams?" She'd found that it was better to apologize after assuming she could do something - or just doing it - than asking for permission to do that thing first. Her new friend, Anko, felt the same way.

Minato looked at his Genin roster and didn't like putting her with any of those available. Every Genin that needed a teammate was a boy, BUT… Maybe he could team her with some much younger kids? Younger boys wouldn't be a threat. But could they protect her?

"Minato," Shikaku groaned, almost reading his mind. "Naruto, why don't you run over to the Barrier Division?"

"Okay! Ja, Tou-san, everyone," she said, sunshinning away.

"What is she doing at the Barrier Division?" Minato asked, realizing he needed to monitor her more closely. He didn't know that Naruto knew where the Barrier HQ was!

"I like to play cards over there," Shikaku openly admitted with a yawn. "Plus, having an Uzumaki there is good for the division and for the boys."

"Boys?!"

"Mhm," Shikaku nodded, deciding to ignore his daughter-obsessed leader and never have a daughter of his own. He did turn to give Inu an odd look since he'd begun growling. "She gets on really well with your Guard Platoon and the other guys in Barriers. She comes up with crazy ideas, and the guys help her with her sealing. It's good to have an Uzumaki there."

Minato hummed. "I guess. Shikaku, can you excuse us for a second," he requested as he glared at his student who did NOT have one of his ninken with him even though it sounded like he did. Shikaku slouched out of the room, closing the door behind him. "Kakashi-kun, what is your problem?"

"I don't have a problem. And it's 'Inu,' sir."

"Right," Minato said, sorting a few bits of paperwork. "You're royally screwing up, by the way."

"Sensei?"

"Nothing," Minato sighed. "If I catch you staring at my daughter… like that again, I'll kick your ass, Inu." Kakashi didn't say anything, but when Minato looked up at him, he noticed his bright red ear. "Teenagers," he groaned to himself.

Naruto's new assignment was lame, but her mother was a riot. "Kushina-sensei" taught fuuinjutsu and theory to little brats and took no shit from them or the other senseis.

...

"How can you be a ninja when you can't even fight?" Brat 1 asked. He had the whole Uchiha-sneer thing going on, despite his young age.

"I think you should concentrate on how you will be able to get my foot out of your butt, 10 seconds from now," Kushina-sensei countered with a sickeningly-sweet smile.

...

"Fuuinjutsu's stupid," Brat 2 said.

"You're stupid," Kushina-sensei remarked, looking pleased. "Thank you for revealing yourself."

...

"Do you have big butts 'cause you havta sit down to make seals all day?" a six-year-old future mega-brat asked, looking at both Kushina-sensei and Naruto with innocent (seeming) eyes.

"One of these days you'll wish you could drive someone with junk in her trunk, ya little brat," Naruto said. That earned her a high-five from her mother before she scolded her for saying something "inappropriate" again.

...

Naruto and her mother sat at one of the long short-people desks, seals strewn out in front of them, cackling wickedly in the otherwise empty classroom. The kids in the senior class really needed to be taught a lesson, and between the two of them, the lesson would be one the brats never forgot. Minato waltzed in and slumped, already imagining the paperwork they were obviously going to cause. "I'm here to take you both to lunch."

"Hooray!"

"Or I was before I saw this…"

"Boo!"

Once at Ichirakus, the Namikaze family dove into their noodles, making Teuchi work hard but feel secure about his little daughter's college fund and inheritance.

"Naruto," Minato said after putting away his third bowl, "I've found two Genin for you to take the Chunin Exams with."

"This is cause for a celebration," Kushina cheered, thrilled that Minato had finally gotten past his daddy issues and was planning on letting Naruto become her own woman.

"Hai, hai," Minato agreed but passed on the sake Kushina ordered. "Tomorrow morning I want you to meet them at Training Ground 4. Shikaku will be your team leader until the promotional period ends."

"Oh, he'll be thrilled about that," Naruto said, knowing that her sensei would not be.

Naruto felt like she was going to have a heart attack. It was HIM!

And HIM!

"You're kinda old," Iruka said, looking her up and down. Ignoring the danger he'd have put himself in had he said that to any other female than the one who looked up to him in a different timeline, he looked at his other temporary teammate. "And you're a baby."

"I'm a Genin, the same as you," Itachi said simply (in a little boy voice.)

Naruto was still gawking at Iruka, but finally got ahold of herself and gawked at Clan Killer-chan. "Kawaii!"

"He is pretty cute," Iruka agreed.

Itachi blushed and looked away, making him seem even more adorable.

"Alright you three," Shikaku said as he sat down in the grass. "Introduce yourselves and say how ya got here: not that part, Naruto. Go over your specialties and any other troublesome things you feel are necessary."  He grumbled incoherently, even to himself.   "It's a drag, but I'll demonstrate: I'm Nara Shikaku. I like deer, my clan, my clan's techniques, and hate taijutsu - but I do it. I specialize in strategy and also enjoy shogi." He nodded toward Fugaku's son, wondering why Minato succumbed to Fugaku's desire to see his son graduate from the Academy last Spring despite - well, everything.

"I am Uchiha Itachi," Itachi said stoically although he felt really uncomfortable. "I like my clan, my baby brother, and enjoy bukijutsu and ninjutsu, although I'm adept at genjutsu. My sensei was injured on our last mission."

"You're more than 'adept' at genjutsu, son," Shikaku said knowingly. Itachi acknowledged what he said with a blush and a nod. Shikaku felt bad for the kid: it was reported that he already had two tomoes of the Sharingan.

"I'm… Naruto," the blonde said cheerily, blowing off her last names and all of the troubles they raised. "I'm pretty good or decent with nin and taijutsu, I guess, but my genjutsu sucks. I'm a stamina freak and my evasion and infiltration skills have always been awesome," she said proudly. "Shikaku-sensei, here, is my sensei."

"Troublesome."

Iruka wasn't quite sure what to say. "I'm Umino Iruka," he said shyly as he pulled at his ponytail. "My team got injured on our last mission and I didn't know I'd be competing in the Chunin Exams," he admitted. He looked up at the blonde teenager on his team and felt himself blush all the way up to his hairline. She was so pretty and was smiling at him in such a warm way! "I'm not bad with kenjutsu, I guess, and my parents have shown me a few things."

"And you're a sensor," Naruto said, remembering that Iruka was the only one who could ever catch her.

"I am?!"

Naruto nodded and while Shikaku cursed and laid down in the grass and groaned, Itachi asked how she knew that.

"Uhhh - 'cause I'm a sensor, too, 'ttebayo," she said.  She was a sensor, but the idea that sensors could locate each other was a lie.  Maybe. "A good sensor can feel a good sensor, ya know."

That made sense, right?

"Alright, kids," Shikaku said, pointing over his head and behind him. "I want each of you to spar with the minions I've picked out, one on one, and watch carefully when you're not up. Then I want the three of you to discuss what you've found together and with said minions. Jonin Morino, come on over and spar with Naruto."

Ibiki moved forward, determined to beat the attitude out of the girl who had given Hokage-sama such a hard time when she arrived. He wasn't sure how she had been allowed to not only become a Genin but also to work for the Jonin commander, but he had avoided her as much as possible - and she never minded it. He'd heard in the rumor mill that she was close to Hatake and had lately been hanging around with Mitarashi Anko of all people, but that didn't prove her loyalty to Konoha to him!

Naruto cracked her knuckles, remembering this guy: the guy who wanted to do bad things to her. He was going to regret it.

"Hajime!"

Twenty minutes later, Shikaku called the match a draw. Iruka and Itachi both felt sick with dread. Morino and their female teammate had not only been pounding the snot out of each other and using high-ranked jutsus but had summoned giant things to come to their aid. Neither of the boys felt that they were ready to fight someone of that caliber.

Itachi went to bed that night without dinner when he refused to enter the exams. Mikoto quietly brought her son his dinner (and kept two packages of Pocky in her haori for when he finished) as soon as her husband went to speak with Minato. "What's wrong, Itachi-kun? Why did you decide that you didn't want to compete?"

"I'm not ready," he easily admitted.

Mikoto smiled, deciding that she'd give him one of his treats now. She also knew that she needed to thank her best friend's husband for what he'd shown her prodigious, precious son. Itachi had already seen too much, and there was absolutely no need for him to rush into a more advanced shinobi career at such a young age.

For now.