Motormouth
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing from the Naruto universe but I do have an imagination of my own.
Thinking
Biju, etc. speaking
Biju, etc. thinking
Emphasis
Minato sat in the observation room that was attached to the unknown blonde's hospital room/cell in T&I. So far they weren't getting any good information, but Kami the girl was blabbering! He watched as Tsunade once again tried altering what she was putting in the IV and looked down at his notes.
So far, he knew she had absolutely scandalous language and three friends, although she wasn't sure if they were really her friends or not for some reason. She called them, "Lazy Ass, Dog-Breath, and Chubs." He could only shake his head and actually snickered despite himself as she talked about someone she called "Bastard" and how she loved "more than anything, pounding the stick right out his ass." She went on to describe another "bastard:" there were so many. This one had a "fate-stick shoved so far up his ass," it had, according to her, grown into an ecosystem that threatened the floral and fauna of her village.
She still had not named her village or even herself, which he supposed he'd have to give her credit for as a shinobi protecting her home. "Shinobi," the girl had called herself, rather than a Kunoichi quite pointedly, although she didn't explain why. Sometimes it seemed she wasn't trying to avoid Jiraya-sensei's questions as much as she'd just go off on another tangent. He knew that was common among captured skilled spies, but the looks he was getting intermittently from Tsunade-hime made him unsure. It seemed that the famed medic was having trouble keeping her patient stable and talking. Although talking wasn't the problem. When the girl wasn't giving them unnecessary information, she would pass out cold, much to her interrogator's chagrin.
Kakashi walked through the T&I headquarters after being allowed in by Anko-chan. He was lucky he avoided her summon's venomous attacks after he refused her offer of a date. Or rather "to fuck;" Kami that girl is strange. He knew that she didn't mean it: she hated his guts! He could feel Jiraiya-sama's and Tsunade-hime's huge chakra signatures in the room that his ninken wouldn't leave alone. It was an interrogation room, he could tell. He'd been all over the building, and outside of it with his pack, but they insisted that the baby was here!
That was absurd. He had a great sense of smell and definitely did not smell a baby, plus there was an absolutely enormous waving - or rolling - chakra presence he sensed from a female in the room, accompanied by Jiraiya-sama, Tsunade-hime, and one other. Finally, he sent his summons home and stepped into an observation room next to his sensei.
"What are you doing here, Kakashi-kun? You're supposed to be with Kushina!" Before Kakashi even had a chance to answer, the room he'd just looked into had a rather angry girl who seemed to point at him, yelling "YOU!"
"Reign in your chakra all you want, Pervert! You fucking stalker! I'm gonna kick your ass one of these days!"
"Is… Is she talking to me, sensei?" Kakashi asked, his voice cracking. It was only his shinobi training that kept him in place. He looked away from the menacing girl and toward the comfort of his sensei.
The girl was still looking into the two-way mirror with an ugly glare on her face when Tsunade put something else into her IV. The girl relaxed and began talking to herself, with her eyes closed. Finally, she fell asleep.
"I don't know, Kashi-kun," Minato said a bit playfully, the danger from the girl having momentarily passed. "Are you an 'f-ing pervert' or 'stalker'?" Minato couldn't help grinning as his student got all flustered and pale from the accusation he vehemently denied. As put out with Kakashi as he was for leaving Kushina's side, Minato was completely exhausted. Poking at his prickly student was always fun, and he didn't realize how badly he needed a distraction - or sleep - until the brat entered the little room.
Kakashi calmed himself and discussed his ninken's latest search, after explaining whom he'd left Kushina-chan with back at the house. Minato's chakra spiked involuntarily - something extremely odd for the Hokage, maybe even a singular event as far as Kakashi knew. At that moment he dearly wished he hadn't reported anything to him. "Sensei, you need sleep," he said in great concern to his mentor. This was the least in-control Kakashi had seen the man while in the village - and came a bit too close to how he'd seen him during those points wherein he was absolutely terrifying when in battle during in the war. He reached out hesitantly to pat his leader on the arm, hoping to calm the man. That all went to hell when the girl in the room began muttering about break-ins she'd made across the village.
Minato was on his feet in an instant, pushing his notebook toward his student. Wide-eyed and muttering terrible things, Kakashi figured this girl didn't have long to live considering his sensei's attitude as he wrote as quickly as the girl's words poured out of her mouth. She giggled about "pranking" her JiJi - who was apparently a "closet pervert" - and doing awful things to various senseis, some of whom she abhorred. Kakashi couldn't even look up to see the girl's expression as she went on and on with absolutely outrageous stories. Could they be true? It was hard to imagine. It was also hard to think, considering he was right next to some serious Killer Intent rolling off his sensei. Even Jiraiya-sama and Tsunade-hime were looking into their side of the window with alarm.
The girl didn't even notice! It wasn't until she coughed and sat up a bit that she looked toward them.
"Oi, Pervert!" The blonde shook her head as if trying to remain conscious. "I know who you fucking are!" She was looking straight into the room, past her own reflection. Kakashi realized how pretty she was as she smiled, then bit her bottom lip before saying words that would haunt him. "I broke into ANBU to find you out!" She crossed her arms in self-satisfaction, a little smirk on her face that didn't look like it belonged on her, plus resembled - whoa! She really looks like sensei... "Can I say, Sannin? Can I say?" The Sannin regarded her with a pause before Jiraiya-sama slowly nodded his head.
"Inu-san: Sharingan no Kakashi!" she said with a smile, although her eyes were radiating straight into Kakashi's soul. "Hatake Kakashi, the man who's mastered over a thousand jutsu; the smut-wielding copy-nin, and my nearly constant stalker!"
The girl saw a yellow flash just before she was smacked in the face, hard. Opening her eyes, she began to tremble. "What... what the hell is this?" Medical alarms began going off as her blood pressure and heart rate spiked to extreme levels.
"Do not threaten my student," Minato hissed. Jiraiya-sama pulled the furious Hokage away from the girl he was hovering over. Tsunade was yelling at him to get back as she tended to her patient, trying to get the girl to calm down.
The little blonde herself was staring at the man in front of her - her hero - in horror. "No! No, no! No, no, no," she continued, before trying quite obviously to get herself out of a genjutsu. Closing her eyes tight, she began yelling "Kai!" repeatedly, as she brought her hands together in the correct hand sign as tears fell down her cheeks.
"Who are you?" The Yondaime snarled, trying to regain control of himself. Suddenly the girl stopped her wailing. She stared vacantly ahead.
She breathed in heavily as her eyes steeled - although she refused to look at her captor's faces. "Uzumaki Naruto, Academy Registration Number 012607. By the Shodai's Second Law, subsection C, that is all I am required to give you as a future shinobi and citizen of Konohagakure." She looked up at the Sannin and snarled at them. "One more thing: kiss my ass."
"Find Yamanaka Inoichi," the Hokage ordered as he withheld a shiver. Ibiki left the room, feeling like he just avoided nearly more insanity than even he could handle.
"Minato," Jiraiya said gently, still holding his student's arm. The Hokage shook his head as Tsunade confirmed that the prisoner's bloodwork should come back any time. He was gone in a yellow flash.
Kakashi sat with his mouth still open underneath his mask.
His pack… the way the girl looked like sensei and Kushina-nee, he suddenly found upon continuing to stare at her… It made sense, but it was impossible, right? How? How could…? No, this couldn't be his little sister! Could it? He continued to watch as the blonde was put under anesthesia without further problems. He needed to find his sensei.