we are actually just glazing over him having a guinea pig
Wendy looked around the group, letting out a quiet exhale. “Trent,” she prompted quietly.
“Trent Boyett.”
Ike nodded slightly, eyeing his copper-haired manager carefully. “Ike Broflovski.”
Kyle’s brows furrowed, participating in the silent conversation no one else was privy to. “Kyle Broflovski.”
“Rebecca Cotswolds!”
“Christophe,” he muttered around his cigarette. “DeLourne.”
“Clyde Donovan.”
“Stan Marsh.”
Kenny tossed an arm around Clyde from his spot on Tweek’s desk. “Kenny McCormick.”
Dovakein Soma gives Wendy a nod of acknowledgement, continuing with their eternal vow of silence.
“Bebe Stevens!”
“Kevin Stoley.”
Marjorine leaned into her girlfriend with a bright smile. “Marjorine Stotch.”
“We-”
“Stripe,” Craig cut in flatly, pulling up his hat slightly to show off the guinea pig poking out.
Wendy looked at him, suppressing a laugh. “Wendy Testaburger.”
“HELLO?? WE ARE NOT JUST GLAZING OVER YOU HAVING A GUINEA PIG!” Clyde shot back.
Craig shrugged. “This is Stripe. I think Damien’s next.”
Damien laughed into his hand. As he pulled away and looked at his palm, his face fell. “Damien Thorne.”
Tweek blinked hard, sending a tear rolling down his cheek. “Tweek Tweak.”
The door flew open. “TAMMY FUCKING—Oh my god, is that Stripe??”
Craig nodded, offering her a half smile.
“No shit.” Her smile grew. “Is that why they threw all that shit at me??” She spun around, running out the door before anyone could actually answer her. She reemerged with a box that had bits of colored metal sticking out, eyes scanning the room. Tammy frowned when she realized they were already down a person. She passed the box off to Tweek who was mid wiping the tears off his face. “I gotta check something.”
The group was quick to fall into chaos, trying to figure out how to set up the cage the moment the huge box was placed onto Tweek’s desk. He exchanged a look with Craig and Craig nodded slightly. He walked over calmly, just putting his hands out.
Craig cleared his throat, nodding again with a weak smile as he plucked the small animal from under his hat, gently placing it in Tweek’s hands. Tweek looked like he was about to explode as he pulled Stripe closer, nuzzling him slightly. “I missed you so much, you dumbass rat,” he muttered, tears slipping out all over again.
—
Tammy knocked on the door of the janitor’s closet three times, the first two in rapid succession, then a third after a beat, as she always did. Trent opened the door, lit cigarette hanging from his mouth. “What.”
“I can’t just wanna hang out with my favorite coworker??”
He narrowed his eyes at her. “No.”
Tammy cleared her throat, flushing slightly as her eyes hit the floor. “Okay. Well, can I ask for your help with something?”
Trent let out a huff. “Clean up your own shit, Tammy.”
She looked back up at him, shaking off whatever shyness she had as she grabbed onto his hands. “TRENTPLEAASEEEEE.”
He took a step back, reaching for a broom that was just past the door frame before passing it to her.
“Not that kinda mess,” she said desperately.
Trent’s brows unfurrowed slightly, lips quirking up. “What’d you do?” he asked with mild intrigue.
Tammy made a face. “I may or may have not accidentally mass sent an email to, like, everyone in the office email system. One that was meant for someone it did not get sent to. That is very embarrassing. And will probably get used against me.”
A laugh bubbled out of the blonde. “How do you even do that??”
She dragged her hands across her face. “I don’t know? God hates me!”
“Okay, Christophe,” he teased.
Tammy grabbed onto his shoulders this time. “Fucking help me before they stop being distracted by the damn pig!!” she whisper-shouted.
Trent laughed again before pausing. “Wait. Is this like… You’re serious?”
Her eyes widened slightly as she nodded.
“Oh, god fucking damn it.” He rolled his eyes, letting out a frustrated sigh. “Alright. Fine.”
—
Majority of the group had commuted to the breakroom, all fighting as they set up the cage from hell, as it seemed. The only people missing were Tammy, Trent, Tweek, and Craig.
“We really have no instructions?!” Bebe complained.
“Nope! It’s all intuition and vibes,” Kenny shot back.
“Why are we not making Ike do this then?!” Clyde complained.
Ike sipped his mug, not moving from his seat on the countertop. “Because it’s no fun that way.”
—
Tweek sat on Craig’s desk with a napping Stripe on his lap. One hand was lazily petting the guinea pig in question, the other was under Craig’s hat. “Babe, talk to me.”
Craig didn’t pick his head up from his arms. He just shook it slightly.
“What happened last week?” he whispered.
“I feel like I’m going crazy.”
“Talk to me, please,” Tweek pleaded quietly.
“I can’t stop seeing it,” he muttered.
“Seeing what?”
“Wen—” He halted mid-response. Craig looks, glossy eyes narrowing before he puts his head back down. “We’ll talk about it after work if I can find you.”
—
Tammy and Trent slipped out of the closet, trying to breeze past their group of coworkers in the breakroom. The only person who even noticed was Ike. He made direct eye contact with Trent, raising an eyebrow.
Trent shook his head slightly.
Ike shot him a smirk in response, giving him the tiniest hint of a nod as Tammy pulled him out of the room.
The rest of the office seemed to be completely abandoned. Tammy pulled Trent into the media room first. “Take Clyde’s computer! I have Bebe!”
“What about Marj?”
“Marj doesn’t have her own computer, she just uses Bebe’s on a separate browser.”
He laughed, walking towards Clyde’s computer. “Seriously??”
“Marj usually just uses her phone. Something about computers being for snobs.”
“Wow.”
Tammy opened up Chrome first. Bebe’s email was already open. She found what she was looking for and immediately whipped her head up. “Wait!”
Trent paused. “Yes?”
“Just… Please don’t click into it, okay? Just delete it.”
“Planned on it,” he responded, looking back down.
Tammy quickly deleted the email before switching to Marjorine’s browser.
“From you, no subject line, right?”
“Right,” she responded quietly, moving the mouse over to delete the email in question. “Eighteen to go,” she muttered. “Alright! IT’s next.”
Trent nodded, letting her take the lead into the IT office. Tammy was in and out of Kenny’s computer in under a minute. Trent, however, seemed to be struggling. “Um…”
Tammy walked over. “What’s up?”
“Christophe’s computer has a password,” he muttered.
Tammy looks, swallowing thickly. She looked back at the computer, frowning. “What the fuck?”
“I don’t…”
“Try cigarettes.”
Trent shot her a glare. She raised a brow. He sighed, typing in ‘cigarettes’, only to get an error message. “Got any other bright ideas?”
“I love france. One word, no punctuation.”
A laugh tumbled out of him. “Shut the fuck up.”
“Try it! We’re on a time crunch!”
“Okay, okay.”
They were met with another error message. Tammy dragged her hands across her face. “Fuck.”
“Mmmm. ‘I hate God’, Trent muttered as he typed.” He cleared his throat. “Well ‘pparently he doesn’t hate god enough to make it his password,” he joked.
Tammy swatted at his arm. “This is serious!”
“I’m thinkin’!”
“Cigaretteworld!”
“Okaaay. Cigaretttteworrrld.”
Tammy’s lips quirked up slightly as she watched him talk to himself as he typed.
“What about just France?” he offered.
“Go crazy! I’m thinking!”
Trent proceeded to go crazy.
Nothing was working.
“What about Rebecca?” he muttered.
Tammy whipped her head up, looking at him with wide eyes. “Yes! Yes! That has to be it.”
“Okay,” he sighed out. “Rebeh–wait. How do you spell her name?”
“R-E-B-E-C-C-A! Dipshit!”
He laughed, lazily swatting at her shoulder. “Shut up.”
They were met with another error message.
“Shit,” the two muttered in unison.
“Should we circle back?” Trent added.
“No! We’re onto something! Wait.” She started walking back towards Kenny’s computer.
“What are you–”
“Shutup! If I lose my thought we’re dead!”
“Whatever you say, princess.”
He watched her aggressively type on Kenny’s computer for a moment. “Try… Daffodil.”
“What?”
“Capital D! Go!”
Trent proceeded to type, quietly muttering to himself.
Tammy looked at him hopefully.
“Holy shit. We’re in.”
“Let’s fucking go!” she chimed, shuffling over.
“How did you know that??”
“I’ve heard him call her that sometimes. He says it in French.”
“You speak French?”
“I mean… Ever so vaguely.”
“So then tell me what I’m looking at,” he responded quietly as the two continued to stare at the document in front of them.
She looked over the document for a moment, eyes flitting across the page before she started to read, barely a whisper. “Last week was fucking terrifying… So much so, I’ve made up my mind. Things are getting worse and now… all I can worry about is you. I’ll do… anything to protect you.” She swallowed thickly. “I’m not…” She looked at Trent nervously. “I’ll tell you what the rest says later,” she muttered.
“Okay, yeah,” he responded, wearing his own look of nervous confusion. “Let me just–”
“I’ll take care of it. Go start cracking open finance.”
Trent nodded, leaving the room without another word.
—
“Okay, seriously, HOW THE FUCK DO THESE CONNECT??” Bebe fumed. She shot a glare in Ike’s direction as he continued to just laugh at them.
“Okay, the purple has to connect to the yellow,” Stan tried.
“The purple can’t connect to the yellow, fucking idiot!” Clyde argued. “Those are two totally different colors!”
The group’s chatter all halted as they all looked at Clyde. Kenny let out a quiet sigh, trying to suppress a laugh. “Babe, seriously?”
Clyde made a face.
“Please repeat that,” Marjorine requested through giggles.
“I sense I have made an error,” Clyde responded slowly.
“Okay, what if we stop bullying Clyde for being a fucking idiot and try connecting the yellow and the purple?” Christophe tried.
Rebecca nudged him. “Don’t be mean.”
He leaned into her slightly. “Okay, you be mean then.
“Clyde stop being a fucking idiot,” Rebecca said with a laugh, elliciting a dramatic gasp from the rest of the group. “I vote we try purple and yellow.”
Ike laid down across the countertop, dropping his face into his hands as he laughed himself to tears.
Wendy tried in vain to recover. “Purple and yellow, please!”
“I’m going!” Bebe shot back.
—
Trent walked in the main room, seeing Tammy at Dovakien’s desk, quietly getting rid of the evidence. Her posture was stiff. “You okay?” he tried.
She wiped at her face before spinning around. “Yeah, dude. Totally good.”
“Okay. Who’s left?”
“Tweek, Kevin, Stan, an’...” She nodded her head towards the row.
“I’ll start at—
—
Tammy was carefully getting rid of the email on Kevin’s computer as Trent got rid of the email on Stan’s computer. “Who’s next?” he asked.
“Wendy and Craig.”
“What about Kyle?”
“I’m technically in his office. I’ll get it last before I sit down.”
“Okay.”
“Just come with me and keep watch.”
—
“Okay, blue and red, final answer,” Kyle tried.
He and Stan exchanged a look. “No. Green and red,” Stan challenged.
“ALL WE HAVE LEFT IS GREEN, RED, BLUE, AND YELLOW! WE’RE SO CLOSE! YOU TWO ARE NOT HELPING!” Clyde complained.
“Am I doing green and red or red and blue?” Bebe whined.
“Red and blue,” Kevin chimed in.
“Guys, it’s fucking red-blue-green-yellow,” Marjorine complained.
“No it’s not!” Clyde challenged.
“It’s yellow-blue-red-green,” Kenny interjected.
“It’s not,” Ike added lazily.
There was a collective groan.
—
Tammy quickly walked out of Wendy’s office, shooting Trent a small smile. “It’s done.”
“Okay, Craig and that’s it, right?”
“Yup!”
The two walked over, Trent stopping right outside the first door and leaning on the wall. Tammy slipped into the front room before offering a cautionary knock and opening the door. She froze when she realized Tweek, Craig, and Stripe were all inside.
“Oh… Hey.”
Tweek shot her a look. “What.”
“I…”
“Babe, stop,” Craig muttered.
Tweek looks. He looked back at Tammy, offering her an awkward smile. “Sorry. What’s up?”
“I… I would like a favor.”
Tweek offered her a nod.
“I need to delete something from Craig’s computer,” she said bluntly.
“What the–”
“Okay,” Craig said quietly, wheeling his chair to the side. “Go crazy.”
Tammy circled around his desk, opening up his email.
“What are you deleting?” Tweek pressed.
“I accidentally sent something out that wasn’t supposed to go out.”
“You sent it?”
“...Yeah.”
“I see.”
Tammy ignored him. “Craig, are you okay?” she asked quietly, absentmindedly scrolling as she looked for her target.
He shook his head slightly.
“Babe,” Tweek whispered.
Tammy didn’t press it though, she just nodded. “Found it.” She deleted the email and took a small step back. “Good luck today.”
Tweek offered her a small smile. “You too.”
Tammy walked back out, grabbing Trent by the arm. “You good?” he asked.
“Did not realize they were in there,” she muttered.
“Oh shit. Did you delete it?”
“Yup.”
“So that’s everyone then, right?”
—
The group was celebrating their victory of finally putting together the elaborate guinea pig cage, when they realized they had no guinea pig.
“Where’s Stripe?” Clyde asked anxiously.
“Better question, where’s Tucker?” Majorine retorted with a smirk.
“Damn it, Craig!”
—
Tammy and Trent slipped past their coworkers who were all but wielding pitchforks and torches to go retrieve Stripe. “So…” Trent started awkwardly. “We got everyone…”
“Yeah.”
“Who was it for then?” He sounded unsure, like he didn’t know if he wanted to know the answer.
“Oh.” Tammy’s eyes trailed towards the ground. “Um. It was for you.”
“Oh.” Trent caught the corner of his lip in between his teeth, not looking at her.
“Thanks for helping me today,” she offered quietly.
He let out a quiet exhale. “Be more careful with your shit, Tammy.”
“Right.”