Chapter 1
Itachi woke up to screaming.
Yes, screaming.
Not like “I-need-help” screaming, just screaming because hell, they can scream!
In this case, the screaming was coming from downstairs, where Sasuke probably either set the entire kitchen on fire or was just bored.
So Itachi groggily sat up, wiped the sleep from his eyes, and shoved his glasses on. And then had a coughing fit. For a whole minute.
Hey, it's not his fault he was half-blind and was constantly coughing all the time!
Itachi then put on a shirt that had a red cloud decorating the front, and spent about another minute looking for his necklace. He figured Sasuke took it and gave up.
Pulling on long black pants and socks, Itachi stood up and walked into the restroom to brush his teeth.
Screaming is what pulled Itachi away from staring at a bottle of nail polish intensely, and he quickly put it back in the drawer.
Running downstairs, Itachi wondered why Sasuke was being so childish. That was answered when he reached the kitchen and saw Sasuke fighting his cats.
Groaning, he pulled Shari and Gan away from his brother, who looked extremely insulted.
“Control your stupid fucking cats! This is why I hate every pet equally.” Huffed Sasuke.
“Well if you didn’t mess with them maybe then you wouldn’t be scratched.” Itachi countered, letting his cats go, and having another coughing fit.
Sasuke gave an extremely sassy “OkAy, bRoThEr.” And walked off, already taking out Airpods from his pocket and lazily texting with the other hand.
Then Itachi remembered why he was even talking to Sasuke.
“Wait, Sasuke. Did you take my necklace?”
Sasuke whipped around, surprised.
“No, I didn’t. Why are you asking?”
“Well, just thought you did.”
“Whatever.”
Itachi watched his brother’s silhouette slowly walk around the halls and away.
He paused to push his slipping glasses up.
Well, this was certainly new. His brother not taking his things! Sasuke, who behaved like a greedy cat(although he sure hated them), didn’t take his necklace!
He wondered if he accidentally left it at Kisame’s house.
Alright, he’ll be the first to admit that it was hard keeping a relationship secret, especially when you have Sasuke as your brother. And Itachi was new and bad at love.
So it wasn’t really a surprise that Sasuke found out one week after Kisame asked him out that they were dating.
Itachi self-consciously smacked himself.
Lately, it had been a habit of his to leave things at people’s houses. Last week, he had left his phone at Deidara’s house. And Deidara...Wasn’t on very good terms with him, so it had been extremely embarrassing opening the door again and asking Deidara to help get his phone. Luckily, Sasori was there, so it went considerably quicker.
Sasori was spending a lot of time at Deidara’s house lately.
Itachi grinned to himself, and at just the right moment, his phone vibrated.
Kisame: Heyyy
Kisame: You online?
Itachi smiled and opened his phone.
Itachi: hey there
Itachi: <3
Kisame: aww hi <3
Itachi: Anything happening?
Kisame: i mean, nothing dangerous, haha
Itachi rolled his eyes, but was still grinning.
Kisame: Just wanted to ask u…
Kisame: Do u know Ikea?
Itachi: yeah, am procrastinating on going
Kisame: wanna go with the gang?
Kisame: lord knows most of them need to move it like us ;)
Itachi: BAHA
Kisame: so, i’ll invite them then?
Itachi: sure
Kisame: okay! Come over to my house, i’ll tell the others to come too so we can go together
Itachi: okay, love you
Kisame: love you tooo!
Itachi closed his phone, and ran off to get Sasuke.
“Sasuke! C’mon, we’re going to Ikea!”
“I’m not going!”
“Naruto’s coming.”
Sasuke then looked up from his phone.
“Er-Fineeeee, I’m only coming because I want to get a new desk.” He mumbled, putting his phone in his pocket.
“Sure...Let’s go.”
“Ughhh.”
Itachi ran outside, tugging on his shoes and tying his hair up in a ponytail. Sasuke slowly put on his shoes and lightly brushed his hair.
They walked to the motorcycle parked outside. Sasuke jumped into the sidecar, and Itachi put on a helmet and started the engine.
After almost falling off the motorcycle twice because of Sasuke, Itachi killed the engine, and parked in front of Kisame’s house.
Kisame opened the door before he even knocked.
“Hey, ‘Tachi! And Sasuke!”
Itachi hugged him while Sasuke made a disgusted face.
Kisame laughed.
“Soon, Sasuke, you’ll be doing this with Naruto, so don’t act like you hate it now!”
Sasuke coughed, spitting out his Coke.
Itachi laughed.
“I’m assuming Deidara and Sasori will arrive first? They usually always do, thanks to Sasori, anyway.”
“Yep, and I’m guessing Hidan and Kakuzu will be totally late.”
“Because they’ll be too busy making out.”
They both burst into laughter as Sasuke gave them a “have-you-lost your-mind” look and cleared his throat.
“Who will bring Naruto?”
“Yahiko, Nagato, and Konan will. Why are you so concerned about Naruto anyway?”
Kisame lightly pecked Itachi on the cheek.
“Because Naruto’s his bOyFrIeND.”
Sasuke turned angry red.
“Naruto's not my shitting boyfriend! Shut it!”
“Sasuke, be nice to mine.”
“UGH!”
Sasuke huffed and trudged inside the house.
“Sasuke, we are just waiting for the others to arrive, so don’t go inside.”
He got a swear word in return.
Kisame laughed.
“Little brothers are always a challenge.”
Itachi sighed.
“At least I have you.”
Kisame smiled softly.
“Right back at you.”
They hugged each other, and remained like that until a horn blared.
“OI! YOU TWO LOVEBIRDS DONE NOW?”
Itachi looked at the street.
And Sasori and Deidara were waving out of a car.
“Hey, puppet obsessed freak and the blonde girl.” Sasuke waved back mockingly.
Deidara blew a raspberry.
“I’m a boy, Sasuke-cHaN. And Sasori is not a freak.”
Sasori beamed at Deidara.
“Thanks for that. Is anyone else here?”
“No, you’re first again.”
Deidara chuckled.
“Of course! We will ALWAYS be first, MUAHAHAA.”
Itachi coughed.
“Remember that time you were late because-”
“STOP FLEXING YOUR GREAT MEMORY ON US!” Deidara screeched.
Sasori didn’t really say anything, just looked at Deidara.
Itachi smirked. Sasori was way more of a hopeless fool in love than him. Especially since he hasn’t even asked Deidara out yet.
“So, Ikea, huh?” Deidara was saying.
“Yeah, Ikea! You know, the giant maze of a store?” Kisame replied.
“Duh, I know. But why are we randomly going there?”
“To buy things?”
Itachi cupped his hand next to Kisame’s ears.
“To get our hopeless friend to go out with each other.”
Kisame laughed.
“‘Tachi, you crack me up.”
Sasori was glancing at Sasuke, who was clearly trying to not look worried but failing miserably.
“Naruto?”
Sasuke turned around at the sound of Naruto but disappointedly looked away again when no happy, cheerful blonde boy showed up.
Deidara snickered.
“DEFINITELY WORRIED ABOUT YOUR BOYFRIEND, HUH?”
“Shut up!”
“GOOD COMEBACK!”
“Shove off, ugly blonde bitch.”
Sasori defensively locked eyes with Sasuke.
“So desperate for a comeback that you resort to a low curse word? How aMaZiNG.”
Sasuke, clearly defeated, went back to texting.
Sasori blew out a breath and stared out the car window.
A car horn honked, and a red car sped out from the other street.
Konan waved, her usual white rose on her head replaced with a pink tulip, and wearing a light grey dress with flowers over it.
Yahiko was sitting next to her, wearing the usual red cloud t-shirt and black pants, holding one of her hands.
Nagato was in the driver’s seat, looking extremely sleep deprived but happy. Wearing a white long-sleeved jacket and some greyish black pants, cut at the ankles.
Naruto looked out of the passenger’s seat, brightening when he saw Sasuke. He opened the window and waved an orange-clad arm out.
The car parked, and Naruto rushed out and hugged Sasuke, who immediately said about half a dozen curse words and hid his face.
Itachi loved seeing Sasuke embarrassed, as he rarely was, being Sasuke.
Yahiko and Konan were tittering in the car, and Nagato had what looked like a hint of a smile on his face.
Deidara snorted.
“Seems like your little brother needs to...move it, if you get what I mean.”
Itachi cleared his throat.
“I could say the same to you.”
Deidara turned scarlet, and promptly went back to painting his nails.
Sasuke had finally gotten Naruto off of him and was now staring at the street, eyes squinted.
“Is it just me, or are three people riding on a giant insect?”
Nagato finally opened his mouth.
“You do know that they love to make a flashy entrance.”
Konan nodded, although Sasuke couldn’t see her.
Sasori banged his head on the car roof trying to look at the bug monster thing.
“Eh, I can’t feel it so I’m fine.”
Deidara closed his bottle of nail polish and turned to look at Sasori.
“You sure, danna?”
Sasori nodded.
“I’m fine.”
Then immediately jumped on the roof of the car so Deidara couldn’t see his face.
The bug monster came to a stop roughly two hundred feet from where the rest of them were, and vanished.
Fuu flew off amidst the smoke, grinning broadly. A silver haired man followed her, albeit without wings. The taller man also followed.
“Hi! Sorry we came on Chomei, we were just running a bit late.” Fuu chriped, not losing her grin on her face.
“Not a bit late, about ten minutes late.” muttered Kakuzu, who was eyeing Hidan with either anger or regret that he brought him.
Hidan stuck his tongue out at him.
Kisame whispered to Itachi:
“I’m glad I didn’t get assigned Hidan for my partner.”
“Same. As much as I feel sorry for Kakuzu, it’s still a great source of entertainment.”
Sasori was talking to Fuu, who everyone was well acquainted with, as she was Kakuzu’s daughter.
“...And then the house caught on fire, but father put it out, and then we were running really late, so I had to summon Chomei to get us here in time, and then father and Mr. Hidan had an argument that literally sounded like flirting, and then we arrived, and now I’m talking to you!”
Sasori looked extremely amused; Fuu could either be painfully shy or chatter so much that you needed to shut her up.
Ironically, Kakuzu and Hidan were in the middle of another argument as Fuu talked.
Kisame looked around.
“That’s everyone, right?”
Yahiko shook his head, then remembered Kisame couldn’t see him.
“No, Itachi’s cousin said that they were going in another car.”
“But is everyone here everyone?”
“Ohhhh, yep.”
“Alright then. I’ll go drive my car out, and we can go. Unless you all prefer going toge-”
Kisame’s words were cut out as everyone groaned at the memories of past road trips. Itachi faintly remembered one where they barely even started and already had to go home because an argument resulted in people nearly getting killed.
“Alright, alright. Itachi, Sasuke, and maybe Naruto, follow me. You guys stay here.”
Naruto jumped up.
“I’m going with Sasuke, dattebayo!”
Kisame smiled knowingly at him.
They went in Kisame’s car, and started the trip to Ikea.
Strangely, all of them were very subdued during the trip. Even Naruto was just sitting there, staying out the window.
Itachi rubbed his forehead.
They probably were saving their energy for Ikea…