Chapter 1
Salem, September 17, 2008
Rio was packing all of her belongings, all her hard work, all the castings she did, the classes for acting, finally she was making to Los Angeles, only that in her dreams she was going with Agatha, but now she would have to face her dream without the most important person of her live. She couldn’t stop thinking of the last conversation she had with her.
two weeks ago.
-Why don’t you want me, Agatha? I thought that you loved me-. Rio said sobbing, sitting on the couch of her apartment.
-I do love you Rio, but my mother wants me here, wants me to take charge of her antique’s shop and wants me to marry a man, I can’t disappoint her. This has been fun but it has to end. I’m not a lesbian Rio, you know that.
-Yeah, because someone who’s not a lesbian or bi would fuck my brains out every chance she got.
-Don’t talk like that.
-We were on a relationship Agatha, how do you expect I would react? That I would be happy and say “sure Agatha, it was just sex, you can go now and fuck the mayor’s son, marry him and have his children” that is pathetic Agatha, you don’t like men, you’re going to be miserable.
-Shut up Rio, you don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m not like you, I’m not a lesbian, I don’t fancy women.
-And what I am?
-A distraction, be happy in Los Angeles, I hope you succeed.
Agatha glanced one last time at Rio, and turned around, she couldn’t stay one more second there or she would start crying, but before she could disappear from Rio’s apartment, Rio said
-One day, you will regret this, one day you will look back and wish that you never broke up with me and when that happens Agatha, I will be long gone.
Congratulations, my love, you’ve broke my heart today, but one day I will broke yours.
Agatha stood still with her back to Rio, tears sliding from her eyes, quiet sobs leaving her mouth.
-You can go now Agatha, good luck with your life, babe.
And with that Agatha left without turning back and then Rio swears that she felt how her heart broke in to pieces.
Rio looked one last time at her apartment and closed the door, leaving her keys inside. Her parents were outside putting all her things on her car.
She stepped outside hoping to see Agatha there, hoping that she thought about it in those two weeks, hoping that she would go with her, but she wasn’t there waiting for her, she didn’t even come to say goodbye.
-I’m going to miss you my sweet girl-. her mother said hugging her.- you will be a huge star one day, we’re so proud of you Rio.
Her father came over and patted her on the back.
-You're going to be okay, kid, and you're going to succeed. Your old father will always be proud of you, no matter what happens.
She cried while hugging her parents one last time before she jumped on her car and started her road towards Los Angeles, never turning back.
Los Angeles, September 13, 2024
The sound of her phone woke Rio up, the girl had had a bad night, and if she was honest a bad life since the moment Agatha Harkness disappeared from her life, of course work-wise things were going well, no, they were going great. The first series she did when she arrived in Los Angeles was a secondary role, but the television and film industry soon realized the great talent that Rio had as an actress, at thirty-six she was a prestigious actress, with two Oscars and five Golden Globes. But her love life could never recover, Agatha had left an irreparable mark on her, Rio never looked back, she never returned to Salem, but her heart could never forget Agatha.
That's not to say that she didn't have women she had sex with regularly, they satisfied her, yes. But if she was honest with herself it was only out of spite. Sixteen years had passed and she still missed her, there wasn't a day that Agatha wasn't on her mind and she'd be lying if she said she hadn't looked up what had become of her.
Just like she told her, she took over her mother's shop and married Thomas, the mayor's son. She'd seen pictures of her with her husband and her son Nicholas, she came out smiling, but Rio knew Agatha, and those smiles never reached her eyes, they were empty smiles, expressionless, sad smiles.
Groaning she took her phone and responded.
-I swear to God Lilia, it’s eight am, what would possibly my manager want at this fucking time?
-I’m sorry Rio, your Dad has been calling you since yesterday and you didn’t pick up, he called me. I’ve been trying to contact you since an hour ago now. Call him, it’s…it’s an emergency, darling.
Rio frowned at that. Weird she thought, she saw their parents just two weeks ago, they came to Los Angeles to pay a visit to her.
-Okay, thanks Lilia, and sorry.
-Don’t worry kid, you have time out now, you just finished filming your last movie and you deserve some time. You don’t have new projects till march of next year.
-Yeah, yeah I know, I’m going to call my dad now, call you later, okay?
-Okay, and Rio? I’m really sorry-. and with that Lilia hung up.
Rio dialed her father's phone number.
-Dad? Lilia told me that you've called me several times, is something wrong?-. Rio asked nervously.
-Rio honey, I'm sorry to have to say this over the phone, your mother had a car accident yesterday, I tried to contact you, she had surgery and they tried to save her, but she died this morning, she didn't survive the surgery.
Upon hearing this, Rio's breathing accelerated, she couldn't think clearly, it couldn't be true.
-No, no Dad it can't be, you were here two weeks ago, it can't be that she's not here anymore.
-The wake is in two days and the burial in three, are you coming? I need you here, I can't take care of this alone. I know you haven't been back in sixteen years but please come. Lilia told me that you don’t have more work till next march.
-Of course I'm coming back-. Rio said sobbing.- How could I not.
September 14, 2024.
The next day when the plane landed at Boston airport, she felt a lump form in her throat. Her mother was alive the day before yesterday. It felt unreal that she was now about to face her burial and the reality that she would never hear her mother's voice, her laughter, she would never again feel the security that she felt when her mother hugged her. She felt numb, like this wasn’t real, she kept pinching her arm on the plane, hoping to be a nightmare and she would woke up at any second, but that never happened and she was now hugging her father, both crying in the middle of the airport.
The forty minutes back to the town where she grew up were completely silent, it wasn't until almost reaching her childhood home that her father spoke.
-I know I promised you not to mention her name again, I hope you don't get mad at me but when Agatha found out about the accident and her passing she wanted to be at the wake and the burial, I didn't feel strong enough to refuse her, she has helped me with the preparations for everything.
Rio sighed not glancing at her father.
-It’s going to be hard enough with facing mom’s death, I don’t want to deal with having to see Agatha with her happy family, dad. I don’t want to see her or her husband.
-She’s not going to bring her husband, just her child, Nicholas, he’s a good kid. She wants to be there, she cared about your mother and she wants to be there for you.
-I’m not going to engage any conversation with her, I don’t want to talk to her dad. But if you want her there, fine. Mom cared about her too anyway.
-Why don’t you talk with her? I’m sure you want to listen to what she has to say to you.
-I don’t care what she has to say, I don’t want to hear anything she has to say. She had sixteen years to do so, and now it’s not the time.
-Honey…-.her dad tried.
-No dad, no. I’m not over her and I never will but that doesn’t mean that I want to talk to her or see her, she hurt me deeply.
-I know but she said..
Rio interrupted her father.
-You talked to her about me? Unbelievable, that’s fucking amazing dad, honestly great time to bring this shit back.
As her father pulled in front of their house, Rio stormed from the car into the house.
Her father knocked at her room.
-Honey listen please, I’m sorry, if you don’t want to talk to her that’s fine, I understand. She will be here with Nicholas tomorrow morning to help us, okay? Just try to be polite.
She scoffed at that, she was very pissed and very angry.
-Yeah, sure dad. I’ll be polite with my fucking ex who happens to deny she’s a lesbian and is married with a fucking asshole and with a fucking teenager.
-The only thing I ask of you is that you don't swear, that's enough for me.
-I’ll try.
Salem, September 15, 2024.
Rio didn't sleep a wink all night, her head kept spinning around her mother and Agatha. Her heart ached for her mother's death and for Agatha. She didn't want to have to face this.
It was seven in the morning, tired of tossing and turning in her bed she got up to drink as much caffeine as she needed to get through the shitty day that was coming her way.
An hour later she heard her doorbell ring, she got up and went to the backyard of her house, coffee and cigarette in hand she sat on the porch steps. When she heard the door open she turned around thinking it was her father to tell her of Agatha's arrival, she was speechless when she saw her standing behind her, watching her with a look she hadn't received from her in sixteen years.
-I didn't know you had started smoking again, Rio.-Agatha said as she sat next to her, close but at the same time far away, and it hurt to have her here but not really having her.
-Is that the first thing you're going to tell me after sixteen years, Agatha?- Rio said without even looking at her, she couldn't.
-I was just trying to make you laugh. I'm so sorry about your mother's death.
-Thank you.
-I've followed your career Rio, I've seen each and every series or movie you've appeared in.
-Thanks, I guess? What do you want me to say to that?
-I just wanted you to know, to know that I haven't forgotten you, can we please talk?
Rio threw her cigarette up and headed inside her house. Without looking at Agatha, she said.
-Now is not the time, and I don't want to hear what you have to say to me either.
But before she could disappear into her house, she heard Agatha's soft voice.
-My mother died two months ago, it was the same day I asked Thomas for divorce.
Hearing that, Rio paused for a second.
-I don't care, Agatha.
And with that she walked into the house, her father was in the kitchen talking to Nicholas, the boy turned to her, extending his hand and said.
-Hi, I'm Nicholas Scratch. I'm so sorry about the loss of your mother.
Rio shook his hand smiling at him.
-Thanks kid.
Agatha walked in behind her, Rio didn't look at her, but Nicholas seemed to notice that something was wrong with his mother.
-Are you okay, momma?
-Yes, honey- said Agatha, wiping her tears with her hand. -I just got a little emotional seeing Rio.
She snorted when she heard Agatha, but didn't say anything.
-Yeah, sure, I understand. You always talk about her, I'm sure you two have a lot to talk about- said Nicholas innocently.
Rio pressed her lips together, uncomfortable and desperately wanting to get away from this.
-Dad, I'm going to go upstairs to change before the other guests and the coffin with mom arrive.
-Yeah, sure, honey. We're going to start getting everything ready.
She was heading towards the stairs when she heard Nicholas voice.
-I’m sorry if saying this is bad timing, but I really like your movies Rio. I’ll always watch them with mom. She says that she always knew that you would be a great actress.
-Nicky now it’s not the time-. Agatha said.
Rio turned around smiling at Nicholas, her father was right, he was a sweet kid.
-It’s okay Agatha, thanks kid. It’s really sweet of you to say that. I appreciate it.
She went upstairs, closing the door, finally being alone, she let her tears running free from her eyes. How could Agatha drop a bomb like that, it was the wake of her mother and she just appeared and said that she was divorcing her husband. What’s that supposed to mean, why would she said that now.
A soft knock on her door startled her.
-Rio, it’s dad. Can I come in?
-Yeah, sure.
-Are you alright honey? I’m sorry if this is too much for you. I should’ve let her go to you.
-She said she’s divorcing Thomas. Did you knew about that?
-Yes, people in town are talking about that.
-Why didn’t you tell me?
-When you left you said that you didn’t wanted to know nothing about her.
-Yes I know. Do you know why she’s divorcing him?
-Well, I’m sure that not having her mother around anymore was a pretty good reason to do so.
-Yeah, sure. She divorced because she was free from her mother right? Bullshit.
-Rio honey, you know how her mother was. She was really trapped. I didn’t tell you anything because you didn’t want to hear anything from her, but she really struggled this years, Nicky is the only person that kept her alive.
-What do you mean?
-I’m not the one who you should talk about this, but she wasn’t happy in that marriage, your mother and I could see that since the moment you left but we never engaged any conversation with her till two months ago. She came here and told us about her mother’s passing and her divorce and well, she explained everything to us.
-And?
-You have to talk with her Rio, listen to her, if you don’t want to hear anything about her after you know her story, that’s fine, but this is the closure that you need.
-I need to change dad, but I’ll think about it.
-Sure honey, I’ll be downstairs with them.
Twenty minutes later she went down to the living room, the table with the food was set, the closed coffin with her mother inside was placed in the room next to the living room. Some guests had arrived and at the back of the room Agatha was with their childhood friends, Alice and Jen. Rio was startled to notice someone holding her hand.
-It's normal to feel overwhelmed in a situation like this. You can look for me if you feel uncomfortable and we can go to the patio to get some fresh air, my mother has told me so much about you that I feel like I know you, I can be your friend today Rio-. said Nicholas smiling.
-Thank you very much Nicholas, really.
-You can call me Nicky, we are friends now.
-How old are you Nicky?
-I'm twelve years old.
-You’re very mature for your age kid.
-My mother says the same-. Nicky said laughing.
Rio smiled, his laugh was really sweet, it reminded her of Agatha’s. She glanced at her and saw that she was watching them right back, smiling.
-Do you need a hug? Mom says that a hug can fix everything.
-Yes Nicky, I really need a hug.
Nicky smiled at her and hugged her tightly, a tiny tear escaped from her right eye.
Rio separated from the boy, caressed his hair smiling at him.
-I'm going to the next room to say goodbye to my mother, okay? Why don't you go find yours? If I need a friend, I promise to find you.
Nicky nodded to Rio, smiling.
-Okay, Rio.
She watched as he turned around towards where Agatha was. She saw as Agatha smiled to her son, hugging him and kissing his head. Rio turned around and entered the room where her mother’s body was resting, her father was there with his hand on the coffin, talking to her mother. She approached him and took his free hand.
-I think I’m going to stay for a while Dad, I don’t want to leave you alone, do you want me to stay for a while?
-I would really like for you to stay, but I understand if you don’t want to.
-You not being alone is more important to me than what I’m feeling for having her around, besides I don’t want to be alone in LA either.
-You have friends there.
-I know, but I prefer the company of my father right now.
-You’re sweet, honey.
-I think I will talk to her, but not today, maybe in a week or so. I’m going to head to the patio for a while. Could you tell her to go there?
-Sure honey.
Rio was sitting on the same stairs as a few hours ago when she heard the door open and close, Agatha came over and sat next to her, only closer this time. Rio's hand was resting on the floor to her right, without saying a word Agatha placed her left hand just a few millimeters from Rio's, moving it closer little by little until her little finger touched Rio's hand, caressing it, smiling when she saw that Rio didn't pull her hand away.
-Your father told me to come here, do you want to talk?
-No, at least not today. My father told me that I should listen to you and at first I refused, but I thought about it and maybe I do want to hear what you have to say, but not today.- Rio took her phone out of her pocket, opening her contacts, she handed her phone to Agatha.- Write down your number, I'll reach out to you when I'm ready.
Agatha reached out her hand and their fingers touched again.
She handed back the phone with her number, Rio saw how she had saved herself as "Aggs" and a purple heart. She closed her eyes, squeezing them tightly to stop the tears from falling, she was the only one Agatha allowed to call her that. She always corrected anyone who called her "Aggs" but not her, never her.
-I’ll leave you alone if that’s what you want, or I can tell Nicky to get outside, I can see that you get along together, he admires you deeply, you know?
-He’s a good kid, he reminds me of you. He’s nothing like him.
-Until we can talk I need you to know just one thing.
-Go on.
-I’ve never been in love with him, I never loved him, I wasn’t happy with him, the only good thing that came from that marriage is Nicky.
-Why did you do it then? You said that you weren’t a lesbian.
-I wasn’t ready to admit that to myself because of my mother, I am a lesbian, and I could finally admit that two months ago.
-Happy coming out day, I guess.- Rio said smiling to her for the first time in sixteen years.
Agatha laughed at that, and she finally had the courage to take Rio’s hand and intertwining their fingers.
-I missed your smile Rio, I’ve missed you.
-Mmh.
-Did you missed me Rio?
-You don’t need me to answer that.
-I need you to say it, please Rio.
Rio turned her head to Agatha, and she could see the pleading in her eyes, those beautiful blue eyes that she had lost herself in so many years ago, were still as beautiful as the last time she saw them. The weight of the truth was squeezing her heart, she would never stop loving her, Agatha Harkness had kissed her heart leaving a mark, a mark that had prevented any other woman from even coming close to touching Rio's heart.
-Yes Agatha, I’ve missed you too.
-Can I stay? here with you I mean.
-Look I agreed to talk to you, and this is really nice, to have you close but now I need time and I need to be alone, go back inside Agatha. Say hi from me to Jen and Alice. I’ll stay here, I don’t want to be inside, I already said goodbye to my mom. Tell my dad that I will stay here until everyone leaves.
-Rio you’ll freeze here if you stay too long. Go to your room or I don’t know, we can go anywhere you want.
Rio stood up harshly.
-I don’t want to be near you Agatha, leave me the fuck alone.
A single tear ran down Agatha's right cheek, she stood up lightly caressing Rio's hand and headed inside the house leaving her behind.
The only thing that was going through Rio's head was "don't go" "don't leave me alone again" "don't abandon me" "tell me you still love me" but her mouth was incapable of saying them out loud, if she said them out loud it would make it true and Rio Vidal would never admit in front of Agatha that she still loved her, that she still wanted to have her by her side, that she would never be able to forget how her lips had kissed every inch of her skin, that she would never forget the softness of her body or how safe she always felt with Agatha by her side, because nothing she could say would make her change her mind, she would never go back to Agatha Harkness despite it was everything Rio wanted.
Salem, September 16, 2024
Her mother's funeral had been painful and exhausting, she had received condolences from so many people that she couldn't even count them, the ceremony had been beautiful, both she and her father dedicated a few words to her mother. Agatha had gone with her son to the funeral, both had expressed how sorry they were, but Rio hadn't seen herself with the will to say more than a "thank you" to them both, to be honest with herself she felt really bad about how she had spoken to Agatha yesterday, she regretted what she had said to her and the truth was that she did want to be close to her, but she didn't know how to forgive her, she didn't know how to move forward from where they were and anyway she would return to Los Angeles in a month or two, and Agatha's life was here in Salem, with her son. Rio could only think that it didn't matter that she was no longer married, if Agatha wasn't able to risk everything for her the first time, she wouldn't do it now.
They had returned from the funeral a few hours ago and Rio was lying in what was her room, with her phone in her hand and Agatha's phone open, she had written and deleted the message more than ten times, finally she wrote something that seemed appropriate.
Rio: Hi, I'm Rio. I just wanted to write to you to apologize for how I spoke to you yesterday and to thank you for coming to the funeral both yesterday and today, good night.
Agatha: It's okay, I understand. When are you leaving?
Rio: I'm going to stay for a month or two, I don't want to leave my father alone. I don't have a return flight yet.
Agatha: Do you still want to listen to me?
Rio: Yes, tomorrow if that's okay with you.
Agatha: You can come in the morning, I'll make you breakfast and coffee if you want, Nicky will be at school.
Rio: Coffee is fine Agatha. I'll be there at ten, send me your address, I’ll see you tomorrow.
Agatha: Good night, Rio.
Rio left her phone on the nightstand, tomorrow she would have to listen to Agatha, whatever she had to say to her, and she knew that if she had changed her father's mind, she would probably change hers and she didn't know if she was ready for that, because if she truly forgave her she didn't know if she would be able to disappear from Agatha's life again.