Chapter 1
"Do you blame yourself..?"
..."Do you blame yourself for the accident, the blood, the fall, hell the loss of the lillys wings?"
"...No? Well that makes an awfully lovely amount of sense just doesn't it; it all really just stems from justice doesn't because really in the end that is the seed of it all."
We all need to breath don't we, we all eventually take a path and make a dozen choices and comfort ourselves in the flesh and flush of it... they say the road to hell is paved with lovely intentions but then again all it takes is one word, one thought against it all and then it all falls apart. Thats what happened to us, thats what we were, a choice and seemingly a good one at the time together and then we disagreed for the first time, then the second, the third and so many more. It was disappointment, anger, sadness,disillusionment, apathy, and then an odd acceptance because between the both of us even covered in our mutual destruction, the blood gore, and pure tarnished fantasy that we were and what was all and then that was the end. A step back, a tear or maybe two, a grimace in the dark doned by two... that was our eclipsing apart from what could've been forever.
I guess we could explain that the accident was well... it was only natural considering the could've beens; it was the start of our natural disaster into being who we are.
Then again this is just ourselves, me myself, and you that is me... the witness with their own handy knife slowly sawing through our own veins grasping sanguine splashing and pooling lofty on cool tiles. That was our end and then... then we woke up and that was the start of our beginning again.
So short was the bubbles and the depressed choking, then the subconscious screams of our new mother into again tomorrow.
We are born again, its cold, its hot, it's bloody... and we are confused because how ever could we possibly understand after all we are so...new.
It's dark outside, stars are beautiful twinkling adjutant to the moon and all the dappling of its clover light.
Against the air is copper and sweet mint, far a couple miles to the east despite the curling of a new child at her mother breast so God forsaken confused just miles away even as the flesh of the breast goes cold and last breaths die... just miles away men and women are screaming. Its war and its beautiful opportunity even as ugly as a glory as it is. Then again who but those that feel the sea salt in their blood, those that tremble in rage amoung the bloody mist to appreciate such a war. After all the war is just as civil as it is international with every other major element.
Its cruel; the energy fizzling just beneath the surface but what better then sheer adversity, pain, The taste of your own blood, and senseless slaughter to be born among, to be born again with. After all what better place to reincarnate from but the lowest dredge of the ocean, as the smallest newborn fish drops strait from their shattered fishbowl into the ocean with broken growing sharp teeth to learn and be.
...
She wakes...
Shes born small to a breast screaming still and confused unlike her confident and later dying mother; she's just so small and she's named Kaiyo for forgiveness ironically enough; in the bloody mist their is no such room for the foolish notion of forgiveness especially for a rueful kunoichi serving the mist much less for one of the elite ranks Jonin but thats what shes named and so that is what she is with the small fish tag dropped with a dozen other orphans at another mainfront orphanage for temperorary keeps to be picked up end of the war.
KAIYO is small and ironically she doesn't understand her namesake for years to come much less the understanding of letting go of such small grudges even as a toddler. Then again what starving brat would forget when their foster niichans stole all but one of the mochi flavored sweets she got as a gift one year through a soft couple coming to adopt suprizingly during war time.
Shes small, shes cute, and shes two years old when the war cuts its ends and another starts brewing more fiercely and boiling at home on the bleeding islands as the locals eventually dub themselves.
Shes just as small as she was in mind when it started for herself when ninja who dropped off the rape baby's and newborns come back and raid to take takebacks. Its cold, it isn't a new notion; but its still a suprize even as sweet Taoma-chan takes a shuriken to the throat and bleeds out all over the children hinding from under and behind her long skirts. Kaiyo still remembers how cold it was outside, how the children screamed, and the tears seemed to trail the same paths down her too small face because what is really shouldn't be according to such immediate and traumatizing recollections.
Shes small, she doesn't understand or even know her before last and a first name and yet she clings still to this first, it tastes of wet salt and her cheeks can't help but cringe at the sweetened fresh splashes of copper... the view of cooling butchered flesh.
If this is what her next life is why did she ever kill herself; couldn't she have waited it out a bit in her misery... maybe if she did she wouldn't have been born into this, knowing as a witness of that... being herself; its all to cruel but this is hell isn't it just so special and crafted just for her and every other undeserving pitiful soul.
This was her death, her past is her futures new life and how it hurts.
Later she finds that they keep her alive and don't drop her and drown her with all the other fishes in the water like the listless hungry grieving frightful sack of flesh that she is and was because of her sheer potential possibly. They took her with a dozen screaming and crying others and slaughtered everyone else because each of them was somehow in someway special. She was to be an extra cannonfodder to bolster her new villages soldier pools resources, another child soldier to add to the frey just like all the many more.
She finds that they kept her because of her unusual sunset red and creeping glow of a sunset orange gold eyes; an unusual feature but then again Chakra does that to the special ones; it mutates them, makes them different and unique from the rest of the flock, the school. Another fish with pretty unique scales, but then again still a fish with flesh ripe for the fish mongers slaughter as all wonder and lick their smiling lips and fingers curling around knifes and forks. Theirs a hunger in all of them for the death, the slaughter, the kink of the mist and those breeding and bleeding for the sharks within.
With pretty sunset eyes and Chakra blazing like a small sun shes kept; from checkpoint to checkpoint they are dropped and picked up and the children sorted from whats eventually going draw as a useful tool and whats to be discarded early. Shes kept, after the first seven slaughters infront of her she learns even as a child turing soon three to not turn away from the viscera, to let the sanguine dry on her hair and mark her in the midst of them, well blood not her own atleast, she still crys but its silent and that flaw can be looked past since she's still so young, growing, and can be taught, conditioned anyway.
By a little past her third birthday shes dropped in an overcrowded Kiri orphanage with fourteen other tired others, on the first night and every night after shes fed slop with sometimes a cracker she fights with other more scrappy cunning brats for and after sometimes.
I'm the orphaned there is no concept of sharing if its to be food, clothing though, body heat, and even just the space to sleep on the musty wooden floorboards and the collapsing air they all breath together is communal. One thing that does build comradery is being from whos and which orphanage if you are in one at all, being that some get simply kicked out and join the ever-growing alley sewer rats and brats that join the child street gangs.
Because Kaiyos orphanage is once third placed and rather close to the academy they get priority feeding even as other children, men, and women die starving on the streets. Because they get priority its also expected that their orphanage is the one with the highest percentage of ready applicants, well of their own consent or otherwise but then when does a born child into the mess at best of the mist ever have a choice even through the slaughter... they have orders and woe to those that don't follow their leash.
She joins the academy as early as six, well assuming she is that age according to a willy medical ninja exhausted yet still on staff. Like evey other mist brat shes set into the pre-genin academy student barracks and given three sets of a uniform, their cloths and any defining features of dress are disposed of and dispirited with fashion being simply whats practical, whats bloody, or what the more famous elite killers who survived long enough to be allowed their eccentricities wear and wore years before past.
She along with every other applicant are given a set schedule and a routine to follow through and rule their lives with and occasionally a blade because maybe their future build would suit it. Still everyone's given basic sword and blade work training and care classes, those that lose fingers by being careless get them set back on first with painful stitches and then substandard medical ninjutsu for functionalities sake and all that's left to show of it are rather ugly scars left behind. Kaiyo looses her left ring finger a quarter dozen times because she simply doesn't learn until she does. When she does learn instead of losing just her ring finger for it she gets her ass kicked by an upperclassmen; that all happens because apparently reinventing shuriken throwing tricks a couple minutes past class curfew is enough. Well enough for any aspiring cruel tiny bastard wannabe swordswoman atleast; Kaiyo gets a long deeper cut down her left cheek trailing a littler lower then her collarbone as in about a inch and an extra centimeter to tack on so to say. Its a long and thing scratch and it bleeds alot, hurts like an utter bitch even with all the other blackeninh bruises like crowning jewels. They're healed so fast only because the on staff medical ninja thought it it was a curios joke that she got her ass beat so hard over nothing even though the notion of territory with a time table isn much of a joke but more of a rule there in Kirigakure. Its a joke, and sure it makes the medic-nin smile mockingly at her but it gets her wounds healed in a pinch withought leaving her own small knowledgeless self to tend to them and their eventual infection; the only price she has to pay is a bit of humiliation and another scar to add to the list of them she got during her oddessey of stupidity and growing up with ninja training. But then again what is a ignorant child soldier supposed to do but learn, follow orders and then live and not nessicarily in that order and even then the notion of living is more like surviving and serving than anything til death.
Kaiyo doesn't forget this and she doesn't forgive but then again she doesn't need to, after all the fact is this... that in three weeks time that medical ninja was transfered to a different department more in the emergency ER where three years later some dying ninja on a table wakes up and throws a panicked nature transformation lightning ninjutsu and said patient and the four practitioners die screaming minute over them. Two others nearby are injured so badly their Chakra systems are fried from the electricity, she never knows the medical ninjas name but he knows hers and laughs all the more for it, then he dies and no one morns for himself as a person but more as a statistic and a toll broken before his usefulness could've ended naturally. He dies two years before her graduation, and she lives past him and all her insecurities, trains, learns, grows throughout the adversity, and eventually kills because its what suited and expected of her by mission protocol for graduates.
This is not her end... if anything this is her beginning... forgiveness in an ocean of blood and regret, a suicide due to depressions weakness and then trained a shark on a tight leash is the child with sunset eyes. This is Kaiyo... and this is what she becomes.