Catching up with her friends [And realizing she had killed]
She hadn't seen or heard from her teacher in two days after that incident. She had woken up in her library and resumed with her life that day even if she was angry enough to kill.
A lot of things had happened though. Jiraiya was apparently staying in the village for a while, Minato was taking a small break from missions according to Kakashi, and Sasuke was nowhere to be seen. She had a feeling about what exactly could be happening but she did nothing about it.
If such strong and intelligent people wouldn't be able to do something about it then she doubted she could.
She paused in her shopping when she saw Raidou and Genma enter the shop. It had been a while since all three of them had met. Her face brightened into a smile as she waved at them slightly.
"Hey there Mori, so what're you up to? We haven't seen you in like a week or so now! Also, what's up with your team? And what is going with your grandparents? They almost choked me with their hugs. Also-"-Raidou
Raidou, the one without manners and basic common sense sometimes, took the lead in building up a conversation as he rambled on about whatever questions he had for her. She mostly ignored them as she knew that he would ask them again properly when he calmed down.
Genma shook his head fondly at his friend's antics. Honestly, Annaisha and him had been telling him to control himself whenever he was too excited, for years now, and yet he still hadn't made any progress. It was as though he ignored their warnings on purpose. The bastard.
They left the shop and headed for her library soon and Raidou still hadn't shut up. Annaisha lightly hit him on head for making comments about the people passing by and that made him go quiet.
He repeated his questions, as expectedly, and she could see the concern in his eyes.
"Well, we were on a mission and I had gotten injured so I was still recovering. You guys were also on missions so we hadn't had the time to see each other. And one of my teammates has tragically passed away."-Annaisha
Oh.
They blinked at her and then realized that she really didn't care about that teammate of hers aside from feeling a bit of pity. They guessed they should've expected this from her. She was never one to build 'real bonds' with people when they themselves weren't interested in her. She had told them that clearly one day when she asked a girl to be her friend but got rejected and they had tried to comfort her, 'It's fine. She doesn't care about me so I won't care about her anymore. It's not like she was my irreplaceable friend or something. She was just a girl I was interested in being with friends with and got rejected. Nothing to be too sad about.'
And the Kurama had made it clear he didn't give a sh*t about her long ago.
"As for my grandparents, I bet they were just missing you two. They haven't seen you in a while you know. Don't worry they're mentally fine. So what's up with you two? You look like you both hadn't known what sleep is for like months now."-Annaisha
"Oh, our sensei was having us take too many missions. Says we need experience for the ongoing war."-Genma
She noticed he had frowned a bit at the last part. She guessed that they haven't had it easy either. War was never easy on anyone, she needed to learn that by now.
They hung out with each other until Genma and Raidou had to leave for training. She was reminded that she hadn't trained in a while either. She idly wondered if Yasahiro had trained. He probably had, since he had another teacher to help him out.
'I guess I should start my training again too.'
There wasn't much she could do right now except to keep practicing her katas, ninjutsu and whatever taijutsu she could without having an opponent. She could work a bit harder on her poisons and healing jutsu but she didn't feel like it. She liked experimenting with the different poisons and the idea of healing but she didn't like working on it too much. She liked reading her books and making plans. She liked boring and repeating jobs. She liked the idea of working with boring papers and unchanging schedules.
She craved chaos at times but there was a certain kind of peace that could only be achieved in boring things.
'I can't wait to completely own the library. It'll be nice to be able to work there with no legal problems.'
Her face had a small smile as she closed her eyes to imagine her peaceful days of reading her books without the disturbance of her blood relatives, except her grandparents.
"What're you doing?"-Kakashi
She managed to not flinch when Kakashi suddenly appeared beside her.
"Nothing. Why do you keep doing that?"-Annaisha
"You're the one who doesn't pay attention to your surroundings."-Kakashi
It was always a wonder why she wouldn't know when he would arrive when she could sense others perfectly fine.
She pouted slightly before following him to somewhere. She didn't know where he was going and he didn't bother to tell her so she didn't ask. She enjoyed the quiet time they had together, it was hard to find moments like this with Kakashi's team practically following him everywhere he goes whenever he isn't on a mission, and with Annaisha's tendencies to lock herself in her library. She knew she had to fix that habit but it hadn't done her any harm till now so she didn't bother with it for now.
He paused when they came in the Uchiha compound. Well, more specifically, the area was near the compound but people would still call it a part of the Uchiha's place as a lot of Uchiha still roamed around there.
'So we're visiting Obito.'
The visit was short and loud. Obito was happy to see his favorite junior, who was Annaisha, Kakashi had just rolled his eyes at the display of affection between them and said something like, 'Gross...' at which Annaisha had glared at him. Rin came to join them soon enough and Annaisha finally understood it was their way of helping her out. They, except Kakashi since he knew her better, thought that she was still suffering from her teammate's death.
'Well, I suppose it's not too bad to be coddled like this.'
--- --- --- --- ---
She laid down on her bed, in her parents house. It had been a long time since she visited them. Apparently, her mother was pregnant with her father's child. Apparently, this time it was conceived out of love. Apparently, they wanted to for her to be there as the child's big sister. Apparently, they suddenly cared about her. Apparently, they realized that they also had parents and wanted to reconcile with them after mentally scarring and abusing them for over a decade. Apparently, she was supposed to be ok with all of this.
But she was not.
She could hate them but she didn't. Her grandparents could hate them but they didn't. They were all better people than that. They just didn't care about them anymore. Those two could do anything and she doubted they would care.
She absently sharpened her kunai and noticed that the blood stains on some of them wouldn't go. She didn't like them. They were a reminder.
The scars she'd gained from that fight were still there but she would learn to ignore them. She wouldn't look at herself in the mirror if she couldn't ignore them.
'Oh.'
She realized that the scars would never fade.
Her face was blank as her mind recalled whatever happened that day.
'I killed that one.'
Her breathing became more frantic as she realized that she had killed someone.
Her eyes became more blurry as she realized her hands had become bloody for some reason. Whose blood was it? Was it that man's? Did she take away someone's family? Did she make someone's life hell? Did she destroy someone else to save her own useless life?
She lightly stabbed herself with the kunai in her hand and glanced at the other one covered in blood. She stabbed herself again with the other kunai before sighing and letting some of her tears fall.
At least those kunai wouldn't be colored red from someone else's blood now.