Fortune Hold You (she's not your friend)

Kakashi lasts another day before he needs to be out doing something again.

Typically, if he hangs around the Hokage Tower long enough, someone is bound to send him on a mission, or at least give him a tedious task that will keep him occupied. So, Kakashi throws on his jonin uniform and shunshins to the Hokage Tower. If nothing else, he can at least get his ANBU squad together for a training session.

It seems like Kakashi's luck has not improved. With yesterday's fiasco still fresh in his head, Kakashi is loathe to head back to the Missions Desk, and outside of that, there's no one else for him to annoy (save for the Godaime, but Kakashi would rather gnaw off his own arm than willingly piss her off), and when he decides to rally his team together, he gets some startling news. Both Cat and Crow have been benched for the foreseeable future. All three of them have failed T&I's evaluation, it turns out. It seems that only Kakashi was kept on active duty, and even that was because Godaime couldn't spare him. Maybe she couldn't spare him because the rest of his team was already out of commission. Kakashi's team is the best in ANBU, and he can only imagine what might happen if all of them were out of the field.

It is interesting, come to think of it. Kakashi has S-level clearance, so he could spend his entire morning painstakingly combing through jonin files to cross-check their evaluation scores if he wanted to. But Kakashi did not come to the Hokage Tower to spend all day shut up in it, and besides, he isn't entirely sure whether it might seem suspicious, tied up in the records rooms of the Hokage Tower when it's no secret Kakashi avoids that place like a plague. Especially after Kakashi's last mission looming so close in his memory; he doesn't want to be suspected as a double agent, or worse yet, a traitor.

One of Kakashi's little pleasures is breaking through a heavy ward with his shunshin; it uses up more chakra than he probably should be parting with, but it's worth it for the almost-expression on Tenzo's face when he appears unceremoniously in his rooms. Almost every ward will let him through with enough chakra forced through it, given Kakashi's examined the wards with his Sharingan and pushed his chakra in through the right crevices, with the right kind of chakra nature.

It leaves him a little dizzy this time, which he should have expected. He has not been quite so strict in replenishing his chakra reserves even up to a quarter with the way he's been acting. Still, he smiles at his Kouhai, who is still kneeling in the center of his living space, seiza style, as if he's been waiting for someone.

"Senpai," Tenzo says, long-suffering. "I heard you'd been hospitalized."

"Slander," Kakashi replies with a wave of his fingers. Then he tucks his hands into his pockets and leans heavily against a nearby bookshelf, to mask the dizzy spell. "I wanted to visit my dear Kouhai during his convalescence."

"You heard."

"Imagine this Commander's surprise when his whole team failed a very important test from T&I."

Tenzo blinks.

"Itachi too?" Kakashi nods, and Tenzo hums to himself, thoughtful. "You and I, Senpai, I can understand. But Itachi?"

"Maa, Tenzo, who said anything about me? I'm still on active duty."

"You said 'the whole team,' Senpai," Tenzo argues, too-smart as always. "As you have no severe injuries and were not forcefully detained at the hospital, I surmised that the story had been concocted to prevent unwanted rumors."

Kakashi hadn't considered that. It's true that he's never been benched for more than three days because of chakra exhaustion. Maybe, if he'd had a real debrief with the Godaime, he would know for sure. Then again, it's not like he and the Godaime are prone to gossip. Likely he'll give his report in as few words as possible and she'll dismiss him immediately, to get him out of her hair.

Kakashi hums thoughtfully, thinking about the puzzle of it. Then, he thinks back to the series of questions Iruka had asked him, and starts to worry for his Kouhai.

"Tenzo," he starts, then fizzles out at the blank look on Tenzo's face. "Are you…that is. How are you doing?"

"As well as normal, I expect."

"You failed Iruka's psychological evaluation." Tenzo's head inclines in agreement. Kakashi tries to figure out a delicate way to ask this. "Why did you fail the exam?"

Tenzo blinks up at him.

"I was asked a series of questions about my state of mind," Tenzo says eventually. There is no outward change to the inflection of his voice, but Kakashi gets the feeling that Tenzo thinks him slow for asking. "Afterwards, it was determined I should remain off-duty for a period of two months, during which I would be assigned a trained professional who might help me work through my—" here, Tenzo trails off for a moment, a slight flush crawling up his neck. "Issues."

"Issues," Kakashi repeats, although he can guess at Tenzo's issues. He was, after all, raised in a test tube in Orochimaru's lab and experimented on for all of his youth. When one puts it like that, it's a wonder Tenzo doesn't have more issues. "And they…talked to you? About your issues?"

"Oh yes." Tenzo shifts uncomfortably, until he finally decides to stand and cross into his tiny kitchen. Kakashi follows after him, glad that his dizzy spell has dispersed. "You know, Senpai, I had no idea you had also been evaluated." He's buried his head in one of his cabinets, no doubt to avoid Kakashi's stare. "There's no record of it, you know."

Kakashi thinks of the way a scroll had crumpled in Tsunade's hand, and what might have happened to it after she'd stormed out of the tiny interrogation room at T&I.

"If there's no paperwork trail, did it ever really happen?" Kakashi asks rhetorically.

Tenzo emerges from the cabinets with a teapot in his hands, and because he still doesn't quite have the hang of rhetorical questions, takes a long moment to think this over.

"Then I take it they did not talk to you about your…issues."

Kakashi thinks of the angry set of Iruka's shoulders at T&I, of the gentle pressure of his hand overtop Kakashi's.

A slip of paper pressed into his hands, Iruka, calling himself Kakashi's friend.

"I suppose not," Kakashi admits finally.

He deeply regrets initiating this entire conversation when Tenzo's eyes flicker towards him again, intense and unreadable as ever. The urge to backtrack sits heavy in the back of his throat, but he knows he won't be fooling Tenzo. For one, Tenzo is too smart for his own good. For another, he's had to talk Kakashi through at least one PTSD episode halfway through several missions, so denial will do him no favors.

"Is it. Helpful?" At Tenzo's blank state, Kakashi continues. "Talking to someone?"

Tenzo tilts his head, considering.

"I would recommend it."

The slip of paper Iruka gave him burns a hole in his pocket.

Kakashi turns to the living room to inspect Tenzo's meager belongings, desperate to change the subject, while Tenzo goes about making tea. He doesn't think he's ever been at Tenzo's apartment for longer than two minutes; just enough time for Hound to summon Cat.

Eventually, Tenzo sets a tray down on the low table in his living room. The intricacies of politeness still elude Tenzo, who hadn't even asked Kakashi if he'd like some tea, no less given Kakashi the opportunity to deny him twice before politely accepting on the third insistence. But Kakashi has never seen the need for the whole farce of niceties either; so maybe Tenzo isn't entirely to blame. Tenzo merely pours two cups out for them then goes back to kneeling beside the table and watching Kakashi.

"I've never had anyone over for tea," Tenzo says into the blisteringly awkward silence.

Carefully, Kakashi lifts the other cup, letting the warmth of the ceramic seep into his gloved palms. Tries not to think of Minato Sensei and Kushina-sama, the bright agarwood incense smell of their home, sweet sincha on his tongue.

"Me neither," Kakashi says, taking a sip through the cloth of his mask.

The rest of the visit is awkward, as far as social interactions go, but neither Kakashi nor Tenzo seem bothered by that. They sit in companionable silence for the fifteen minutes it takes them to finish their tea, and when Kakashi suggests they check-in on Itachi, Tenzo nods his head once and they go.

The Uchiha complex isn't far from Tenzo's apartment in the jonin barracks. Kakashi remembers, early on after the Kyuubi attack, that there had been rumors of Konoha moving the whole complex to the outskirts of town, but once Tsunade had been named Godaime, all that talk had summarily vanished.

As Clan Head, Fugaku's estate is in the heart of the compound, easy to find despite Kakashi never once setting foot in the place before. Kakashi gets a few stink-eyes from an Uchiha here and there—no doubt his reputation as the Sharingan Thief isn't doing him any favors, but the walk is short. They don't run into any trouble, at least.

The house is traditional, sprawling, and spacious like Kakashi's own estate, only with less blood painted into the floorboards. Neither Fugaku nor his wife are home, but they find Itachi on the veranda out back with his little brother, Sasuke, and a scattered pile of paper splattered with paints.

"A dutiful older brother, as always," Kakashi says as a way of greeting.

Itachi doesn't move from where he's carefully painting a bird on his sheet of paper. Sasuke looks up and drops his paintbrush with a wet clatter. He points at the two of them as they approach, his black eyes huge and unwavering.

"Not allowed," Sasuke says, with all the authority of a future clan head. He blinks, then turns to his big brother. "Right? Dad said no strange people."

"They're not strangers," Itachi responds, and it fills Kakashi with warmth.

"I would call us strange people though," he chimes in, and that finally gets Itachi to turn to them.

There's a faint scowl on his face, but it disappears the instant Sasuke tugs on his shirt. Kakashi wiggles his fingers in a wave, just to be annoying.

"Oh," Sasuke says. "Onii-chan, are they your friends?"

Itachi considers it for a long moment, and while they're standing around in awkward silence, Kakashi takes a moment to consider it as well. From the way Tenzou's lips twist, he can tell he's wondering about it too. Are they friends? Kakashi hasn't had friends since he killed the last batch, besides Gai. Surely Tenzou and Itachi wouldn't want to be friends with their senpai? With the Friend Killer?

You want to be friends with the Friend Killer?

I want to be friends with Kakashi. If that's something you want.

"Yes, Sasuke," Itachi finally replies. "They are my friends. That's Kakashi-taichou and Tenzou-san."

"Oh." Sasuke blinks again, then goes back to his drawing. "That's okay then."

"What do you want?"

"Can't a Senpai visit his darling Kouhais without triggering an inquisition?" Kakashi asks.

Itachi tilts his head in much the same way Tenzou did earlier. Apparently, Itachi doesn't have the hang of rhetorical questions either. No one to blame there except the Clan Head though.

"Is this an inquisition?"

"We were worried about you," Tenzou says.

Tenzou takes a step towards the veranda, looking between the two boys and Kakashi as if unsure what to do next. He does seem a little bit like he's worried, but then again Tenzou isn't the type to lie, even for teasing. Itachi's eyes swivel his way.

"Did Tsunade tell you?"

"I went looking for my squad," Kakashi replies. There's a scowl creeping up Itachi's face again, and he wonders what the boy is thinking. If he's remembering his session at T&I and trying to guess at how much Kakashi knows. "I don't know the specifics, and it's not written in your file exactly what happened. It didn't take a genius to know what happened."

Itachi hums, looking back down at his brother.

"I was pulled off active duty two and a half months ago," Itachi finally says. "Did you only just now wonder?"

Six weeks ago was Kakashi's own psych eval. Since then, he's been run ragged on solo missions, both jonin and ANBU, where he spent less than 24 hours in Konoha between missions. Before that, Tsunade assigned him a twenty-day-long reconnaissance mission, just Kakashi and his dogs.

("I'd like to take Cat and Crow," Hound had said to the Godaime, one of the few requests he's ever made of her. "Our team is the perfect tracking unit. Within the mission parameters, we could complete the mission in eleven days."

"This is a solo mission," Tsunade had snapped. The annoyance in her tone had been memorable at the time for being unwarranted. "Do not contact Crow. Do not contact Cat. You will leave immediately."

Safe behind two masks, Kakashi had clenched his jaw. He hadn't bothered to nod, and disappeared with a single flicker of light.)

"Tenzo," Kakashi says into the charged silence, "when were you pulled off active duty?"

Itachi turns to Tenzo then, frowning. Clearly, it's news to him.

"About eight weeks ago."

Kakashi hums, intrigued.

"Something very interesting was happening six weeks ago," Kakashi says mildly. "It is interesting that our whole squad was evaluated at the same time, no? Ten weeks ago, Itachi. Two weeks later, Tenzou. I was sent on a solo mission, probably within days of your being pulled off active duty. The Godaime's behavior was abnormal that day. Then, the day I return, I'm called in as well."

Itachi blinks, although Kakashi can tell his mind is already whirring. He's a genius just the same as Kakashi, after all. Tenzo, never too far behind, looks between the two of them. His face never betrays much of anything, but Kakashi can tell he's still confused.

"You're suggesting an ulterior motive to who is evaluated, and when," Tenzo says, not a question at all. He hums; tilts his head. "I was initially taken to a cell in T&I for further evaluation. My release was predicated on revealing to them certain ANBU code names."

"Oh?" Kakashi asks, "What names? For what purpose?"

"To root out the opposition," Itachi guesses, and Kakashi doesn't miss his word choice there. Tenzo nods. His expression doesn't change, but Kakashi can tell that he's pleased.

"We'd need access to the complete record of the evaluations, to confirm," Tenzou adds.

Kakashi thinks of his own scroll, crumpled in Tsunade's fist. He shakes his head.

"They go directly to the Godaime. What needs no record will have no record."

"What makes you sure?" Tenzo asks.

"Itachi-niisan," Sasuke interrupts, pulling everyone's attention back to him. He's pouting, holding up his drawing in his tiny, chubby hands. "Onii-chan, I finished. Look."

Itachi dutifully takes the paper from his little brother's hands, eyes roaming the drawing. He looks as serious as he does when he reviews their mission reports. Kakashi can't help himself and leans over to see the work in question.

At first glance, it looks like the messy, incomprehensible scribbles of a child, but after a moment, Kakashi can see the beginning of a seal with a lopsided circle in the middle meant for chakra. The script leaves something to be desired, but considering Sasuke's age, it is a marvel.

"Very good, Sasuke," Itachi says. He taps a finger on his little brother's forehead then runs a hand over the back of his hair in clear praise.

"I'm learning fuinjutsu," Sasuke tells both Tenzo and Kakashi, serious as his older brother. When Itachi hands him back his paper, the look breaks, and he smiles, hugging the sheet to his chest and no doubt smudging the ink. "Onii-chan is teaching me."

"What a good older brother you have, Sasuke-kun," Kakashi says, and Sasuke nods so hard his hair goes flying everywhere.

"Onii-chan is the best big brother in the world! He's a genius!"

That pulls a smile onto Itachi's face; the first one Kakashi thinks he's ever seen.

"Go inside, Sasuke," Itachi says, tapping him again on the forehead. "Can you get everything out for lunch? I'll join you in a bit."

Sasuke nods and scampers off, stumbling a bit at the stairs. Kakashi watches him go and wonders if he had ever been that young.

"How old is Sasuke-kun, Itachi-san?" he can't help but ask.

Itachi, craning his head to watch Sasuke's careful trod inside, doesn't answer for a long, long time.

"Six," Itachi says, his voice low.

"He's very smart, for his age," Tenzou replies.

The corners of Itachi's lips curl up, wry amusement perhaps. His eyes flicker to Kakashi for the briefest moment.

"He is," Itachi agrees.

Kakashi hears the part he doesn't say aloud. But he's not a genius. Itachi had been talented enough to join the Academy by Sasuke's age. Kakashi himself had already graduated by then. He'd already—

Sakumo had already—

Kakashi was already living on his own at that age. Kakashi is beginning to think that no, he had never been so young as little Sasuke, who smiles at his older brother and waits patiently for both his parents to come back home.

"What a team we make," Kakashi sighs, rubbing his thumb along the bottom edge of his hitae-ate. "I'm sure we all fondly remember our own youthful days."

Beside him, both Tenzou and Itachi are silent. Three prodigies, all recruited too young, all fucked up in their own unique ways.

"If there were records, any ANBU, any ROOT, could find them," Itachi finally says to break the silence, picking up the conversation thread from earlier. "They can't afford for it to get back to The Head."

The unspoken name hangs in the air around them like blood in muddy water. Kakashi thinks back to Iruka's gentle smile, the warmth spreading outward from the touch of his hand.

(I'm glad that you're alive today. I'll be glad that you're alive tomorrow.)

(I want to be your friend, Kakashi.)

Something twists, sharp and painful, in his chest. He should have known it was all for a mission. No one has shown him a scrap of genuine kindness like that in his whole life.

"What should we do, Kakashi-taichou?" Tenzou asks.

Kakashi swallows past the pain in his throat, glad for the mask covering the movement.

"For now, let's have lunch with Itachi-san and Sasuke-kun," Kakashi says, squinting his eye up into a crescent-shaped would-be smile. "There's not much to do yet, with so little intel."

The command is clear in the undertone: to keep their eyes open, to start gathering information without arousing suspicion on either side. For a moment, Cat, Crow, and Hound stand together in silence, nothing but the cold autumn breeze sifting through their hair; ANBU's best squad finishing a mission briefing. He thinks: S-class, at least, to keep the Hokage and Danzo from knowing they've been discovered.

Missing-Nin level consequences, should either side decide to call it treason.

"Onii-chan!" Sasuke's voice calls from inside, impatient. "Are you coming?"

Itachi blinks once, then tilts his head down in a nod.

"Get two more plates, Sasuke," Itachi responds. "Kakashi-taichou and Tenzou-san are having lunch with us."

Sasuke calls back an affirmative, and Kakashi lets the solemn mood around them dissipate. He sets a hand on Itachi's shoulder, tilts his head, and smiles again. Genuine this time.

"Ahh, Itachi-san, you're too kind."

Itachi's eyes flicker to the hand on his shoulder, just once, before he turns and heads inside without another word.

"No manners these days," Kakashi laments, mostly for show.

Tenzou stays silent, but Kakashi can distinctly feel the long-suffering grimace he wants to make. Behind his mask, Kakashi smiles again. It feels real. He follows his team inside and tries to ignore everything else.

Sasuke is beaming at his older brother, and it warms something in Kakashi to see it.

Six, he thinks again. Was Kakashi ever that young?

Kakashi turns six when the leaves on the beech trees outside the Hatake compound are only just beginning to turn burnished gold, with the maple trees flowering orange blooms startling in their own still-green leaves. September at the Hatake compound is a study of yellows and oranges, a true in-between phase before the brilliant red of October can take hold. The days are still long and warm, but the night shows its promise of autumn. It's Kakashi's favorite time of year; the space between seasons, when nature holds its breath to see what will come next. When some things are winding down for the winter, when others are still stubbornly thriving. Kakashi turns six with little fanfare; last year, after all, was the big year. He'd joined the Academy, took the place by a whirlwind, and graduated in only a year.

It's just the three of them: Kakashi, Sakumo, and his dad's ninken, Pakkun. There's no cake because Kakashi didn't want one; there are no decorations because Sakumo didn't ask if he wanted any, and it felt dumb to ask. His dad cooks them a huge dinner: yakitori and tempura shrimp, natto with pickled ginger, curry udon, and mountains of fluffy rice. Right in the middle of a growth spurt, Kakashi demolishes the meal the way only very small, very hungry children do. Both he and Pakkun are gnawing on the last bit of their yakitori when Sakumo says, "Are you ready for your gift?"

Kakashi drops his skewer in his haste.

"You got me a birthday gift?"

Sakumo nods, pulling a thin box out of his vest. It's not wrapped except for the dark blue ribbon tied neatly around its middle. Kakashi takes the offering and pulls off the ribbon slowly, folding it meticulously before opening the box. Inside is a scroll that, when unfurled, reveals a series of complicated-looking seals that seems to go on for miles and miles. Kakashi looks up at his dad, excited but not sure what there is to be excited about. Beside him, Pakkun turns to Sakumo as well, raising one little doggy eyebrow.

"It's my contract with Pakkun," Sakumo explains. "I want you to have it."

"Boss," Pakkun says, a hint of warning in his tone. Kakashi doesn't notice; he's clutching the scroll to his chest as if someone might rip it from his hands at any moment.

"You're giving it to me?" he asks in awe. After a moment, he looks up at his dad, brow furrowed in confusion. "But what about you, Dad? Doesn't he protect you when you go out on missions?"

Both Pakkun and Kakashi turn questioning eyes toward Sakumo, but he only waves the question off with a tight smile.

"Pakkun needs to protect you more, I think." He runs a hand over Kakashi's unruly hair, much like one might pet a dog, not that Kakashi knows the difference. "You'll watch over him, won't you, Pakkun?"

Pakkun bares his teeth at Sakumo, not answering. They stare at each other for a long, unblinking moment, before Pakkun takes a huffing breath and turns to Kakashi.

"Sure, I'll keep an eye on the pup," Pakkun grumbles. Then, "Come on, Kid, I'll walk you through your first contract."

"Thank you!" Kakashi calls to his dad, then, after following Pakkun to the veranda, turns back around and launches himself into a hug.

Sakumo catches him and kneels to the floor to wrap himself around Kakashi. Kakashi wonders why his dad is trembling, faint tremors that he can only feel when he presses his face into his dad's chest.

"Go on," Sakumo says, pushing Kakashi back to the veranda. "You shouldn't keep Pakkun waiting. He hates waiting around, you know."

Kakashi nods, then rushes outside again. Sakumo kneels beside the kitchen table for a long time after that. Kakashi only knows because at some point later he scurries by the door and sees his dad still kneeling there, staring off into nothing. He hasn't even cleaned up after dinner.

But Kakashi has only just turned six, and he's finally convinced Pakkun into a game of tag as an excuse to test Kakashi's tracking abilities. So he gives his dad a single backward glance before he's rushed off again.

Ten days later, Kakashi finds Sakumo's body in a puddle of his own blood.

It's Pakkun who alerts the Hokage, who lets the medic-nin into the estate, who makes Kakashi shower and gets him into his own bedroom hours later, who pulls a blanket over his shoulders when he's shaking too much to even try.

"It's okay, Kid," Pakkun says, settling into his side. "I'm here. We'll figure it out, together."

(Years later, decades later, Kakashi will wonder just how long Sakumo had been planning what he'd done, and if his birthday gift wasn't a part of it.)

No, Kakashi doesn't think he was ever that young.